I hate violence. It has never achieved anything for anyone and will never be the final solution. Lately it seems though I had in innate anger within me that was bursting at the seams. My sister had made a very bad joke which really was uncalled for and cold. The dear that. Had gone through me when she said my mother had had a stroke was so strong even now I was in a state of panic. The fact that my mother had said nothing to stop the fight shows that she too knew that my sister had been way it of order. Mich as this hurt this did not even compare to the pain I felt when she called Amo a bastard! People will not always remember what you said or did to them but they will always remember how you made them feel and for me this moment no matter what will be until the end of time. She had made me feel so cheap and in adequate. in history a bastard was a child born with no father to a woman who immediately became called a whore because she could not keep her legs shut and wait for a man to wed her. In some countries in the Middle East, Pakistan and parts of Nigeria and India women like me a stoned to death alongside their bastard for this. Being a single mother, only now, because we are so many has now become morally acceptable but even then, it is still considered shameful by many families and churches. My sister therefore calling my son that was not a trivial thing, she had stabbed me in the heart, reminding me of the betrayal by Mudenda all over again! Some things you really just don’t say no matter how angry you. It’s like telling a woman who was raped in a fight that,
“That why you got raped, you deserved it!”
That you can never take back. My sister had always been an ass and a bully but considering how much she had changed lately this I had not expected nor prepared myself for. I had let down my guard and softened towards her, my mistake!
Aurelia told me to calm down and my mother handed my bastard over to me. She told me that my sister was crazy I mist think nothing of it. I could see she was trying to hide her anger because when she tried to smile, the edges of her mouth just twitched and a full. Smile wouldn’t come out. It’s ok though. Aurelia then came and sat next to me as mother stood up to go look for her favorite daughter! I asked Aurelia to hold Amo for a few minutes I just needed some air. She agreed and I went outside. I needed to be alone to cry and I could barely hold back the tears. I wished I could scream it out as they do on TV but I could not. The tears though, it was like someone or something in side of me had died! A joke is a joke but putting an Arrive Alive sticker in a hearse is not funny! That was the point. A line had been crossed and even if she came back and said she had said it out of anger I would never forgive her for that. Words hurt more than fists which is why women especially when we fight, it is words we use to bring down an enemy and boy oh boy we know how to hold a grudge.
Five minutes later I went back inside and I heard my mother arguing with my sister for probably the first time in my life. She was shouting saying what she had said to me about her being sick was wrong and cruel. My sister started defending herself again saying that ever since I became a mother I thought I was so important. She was still my older sister and I was a child compared to her so I had no right to lay my hands on her! I am not sure what she expected me to do, smile and agree that she was a budding Trevor Noah? I am not sure really. My mothers voice kept on rising and rising until at some point she asserted her dominance. It was actually embarrassing now for me now that Aurelia was here to hear all this. I could not say go away because she had come with me whilst she had not seen it fit to say she had to go. Eish, at times people must read the situation. When you visit a person’s home and people starting arguing, you say bye and you leave. It’s only polite. Oh well it was too late now. She asked me if I was ok and I told her that I will live. She did not mention what my sister had done but I am certain by my reaction it was quite clear. I was embarrassed honestly on my sisters behalf. What a stupid girl!
There was a knock at the door, o crap! I had forgotten that Tidimalo had said he was coming. He definitely was not allowed to hear my mother cursing and swearing like that.
“Faith what’s wrong? What happened to your mom? I am so sorry!”
He said as soon as he walked in. Before I could even explain he pulled me into his arms and hugged. I could not even remember the last time I had been hugged by a man affectionately and I just sank into his warmth. He smelled good and his body squished into mine I just felt at home. No wonder why girls don’t like being single for long because usually having a man hold you and tell you that everything will be ok is better than all those lonely cold nights no matter what we tell ourselves in our feats of feminism!
“My sister lied Tidi, how could she do that? She lied just to get me to come home!”
I told him. He pushed me off him and said he did not understand. What was I talking about. I started to explain the situation and before I even got far in walked my mother. She had met him before, never liked him but which mother would. He greeted her and she greeted back. She said she needed some air and was going to take a drive. She will be back. I could see she was still angry but I was powerless to stop. Driving like this was not advisable.
Left alone Tidimalo greeted Aurelia and hugged her too but not as long as my hug. The jealousy that went through me though. I looked to see if there were any signs of deceit from them to me because I still suspected that something happened between them but nothing. He hardly spoke to her and spoke to me most of the time. Even when she spoke he was friendly but no particularly warm towards her. Evil as it might sound but this actually made me so happy inside.
Amo was crying now she needed to be fed. I announced this to everyone and Tidimalo said it was time for him to leave. I heard my mothers car come back and only now did Aurelia also say she had to go. She said it was family time and them being here at this moment would be an imposition! Wow, really! It’s very easy to make another girl suspicious because she was acting dodgy.
“I think it’s time you found yourself a place to stay! You don’t cook, clean, contribute and clearly don’t want to find a job! I can’t handle!”
She said to her.
This was serious moes!
My sister was stunned!
I was stunned!
Amo was giggling!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you for reading. I am a nurse (male) at Bara. We have been married for three years and are both 28 this year. I found out last week that my wife has been sleeping with a sugardaddy. She has a 55year old doctor from here that she has been cheating with. Last week her phone was freezing and I had to take it for fixing for her as she could not. However on my way there it switched on and that’s when I saw the messages. I have never been the type of husband to go through her phone but the phone came on and as it went on a message came in saying,
“I miss you baby!”
Obviously I looked and the entire chat history was there. I am not the perfect husband but I don’t drink, cheat nor beat my wife. I am never late and she has everything she needs I can afford. She met him when she came to visit me at work and he gave her a lift. I am destroyed. I don’t know what to do! There are men like me who love with everything that they have. I even thought of killing her and then myself but that’s stupid I know. I have not confronted her about it yet because I don’t even know where to start.
Please advise me, what should I do? We have a two year old by the way. My wife just got a job in retail a month or so ago.