It had never actually struck me what would happen should Mudenda suddenly have a change of heart and want to be part of my son’s life. Well as single mothers we cannot allow ourselves to have such fantasies. Men disappoint you especially those that put their dicks first. This could mean he would want me to allow visitation rights as well want Amo to go stay at his house for some weekends. Eh, this is definitely not what I wanted. I had not thought that far because in my head all I wanted was for him to send money and stay far away from my baby. Besides, after his fiance had wished my child death why on earth would I allow her near my baby? I was so troubled by this.
“This is such good news Faith because it means that Amo will have a bigger family not just us!”
My mother said when she caught me lost in my thoughts about an hour later. I had lost all focus that she had even taken over the cooking. I am not sure that I can ever fully understand this woman. Now she was talking about us sharing my baby? Hell no! I just wanted him to pay and stay away from my child. His fiance had already made all those threats so why would I be so eager to do this. I told my mother about the conversation I had had with Meladi and she was quite stunned by it all. She even sat down for a moment.
“I think she was just angry when she said that but we must bring it up when they come. She can’t get away with making such threats!”
My mother said. She was not done though,
“Faith this works in your favour in so many ways. She is pregnant herself meaning that how will he ever ask for Amo to come over? That won’t work at all meaning that Amo will never go visit as that other girl won’t be able to cope! He pays damages plus maintenance for Amo and you are sorted!”
She made a bit of sense not that I was actually taking it all in. I decided to call Aurelia to tell her about this update. She was with my mother on this one and said that I should not deny my baby the right to see his father. I do not get it really! Everyone gets angry at the woman who is raising and feeding the child alone when she refuses for the biological father who has paid no part in the child’s life a visit. You become the witch that caused all this and are selfish. I asked her how she could take his side considering all that she knew. She said she was not taking my side or Mudenda’s side, rather the Amogelang’s side! She then asked me something I did not expect,
“Did you give Tidimalo my number because he called me?”
“What are you talking about? I did not give him! What did he want?”
I asked her. She said that he had asked for lunch so that they could talk. I was simply stunned. She said she had turned him down but she was certain he was the type to persist. As soon as she hung up I called him. The first thing he said was,
“Why are you calling? Has something happened to Amo!”
He had been sleeping but that was the first thing that came to mind. He was so sweet his concern for my son.
“Why did you call Aurelia?”
I asked him. I was not mad but rather anxious. I did not want him falling for my friend. That would be a disaster. It’s clear they already had chemistry from how they had interacted and again that was something I feared. If I dated him again that would mean I would always be jealous of how they got along. A bit too well at that.
“I did not realize that I am not allowed to talk to girls anymore…”
His words dripping with so much sarcasm. He was his own man he was telling me but not at myy expense.
“Please she is my friend. I would not handle it well if you guys dated. Come on you are my ex!”
I reminded him. It was actually uncomfortable saying that because of late he had become more than ex. He was a friend, brother, and indeed a male figure in Amo’s life making him a dad too. So many things in one.
“Mudenda’s family said they want to come and pay for damages for me…”
I told him changing the subject! It was uncomfortable as is!
“Damages for what? He thinks he can just waltz in and save the day like that! I am going to fuck him up if he shows up at your house! I swear to you on that one! Fucken moron!”
And he hung up! The phone actually clicked in my ear like those old house phones! If I didn’t know better I would say he had banged the phone down!
But then again,
What was that about?
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I am a young lady, 22 years of age. I come from a very loving family. I live with both parents and I have two siblings. I am the first born. I would say without any doubt that my parents love us and do everything they cane for us. I do not need anything. I have everything I need and that’s all thanks to them.
I am not a very demanding daughter. I hardly ask for anything. I am very grateful to God for blessing me with such a family, I cannot imagine life without them.
My problem is that somehow, I do not seem to get along with my mother, sister and brother. What I mean is, I cannot get along with them when they are all together. Someone has to find something wrong in whatever I do or say. But when I interact with either of them individually, it’s great.
My brother and sister have been together most of their lives. They are best friends. They even call each other “mmataka” , “my friend”. They have a strong bond. They attended both primary school and high school together. I went to a different school. And because they’ve been together most of their lives than I have with either of them, they can relate with each other on many things: they know the same people, talk about the same things and both have tough skins if I can say that (I am a very sensitive person and I get offended very easily). They are what I like saying, free spirits, they aren’t as emotional as I am. They swear a lot, to each other, at no offense at all, that’s just how they are. Whereas Mr on the other hand, I don’t swear, and get really hurt when they do at me. I prefer to be on my own at home because I want to avoid any argument with either of them. Now this makes my dad very worried. I sit in my room just for peace sake because I don’t know hore hake ka bua tlebe ke offenda mang.
I don’t know how to explain what I want to write to you, like I have to dig deep to find the right words. The thing is, I feel like we don’t get along when we are together because we don’t have much in common and because we are very different (personality wise). My parents don’t seem to get that though. They don’t get that my brother and sister are closer with each other because they’ve spent so much time together. They also don’t get that we have different personalities and that we express ourselves differently. siblings fight, that’s a fact and will always happen. But whenever we do have disagreements, I’m the one that’s blamed harshly. I am the one that gets the rough end of the stick. I’m the one whose feelings get hurt verbally. I am the one who the parents look at as if I’ve disappointed them extremely. I admit, I have made mistakes which I am really not proud of, behaviour wise. My sister is a very outgoing person, she’s over the top. A diva. She exaggerates a lot. So much. Le ha qhoqha fela o add’a ‘spice’ unnecessarily. Whenever she does something, cook or clean or study or pass a test, she wants the whole world to know. I always tease her by saying o rata maaka. My parents know she exaggerates haholo, but not when it comes to me. Whenever we have a disagreement, she’s always the one who goes and tattle-tales to my mom. And my mom always takes her side, without even wanting to hear my side. I’m the type of person that keeps to herself, as in I won’t go and rant to my parents about how my brother or sister swore at me or just spoke to me in disrespect because I know that parents stress when they hear stuff like that. But no, my siblings do the opposite. I’m getting tired of it because now my parents think I need some kind ke intervention. My siblings like saying I treat my friend’s like gold and them like trash, I can tell toy now that i don’t. I treat them the same. It’s just that sometimes it’s easier to be nicer to my friends than them. I don’t know if that makes any sense. Recently my sister and I had an argument where I lowered down the radio volume and she demanded me to turn it back up in a very rude tone and I did not. Then we had a verbal spat nyana and soon as my mom called she told her, exaggerated and said how there is never peace when I am around. Now whenever my parents call them, they tell them to pray for me. They speak about me behind my back. I know it’s me they speak about because the last call my sister had with my dad he asked about me and she said im around and she said that prayer won’t help. It hurts me so much.
Mind you, we lived together for a year, her first year and we got along so bad. I practically did everything for her and tolerated her behaviour.( we lived with two of her friends at different times, male and female that year. I did not rant to my parents about this as I knew she would get in trouble, I let the situation go and got used to having these people around, they grew on me).
Yoh Mike weitsi I have so much to tell you, like it’s so much writing this letting is so overwhelming and so out of my character. I never tell people how I feel, I hate being vulnerable. It’s just that now all of this is getting to much for me.
With my mother, she complains about me so much to her side of the family, she complains that i don’t cook or Cleans. And I can tell you now that yes,i do not like cleaning, I hate it, but I’m not lazy and I actually don’t mind doing the dishes. I find it therapeutic. I do clean, I cook too, more than clean. I enjoy cooking. But it’s so hard to cook when whenever toy do, you get criticised about your food. I am very sure that to my aunts, I’m that child you do not want to have. Ke lazy and ke ungrateful. She once told me that she will never be satisfied with whatever I do. Those words haunt me till this day because I try best to make her happy. My mother also likes cpmparing my relationship with my siblings with hers and her siblings. I don’t know how she thinks we can have the same relationship where she does not have the same relationship with all of hers. She’s much closer to only 2 out of the 7 of her siblings. She also compares my dad’s relationship with his siblings to the one she has with hers. I’ve told her many times that people aren’t raised the same. And we are all not the same. She cannot expect us to be like how she is with her siblings. I mean it’s great that she wants that for us but it’s impossible. My sister on the other hand, she hates doing the dishes, and my mom knows this and she sometimes does them for her. She never complains about this.
Anyway, mike, pelo yaka e tletse. I do not know what to do anymore.
I’m so hurt. A ke happy at all. I don’t know if vele something is wrong with me or not. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have so much to say. I know this letter is all over the place, I touch on different things, but they are the things that I feel like I can explain and express at the moment.
I’m sorry that this letter is so long.