Rumblings – Chapter Forty Five

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

Pregnant women should not have big mouths period! This is the stage of your life where you should be most protective of the little miracle that is growing in your tummy. The irony is, when women get pregnant that’s when they decide to pick the most fights. Why is that so though? When I was pregnant I made sure I stayed out of everyone’s way. I did not even want to take a taxi for fear of germs in the taxi affecting my baby. Yes that’s a bit paranoid but that’s how much I felt strongly about bringing any kind of harm to my my baby. With what Meladi did to me, she really owed me a lot, not that I wanted it. Now she was in hospital and am almost certain she was making a huge deal about what happened. That’s what the girls who ‘won’ do! They blame everything on the baby mama as though she is the one who made the man be such a dick! Mudenda was a dick! Meladi is the one who allowed him to be that man. Once a man is willing to live another woman for you a lot of things should click with you especially the fact that you can’t bank on him to be your together forever! Most men show you their true colours early on in relationships but we choose to either downplay them or completely behave as though the signs were not there! No wonder why we are always crying.

“Mudenda you know I called you yesterday to come pick her up. No one touched her. Why would I have called you if I was doing something to her?”

I explained to him on the phone. I won’t lie I was a bit scared at this moment because just yesterday the police were here and I was not too sure that I will be able to saved a second time!

“In fact why didn’t you come?”

I asked him come to think of it. When I called him he had not come to rescue his fiance. Were there problems in paradise? I know it sound petty but nothing makes a jilted baby mama happier than knowing that your relationship is not working out especially if your new woman is such a bitch towards you.

“Don’t ask too many questions! Stay away from Meladi!”

He said and he hung up. What had I done? She is the one who had come to my house unannounced yet now he was angry at me! Really though? Meladi hated me so much. A woman who is sleeping with your man can hate you so much when you have never actually met her or done anything to her. She will hate you for being the woman he loved first and there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it. Meladi hated me double because once upon a time she loved me as a friend until she decided my man was meant to be with her!

I told Aurelia what had just happened and she told me that I needed to stay away from those people. How though? They were the ones who came to my house not the other way round.yet I was the one who was being told to stay away. It was getting late though and I had to go. Something was not right with Aurelia. Her phone rang and it was a Durban landline. She moved to the other room but she did not close the door. I could hear she was talking to a woman who was quite happy on the phone. The woman asked her why she sounded so down on the phone but Aurelia quickly readjusted her tone when she explained that she was fine. I moved away from the door. I was so confused. When she came back into the lounge she did seem a bit happier though. She said that things were looking up. Her phone rang again and she gave it one look. I thought it was her mother again but the way she turned away from it and ignored it. I saw the name on the phone, it was written DOG.

“We have to go now!”

She said.

“I am sleeping at your place if you don’t mind! I am tired of being alone in this place!”

This was rather sudden but I ddid not mind. My mother would like to thank her in person in any case so why not.

“Ok it’s fine go pack!”

I said to her.

“I have already packed let’s go!”

She said. Ok now that was weird but I didn’t ask. I took my things and she took her things. She actually sounded happy not but her sense of urgency was quite impressive. We went downstairs and her car was parked in front. We put the bags in.

“Crap he is here!”

She said unwittingly outloud! Who was? I looked up and I saw my new boss. He was talking to the security at the gate laughing.

“Does this mean you can’t come?”

I asked her!

“Shut up let me think!”

She said. She then drove us to the other side of the parking that had no view from the gate.

“Aurelia why are we hiding?”

I asked her getting a bit nervous now!

“If he sees me he will ask me to stay and am so not in the mood for him right now! Don’t worry about it!”

She said.

“Let’s give it five minutes and then we will drive out casually.”

She switched off her phone. I did say she was acting weird right. I let her be. I took out my phone. Why had I not thought of this before because all the signs I think were there?

I found myself on Google and I searched,

“Signs that your friend is being abused?”

Before I could even read what came out on Google there was a knock on the car window!

Talk about the worst hiding spot!

It was him!

****The End*****

Mikeatdiary (insta)
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Thank you for reading this. I used to be one of those so called IT girls because I was dating one of the richest black South Africans. He is married and has two kids one of which is older than me. He is the CEO of a major corporation. I am not going to lie and say I loved him because it was purely for the money and holidays I went to. I started dating him when I was 19 in my first year of university. He had come there to give a speech on something that’s how we met. He made it clear from day one that he wanted me for the sex and trips so I must not have delusions of him ever leaving his wife. He told me that if I did not have a boyfriend on the side him and I could not be together as I would get emotionally attached. For the love of money and things I got myself a boyfriend who typical of our age lied, cheated, drank and once or twice tried to be abusive. In November I turned 21 and my CEO threw me a party in Sandton. In February he said it was over because now I was too old and he only wanted fresh girls (exact words to my face). Our relationship had been a financial agreement I know that. He put r82 000 in my account when we broke up. The problem is, two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. With my boyfriend we 100% used condoms but with my sugardaddy we never. I did not tell him because I knew he would have me get rid of it. From the day we broke up my CEO has not spoken to me. My friends, the ones who knew about the relationship are divided on what I should do. Others says terminate and move on and others say keep the baby and get maintenance for life. My boyfriend a week ago asked my friend to check for my ring size because he wants to propose. I am only 21 and he is 23 and doing his articles. I know you can call me names such as whore slut etc but that is my situation now and I have tried to be as honest as possible. I will not take offense but please advise me going forward.

Please advise


93 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter Forty Five

  1. QnA… Don’t keep the baby like you said his a pretty big deal n you might not get tht much money for maintance,he already gave you close to a 100thousand don’t let greed cloud your judgment! He can end up paying you 1500 a month and thts nothing! This is Mzansi,corruption trumps everything! Keep your young guy

  2. Thanks Mike and Tee

    Q&A Don’t let the baby succumb to your selfish tendencies. The decision u make must eradicate you now. Oh and take it one day at a time.

  3. Morning Doag fmly!nice read bt Y every1 make Faith as if she iz da one wrongin ppl! Aiy QnA Yo CEO iz very cold person.I’ve been 2 tertiary I know situations back home Aint da same so I wnt judge u! About da pregnancy (no comment)

  4. Termination comes with a lot of consequences, wat if u cnt gv birth again? Wat if dat would be ur one and only child? Y ddnt u contracept? Will u be able to live with the guilt of killing a child ur entire life? Keep the baby and struggle with him/her. I’m sorry if I sound harsh but it’s always our ignorance and recklessness that we fall into traps like that. I also fell pregnant at a very young age nd I am a single parent cc nd it’s hard, but hvn a child brings u a new perspective in life, gives u purpose and something to live, something to wake up to. You won’t be the 1st to be a single parent nor last. Your boyfriend will probably cancel dat proposal cz he wl surely feel betrayed but cc life goes on and if u were meant to be with him, he will still marry u despite u cheating on him. And lastly learn to be ur own woman. There is no better satisfaction than knowing that all you have is certainly from your hard work. If u weren’t a liker of thngs u wudnt be in this mess bt I am not one to judge, I was once in da same shit so.. Hang in there cc.

  5. QnA sisi do keep your young guy. He seems promising and you to will grow together. Do not put yourself in such a bad situation. I don’t think I can say terminate the pregnancy though because I’ve been through that n after some time you regret it at the time it seems like a great idea but u think about the precious life u lost. But do not go after the guy. H was pretty stupid to not use protection when h didn’t want nothing tracing back to him. Keep your future lawyer.

  6. Thanks Mikeesto, feel sorry for Aurelia though…

    Riri, it would be rendered useless for me to call you stupid for falling pregnant in this scenario. Considering that you mightve read Confessions and know exactly what happened to N,dumb ass move, I said it.

    R82000 to terminate a contract is an ‘ok’ deal, rendered there aren’t any comebacks. A baby on the other hand is suicidal. You did say he is one of the richest Mzanti darkies right… Your life can be a living hell in an instant. At 21, you have a bf who wants to marry you, have a bank account with lots of zero’s in it and you’re carrying a sugarchild, and I thought my life was dramatic #Jesus

    Look, all that baby is a blessing nonsense is valid when you wanna apply it, in the now, you need to Think of all possible scenarios, including getting rid of it. When its all said and done, you need to be comfortable with the decision that you will make. A baby out of wedlock is considered bad, so is abortion. People will talk but wena you will be the one crying alone with a bottle of Nedeburg Pinotage. So if you think ‘scoring’ a lifetime of maintenance is gonna be like taking a number 2, you need a rude awakening.

    If I were you, I would make contact, just incase, tell him what’s going on, but after you’ve made a decision. Tell him your pregnant and wait for his reply, you can then adjust yours to accommodate his, it is quite clear no self value was ever considered in this contract, I don’t see the need now. So whether it seems you selling yourself short, it shouldn’t be an issue coz you been selling yourself since 19 for holidays and money, is that what gold digging is called lately?! If this dude is indeed amongst the richest in Mzantsi, ko darkie ofcourse, then 82K shouldve been 820k. But then again, gold digging is cheap labour compared to platinum chicks who run the world.

    Your business decision-making skills will be the ultimate decider to the following:
    1. A baby with proper maintenance plan.
    2. A baby with no daddy
    3. No baby and married
    4. No baby and not married with no sugardad or bf.


  7. Good morning family, thanks for the daily dose.

    Q&A Hi baby girl, what do you really want to do as the choice lies with you as you’ll have to live with your decision for the rest of your life. Look on the brighter side, he was up front with you from the beginning that you’re just a sex toy and pregnancy wasn’t part of the plan. I don’t believe in abortion but in this case it looks like the only way out. He’s powerful and can krush you if you keep the baby unless if you’re willing to loose your man over a married man. All the best

  8. A2Q termination is ur only option cc dat guy is not cuming back terminate n move on with ur life cc u dont want to b stuck wit a fatherless child for what?maintanance no bby dats just too low even for u lol get another rich guy if money is de problem now and dis time use protection hle

  9. @riri don’t terminate the pregnancy, there’s a thing called conscience and it will eat u inside for the rest of your life, don’t keep the pregnancy for his money, listen to the inner you!!

  10. @riri don’t terminate the pregnancy, there’s a thing called conscience and it will haunt u for the rest of your life and its a sin. don’t keep the pregnancy for his money, listen to the inner you!!

  11. Riri you know its so easy for people to judge but only you know what you going through, my advise to you is terminate before you ruin the rest of your young life. I mean the guy told you from day one that he only wanted you for the sex and now you wana give him a child that might possibly ruin his marriage and your future,yes he might pay maintenance for life but but honey believe me it is way harder raising a kid on your own and believe me you will resent the kid for mistakes you made by keeping it and keep your kid bf dont rush into marriage with him coz you still a kid yourself you have your whole life ahead of you,i have been in your situation 4 years ago and i kept my baby and it was hard and still is,pray about it girl.

  12. Hi Riri. My advise to you would be to terminate. Y bring this innocent soul into a fatherless home? My hubby once cheated and had a lovechild. He mantains the child but he is not involved in her life. Its like that child does not exist. I feel sorry for the child but I also have to look out for mine. We go on family holidays and do family stuff together. That child will never have that in her life. Maybe with a stepfather but not with her father. As she grows older she will start asking questions. Imagine how she will feel when she finds out she is a product of a two month affair. So for the sake of your child please terminate and restart your life. Start on a clean slate

  13. Hai sisi pregnancy should b enjoyed and shared with you partner,yes you can do it alone but down the line u will feel that you need him and he won’t b around like you said he hasn’t talked to you since the brack up that shows he means business and I dont think pregnancy will change that ey,he probably has a new sexy things on his arm right now,cut ties and terminate and focus on you bf hubby to b

  14. Riri darling bt ur sugar daddy told u nt 2 fool urself, u cnt catch a man with a child & to him u r nw worthless. Focus on ur bf cz ur sugar is done with ,he nid new blood…golddigger. ppl r working hard towards their success wena u think being pregnant cn make u rich,oska di potsa..maaka.!!

  15. Riri if this man is as influential and a big deal as you say he is, don’t you think he might be dangerous as well? Think about it, such hot shots are willing to do anything to protect their families and their current positions. You coming out and making him pay maintenance will not only ruin him and his family but may also put your life at harm’s way. As much as it is not easy sthandwa sam, the only alternatives endithi you have mna is either to terminate or keep the baby and just move on with your life. Don’t make it public, maybe ungamxelela ke yena uCEO just for the sake of your baby.

  16. QnA Love please terminate, you do not want to be stuck with a baby that is fatherless and then you looz ur bf too. haai. youre 21, chill abit, no babys yet.

  17. Riri

    1st I dnt believe in abortion.

    Moving on…1.ok u said you at the university, meaning very soon u might be having a good job and be independant..that means u won’t need the sugar daddies money so there’s no point of keeping the baby as the “source of ur income”.

    2. U said u 23 yrs so y rush to get married??

    3. With the money u have u can save it to maintain ur baby until u find a stable job…tell ur boyfriend yes she will dump you so what u young u can stil get another one, being a single parent is not as bad as everyone keep saying…. As for telling ur sugar daddy about it, obvious he will force u to terminate cos in a long run that baby will eventualy ask about his daddy and he can’t ignore it 4eva…goodluck

  18. Riri I am not those people who thrive on insults, so don’t worry yourself because I wont insult you! I will however tell you though that if you intend to keep the baby to milk money from the CEO then you have a very huge mountain to climb. The fact that he was able to give you R82 000 for absolutely \NOTHING means he can give the R82 000 to someone who is willing to get rid of you PERMANENTLY!

    That CEO guy made it very clear from day 1 that he is not the kind of man who is going to jeopardise his family for you, so you think by pitching at his door and telling his wife (whom he treasures) that you are pregnant with his child, he is suddenly going to have a change of heart towards you!

    I will however be very clear that I am not for abortion. I say keep your baby and work very hard to raise that child. You have been given an opportunity to be selfless, I say grab it and do something you will one day look back and be proud of yourself!!

    Let me remind you that ABORTION IS MURDER!!! no matter how you look at it but you will have to live with that guilt that you murdered a growing human being!!! But please do not keep that baby to have leverage on the CEO guy that would be very stupid!!!

  19. if the gal is being abused she is way too brave to be able to see it n get away wen the damage is not too deep.i have read n saw many stories of people who were abused n most did not leave wen it started @ Q&A riri how can u be preg for someone who told u his intentions about u from the start ??if he ddnt want to use cd we all know about family planing. u wanted to get preg so that u can get maintanance finish n klaar

  20. its amazing how quick people are to say Abortion is murder and be so narrow minded about it, yet i bet those people have never been in a position where abortion is their only choice. @ Evo, if you were rapped and fell pregnant would u still preach that its murder and tell the victim to keep it, before commenting on what u believe look at the circumstances, none of us here are saints and if someone was to get themselves into a situation where they could either sink or swim, then we are in no position to judge them for taking the option of swimming, no matter if it means they need to terminate and start on a clean slate.

    so my word of advice to those who are against abortion and think its murder, ask yourself this. if this was your sister or cousin who was rapped…would u tell them to keep it.

    P.S. i know this letter had nothing to do with rape, but too many people are commenting and disregarding the circumstances surrounding this.

    1. Maybe you need to re-read the letter four times and see if there was any rape in her story! I will still say abortion is murder yes even if the person s a rape victim. ABortion can NEVER be the only way out. there is ALWAYS the choice of keeping the baby and if you feel you cant raise the baby then give it away for adoption. So please I am not righteous I am just saying it like it is ABORTION IS MURDER whether you were raped, or you were a liker of things like Riri, or fell preggies by mistake as most tend to say… but the FACT that you remove a foetus from your womb before it is ready to come out NATURALLY is MURDER!!!

      1. i see you clearly didnt read my last bit so let me copy and paste it for you to read.

        P.S. i know this letter had nothing to do with rape, but too many people are commenting and disregarding the circumstances surrounding this.

        i think the best way to get off your high horse is to go through such yourself.

        rape affects many lives.

        the victim
        the child if it lives
        the family as a whole.

        can you even comprehend having to live 9 months of your life having to carry a constant reminder of what was done to you.

        its bad enough women have to live with the trauma of being raped, now u want her to have a living reminder of it for not only 9 months but the rest of her life.

        get off your high horse and actually learn to comprehend how badly that would affect someone, otherwise go through it yourself then come back and comment.

      2. @Eve but lark its not ur murder akere but her murder u wont b there to help her raise de child she’s only 21 for god sake n still studying stop playing God n try 2 walk a mile in her shoes, is dat too much to ask?

  21. Q&A whoo girl he dumped you coz he says you aint fresh no more? Hai you had a nasty one hey, I’m 21 but I still have my CEO.

  22. aicha it pains me to see that women are the most ppl who are giving u advice to terminate your pregnancy, yes you will raise your baby alone so what!? ziningi kab izingane who grew up without fathers nd im one of them but I turned out just fine nd my mother was 17 when she had me. what im tryna say is dat u wont suffer coz u do have education, ukuthanda ubukhazikhazi ngeke kisize manje. just keep your baby nd I know once you hold her/him in your arms you will see that keeping her is the best decision uve ever made in your life

  23. Thank you Mike. What a read. I also enjoyed the letter and comments thoroughly today. I copy and paste what Jackzorro wrote but I will add that are you ready for your name to be splashed everywhere because if he is the daddy, you will be tabloid fodder and won’t be able to get a job. He can destroy you I bet unless you change towns and even then, he has a nationwide influence, better move to Zimbabwe. You are too young to get married however a commitment would be good as you figure out if you wanna be with your boyfriend. Lastly don’t regret whatever choice between abortion and being a single parent because you spent 2 years being a call-girl and got R82000 for it. I don’t know if your bf will still propose but don’t make him take care of the child as his should you keep it. Lastly, talk to a professional to help you make a decision. Oh and don’t blow the money. Invest it sisi. Be Khanyi Mbau about it.

  24. Riri sweetheart this is ur life the baby is going to bring nuthing bt stress I tell you. thrz Nuthing depressing dan raising a child alone I know too many women do it n survive n I really respect them for dat. bt do u also wanna add to de number of single madas? its up to u dont do what ur heart doesn’t want but honestly if I were u I was gonna terminate maristope is the best and they know what to do u can go there. goodluck dear

  25. Riri sorry but you are wrong and there is karma and I wish it comes to bite you when YOU are married. IT girl? Woman you were not an IT girl considering you have the egg on your face now. Seriously they say kids shall suffer the sins of their parents and I hope for you it will not be the case because what you did is just wrong and your child/children do not deserve to bear the brunt of your selfishness. I will TELL you it is wrong. You know what terminate the pregnancy it will be better for the child because this scenario will just get worse in time because you will get bitter. Let this be a lesson to each and every girl here. WORK for your own money, be an independent woman who will not be thrown away by a measly R82 000.00. R82 000.00 for being a sex toy now you damaged goods. Shaking my head

  26. QnA Its true wen dey say imali imbhangela yesono yho n dis suga daddy ayizithandi going around having unprotected sex u included but ders no use of us dwelling on dat now da damage Is done n wat I’ll say is da decision lies within u, u knw wat u want n weda u will b able to keep a child u knw will never have his/her biological father coz obvious ntn will change he tld u from da start wat he wanted from u n u agreed to the terms n conditions of jst being his sex toy n I’m sure dats where its gonna end wif him n I’m sure he has done dis to many ada girls wore da t-shirts n threw it in a trash bag n u mite nt b da 1st dis has happend to so nje terminate da preg n next time b a clever nyatsi

  27. I really don’t know why everyone is going on about fatherless homes likes women havent beeeeeeeeeeen raising children on their own. Its not easy, but it is being done everywhere. This baby might be the change you need, that gives your life more focus and meaning.

    Riri you need to decide what you want in life. Are you ready for a baby?
    Are you ready to deal with the decision to terminate? Do you want to keep living your gold-digger life? etc… Decide what you want for the rest of your life and then make the decision whether to terminate or not.

    I also dont know why everyone is making it seem like the relationship with this young guy is the ideal situation. Was he not lying, cheating and being abusive???? I am also not getting the feeling that you really love this 23 year old? So lets not even consider him coz honestly I think you need to marry a guy that you are hopelessly inlove with who treats you good.

    Its not the worst thing in the world to want to be a gold-digger, own that shit and terminate if you want. But later in life you alone must be able to live with the decisions you make now.

    Goodluck Riri

  28. Dear Riri,

    With being a liker of things, complications are bound to riddle your life and in your case, i don’t know whether to blame it on immaturity or just being plain simple. In the 2 odd years you’ve been dating this man it did not occur to you to have an insurance exit policy? Not too sure what school you went to, but i was taught in grade 5 how babies are made, and obviously having unprotected sex is a sure proof way to get on that high way quick enough.

    Being tactful is quite exhausting so i’m going to be blunt with you, you were stupid, not only for getting pregnant, but getting pregnant for a man who blatantly told you the fundamentals of your relationship from the onset, in addition to that, being a dumb ass sugar baby with no ambitions of your own. In the time that you spent with this so-called rich high profile man, you opted not to seize the opportunities you most certainly should have had at your perusal but opted to pop bottles, jet set to holidays and get pocket change for whatever it was you did with the money… smh typical, are you perhaps from an underprivileged background cause You’re tendencies reek of lack of exposure, i mean how do you get so fascinated about holidays to the extent that you have unprotected sex with a person, do you even know his health status, being rich doesn’t make you immune from STDs.

    Personally, I am against abortion and believe it is a cowardice way to get out of situations and not face the music, why kill a baby who knows nothing about your high profile prostitution. Abortion won’t make you un-pregnant, just a mother to a dead child. The way i see it, if you tell this man early enough that you’re pregnant, chances are, he’ll want you to terminate, if you wait past the safe time he might just not want anything to do with you nor the baby and you’re still stuck with a situation on your hands. A maintenance plan is not sure proof dear, this guy sounds crude in his ways he might just do something unthinkable to you.

    I feel sorry for the guy who wants to marry you, he surely does have an “Asthandile” on his hands. You’re young, at 21, you still have your whole life ahead of you, calm down, lead the simple life you were meant to be living. O phaphile, but that’s water under the bridge and hopefully you’ve learnt from your mistakes. If you want to be a gold digger do it properly, dig and dig wholeheartedly. Leave a millionaire next time not with 82k compensation. That’s a measly retirement fund don’t you think? you were working after all weren’t you.

    Toughen up and Wisen up


    1. I guess there is nothing for me to say. You said it all. I remember when our beloved Jackorro called someone to order because of their ways and he was crucified. I think that would relevant here in this situation. Mara some women/girls really can’t use their brains. I would have out of this relationship being a millionaire, no baby, no STD. This girl clearly was just enjoying prostituting herself for basically NOTHING!!! Let me just keep quiet before I say things that will get me into trouble.

      1. @Kayvee lol i bet u have never made even 5 grand out of all your gold digging life but u are so quick 2 count millions uv never worked for

        1. @Kay, difference between me and Riri is that she opens her legs to make money and I work my butt off to make money. Gold digging is not my style but if you are one, you have to be smart about it. Especially with a guy like this who was clear in the beginning that you are just a sperm dish to him. Haai!! It was abovious from the beginning that the older she gets, he is gonna run so I bet she was popping bottles, buying label clothes and didn’t even save a single cent. If really this guy can give her 82K to get rid of her, then she should have milked that cow for what it’s worth and walked out that relationship with 6 digits.

      1. She did get advise, or are you reading something different. There was no judgement here just pure fact stating. Why do people always get emotional with the truth? It can’t always be roses and sunshine, calling a spade a spade is necessary!

        1. what advise did she get exactly? because u kayvee and zama are just judging nje telling riri the should have’s not the way foward.

  29. Riri you sound like a very clever lady who just got caught up in a situation of wanting it all(IT Girl), i dont wanna judge you and call you a gold digger cause in actual fact no person is perfect and perfection is in the eyes of the lord, my advice to you is that you terminate the pregnacy sister and move on with your life because i can tell you that once this man(BEE) finds out that you are pregnant he will move heaven and earth to make your life miserable only to make sure that you do not destroy the life that he has created for himself, yes termination is considered as immoral but the question is are you willing to live your life in misery or are you wiling to cut all ties and move on with your life? Consider all before making the decision that can either break you as a young women or build you 2 become more responsible in life. i wish you all the best in life.

  30. @Riri don’t get it twisted my dear. Life is sacred and Abortion is murder, period. my opinion is u don’t need to tell ur sugar daddy anything and hopefully ur friends who know about the situation can keep their mouth shut. when the baby is born contact him and tell him. Use his contacts to help secure employment. U don’t need to take him for maintainance blabla that will be suicide for u. It’s a man’s world. And break up with ur current bf,u not ready to be a wife. Marriage is not a wedding.

  31. Q&A Darling,terminate that pregnancy. This situation is not complicated at all. you had and the sugardaddy had a very clear relationship ,which you have benefited from,as well as he did. Falling pregnant was a wrong move,i would have expected a wise girl like you to use cintraceptives,but any way,whats done is done. Thank goodness for our government for legalising abortion. Go to a professional institution and get that pregnancy terminated. You deservea second chance,so give yourself one. This child will be unwanted by his father.imagine you dragging him to courts for maintenance and what not. Imagine the drama.

  32. good morning people..I think faith should listen to her friend bcs if she takes the job she will be second victim, dear riri im a christian an blv abortion is a sin dear an doing it wll make u a murder but when I put myself in ur shoes…if u keep the baby u will regret…immediately u tell him dat ur pregnant wt his child thats the moment he will say ur tryn to break his married plus u said he knws dat u hv a bf, he wll use dat against say is ur bf’s….so I wll say the word terminate the start to love ur bf, im 21 an engaged my fiance he’s 23 an we wll run a home by that age soo dnt tell urself dat ur young wen ur bf want to propose…plus u already opened ur legs fr old men dat mean ayiboo ur old ass

  33. Q n A

    I got pregnant while I was still in Varsity. I used to be the IT girl amongst my friends.. I changed my ways and I got pregnant.. The guy told me to abort or else he will leave me.. I couldn’t do it.. Instead I made sure that I complete my studies, along the pregnancy.. I met a guy and he knew about my situation, now my baby girl is 2 months, with a father and i’m also engaged.. The sperm donor made it clear that he doesn’t even want to see her.. He can only pay maintance through court.. If not then he wont.. He doesn’t want me to buy grocery with his money (his exact words)… I didn’t even brag about my engagement or anything to him. Now I even cry when I look at my baby girl thinking of what i’d be growing through if I had aborted her.

    What i’m trying to say is.. You can’t commit two sins.. Fornification and Abortion. Open up to your guy.. If he loves you, he will stick around.. Termination is traumatising.. Maybe the baby is what you need to change the life you were living and build your career.. You won’t be the first single mother and not the last.. After all, we may advice you to do this and that but really its up to you.

  34. Riri a child is a blesding from God but yet ngwana ke wa mosadi, that guy is gonna give u money to get rid of the baby, yes u can keep it and take him to maintenance but jus know the 1st reason os that u will be loving ut baby first n money will come later.

    Raising a baby is not easy, especially when u this young, u will need money, support, emotionally to survive n raise the child. So u cam keep it, love, nature n raise that bundle of joy, u will be doing it for u.

    And if u dnt keep it then u can still rebuild ur future go to school n work for ur self n make ur own money. That is my opinion

  35. Dear Ms Riri,

    Your story sounds very complicated but yet so simple,like life’s many problems. It’s happened. Could’ve, should’ve won’t help, its happened life goes on. What I like about you is that, you know what you did, sounds like you’ve accepted it and you just want a way forward.
    My advice: the old man has already made it clear that he wants nothing to do with you, period, so please do not attempt to make any contact with him. Stay away from him. But that does not mean that he won’t reappear in your life at some point, Setswana sa re: “Di sa kopaneng ke dithaba”. It’s a tiny world we live in. Keep the baby because you want to, not because of what people are telling you to do. Sit yourself down, listen to yourself and decide on the matter are you ready for the responsibilities of keeping the child or the consequences of terminating it. If I was in your shoes I would keep the baby, termination is just not an option, for what? I just think it’s a cowardly way out of taking responsibility for you actions. It’s well-known that consensual sex= Pleasure/Baby, protected or not (there’s always that 0.1percent chance of pregnancy even if it was protected sex, unless your barren). Termination however, you will spend your life with regret of some sort. The money that you got be wise about it. R82000 is not much but it’s something, invest it, grow it, use it to support yourself and your baby (that’s if you keep it). As for you and the guy that might marry you, sit him down and tell him the whole story his reaction will determine your decision as to whether you want to marry him or not. If you don’t tell him the truth, Karma is a B*tch that you don’t want to mess with. Marriage should be started on absolute honesty from either party if you want to leave a guilt free life with your partner. Like you said you used to be an IT girl, I hope it’s safe to assume that you must be very pretty/ or very confident. Be smart about that please, do not let it go to your head. A pretty face/confidence without brains does not get you much out of life, just an ugly body after too many abortions or a spiteful heart after being passed around by men who know what they want. A pretty face/confidence with brains now that’s very powerful. Before rushing to marriage give yourself time develop yourself as an individual spiritually, financially and Education wise. Times are hard it’s a dog eat dog world we live in, you can’t depend on anyone. Man or Woman. You first, you mess up, you have yourself to blame you pick up the pieces and move on. You succeed you have yourself to be proud of, you look at your achievements and seek more adventures. From this situation that you’re in what lesson are you taking out. Your currently 21, you can still do so much for yourself. Whatever you decide know that, you will live with that decision till your very last breath.

    All the very best.

  36. …Riri, I honestly don’t believe in a abortion but in this case scenario I’m going with it. Think bringing a child in this kinda situation it would be a selfish thing to do for the child. What would you say to the baby one day when she/he is grown and wants the father??? You were too careleSs!!! And you didn’t think about the consequences. You definitely should have used contraceptives shame. But another option would be to tell the COE and take it from there. But I really doubt he would want the child as he seems like he doesn’t want any complications with his wife. You can keep the baby but know that you gona lose your potential husband and be ready to be a single mother lalie pie. Otherwise I wish the best for you. Don’t wana sound all holy holy but also pray about.

  37. Thanks Team!!
    HHHAYI BO, SOMEBODY PLEASE PINCH ME COZ I MUST BE DREAMING!!!! R82000 for what?!?! Hhayi bo!!! Eish, am already in my mid thirties, so I’m considered stale and old by his standards. Hhawuuu, where was this guy 20 yrs ago?
    Anyway, terminate ntombi, and focus on your here and now!! Besides, you don’t want to screw somebody that powerful, next thing you’ll have a car accident and you are a distant memory.

  38. Riri…. From one former IT girl to another. I know exactly what your going through and the practical solution is to get rid of that baby.

    1. That guy has a family and reputation to protect he won’t be interested in your child or you because as far as he’s concerned he got rid of you. Yes an abortion eat your conscience up but a crying hungry child will be 100 times worse. No child deserves to be brought into a hostile environment.

    2. You should be graduating soon, that guy was right umdala ngoku sisi start thinking of your future. Invest that money and get yourself a job! A child will only slow you down.

    3. You are now used to a lifestyle you could never afford so soon your boyfriend izoku dika cause he won’t be providing the things you’re used to having so you’ll probably end up with another sugar daddy having a baby won’t make that easy. Your sugar daddy did you a favour shame he gave you a head start in life and it would be ungrateful and greedy to rock up with another mouth to feed.

  39. Hi Riri, the decision lies entirely up to u bt what i can tell is dat abortion is no child’s play. If it were me i wud let sugardaddy knw without any expectation and also tell my boyfriend before he proposes then from their responses ul b able to knw what to do.

  40. Mike, thank you for the wonderful chapters.

    Question: Where in the letter has Riri said she is looking for high maintanace? Where in the letter does she say she wants to go knock at the wife’s house and tell her she preggies? (rhetorical if u like)

    She has not decided what to do hence she is asking for advice.
    From what i know, abortion can lead to emotional distress. dont teminate pregnancy coz you tryna hide it from your now boyfriend. Whether you tell the sugar daddy or not is entirely up to you
    Remember at this point its all about you, the pregnancy and your wanna be fiance.


  41. Thanx Mikey. Why is Aurelia not telling Faith what’s really going on?
    Q&A as harsh as this may sound, I say terminate. Your sugar daddy is heartless, he’ll just hate you for getting pregnant,probably won’t even support your child. The child will just hold you back,yes they bring a lot of joy to one’s life but they also come very expensive, with a lot of responsibility. Go to a proper dr (gyanaecologist) it’s not like u can’t afford to. As for getting married, I don’t think it’s wise to get married at your age, unless you’re getting married to get divorced. Goodluck in whatever you decide

  42. Aurial o iketse month eng dis tym?
    Jackzorro kopa goba mokgotsi wa gago tu,,,u always hv good advise wen nided.le ha o phoqa motho,o phoqa ka lebaka I like dat.tnx Mike

  43. Thanks Mike.
    Riri sweetheart,impilo inzima sisi. I guess you know that your sugar-daddy want nothing to do with you and he won’t accept the baby as well but to avoid the heartache just inform the guy about the pregnancy just to put your mind at ease.
    Do what you think is right for you and your future. We raising father-less kids so you won’t be the only 1 and if you decide to have an abortion you won’t be the only 1 either. Keep the baby and don’t expect anything from this guy and ask for nothing. You knew the deal
    Good luck

  44. First comment ever.

    Q&A If you honestly don’t want the baby you’re carrying don’t keep.
    People talk about conscience and and value. But that’s not your values but their. If you know you are not connected emotionally to the child; and you know you don’t want the baby; I’m sure you’re conscience will be just fine.

    Take R3000 from that money he gave you and go to a clinic were they do TOP properly; and its legal.

  45. Yhuuuu Cc i say terminate gel and move on you don’t want to bring a child in this life whereby the father will have nothing to do with your child, moving on gel u have a boyfriend that loves you and wants to marry you…It won’t be easy bt still at the ultimate end the choice is yours we can only advise. …..wish you all the best…

  46. Riri terminat dear, 1st of all dat sugar daddy is powerful nd rich. Nd surely he cn do any thing to protect his family nd reputation. He cn even hire sum1 to kill u only bcoz u r pregnant nd he wont trust u when u say u wont EVEN bother him about ur bby’s needs. Plz focus on ur life nd studies. As for marriage i think 21 is very young. Dnt u wanna wrk nd help ur family who paid for ur studies in tertiary??

  47. LOL Kamanyosi yoooh, kudlaliwe ngathi nami ngiyakhala, sasikuphi kodwa nkosi R82000!!! budedengu kanje.

    Q&A As much as it was a sin to sleep with a married man, with or without protection its a sin to terminate as well, but you need to prepare your consious for that because the contract was clear, there were no hidden clauses, anything else involving pregnancy was not part of the contract, kahle kahle you have breached the contract, go for counseling and do what you have to do. ey uyangichaza when u say My CEO.

  48. Riri my advice to u is tell ur CEO n make it clear u gona terminate coz as u said some of ur friends knows abt d pregnancy n it myt jst come out in the near future so be honest,as for ur bf dnt tell him abt d pregnancy n the CEO he myt jst get angry n wana expose him n milk him 4 all he has trust me guys also has gold digging tendencies so it could get ugly rather jst leave him u r too young to get married anyway.u sound like a very smart girl surely uve been careful all this years u were together so this pregnancy was purely a mistake as u stuck to d rules for 3 years.goodluck with whatever u decide sweett

  49. Hi Mikey
    Many thanks for your stories u such a gifted writer, keep up d good work.
    @ Riri
    mmmm gal this is called a turning point in one’s life. When you grow up( I’m sure u beautiful and u using that to fulfill yo nids),at first it looks as if u own the world: men, frends,advisers,relatives everyone seems paying attention to u.Once u become a mother, your value depreciates!
    That means no choice of men, mind u when u hv someone who loves u, everymen want u and once u all by yoself noone wants u. On yo case, yo sex partner told u no strings attached and yo page was closed due to yo age(: . The guy is married any outside child will cause stress life that wl lead to a divorce. On yo side the child( Mathousands) wl b a reminder of yo dirty works for d rest of yo life. Remember history repeats itself, at some point u or yo child wl experience d same problem. So I won’t say what u shud do, bt weigh yo options and decide b4 its too late. These r type of secrets that one lives wth and buries them in one’s heart tl u die.
    If you opt to terminate, jst pay attention to yo studies, get a qual and play hard to get to yo busy boyfrend, tell him if he really mean it, he must wait till u get a degree or a diploma. Be proud of yoself, u r stl young and PLS condomise I might be the victim here: this mght b my hubby!!! Good luck anyway.

  50. Hayi wethu khathathe iresponsibility once in your life and share your R82000 nomntwana wakho. Am sure ininzi into onoyithengisa from your gold digging days to get even more cash to loom after you and your baby. If at 19 you were starting your degree you should atleast be approaching the finish line unless you neglected your studies at some stage. Ask your family to help out. Very few of us looked after our out of wedlock babies. Instead we went out to hustle so that we can feed and clothe the innocent souls without killing them. You always have a choice including adoption as opposed to the killing spree. Arbotion wont teach you anything but responsibility will. “Xa uthe wakhwelwa yindoda sisi uyamitha” # in Gladys’s voice- Rockville.:-(

  51. Q2A : baby girl, your child will not get a dime out of that man!!! Here u are talking about maintenance, that’s never going to happen love. The richest black man in the country won’t be taken to court for silly maintenance for a golddigging whores child. (No, you’re not a goldding whore, but those are the names the media would be calling u) I’m not vouching for abortion, but don’t even dream of him paying maintenace. Cos cc, that will NEVER HAPPEN!!!

  52. yerrr listen to serial killers they want her to terminate and ke basadi fela ba gore she must terminate. in south africa we have baby killers moer.lmao ha ha ha ha. kgale le etsa di abortions neh?

  53. @ Riri do not abort,a child is a gift from God. It doesn’t matter who the father is or how the child was conceived.

  54. where is this world going…cant this gal take this R82000 and support the child till she finish the skul and find work after that…coz i think that money can make a difference rather than abortion.this wont be the first child to grow without a father.hay maan bantu keep the baby.

  55. A2Q. My advice is find a good business idea that u can kick start with that money to ensure that you will always be provided for then u can make decisions from an independent standpoint. As for the baby ou don’t want the drama that will come with it, but I am not a fan of abortion so I won’t comment much on that, just weigh your options and possibilities then decide. Remember it’s your life and what people say should not always be a deciding factor. You messed up but you are still young . You can get back on your feet and make something of yourself.

  56. Riri my dear, from one IT girl to another, trust me, abortion is your best option. I made the mistake of keeping my sugarbaby, I don’t get much for maintenance, I didn’t get to finish my studies, i’m HIV positive, going in and out of psychiatric centers for depression. My life is a crying shame, a pitiful pity, all because I chose to have a conscience and keep a fatherless baby. Ow, did I mention the part where I don’t have any support from my family hence i’m loafing around at home plaiting people’s hair to eat? I wasted my life, God knows I love my baby, but keeping him was a mistake. Don’t repeat my mistakes, TERMINATE.

  57. QnA Sesi I hear the position you in and the advcices u getting,but wht I wil say its tht th choice is yours dear and I say abort the baby and leave your life and 4 most of th people giving advices here thy don’t have the 82k in thy account so keep the money n use it wisely life goes on u wnt regret anythng its part of growing n u lucky

  58. To abort or not to abort so dats the Q riri is asking
    ABORTION IS MURDER according to EVOQUE , so is it still murder when you are adviced by the doctors to terminated the pregnancy?

  59. Riri you are still young and with a bright future ahead of you. You are still very young to be a mother but what is done is done. Keep your baby for I believe no matter how a child is conceived it is a blessing which God wanted you to have. Speak to your X and let him know that you are pregnant. What ever he decides to do regarding your baby rest assured that you and the little one will be fine. A lot of us were raised by single parents and have turned out just fine. Please be honest with the 23 year old and let him decide if he still wants to be with you. Get tested too for a lot of these kinda men sleep with everything that wears a panty and is beautiful. Good Luck.

  60. yoh Mike todays chapter really hit home to some of us, Riri dear many people gave good advices reading from the comments, at the end of the day its your decision to make whether to terminate or keep the baby, but id advice that consider all possibilities and the consequences thereof. good luck sisi

  61. THe right way is always the hard one, so they say..but in your case it seems like either way it’s going to be hard tjo…i feel so emotional…Riri myLuv plz forget about life time maintenance…tell him about the pregnancy and leave it at that…If it was 4 years ago I’d say terminate but I’ve grown and know better…keep the baby no matter what keep the baby…its going to be hard but regret is even harder especially when you’re 33, sexy as he’ll, with ur dream job but can’t fall pregnant…trust me I know u feel like you at a breaking point but yonke lento izodlula and you’ll live to tell the story while there’s a voice in the background crying “mama”…kuzolunga infact you can name her Babalwa if it’s a girl or lubabalo if it’s a boy…you are stronger than what you think uzobona.

  62. Q&A: Riri (my fav singer!) But truly U made yo bed & U hav2 sleep in it. Ever heard d saying “In life at 1point U hav2 pay”. There R no fri rides 4ever. Lyk @sch those who pay by studying hard have a beta lyf & those who play pay later in lyf as they struggle, well usually! Then again UR doomed if U & UR doomed if U don’t.
    Personally Im against abortion being 4rm Christian bckgrnd. Yo biznes skills must help U here: Write down d prons & cons of either decision. I wud keep d child & start praying hard2 get a man who can be a fthr 2 yo baby bcz guy (frm where Im sitting) W don’t easily 4giv such. Bcz d problem wil come when d child wants2 know d fthr. Hence d nid4 a gud man in yo lyf.
    Trying all tricks2 invlv d millionaire cud hav untold consequences I wudnt advise even my own sister 2 do that. It cud even put yo family in danger bcz as U have experienced money makes d world go round, or shall W say money makes ppl go round d world. 4giv my wcked humor! Blame it on JackZorro my man! When RU taking off yo mask JckZr? Haha! PapaG

  63. All these ladies going on about baby’s being blessings are full of crap.You knowingly slept with a married man for benefits and are now contemplating bringing a poor defenseless child into this mess…..girl please you will end up getting R1000 for maintenance ,cut your losses and start a new life p.s don’t marry your new guy you are both way to young for that nonsense focus on your career for now.

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