You know it’s true what they say when they say when it rains it pours. You can have a beautiful life until things start falling apart and they don’t stop. Why were all these things happening. Now my daughter was sneaking out at night, why God? I was so tired already and this behavior had only just started! Surely my life was not now reduced to chasing after my daughter. My husband had brought this one into our family and what ever bad demons were following her they had already come into my home. She had been in our house less than three hours and in our lives less than a week. In fact ever since her existence became known to us that’s how this family had fallen apart and here she was. I know it’s unfair to blame it all on her but I am sure if I was standing in front of a judge, presenting all these fact then he or she would agree with what I was saying. That dress though, where did she get that dress!
“It’s not what you are thinking at all!”
She said turning to look at me. I had not said anything at all but we all know that’s what guilt does. It makes you defensive and her she was clearly about to make up a lie. I had caught her red handed and I am grateful that I was not alone when it happened. My husband was there to witness why his long lost child was bad for us. I did not have to show him which would have made look like the evil step mother. I did not want to reprimand her though, that was her father’s job. He had to see for himself why this little devil should not be allowed in my house after tonight. He stood there and just looked at her. It’s like he did not know what to say to her! Men! Your daughter has just come back from God knows where this late and you have nothing to say! The look on my face was one of horror! He could not believe that his newly found daughter was teaching his baby all these naughty things. I could, I saw her with a sugardaddy. I immediately checked the car she had come with. It was a young man. How many men did she have really! I tolld my husband to go ask him who the hell he thought he was and at least this time he had the energy for it. My husband immediately when after the young men who true to form drove off. He left Nelisa stuck in the drive way! This irritated my husband so much that the boy did not even have the decency to hang around but one thing is fact, he would have killed him!
“In the house right now!”
He screamed at her and she obliged! She was too scared to disobey and so was I.
“How dare you do that? Your mother told me that you were a problem child but I didn’t believe her! Lintle is 15 and already you are sneaking her out! I am so disappointed in you!”
“My mother said I am a problem child?”
She asked trying to look innocent but you could see that her vein attempts at looking innocent really did not work. It’s not something she appreciated though.
“Yes she did and look around you! We are up 230am in the morning because of you. Who do you think should be blamed for this?”
He asked. Why were we shouting at this poor girl alone. Her partner in crime who had slithered away needed to be part of the slaughter. I shouted for Lintle to come downstairs to explain herself. She had somehow managed to actually go upstairs when she was the one under trial. I had to call her three times because the first attempt she was ignoring She was at least putting on pyjama bottoms when came down and she smelled of alcohol yet again. I could also smell toothpaste on her which I think is why she ran upstairs first to try and mask it.
“Is this what you want with your life!”
Sizwe shouted at her as soon as she sat down.
“Nothabo I am going to kill this child I promise you! What is wrong with her? She does not appreciate anything and look at her.”
He said to me before he turned to her! Why was he asking me? I hadd tried already and my part was done. It was his turn.
“Is this it! Do you want to be a teenage mother like all these girls out there?”
She just looked down and started crying.
“Every time we do something nice you throw it back into our faces and you Nelisa! You are the older one, how can you do this to your little sister!”
He asked her angrily. I wanted him to tell her never to come back but he went on and on about responsibilities. I just had to say it. I could not help it. As a mother, what would you do!
“Nelisa I don’t think you are welcome here again! I don’t hate you but I love my daughter more!”
I said calmly. I did not raise my voice. My husband was caught by surprise by me saying that and he immediately asked if we could talk on the side. I said no because I knew he wanted to change my mind.
“I don’t want my daughter to be a whore and I am not going to bring your mother into this either over how she failed with you but Lintle will not be a failure! I saw who picked you up! Now you want to teach my daughter such things and I won’t stand for it.
“It really is not what you think it is and my mother did not fail!”
She said defensively which only annoyed me more.
“Listen I know about your sister Nozipho! I know what time of family you come from so I see that you are headed that same path please don’t my daughter down that path with you!”
I told her sternly. I was not asking her I was telling and she had to listen. No more playing nice. My husband was incapable of making a stern decision but I was not nor was I going to sit back and see my daughters life ruined.
“Mum get over it already it’s not her fault. Nelisa you have permission tell her the truth please.”
Lintle said out of nowhere. She cut me off and again you could here her anger in her voice towards me.
“Don’t speak to your mother like that!”
My husband bellowed at her which made her jump in her seat! Nelisa looked at her and asked is she was sure about this because she could take it. This girl had a nerve. She was negotiating wwith my daughter right in front of us. This world really.
“No tell her! My mother blames everyone else but herself. Tell her the truth!”
My daughter said to Nelisa who at first looked confused before my husband said,
“Tell us what? Are your pregnant? Is that it!l
I actually laughed inside me at that thought because really, I think I would die if that was the case. Nelisa finally got her wits and spoke,
“I had nothing to do with it. She asked me to come pick her up and I was already in bed. I had to beg that guy from my building to go fetch her with me. I don’t even know him well! I was only helping but it’s fine, I will go home and never come back to my failure of a mother who taught me never to leave your family behind when they are in trouble!”
I was confused, I had been so convinced it was her,
Floor open up and swallow me now please!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Good day Mike please posts for me.
Firstly, I would like to thank you for coming up with Realities, I am one person who can truly relate as I am living the story and hope it’ll educate others on some of the convictions of being a wife.
I’ve been married for six years and have two kids, 3 and 6yrs old. We recently found out that hubby has a son, Tido (not real name) who’s 10yrs old. This has been really hard for me because my husband has taken this thing to a another level and I’ll explain why. It’s a really long story so I won’t get too much into details but now that hubby has a son his put him as first priority. We agreed that the boy can come visit every now and then when he wants and luckily the mother didn’t mind. He visited like twice and he never came again because he finds the place boring. We live in a very quiet neighborhood and he lives in a township so I can understand why he feels out of place and I was happy to know it’s that reason because when he came to visit all was well, the girls (my kids) really liked him and he was so disciplined, like when we were done eating, he took all the plates from us which I thought was really sweet for his age and as a boy, I mean his really responsible.
My husband grew up without a father so he has this enormous yearn to be a good father to all his kids which I really admire but its starting to affect our relationship because he doesn’t like this thing of Tido not coming to visit so he decided to transport him to school and when he has time he’ll transport him home. When he told me about this I was upset because he didn’t discuss it with me first and his respond was “It’s not like you were going to say no” which is not the point, the point is, he now wakes up extra early because he has to drive to the township and back to town, it’s not much but he says the 45min drive with his son is a great way to start the morning as they talk about a lot of stuff while joking and playing music. He really loves his son, even changed his DP as him. I will admit, I am alil jealous not of the boy but the love he has for the boy, yes Tido looks exactly like him, it’s like I see my husband in his younger days, they really look alike but it’s the way he loves him, its different compared to the girls. And now he wants to open a separate trust account for him like we have for the girls, and like many other things, he just threw that at me and I just had to accept. I don’t want this to come across as if I don’t want him to do things for his son it’s just the way he goes about doing things, his excluding me and I’ve noticed that he doesn’t have much time on his hands but if his son is somehow involved, he’ll make time. E.g. he doesn’t like and has never gone shopping for the girls but with Tido, he comes home with cloths and asks me what I think (this is on top of the maintenance he pays). How sweet. However, it’s not the cloths – it’s how his never came home with a pair of cute dresses for our daughters, it’s how he can take time off work and actually go to the mall to get something for his child or maybe he wasn’t there shopping for clothes but he managed to spot something which will look good on his son but what about my daughters, how come he never spots cute skirts for them??. I don’t doubt he loves his girls but I just feel like with his son it’s different, at times I even think it’s not about the child but the mother of the child. Most married men who have kids outside marriage just support those children financially but yena his doing all these things I feel his trying to make an impression on her, not sure how but it could be possible and his argument is that his making up for lost times and wants his son to have an active father, something he didn’t have. So u see I can’t say much after that. He sometimes accuses me of being spoilt and the reason I act the way I do is because I had a supportive father hence I don’t understand.
We had a heavy argument this one time and I asked him sarcastically if he were to find out he had more kids would he do this to all of them which he answered and told me that even if he had 50 children he’ll split his time and money amongst each of those kids and not even a craze wife will stop him. He said it just like that, I felt so worthless and unimportant to him. He thinks I want him to not care for his son which is not it, I want him to show as much dedication to the girls as he does to his son and also involve me in the process, as his wife I want to part of everything that involves him. I feel so left out and I think my husband has unfinished business with Tido’s mother hence his acting like this and I can’t shake off the feeling that he loved her and directly or indirectly Tido is great link to her, becz I remember 13 months ago when we found out about Tido, it was a shock but even though he never said it, I could sense he was happy or maybe I am just thinking too much into it but how can I not when my husband is living a double life, like how many married men do you know that transport their ‘other’ kids to school every freaking morning??!….please help me, am so devastated