Realities – Chapter Ten

I am laughing right now but I really should not. This girls beauty was beyond any words I have at my disposal. I looked at her and I looked at my husband, there was no resemblance whatsoever! Ain’t no way this child was his and I mean that. Her mother must have lied because the sperm in my husband cannot produce that. The man is useless. Simple as that. Now imagine what he would need to do and whom he would need to pray to to produce that. Women will not readily admit this to themselves, beautiful women intimidate us and we usually do not like them. Ever gone to the mall and seen a beautiful clearly expensively dressed woman and instinctively you found yourself frowning? Don’t lie, it happens a lot. You don’t like her for some reason but you don’t even know her and you meeting her for the first time! That’s us! I am ashamed however to admit that I could not help compare my daughter to her! I don’t think it’s crazy because it’s only natural to wish that my daughter looked like that! At work, the beautiful nurses get less work from the male doctors. It’s incredible really. In all my life I witnessed that beautiful girls are first in line for most of the good things. Even in marriage! Look at all expensive cars that drive past and are driven by younger women, you can see that most of them look like they came out of a catalogue and the men on their arms are not going to be added to the social welfare list any time soon. I am talking about married women mind you. Other women are quick to call them gold diggers forgetting that made the broke ass men are too intimidated to approach them hence why they end up with these guys. Yah neh! Nelisa I had no doubt in me that she was headed that route!

I think my husband thought I was going to jump the poor girl because he stood in front of her as soon as she entered. It was actually a bit funny. She was not my enemy but that did not mean I had to like her.

“Honey, I would like to see her please you are standing in front of her!”

I said sweetly. I never called my husband honey to be honest, only when we had guests or were in public. We had log said calling each other by name at such occasions was a bit impolite.

“Oh sorry, again I introduce this is Nelisa and Nelisa, my wife and daughter, Dintle!”

This was the second time we were doing this was it not. He was nervous I get it but now he was just acting like a wreak.


She said to me politely. I could hear the fear in her voice as she said that. I wouldn’t blame her! I had the same fear in me plus hatred and maybe jealousy.

“Welcome welcome! I didn’t think you would come wow, Lintle come closer this is Nelisa your…”

I stuttered,

“Your sister!”

The lump in my throat as I said that. It just did not sound right. Ok maybe this was not well thought out when I demanded to see her. Ah me also, now hard truths had to be faced. Why do men put us in such positions though? Imagine living happily then he just shows with a child and tells you its his you must take care of it. Fine in this case it was not the same but it was not too different. I had just become a statistic, yet another woman forced to confront the demons of her husband. This was embarrassing.

“Mom you are embarrassing the poor girl!”

Lintle said and went over to hug her.

“Don’t mind my mom, she freaks me out too when she does not know what to say!”

She said. She had embraced a total stranger! These are the kids that go find lost brothers and sisters on Facebook! No brakes whatsover! I knew my daughter was outspoken when need be but I think I had not expected her to be so welcoming. She was a typical brat and I thought she would have been more selfish with her dad and not want to share him.

“I am your little sister! I have always wanted siblings but my parents are too busy working to raise another!”

She laughed a bit hesitantly but my daughter made her feel welcome. This was going better than I had hoped but I was going to play along until I knew what exactly was going on between her mother and my husband. How long had they been in touch for especially? He had made it seem like it happened out of the blue and I did not believe him. Men think they are so clever that’s the problem. They always think we women cant see through the cracks and his story just did not sit right.

“I am sorry to barge in like this, I am not even sure what to say…”

She said opening her mouth finally and this time she switched to English. Guess my daughter showed her this was not Bloemfontein. My husband was the most confused person in the house! He was not sure why I was being so nice clearly and it was because I was so cold towards him.

“No feel at home. Your father lives here so it’s your home too!”

I said totally lying. Sounded nice for her though I am sure. I was being sarcastic and my husband so right through it. He gave me a glare as I turned away. I was not going to entertain him.

“So where are you studying? University? Grade? Tell me everything about you I am so curious please!”

I asked her. She mentioned some school that I did not know off but I was not that interested. I asked her about her parents and she seemed rather defensive. From what I gathered they were happily married in Bloemfontein which for me was a good thing because there was no chance my husband still wanted her. At some point her phone rang and she said it was her friend Rodney calling probably to check how things were going. She said she would call him later though. It was a bit awkward but I guess Rodney would just have to understand. Immediately Lintle complained that she did not have a phone and I told her she knew why.

“Does your mom ever hit you Nelisa?”

Lintle asked her when she got back from her call. I was so embarrassed! Did you know that hitting your child is now something you consider embarrassing and people should not know about? You sound like a bad parent!

“I have only been hit once so I would say no!”

She replied Lintle!

“Lintle you are out of order!”

Her father intervened!

“What has gotten into you?”

He continued!

“I am only getting to know my new sister so that I can see what we have in common! Besides, you said in this house only the truth is spoken!”

She retorted! What the hell was up with this child.

“Yes we speak the truth but don’t cause problems please.”

She rolled her eyes then turned to look me in the eye as she said,

“In the spirit of honesty, Daddy tell mom how I caught you kissing Mrs Dlamini who used to live next door!”

Say what?

*****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear. Mike

Hello Guys, I’m hiv + in my 30’s I find out when I was pregnant with my dota she is 7years old now. I don’t know who infected me in my 3 past Ex’s including my dota’s father. The problem I’m facing when I’m dating the new guy I tried 2 cum clean about my status and they dump me slowly but surely** I feel lonely I need a partner and its very difficult to find 1 regarding the condition I have. Sometimes I wish if I can meet someone who’s in that same condition as I am but is also impossible**plz advise guys how can I find a partner who won’t b scared about my hiv status?

55 thoughts on “Realities – Chapter Ten

  1. So that time when Nelisa was belt whipped in front of her teachers, was her first time being beaten?! She is still with Rodney and what happened to her pregnancy?! Thanks for the Intersections Mike

  2. Thank U honourable Maphoto! An early dose wooow. Mmmhhhh Nelisa just answer her call in front of her new pararents Yerrrrrrr. This 3 daughters hv sumthing common

  3. thanx mike. I feel sorry for umama ka dintle shyme, if u nelisa ezalwa yilobaba, kshuthi u nozipho naye usazoza la kubo. I wonder ukuthi uzothi yena wavela kanjani.. Umama dokotela usazo fainter shyme ngoba kusanomunye umntwana ozovela owu nozipho if ngikhumbula kahle from i confession. Tjo kusazoshuba la…

  4. Dumela bathong hleng,hooo eeee ngwana o ke spoil brat ga mannete maan!tanki Mike.
    Lonely,they wre nt meant to b,ull fine the rite 1 who will loves u with +,as o kgona go bua ka status sa gago,cnt u do it b4 things get heated,a dule a itsi or a fete,,

  5. Its so sad that this day and age people are still scared of HIV. I guess as time goes you will find your perfect love, who will love you unconditionally.

    Going back and trying to find closure is not always a good idea, so dont dwell too much on who might have infected you in the past. Just let all 3 guys know about your status & they will take it from there. You already know your status & I assume you are taking care of yourself.

  6. ThnkQ Mikey n team great read indeed,,,Lonely cc wami GOD will send a gud man 4 u just keep praying n i’ll keep u in my prayer. GOD bless.xXx

  7. This Lintle kid is just out of order, but like her mom said she’s a spoilt brat. Dats what u get for raising ur kids more western without thorough discipline.

  8. can we see how beautiful this Nelisa is, picture please mike.

    Q&A sisi stop feeling sorry about your status, disclose upfront and condomise. actually whats your question? do you want advise on how to keep a man or u want advise on your status. DR Nene claims he can change some1s status from + to negative, bt we all knw thts crap. Just leave healthy and love will find you.

    Friends i also have a Q& so depressed, marriege life is not treating me well *crying*

  9. Thanks Mike.

    Q&A: I’m in the same situation right now but I believe we will find people to love us in time just hang in there dear.

  10. Morning guys,thanks mike

    @Ntoza I think “N” in zulugirlgo2jozi was pregnant,in confession she want pregnant yet,but u can go check nam angisakhumbuli kahle

  11. Lintle is a little… Let me reserve my comment for another day. Thanks Mikeesto, Nelisa hmmmm!

    Lonely, daughter is not spelled dota, you can write properly, why you gotta mess it up pha na pha. Anyway your irresponsibility is the reason you are in this situation, you don’t even know who infected you?? And then you want us to line up a man for you cause you can’t keep one?! Be real sisi, you don’t need a Man, you need to grow up and take care of your ‘dota’

    Ndoda Enemali, send your QNA to Mike bruh, maybe we can help,crying alone won’t make it better. Qina ndoda.


    1. Dota…lol andihleki

      Jackzorro for now il rather cry on my own, ive already made my decision to fix things. so my mandate is very clear comrade.

    2. @ Jackzorro, you were unnecessary cruel! I don’t think you have to answer every QNA. If you do not have properly thought out advice then don’t be mean for the sake of being mean. Just because she doesn’t know who infected her it doesn’t mean she was irresponsible. What if she got infected during the time of stigma, when not everyone was strong enough to go for an HIV test every month?!Love is complex and we all make mistakes of trusting when we think we are in love. but then again what if it wasn’t a sexual infection?
      And writing in english is not so easy, some of us act so fresh but our english world would fall apart if we didn’t have spell check and autocorrect. Even Mike has made a lot of grammatical and spelling errors, but no one has pointed it out because that not the point!

      So lets give advice without being mean. Yes some letters call for tough love, and that can be done in a tasteful way without being cruel and hurtful.

      QNA: Sisi hang in there you will find your one in time. For now concentrate on your daughter and making sure that she is protected and learns from your mistakes.

    3. @Jackzorro, I m sure you just graduated into your teens cos you definitely sound like a child and your line of thought is that of a child. This blog was mainly created to help people and idiots like yourself are trying to ruin that good spirit, if you have nothing constructive rather shut up and play with yourself!! For all we know you are the most uneducated uncivilized person on this blog, please pay attention in class and stop reading blogs.
      @Lonely, life doesn’t stop when you become positive, as other people have said you need to concentrate on your daughter and make sure you educate her about your situation. You need to forgive yourself about the past and have always have the most positive attitude towards life and I can certainly guarantee that the right guy will come your way.
      Don’t be desperate for love and companionship, at the right it will come. So many people are happily married and enjoying life despite being positive.
      good luck in your journey.

  12. Thanks Mike… Nelisa welcome back sisi.hope this time you won’t be too dramatic.

    Jackzorro I don’t think her problem right now is her status or how she got there. I think she’s worried about the fact that men only leave her after disclosing her status to them. That right there is being responsible but these guys aint making it easy for her. We also can’t blame the guys for leaving because they have a right to choose what they think they deserve. Lonely need to know why she disclose. Firstly not to base relationship on lies and secondly for protection, both yours and your loved one. You don’t do it for pit. That’s why you need to expect anything. if he leaves than he’s not yet the one.Atleast you left with clean conscious that you were open to him and he made an informed decision. keeping them is not up to you . Goodluck Lonely maybe one day you’ll find someone who will accept you for who you are.

  13. Dankie Adv Maphoto
    A2Q from the word go jst disclose dnt wait for weeks to pass by. Eg ” sawubona sisi waze wamuhle can I have your number” Your reply should be “I don’t thnk its a good idea bhuti coz m Hiv+ ” if he really want he will persuade u. If he says ohw sheet! Then u knw ohw sheet.

    Lo ngumbono wam

    1. ndivumelana nawe Siya.. dont wait for weeek disclose upfront not neccesarry when someone ask for your number but once you see and he makes it known that he is interested. ofcos no need to say if you dont want the person you just reject them as normal. uzoba grand vha as long u sexy thina amajita sizo plita lol

  14. Lonely the only way we can advise u on this is to put yourself out there, meet people, get to know them before u get into exclusive relationships with them, I commend u on disclosing your status to them, not everyone has the guts to do that. Finding the “right” guy is not easy, HIV+ or not.

  15. I know we’re all entitled to our opinions but it doesn’t mean that we should think with our asses first, some advice on this blog is total bullshit

  16. @ Jackzorro, I dont usually comment in these diaries and letters asking for help, yazi Jackzorro xa ungenanto yothetha eyakhayo nephucukileyo, just shut the hell up, awuzophuma niks, and u r fast becoming a nuisance and a pain in the ass, sooner or later u going 2 fall out of favour with the very same ppl who clapping hands for u.

  17. Lol but who’s this jackzororo? what’s so special about him/her cos every time i read her comments are rude….gosh u sound gay n are irritating. ….Q &A coming clean up front is the best way n safer for the other party so keep it up eventually u will find someone who wil luv u regardless

  18. Here we go again..Jackzorro syamazi unjan y kmele silokhu sirepremanda yena in the end we divert from the issue at hand which is giving the Lady advice……wena girl rather use this time to focus on yourself n pray to father Almighty if it is destined Mr.Right zofika ungajahi perfection takes time n akukho okuhlula our God

  19. You need to bring back Thandeka, I see that Nelisa is back with her long lost father…

    Good stories Mike

  20. Clearly Jackzorro is allergic to HIV+ women cos he always feels the need not advise but insult them. Any man who has the audacity to insult a woman, has serious issues. In future bhuti please please I beg you to keep your insults to yourself. People put themselves out there because they need advise not insults and don’t you dare claim that this was constructive critic/advise because there is absolutely nothing constructive about your. You are so ignorant that you don’t even realize that there are so many ways one could get infected. In your mind anyone who is HIV+ is sleeping around. Ay in this day and age uma kusanabantu abacabanga njengawe then I can safely say we are nowhere near winning the fight against this deadly virus.

  21. Haibo @kay what’s being gay have to do with anything? How do gay people sound vele? Please don’t bring sexuality apha

  22. Sengiyafisa ukubona u Nelisa wonke umuntu ukhala ngobuhle bakhe I remember the first time Thandeka met her naye she praised her for ubuhle bakhe

  23. Ngiyabonga kakhulu ngezeluleko nibusiseke*Thank you so much with your advices much appriciate* ningixolele nge bad grammar ne spelling but I’m sure u had wht I was trying 2 say* awuuu lokutheleleka kwenzaka ngisemncane guys and. Nakhona kwakungakhona kuhambe ngilala ukungazi kwami kuthi ubani owangithelel kule 3 ngoba ngangiphuma ebudlelwaneni babo ngoba be cheat. Nemfundiso yayingakabibikho kahle mayelana naleligciwane* sengakwamukela*ningixolele kwabangasezwa ngithini sengisaba kubhala ngesilungu *GOD BLESS YOU ALL

  24. Q n A, go to an HIV support group, maybe being with someone who is in the same condition will help. But keep trying sisi. Love is hard to find even if you don’t have HIV I can only imagine how you feel. Be strong

  25. Dankie mike!

    Yerr sies mahn zoe le jackzorro halena botho mahn sies….zoe everyone is againts what jackzorro says and then wena ore he’s always on point…..look at this way how would you feel if it was you seeking for advice and then some idiot like jackzorro abao araba toti? Haii sies think before you comment hleng!!!!!

    @lonely sisi only God knows the right man for you and he knows the right time, wena jus hang in there all shall be well…

  26. Ai mara bathong…(annoyed)
    Sello: naare, podi e ke ya mang ?
    Tebogo : e nwa metsi ko nokeng .

    All am trying illustrate to some of you here is , let everyone be entitled to his or her opinion, Jackzorro included. Guys, insulting Jackzorro and distorting the real issue here, will not benefit our fellow lonely sister. Some of you are failing go ba bo ‘sis dolly’ but good at twisting the focus.

    A2Q- sisi personally I have only 1 idea for you is ,Google sites where u will have people of ur attribute. maybe u might get real people who u know that u share the same sentiments regarding our status issue.

    1. Its becoming a boring norm bruh, some fickle creatures wait for just one to say mooh and they all follow. Note that not even one of them gave tangible advice, some were commenting for the first time, trying to shine and ish.

      Its so pathetic I’m not even bothered nomore. The insults or jokes they throw my way are epic, I’m a gay 18 year old in the closet LMAO!! That would make for killer stand up comedy. Yet not one actually pointed out where my flaw was in my letter reply, they took liberty in trying to discredit the only person who tells it like it is.

      1st point: that lady can write properly, has a good command of English, illustrated by her writing, so highlighting her mxit tendencies was not rude. 2nd Point: telling her what she knows, about her reckless behaviour was realistic, why look for a man when you can raise your child and wait for one to come to you?! And if he doesn’t, it won’t be the end of the world mos. Those were my points, and one person tried remprimanding me, and like sheep, many followed..#Sigh

  27. Ta Adv Cmndr Maphoto.

    Drama in the house again. “Umlilo” writers can take some story lines 4sho.
    Q&A: Lonely aka babie, this is real life & U have no control over others’ feelings & behavior. Even in this “Maphoto” house U can C others are rude, insensitive etc while others are kind, loving & the opposite; U know what I mean.
    Just keep walking in yo path & U wil l meet 1 who can understand yo status & can handle the whole package. Don’t shy away, socialize.
    By the way I also write “dota” 2save space not that I can’t spell daughter. Who can’t really spell these days with smartphones. Engrish is automatically our 2nd language. Writer & Written. Why do they start with “w” & why does the other have one “t” & the other double??? Ask the fundies.

    Walk tall Lonely/babie some1 will hug U & that hug will tell U something…… – PapaG.

  28. PS: Love yo “dota” to bits & do all in yo power to protect her from this “ugly” world so she doesn’t fall in the same traps as U. Trust but not too much. Leave room for disappointment.

  29. I must say it is quite shocking how people hate hearing the truth. Here is the reality we are all told in schools and by our parents or by anyone who cares enough to talk to us about life that a lot people are very cruel and selfish…we have become so accustomed to lying to ourselves that we never deal with what the facts of our situations are. Now Lonely Jackzorro is right about your behaviour being reckless/irresponsible not knowing who infected you. As much as this world is so dangerous I don’t understand why a lot of people do not get tested on a regular basis with your partner especially when you know for a fact you do not use condoms. I actually do not think he came off rude…This page is to help people but do not be mistaken it is also not to give false hope and theories that don’t work in practise. People also need to realize sometimes tough love is needed, whether we appreciate it or not. Lonely I can imagine your pain feeling rejected by men but best believe that you and your daughter are very important focus on you two first. Do not wait around for a man that might not even come at the same time do not lose hope in humanity entirely, because there are truly some men out there that are quite nice. Never dwell on things you cant control love.

  30. I swear some people read QNA then go look for Jackzorro’s comments just to criticize anything he writes, ako le iketleleng ngwana o mongwe tu!

  31. So for Nelisa is behaving, but uLintle to just go off like that was just too much, as if the mother didn’t have enough to worry about with the husband investigated for fraud and all hai.

    Thanks Team

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