Rumbings – Chapter Forty Four

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

When you live in a city where Coloreds are in the minority you probably would understand where I am coming from when I say Colored people are just angry! It has nothing to do with Trevor Noah’s sayings because all black people identify with those sentiments. Tidimalo once said to me that when you are walking down the street and you see three Colored guys coming down the street you just cross the road. Why? Not because they will rob you but because they will beat you up for no reason! I was once at a Fuck VIP party when this guy stepped on this Colored guys foot. He was with his friend when this happened. Problem is, the stepped on guy was wearing new sneakers! It was a genuine accident and logic dictates that walk away and accept the apology but not to the Colored guy. He was incensed. He beat the guy and his friend up and they were significantly bigger. That’s that anger I am talking about. There is an aura about them and my sister should know better! I knew her friends from Eldorado! They were quick to violence and had no stop button when angered. My mother did not want them in the house and had told her favorite daughter in no uncertain terms that they were a no go area. Irony is, Sanchia was a bank teller and I think last time I checked Michelle worked for Woolworths and customer relations meaning they dealt with people politely everyday.

“Judith please don’t do this! You know your friends haave no chill!”

I told her.

“Come on! You saw what she did. We could have slept in jail and what was mama going to say then?”

She asked me but I nodded my hand defiantly.

“We could have but didn’t! What has gotten into you?”

I asked trying to convince her this was a bad idea. My sister worked with momentum. Once you riled her up she only got angrier and angrier. That’s why she was self destructive.

“This girl came to your house, I am sure called you names and then tried to get us both arrested… there is no way you should let that go! That’s what I call people getting to walk all over you!”

She was making a good argument but I was a mother now. I can’t afford to make such irrational decisions and what’s more, I was starting a neww job soon. I rejected her idea but I could see she was not convinced. She forgot that if in that attack something happened to her pregnancy it will be on her and us. I hated the girl but not to that extent!

I called her and was surprised she actually picked up. She was offish on the phone but that was fine she was entitled. I asked where she was and she said at home. She had period pains so she was not going anywhere. I told my sister that the job offer had called to sign some papers so she must stay with Amo whilst I rush there. She offered to drive me but I said no. The reason why I wanted to leave her with Amo was because I did not her to go looking for Meladi. My mother was still sleeping in any case.

Two taxis later I was at her place. Everyone lives in gated communities nowadays because the Johannesburg criminals have sent us packing for security. They called her apartment number and she was quite shocked to hear who was at the gate. Yes I am a bad friend I hardly ever visit her. The security gave me directions and I walked in. It was actually an expensive apartment block.

I could see that she had been crying. Her eyes were puffy and swollen.
“My friend whats wrong?”
I asked her as soon as she opened the door. She looked bad in fact there is no other word for it!

“Eish don’t mind me! You have finally decided to come visit me wow Faith some friend you are!”

She said trying to change the subject. Why would she do that though?

“Aurelia you are like a sister to me! Tell me what’s wrong and maybe I can help?”

I won’t lie part of me was scared she would say it was because of the job but she didn’t thankfully. Instead she deflected the questions until I forved her to speak,

“My mother is sick but it’s nothing hectic. Don’t worry about it!”

How can she tell me not to worry about it?

“When are you going back to durban to see her?”

I asked her. It was like she had all the answers prepared for me the way she answered so fast.

“I am not going. She said I must not come she does not want me to see her like this! My mother worrues for me so much!”

She said. I understood where she was coming from parents can be over defensive at time. I did not want to push any further because clearly she did not want to talk about it. What a strong girl though! I told her all about my drama from last night and she listened in awe. She agreed with me that my sister needed to chill. I made us tea because she said she did not drink soft drinks as they made her fat. She always came up with all these theories. There was something in her voice thought was quite un-Aurelia like. I can’t quite place it. Her mom really was affecting her and much as I wanted her to go home I could not force her. As we were making lunch I got a message on my phone,

“What really happened yesterday because Meladi is now in hospital and they are saying she has complications possibly caused by trauma?”

This was the text I got from Mudenda and if things were detiorating in this manner it meant they were getting worse not better!

****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Hello Mike and readers,

Thank you for receiving my letter. I am so happy and grateful for these diaries you’ve introduced us young black girls to. May God bless you.

4 years ago my mother passed away, very ill. We (sister and her child) then went to stay with my grandmother whom I believe abused me. She sold all my mother’s belongings without our approval. She’d make me wash the laundry for 5 kids and 3 adults, clean and then cook whilst trying to study for my Grade 11 exams. I stayed strong and did as she pleased.

A year later in Grade 12, she forbid me from attending extra classes over the weekend saying that “kelo jola”. When my reports came I always had a pass with good marks at that so she said I won’t go saying that I still passed the exams without the extra classes. I defied her and went anyway, I always got a hiding after going…at 18. Imagine!!!

She crossed the line one morning when I was writing the finals when she said that I killed my mother. From that day on, I resented her, I tolerated her till I could finish my matric. I moved out following year, got a scholarship and then studied hard and now have good job, I got promoted last week and now she’s all over me. I cut all ties with her, I never even visited her at her house.

I support my unemployed sister and her 2 girls whom they threw out like a dog from home.
She (granny) is now calling me endlessly and sending me bible verse texts about death saying that she too will die soon and demanding money. She only calls me ha batla R50 as she puts it.

I tried praying for the hatred to go away but I can’t seem to forgive her.

I give her money when she asks for it, am I spoiling her or am I doing the right thing?

Please advise me.
B u b b l e s

39 thoughts on “Rumbings – Chapter Forty Four

  1. Thanks Mikeesto, daily dose… Happy Friday Fam, all the best for the weekend 🙂

    Bubbles Nana, God Forgives, I Don’t. So maybe nawe you should consider where you stand. All of a sudden bible verses are now negotiation tools to close cash deals *claps once*. That good for nothin grandma didn’t do anything for you. I doubt any ancestor would look bad upon you for returning the favour. These grannies aint loyal thou…

    Anyway I’m glad your story had a fairytale end to it, you had it rouch mntasekhaya. Remain unfazed by her stances and live life to the fullest. You are a rock.


    1. I was beginning to think you really want me to go ahead with my campaign #BringBackOurJackzorro. Glad to see you boo and welcome back

  2. nyc read mike

    bubbles- you can just only forgive her, forgiving her does not mean you must send and gave her money no just to free your soul
    remember Jesus was asked how many times must a person forgive then he replied 70X7!
    so i say to you tell her you forgave for all the wrong things she has done
    forgiving is not giving ryt? so just give her money when your heart tells you to, dnt force yourself into giving her money you not owing her anything but you owe to forgive just to free your soul, n trust me she is the one who will die with guilt inside her. grand mothers are the meant to support and love their grandchildren again i repeat FORGIVE HER

  3. By not forgiving her you’re not doing her any harm but yourself. The hatred and anger troubles you the most, it’s a heavy burden on you in a sense that she asks for money and u give her (she benefits) but you on the are bitter and all.

    The Lord’s prayer says “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive our trespass against us”.

    No matter how hard it is you have to forgive her. All the best!

  4. Thank you Mike…chapter is kinda short though. Happy friday fellow bloggers.

    Bubbles my angel. You dont have to forgive your granny, she put you through a rough patch and for what?? But ke forgiving someone does not mean you doing it for them but for yourself as well. Your anger torwards your grann will eat you up and you might just end up taking it out on someone else without you realizing it.

    As for bible verses to get money, that is juuuust extortion , she is STILL abusing you. You DO NOT have to give her a cent my angel. Just because you forgive her , thats if you you will forgive her, DOES NOT mean you have to play nice with her.

    All the best nana…

  5. Thank you Mike…happy weekend fellow bloggers 🙂

    @ Bubbles, indirectly your grandmother is the reason for your success, believe it or not ( Remember the guy in the Bible, who his brother’s wanted to kill and ended up selling him as a slave and after years they had famine and the brother turned to be their saviour?) With that said, free your heart and forgive her, but that does not necessarily mean you should give her money, do it if you can and if you want to…

    1. oh, by the way, there’s no better punishment to someone who has wronged you than being kind to them, make her squirm and that my sister will set you free.

  6. Why do i get the feeling Aurelia is hiding something, i still maintain, Faith should not take that job.

    Thanks Team Mike


    She may have ‘abused’ you as you put however, you had a roof over your head and you never went to bed hungry, today I would like to think you a young woman who can cook and clean after herself. Yes she was hard on you and for her ti blame you for your mother’s death was just wrong.

    Forgive her, then care for her as and when you feel like it cause although you feel you hate her now. Today you have graduated from university and you are doing great. Don’t let the way she treated you turn you into something you are not.

  7. Gal forgive that good for nothing granny you will be free even in your soul dear. You are not doing it 4 her do it 4ure self n tell God that even if she die no grudges attarched to u so she will rest in perfect peace kea bona dibe tsa ge dia moja

  8. Mudenda & Meladi must leave Faith alone…seriously. Aurelia is hiding something…

    Bubbles ( love your name). Your gran took care of you, yes she was harsh but she never put you out. You dont have to pay her back but you must forgive her. She will die soon or later & trust me you dont want that heavy burden with you for the rest of your life.

  9. Thank you Mike and team
    @Bubbles forgiveness frees you from all unnecessary misery – remember hate is a wasted emotion and all that energy just leaves you exhausted, for the why really. I’d advise that you forgive her – what she did to you had made you a strong person and am sure you can face life’s challenges because of your experience. Forgive her gal and never remind her of what she did; now you are successful – thank God for the streght He has given you. Now take off that weight you’re carrying around on your shoulders by forgiving her and live your life to the full. If you want to give her money do so with a pure heart and do not recent her. Let God deal with her for this is not your battle but do not stop praying and when you do don’t listen to that other voice asking if she is worth forgiving as you did not do anything to her to deserve such treatment. Just let it go my dear.
    All the best

  10. ke a leboga mike for today’s chapter,bubble my dear I think you should forgive your granny dear….but as for giving her money thats a bad thing,why must you give her money…..datz bullshit remember she didnt wnt u to succeed in life…

  11. Ok Mike, since it’s Friday today and I am in a fab mood, I am not going to complain that this chapter is short.:-(

    @Bubbles, lovie, as much as you hate your granny right now, she is partly the reason for your success. Look at it this way. If she wasn’t hard on you and you got everything you wanted on a silver plate with a silver spoon, would you be a strong woman that you are today and know that you have to stand on your own two feet to get things done? I doubt. I know it’s hard for us people to forgive but I believe that you should forgive her, not for her but for yourself. You are carrying around this burden of anger and hatred and it is going to kill you inside year by year. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to keep them in your life. My eldest sister did a lot of things to me but I forgave her for everything but we don’t even have a relationship. I sleep well at night because I don’t carry unnecessary burden while she goes around telling people how ungrateful I am to have her. She is the one dying from her own guilty conscience. My ex-best friend tried putting a halt to my getting married to my husband because of the guilt she has of me finding her shaking the brains out of my ex-boyfriend in my own bed. After all of this, I forgave them but they mean nothing to me. Yes, they can call and I will not ignore their calls. We can bump into each other and I won’t be rude to them. I have closed those chapters and I am free. So forgive that old woman and let her be. Whether you want to support her financially or not, that is up to you…

    Good Luck!!!
    Enjoy your weekend good people

  12. Bubbles,to forgive or not? It’s all up to u sweetheart, if u feel that it will make the hatred go away then do so, on a christian basis it is advised to forgive those who have done wrong against you as we are constantly being forgiven for our own sins when we repent. I personally just ignore such people and eventually get over their transgressions then move on with my life but we all have our own different ways to deal with such situations. Ur granny is just a chancer who probably feels no remorse or what so ever for what she did to you and your sister.

  13. I wish i could say forgive her, but i cant as it took me 15 good years to sit down n make my granny tea and have a meaningless chat. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. No i didnt hate her nor hold any grudge against her, she just never existed in my life. Good thing she saw me ngiryt ngijabulile konke kuhamba kahlr. As for my ount, its the 19th year now, we c each other in funerals, vut she,still doesn’t exist in my world.
    i wish i cud say forgive her if your hatred towards her bothers you.

  14. Thanks Mike! Is there a chunck of this chapter missing though? We go from the conversation with her sister to talking to someone on the phone the next morning who turns out to be Aurelia…

    Just wondering because i felt a bit lost reading it ans the chapter was super short for the norm…

    Other than that, keep up the good work! Love reading your blog!

    Hugs from Mozambique 🙂

  15. Thanks Mike.

    I am the most forgiving person and I forget, people hurt me so much, when I meet them I am so happy at them and remember later that they hurt I even have to remind myself what was the problem. Thats me but my grandmother abuses me too tlhe that woman, according to her I am the only child in the house. I have to everything, I am just like you I tried to cut all ties but I love my grandfather so deeply and sometimes I feel sorry for my grandmother because when me and her children are at work she is left to do all the house chores, her children don’t care about that but now the pain she is causing me. And when she is happy we all have to be happy, I don’t know how God created me, I am so weak and people use me, my friend always advises me to get back at them, I tried with my gran she asked me to wash some staff, I refused, I ended up feeling so bad because she stopped talking to me. I don’t know what to do with her? I have an option of renting a flat or staying with my parents but who will help her clean? I can’t believe myself.

  16. I see people saying she must forgive her granny, mara it’s not fair watseba! Nna if I was u bubbles I was gonna go and tell her my feelings then tell her to go to hell! Yho what if you had turned out to be a prostitute or just a sgidla va? Everybody would have been saying “Gogo was right! O straat mate”. Nna kere an eye for an eye. Make her suffer nje. Make her apologize infront of the whole family. Imagine being told you killed your mother, haai suka. It’s not gogo who made u be who u are today man its your perseverance. Nna nka mo lahlela ka verse were Jesus said “tloha ho Nna satane”. There is one like that akere? Lol

  17. Faith cnt u keep things in u?cos ur so cld friend is nt willing to share any of her problems with u?wat if she tels mudenda dat ur sister has a plan for meledi?mxm wa ten hlEna tjo

  18. Bubbles, Bubbles, my dear Bubbles, put the old lady at arms lenght. Give her the money when you want to. Forgive her when you are ready…..otherwise that aint forgiveness. Good night family. Don’t overdo it. Love you all.

  19. bubbles darling :* I advice you to forgive ur grandma, when you forgive her your soul will be at peace, if you can’t, pray to God to help you forgt all those things she has said and done to you and sister, when old people grow old they tend to do stuff and say stuff thats hurtful to the other party, smile, give her money and be very kind to her, and dnt regret being kind to her, two wrong don’t make a right,

  20. Thanks Mike 🙂 I am gonna be known for this.. “short chapter though” lol

    Bubbles all that I wanted to say has been said but bare in mind that an eye for an eye and the world would go blind.

    Jackzorro welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome baaack!! #singing 😀 I was ready to push campaign ka KayVee lol.

  21. Advocate Maphoto! Whal! I think H deserve that title. Iv commented twice already & I realized I omitted that gesture, In theatre – I take my hat off 4U, In d Army – UR my Commander & I salute U. Yo books R a lot beta than most books on d shelves in bookshops. Writing as an Art UR a Master @it. If U grab yo readers & mek than cry 2mo then U hav mo than achieved. I wil 4ever b indebted wth U 4not onlykeeping M company but also entertained. Keep up making us bookworms/nerds. This Nation needs that form of destruction 2keep it human & out of mischief. Iv learnt a lot from yo books & I hop others2. Thnx again Advocate & Commander!

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