God is a man! Did I say that out loud? Did I offend anyone? Good! Because it’s true! How does this sperm donor get to knock on my mothers door after all these years like he was a Jehovahs Witness, unannounced! Where was the shame or self respect and he did not look at all bothered! I should be more excited some might think but how could I be? Is this what men do? Is this it? Are these the people that are meant to love and protect us? Are these the animals that are meant to make sure that their children are meant to be dressed, sheltered and fed? Is this it? Is this what God wanted for us when he took us of a man’s rib as we are told! If it was so please Modimo, ke ya go rapela, ngyakucela, I am begging you with all that I have, take these shits back because Father with all due respect you failed dismally! How are these things made in your image really? Ask any woman, any, what a man has done to her and you will know why I am on my knees right now begging for this! These shits were not meant to be in this world! I looked at this complete stranger who was standing in front of me. I knew his name because like I said earlier, my mother had a sharp tongue and every time she would curse at me as a child his name would come up! Then there was my sisters reaction, I knew exactly who this stranger was. He was my father. We resembled vaguely but I could see me in him! I was so confused at this moment I even wanted to cry. I did not know my own father because when he left I was too young to remember. With the way my mother had held his name over me for so many years, with the way she had punished me for his sins I had hated him so much for all this year’s. I had a problem now though, I did not know who he was and I could not bring out that hate. I stepped back.
“20 years later Robert! 20 years later you fucken devil!”
In all my years I had never heard my mother swear! She was on the verge of bursting into tears but what I saw on her face was not just anger, it was pain and betrayal all wrapped in one! I kind of understood why she hated him through me all these years.
“Technically it’s not 20years!”
He said so casually with a grin on his face that showed nothing of the hurt he had caused. In American TV there is a line they often use of how he went to buy bread and never came back! Is that what he had done? It did not make sense and imagine the balls of this man to just waltz into my home and a crack a joke.
“Robert really? Really? Is that what you have to say? Which of these two is your daughter? Which one?”
At least you could do that? I dentify his child? Guess what, the idiot picked Judith.
“How can I not know my own flesh and blood?”
He said with a grin looking at her!
“Come here child, come greet your father!”
He said to her! Judith looked at him and coldly said,
“My father is dead. Faith, come meet your father!”
She said turning to me! He looked at me and there was recognition in him whatsoever! Nothing! Zero! He did not know me! Should I have gone looking for him on Khumbule’khaya maybe? Note, at this stage I had said absolutely nothing. I was so much in shock to move.
“I was just putting your leg, I know who my child is. It was too tense, had to crack a joke to lighten up the mood. You know me I like to joke! We even named her after my mother, Faith!”
He said turning to my mother. We both stood there incredulous. Was this man for real. My sister who was always quick to laugh in a tense situation this time showed the right emotion, shock.
“What do you want?”
My mother asked him. He still had not answered that part.
“I came to see my daughter and I see she is getting married, someone from my family has to be there! The ancestors will not be pleased at all!”
I wonder if things like this only happen in South Africa! I am not travelled I don’t know. Are all these dogs the same! He wanted money clearly because lobola goes to the father’s house! That’s why he had come.
“Who told you that?”
My mother asked him coldly.
“I bumped into one of your brothers and he was shouting at me for not being present. He is the one who gave me your address!”
He said with a smile.
“Child please fetch me some water! I walked from Bellair Mall to here, it’s far!”
Guess he did not have a car either! I went into the kitchen. My heart was so broken. Please don’t laugh but I am African like that. I don’t know what other families do but here to sterilize Amo’s bottles we boil them in a pot. My mother is the one who said it’s 100% full proof though often she complains about the elecricity!
“Wait here I want to show you something!”
I heard my mother say.
She went to her bedroom whilst my sister just stood there rude as she always was, arms folded and stared at that man. He did not seem to worry or care whom I was and how I got to be here. Maybe he was drunk I don’t know but who just waltzes in like this after all these years. He started making small talk to my sister.
I reached boiling point now! I turned around andd picked up the closest weapon I had, the pot of boiling water!
I got into the lounge with intention only, burn this man or die trying!
I walked in exactly the same time as my mom swung her tjambok so hard it whizzed through with a hissing sound and it caught him on his back with tip hitting his neck! He jumped so high I am sure God though his reject was coming home but that was not it,
In the same moment my mother swung I had already been in motion to throw my water, bottles and all in his direction. Had he not jumped I would have hit his head with it and thank God too for my mother!
It landed on his leg as he was midair after that lashing and he screamed and fell to the floor and did not move!
He did not move att all!
“O fuck you guys killed him!”
My sister screamed!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
I am 22 year old woman who met a wonderful man towards the end of 2013 and today I regret the day I met this man.
Things moved so fast by the 4th month had moved in with him and fell pregnant during the 6th month. One of my friend told my family that I was co-habiting with him and had to go home and miss a whole year of varsity. He had two kids from a previous relationship he hadn’t seen for almost two years. Anyways, now I realize he is just a bank but will never be there for my son. He just changed into something that I do not know. He went to his brother wedding as a best man and came back with the maid of honor. During all that time he was ill treating me and cheated then requested for a break as if its my fault.
I crashed and destroyed everything of his then called him to come with the cops because the way I was so angry he would have killed me. I doubt we will ever even see each other. I’ve made so many mistakes in my life and don’t trust anyone anymore because I’ve been sexually abused before and now have to be a single mother but as much as it hurts my son first priority.
I would like advice on how do I move on from this? How do I forget about this man who I gave my last innocence to? How do I go on from here because it hurts so much and feel like ill never meet a man who will accept that I have a son?