Rumblings – Chapter Fifty Four

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

There is no need for false modesty because we all know that men know how to play with our buttons. It’s like when he wants to have sex but you don’t want to then he starts off by saying, baby, just the tip! All girls know this line. He will beg you until you get annoyed, then he brings out the puppy eyes! He will promise you everything under the moon until you allow ‘just the tip’ in and that’s that! Every girl will tell you this, her ex when they started dating and for most of the relationship actually, was the smartest person she knew. Any question, he had an answer! All men are like that and Mudenda was no different! The way I used to value his opinion and to a certain extent I even started doubting my own opinions because he had the final say. When you look back, we all do in fact as women, we feel kind of dumb because we are probably smarter than he is. Here is the kicker, your current boyfriend is the genius now! It’s like we never learn! Part of me did not blame Meladi because I had gone through all that, his attention was intoxicating, his words were like poetry to my heart, his touch electric and all of the above. Now that it’s over, he is just a full of shit and sells dreams.

My sister was not talking to me and I really needed her back on my side! On my own I could never wish to control Amo. I had a job I needed to attend and my mom will be at work meaning I would have no one to stay with him. I went and knocked on her door and I asked if I could come in. She was reluctant at first but eventually allowed me in. She was lying on her bed crying. For many people the thought of going to school is a good thing but clearly for my sister it was nothing but torture. I had not come in here though to shout but to make peace.

“We can’t be fighting like this come on Judith!”

I started when I entered. She turned over to face the other wall but did not say anything.

“I am sorry I hit you. I was just so mad. You scared me shitless with what you said about mom. It was cold and insensitive of you!”

I explained. I needed her to understand that come what may what she had said was wrong and she should never joke with something like that. She clearly did not see what I saw that’s why it was not sitting with her.

“It was a joke Faith. Come on! Get over it! Why would I wish mom dead? Now she is angry at me for it because your reaction made her that way. She will not forgive me anytime soon and now she sending me away!”

My sister protested.

“Judith you are my sister and I love but mom is right. You need a qualification because doing it alone would be too expensive. You need this! Yes it might not be on your terms but you get a job and move to the UK!”

I told her. Her eyes widened when I said the UK.

“Why would I be going there? To do what?”

My sister was as ignorant as they come. You know how people say South Africans are the Americans of Africa when it comes to being clueless, well they are right. Just a few days ago I was watching Big Brother and they had a simple task of putting towns andd provinces on a blank South African map! They mostly got it wrong. Imagine putting Rustenburg in the Free State! Harrismith in Western Cape! Nelspruit in Northern Cape etc. So no I am not surprised at all that my sister did not lnow that she had more to life’s options than what she thought.

“Yes Judith, a lot of South Africans end up in the UK as nurses. Imagine if you were a doctor mmmm then you could end up anywhere in the world!”

I was winning.

“I am sorry I called Amo a bastard! I just lost it and it came out. You know I love him senseless!”

She said eventually saying something. I told her that we needed to make a plan because mom could not send her away. The family would not function if she did but she was more interested in hearing about her options overseas. It’s weird how we think life is so much better outside but who cares.

“I think our plan is that you need to convince mom that you desperately want to do nursing. Tomorrow you must show her all the nursing schools in Johannesburg that you want to attend. Let her think it’s now your idea. She will come around!”

She was sceptical at first but I could see she had bought the idea. I am sure all she would see right now when she closed her eyes was the Queen of England but who cares.

“What about Xenophobia? I am not comfortable about being a foreigner! What if they do what we do here?”

I had the liberty to go to university meaning I was exposed to so many foreign students. Never had a problem with any and had quite a few at hostel I called friends. It was shameful really this episode in our life and now because of our behavior we were now scared of visiting other countries!

“It won’t happen to you silly! Come on now. Those countries are civilized, we on the other hand, have so much to learn!”

I could see the fear in her eyes so I changed topics. There was a knock on the door. It was a man I had never seen before.

“Oh Fuck!”

My sister said when she looked at him!

“Oh fuck! Mom!”

She screamed! What the hell? What was the fuss about? My mother came running to the room.

She literally stumbled when she saw whom it was,


Wait a minute, I know that name, no not the soccer pundit with open letters, Robert…

That was my father’s name!

My absent father!

*****The End******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike & the readers

I’m a 30 year old lady. I’ll get straight to it. I’ve dated my high-school sweetheart for about 5 years & he was wonderful & great when we started until later in the relationship things turned South. I decided to end the relationship because I wanted to re-define myself. I didn’t like what I was becoming. The relationship was very toxic[In a lack of a better term]

Right after 9months I then had a relationship with a wonderful guy. Very caring/matured/Ambitious to say the least & I thought this was it for me. Well after almost a year in a relationship I discovered he was still in contact with his ex & they have a child together. That crushed me. I didn’t understand why he never told me about his child. Oh ya did I mention I don’t have a kid yet. Not that it has anything to do with the decision I made which was me breaking up with him. As challenging as it was I wished him well & decided to use the time I had to make myself a better person for me & the man that deserves me.

I made that decision 3years ago. I’m currently working & studying[Part-time] The problem is my mother & my family are always telling me to get a man ‘Its going to be tough for you to have the one,The clock is ticking. Most men in your age have kids you will be a step mom’ My mom would say. Not that I mind being a step mom but she’d tease me.

Yes I have to admit its been almost 3years now I haven’t had a man in my life & on top of me. Its a bit of a taboo situation to mention around my friends. When I’m with the girls talking about boyfriend[s] I always say I have a boyfriend just to be in the same page for that moment

Look I drool every now & then when I see a handsome-eye candy but that’s just it nothing more. My question is should I be worried? Most of my friends are married,engaged & some have kids. Not that I compare myself according to their ‘progress’

I feel like I’m fine & I’d rather wait it out but my family thinks I’m wasting my time. Am I?

Sorry for writing a book & a half.


32 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter Fifty Four

  1. I doubt Judith will make a good nurse. Imagine her at your bedside! Honey do you! Remember all those people who are married with kids cannot afford to regret and start again. You have in your hands the chance to make your life what you want and choose. Its old-fashioned to assume that you will be an old maid because of your age. You still have lots of time. And if you encounter men who don’t find you appealing because of your age, then date outside your race. My aunt married very late. In her 40s to be exact but she found her soulmate and her equal in an American man. Don’t be swayed by people who tell you how to run your life, but they probably couldn’t finish their dreams or marry someone else because they had an imaginary ticking clock behind them

  2. Q-A. Lady, it is okay to b single and enjoy yo space n fantasize nw and then… But u r 30… N yes the clock is ticking… Perhaps u should cut some of the stuff in the list ur expectations in a man’ somehow I think u r a perfectionist’ and u r those smart ladies who are really careful abt wt they take… Honestly its a good thing, bt wen it comes to love’ u must cut some few things, there was nothing wrong wth a guy who had a baby, keeping contact wth baby mama jst showed that he ws responsible, I’m not saying settle for less completely, bt dnt let love pass u by waiting for Mr perfect–he is not there. Good luck.

  3. thank you.

    Q&A congrats my dear sister for sticking to celibacy -sp. that is keeping Holy for the man who will love and cherish as a wife,
    – wait upon the Lord and continue keeping those legs closed.
    -if you happen to date indicate to the man that you will only sleep with him after the wedding , if he’s serious he’l wait and date you still if not he’ll pass.
    – i love sisters that keep themselves clean.
    – take it from me my dear im also on yr 3 well i do have kids but got tired of liars and eventually you enjoy being single as it is.

    you made my day.

    thank you and keep it up.

    Nongo @BW

  4. Thanks Mikeesto, welcome back Team.

    A2Q a 72year old recently got married, for the first time. So if time is ticking, then you have about 40 years to ensure it doesn’t run out. Its almost winter shem yaz, but ke you’ve been missing those winter sessions for two seasons already so itswayi yinto yakho vele. Uzoba strong sweety, I’m sure there is some Gigolo’s in your part of town too… Getting a Man is next to impossible, between all these faggots,sisis,mama’s babies, cheats, frauds, convicts and murderers. You should be happy none of that drama is in your life.


  5. Hey guess whose back..its me an Robert lol

    all i heard is that you havent been laid in 3years… well if you cool with not having a man dont let anyone pressure you into dating, concentrate on your studies and work. Love will find you, dont shy away from man,we are good for you health. a toy can only do so much.

  6. Thanks for the daily dose.
    Q&A Sweety you’re so fabulous to stress, your family and community pressure won’t raise the baby. I’m 29 with everything except man and kids and the pressure get to me sometimes.
    Wait upon the Lord for your soul mate and don’t loose your focus because of pressure and end up being desperate and taking any guy just to fit in. I console myself that not everyone would get married. When time is right God will send him your way. You can start by dating and don’t get into relationship with expectations. I also have a friend who’s 36 still single and no kids.

    Enjoy every minute in life and stop stressing. I sat my mom down and explained that I won’t settle for the sake of settling, I’m not desperate. Talk to your mother make her see things your way.

    If you need to talk Mr Maphoto will give you my email address

    1. At least I aint alone. I also don’t have kids and the last time I saw a man naked was 15 months ago. Some days are bad but I have very good friends (male friends) whom are forever there. Gods delay is definitely not his denial. Our time is coming. Modimo wa araba and di blessings tsa rena ditseleng.

  7. Sheeee! drama! drama! drama! masibone uba uza nantoni uRobert! waze wakude Thursday! thank you Mnumzana Maphoto and team
    Q&A do not let the pressure get to you coz when that baby they so ‘want’ comes it’s going to be YOUR baby and YOURS ALONE oh well if the baby daddy is there it will be a bonus. I think that you were hasty though you should have at least spoken to him to find out the reasons for not telling you about the child even though i also find it weird in this day and age that people still hide these precious souls. Do not rush into such things focus on your goals and the right man will find you living your life not “waiting for him” and if he is meant to be yours he’ll just have to catch up with you. All the best.

    @Jackzorro – bhuti you’ve made my day.

  8. The”wait upon the lord” people though lmao ,angihleki njalo dont come for am just lmao ya ne!

    njengoba sebeshilo sisi wait upon the lord,i ve also been single and celible for 2years 6 months .but am not waiting upon the lord am just still getting over my almost marriage and raising my 2 year old son without any relationship drama on the side and the way its so comfortable i think i may never need a man, so sisi what am saying is theres ntg wrong with you and family & friends will always pressure you with these things but when things go south no one is there to help you with anything u on ur own ,so take your time and forget what everyone is saying and focus on what u want.

  9. Thanks Mr Maphoto Soke sizwe uphumaphi U Rob

    Q&A, Big up yourself, im proud of you, you are doing very well, you have little drama in your life, Do not succumb to the pressure you are getting from your family,this is your life, if you are happy with the way you run it its okay, it is better to regret your own decisions than trying to make other people happy, some decisions we make in life cannot be corrected they change our lives for good. so take yout sweet time Dear. your hapiness and peace of mind is more important.

  10. Q-A

    Society has made it that if you are a certain age and you not married, something is wrong with you.

    There is nothing wrong with you. Enjoy being single. Do all the things you wanna do, travel if you have to, do you. When you are married with kids you won’t have these luxuries.

    This past weekend, I spoke to a lady who wished she could go back and do things differently.

    The marriage world is not as rosy as it seems. So do enjoy you singleness. And when the time is right, you will get married.

    And big ups on being celibate. It’s good to know there are people out there who aren’t pressured into sex because of loneliness. I applaud you for that my sister.

    I hope you take courage in knowing that there are a whole lot more people out there like you out there who aren’t willing to settle for less.

  11. Q&A, mina my dear I’m not gonna lie to you, I’ll be very frank with u plus u are my age group,ur Mom is right, the worst scenario would be having to mother another woman’s child when u can’t have ur own..typical exp, I’m only 31 and already loosing my menstrual circle and the Dr comfirmed tht this is it! Glad I’ve had my 2 btfl angels earlier and I’m trying for 3rd…yes u can marry at 40 but if u want ur own natural kids, I suggest u start now…

  12. A2Q: Yes, with time it gets more and more difficult to find a suitable partner. But since indoda ingakhiwa esihlahleni bathi itholephi? I’m 35 and would also like to know ukuthi acoshwa kuphi amadoda. Don’t allow yourself to be pressured by this. But do keep an open mind, cos a man is not gonna come gift-wrapped with ur name on top.

  13. I don’t always comment but this is closer to home, I’m 31 single but I have a daughter, I’m loving it tho I miss being in a relationship sometimes but it’s less stress n more time with my baby. Can the prince come hle we waiting lol.

  14. Ta Adv Cmndr Maphoto.
    Q&A: Did I hear U corectly JackZorro, a 72yr OLD makoti? Do W still say new makoti or new granny in d family? LOL.
    All facts considered CC U need 2 check both sides of D coin. Don’t concentrate on heads or tails only. I mean give some guys a chance, siyazama, most guys really try hard but myb jst myb yo pass mark on yo check list is mo than our Matric pass mark. Like above 50% on all checks!
    Reminds M of a cartoon wth skeletons of 4women who died playing cards while waiting 4 D perfect man. He DOESN’T exist. On some failures, give a guy “suplimentary” exam. Meet ppl.

    If the guy rushes 4 yo forbidden fruit then let them know its 4 after putting the ring on yo finger. Some1 who is serious enough will wait.
    I think most girls & guys put 2 much emphasis on beauty. Beauty is not equal 2 brains but Im not saying get any1. U don’t want some1 U will B shy 2B seen with in public.
    If it happens it happens! Good luck CC – PapaG.

  15. Hello anon, am kinda in the same situation but am 23 and this will be my 4th year single. I go on dates and stuff but I haven’t met “my man”.

    I don’t want Mr Perfect or Mr Right, I want “Mr Right for me”. My friends and family always tell me to ‘get off my high horse otherwise I’ll wakeup one day as a 30yr old single with no man”.

    The only advise I have for you is take your time and do succumb to any pressure from anyone.I totally know what it means to be single and happy and I always tell myself that if it happens than am willing to wait 30 years but am not gonna settle. I know we living in a world where dating is all over so I can imagine why the family is acting the way they are but sukoyika yiba nguwe.

  16. m sorry but I think this Jackzorro guy is simply stupid, angaz y nimthanda kangaka leslima somfana nxa..wouldn’t be suprised if kthiwa he is 15, he is an insensitive idiot.

  17. This also hit close to home..seems like they are a lot of us in the same boat ladies. I’m 30 with a 4year old daughter and I’ve been single for since I was pregnant with her. I haven’t been celibate though..its not easy. This Mr Right is he coming on a boat?? Lol.

  18. I am happy to see that I am not the only 30year old single woman who has been keeping herself Holy…… Sistaz….. others may laugh at the statement “wait in the Lord” but its a fact. What is the use of a guy humping and pumping you only to get married to someone else….. We always want things to happen at our own time and place but we forget that we do not own that time although we own lots of watches…..As much as the Most High has provided for each and every married couple, we must always have faith that He will definitely provide for us…..

    People will always pressure you to get married but they will never be available when you have problems….. So please wait until God provides you with a right man for you. At the end of the day if we all say we die for the Lord then we must live for Him not for a man……

    That’s me and my two centnyana…..opinion….


  19. Q&A Sisi your family is being cruel & judgemental towards you, I mean you are progressive and independent. Why would you being single override all your achievements? Relationships do not define a person and I believe in this day and age it is a personal choice if you want to be tied in a relationship or not.

    Thank you Mike

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