Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Thirty One

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

There is one asset that a couple that are divorcing often forget to acknowledge and this is how you divide your friends between the two of you. As with all stories there are twwo sides and usually no matter how neutral your friends want to be, a side is taken. Bulelwa and Khanyi where not my friends, they were my wife’s friends and if truth be told I did not want them as my friends either. However, with the way the dice was rolling she was going to lose them too. Now that Bulelwa had thrown her out where was she going to go. Don’t get me wrong, I was totally unsympathetic, in fact I was happy that she was getting what was coming to her. I am no fool, women like Asthandile are so beautiful that getting another man hooked will not take her long at all. Thus why for me her suffering now was satisfaction enough. Bulelwa has sounded really angry when she hung up so I crossed my fingers she would follow through with it. It’s funny how far we had come since that day they came swimming and where we were now! Life I tell you.

After that phone call I called my father again and this time he did not seem to defend her nor did he bring up his so called prophet. He was shocked obviously at what I had just witnessed. I intended to burn every bridge so that I would not at any point want to take her back. Once beaten twice shy. It was already evening at this stage. I decided to go double check the gate to make sure it was locked. I did not want her in my house. When I got back I looked for Asthandile’s phone assuming that in that scuffle she had left it! No luck there though! Eish! It’s fine though. The divorce was good enough for me, no need to torture myself even more with unnecessary evidence. I had to call Khanyi though. To be honest I did not want to talk to anyone that day but i had been responsible somehow in her house burning down so I had to.

Zimasa came to me and said that Asthandile’s father had called her and asked her to do what ever it takes to make sure that I do not break up with their daughter. She said they told her not come home if she failed. I could not believe. How could they do this to a seventeen year old? We do not want to acknowledge something as black people, when you live with a relative whose parents are deceased, you tend to abuse them! Zimasa’s story was not as dire but it was similar. It did not take a genious to see that she was not Asthandile’s biological sister by the way they treated her. Now she had to do whatever it takes. How deep is that? I told her that we will talk later I have calls to make. She stood there crying as I went upstairs to call Khanyi!

“I don’t know what to do!”

She said as soon as she picked up, Khanyi that is. She had failed to get a flight back so she will have to arrive tomorrow. I was not sure what I would explain to her about exactly what had happened as face to face it was so different. She had lost everything!

“Where are you sleeping tonight?”

I lied and said I was sleeping in a hotel. How could I possibly say I was back home with all that had happened? It will be like slapping her in the face.

“When I get back I will have to call Bulelwa so that I can sleep at her place. She just tried to call me now actually but I missed the call and before I could call her you called!”

She said. O crap, I had just lied and said I am in a hotel and now most definitely if she called Bulelwa she would know that was not true. Honestly at times men tell unnecessary lies!

“I spoke to her today as well. I threw Asthandile out of my house and she ran to her place. Bulelwa called me asking if there was a way of Asthandile and I fixing things again and getting back together!”

I told her. I could always say yes, I threw her out but I could not sleep in the same house with her.

“Why did you throw her out?”

She asked a bit confused,

“I thought you said you did not want that house anymore so what were you doing there!”

That was easy,

“I had to get clothes. When I walked in I found her in bed with some small Colored boy!”

I said.

“That must be Gabriel…”

She said on her side almost instintively!

“Wait, you know him?”

I said shocked to the core! What the hell was happening here.

“Never met him but Mxolisi stop being stupid! You are a lawyer for crying out loud act like it! All those late hours you kept at the office whom do you think was entertaining your beautiful Asthandile? Why do you think she was often too lazy to get fucked by you? It is because she was already satisfied! In that very same bed you would share that night!”

She said in what came out as more of a snap! I felt the air sucked out of my room as now obviously I tried to remember how often she refused sex. It was too often to count! Sometimes however she would relent after I begged her or showered her with presents!

O Crap!

“Yes I know what you are thinking right now…”

Khanyi continued,

“Where there times you slept with her after someone else had fucked her? Right, that’s what you are thinking?”

She asked me, I did not answer but it was exactly the thought on my mind!

“Of course! All the time in fact. think of everytime you smelled dettol in your bathroom. That was your wife after a session!”

I was stunned. I could not remember Dettoll but I could remember the amount of time she rejected me!

“The point is, get the fuck over her already! It’s getting old already. You a man for crying out loud! Act like it!”

She hung up!

How did she get to be the angry one though?

*****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

You are an amazing writer. Thank you for giving us the platform to share our problems.

I am a 24 year old lady, thing is I have a problem excepting my fiance’s baggage. I met my fiance when I was 16 and he was 26 and he had a child at that time we were friends however he always wanted us to date he had issues with his baby mama and I just wasn’t ready so he waited for me when I turned 18 we started dating I was on my way to varsity but had financial problems and he insisted on paying my fees everything was good until we broke up cause he was always so jealous of my guy friends from varsity but still continued to pay. Eventually he came to his senses and we got back together he proposed paid lobola I then found out I was pregnant and we were both happy about the pregnancy. I then told his sister who seemed very concerned about the news I asked her what the problem was but she refused to tell me. This made me suspicious so I started digging and what I found out shocked me I found my fiance’s life cover policy and he had 8 children listed as his dependents they were all born a year apart from each other. I only knew of one child so I confronted him, he first denied and lied saying it’s his brothers kids then after a long fight he eventually admitted that all those kids are his and they share the same mother (the baby mama he had issues with and broke up with) He continued to tell me he has twins with another woman who he dated while we were apart.

He says he was scared to tell me because I would leave him he begged me to forgive him I told my family and they are very traditional so they called his family and they had a meeting we both attended the elders said they understand that I am hurt by him keeping this from me but I should forgive him because he made his mistakes but he loves me. They told me we should fix our relationship so I agreed to give him another chance. He has done everything for me, always been my best friend and has always supported me however I’m so scared to have his child on top of 10 other children. So how do I move on from this? I love him and we are about to get married but how do I accept this?
Thank You


Hey Guys

I hope I find you well. I would like to chat to anyone who went through a divorce or break up after a long time of dating in which they were accused of being the wrong party. This will help in developing what goes through Asthandile. Please let’s whatsapp or email if you can.

Thank You


82 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Thirty One

  1. Zimasa Bulelwa…. Asthandile.. thanks Mike for a nice Wednesday read. Have a lovely day url.. much love πŸ™‚

  2. I’m 1st on my Birthday nogal,thanx bra mike QnA Yhoo are u willing to be a mother to 8 other kids?if yes then stay it out if not then kunzima sisi wam I will wait for Jackzorro’s comment.

  3. Thanks mike.mxolisi need to finish with
    Divorce and leave asthandile’s friends alone and start his own life without people who will remind him about the past.

  4. Asthandile tjo hai i give up.She is the worst of her kind infact d word to describe has not yet been found.Q&A Sesi ifbi were you i would leave that guy,,,26 and a step mom to 9 kids if that is love then i am fine single and unloved

  5. QnA
    Your fiance has enough kids to start a soccer team… If I was you I wouldn’t go through with the wedding 10 kids?? I understand that you love him n he has done everything 4u, but sometimes love is not enough. If he had 3 kids it would be acceptable but 10 n still counting no

    You Deserve better do not settle 4 less and don’t be fooled by love, it means the baby mama does him good like no other woman n he will keep on going 2 her 4 some good sexual healing.. Take back the money n leave him, he doesn’t deserve you. By the time u come 2 ur senses he will have 20kids struu

  6. Holy crap!! That woman has been a whore from day freakin one… Yah neh, abafazi bethu!! Thanks Mikeesto, what a chapter my gawd!!

    Thandi, Firstly, how on earth did this guy think he could hide 10kids… 10, like WTF!!! I’m shocked to my core, I wanted to comment about the age gap between you two, but it don’t matter now. 10kids???

    This guy has a babymama that he made his sperm dish, made her a courier of his offspring, 8 of them. He then leaves her for you…let it sink in a little, he left his mother of 8 kids…for wena. If that’s not enough for you to walk away then brace yourself. You then separated a little, like any odd couple and he made twins with another woman???? WTF. Is this guy rich, like even that doesn’t excuse it but unless that mofo is Zuma powerful and can afford all of his football team minus one, he needs a freakin beating.

    Sisi this is too much of a luggage for a girl your age, being a step mom to Ten freakin bambinos.. How you gonna remember all their names!! I say give him his stupid ring back, his lobola too. Walk away, if he left his babymama of 8, what on the longitude and latitudes of planet earth makes you think he gon’stay with you?

    Next his gonna be taking second and third wives. Hayi hayi bububhanxa shem obu. This is unreal. And those elders are smoking greed, forgive him? Runa the hell away from that guy. You gon’have only one kid with him, atleast. Imagine you were the other babymama’s, one is two, the other has a load of 8. No one will marry that girl, he has destroyed her, run before he does it to you.


    1. Jackzorro, will you marry me? Gosh! I am so attracted to a man with a brain and actually knows how to use it. We will have our own football team and maybe with one PA and one Publicist. You really know how to work a girl with your brain…

    2. Hmmm Jackzorro…I just need to see your face and give you a big hug maybe steal a kiss or two…out of admiration and utmost respect. Sisanethemba uma kusekhona abentu besilisa abacabanga njengawe. God bless you bro. i’m truly grateful that our paths have crossed.

  7. Wow, is all I can say! But y doesn’t Asthandile reveal whatever it is about Khanyi that she is keeping from her hubby. This man though is such a hypocrite…

    A2Q: yo cc the man loves u clearly coz he is marrying u instead of the other baby-mammas, so now the ball is in your court – do some introspection, can u trully forgive, if u can, then u need to stand by your man be a firm but loving wife coz these baby-mammas will test your patience and ur relationship with ur man. Ur man sounds like a responsible father coz he provides for his kids so don’t make him part with then rather be a woman who unites the family.
    But if u can’t deal with the pressure and challenge of being a virtuous woman, speak now before u make a commitment to God and all those witnesses. Just remember, whatever relationship, married or not, ther will always be some kind of challenge, include God in whatever u do.

  8. Hey Thandi

    There is nothing as painful ad being lied to. in all honesty, sit down and think carefully and be objective when making decision about your future with your fiancΓ©.

    few questions to consider
    1. if he lied about his children, what more else is he lying about?
    2. if he had children while you were together dating, what makes you certain that when you are married that he will not continue spreading his seed all over ( I am not being judgemental) ?
    3. do you feel you owe this guy because he paid your fees?
    4. if you trying to sort out your problems, are you doing it for yourself or to make the elders happy?
    5. are you ready to share the rest of your life with the person you do not trust?
    6. are you willing to accept his ten children as you own, because once you are married they are yours, and you are going to deal with baby mama issues and maintenance?
    7. most important, does your happiness come first?

    you are young, you can start again and find another guy who will love, value and who will make you happy

  9. QnA yemama…10 kidz.. a year apart.. tjooo. Im already thinking of d mini club seyisesikolweni… the fees, d mad rush in ur home, ur stress cz of ol deze step kiddoz, havin ubreliable nannies n changing dem ol d tym cz no one wants to nanny 10 kids one man.. tjooo. gossshhh.. sisi mine il advice ka wat id hv dun in ur situation. . Run d opposite direction.. ngibaleke ngenyawo zombili. Break off dat engagement uzihlalele- I doubt hel b in a good position of payin u reasonable maintenance for urls child. 10 kids are expensive n he clearly hadnt planned for dem well in advance financially. Its gona b ur burden nje adding to ur stress. so wena brace urself ukuba yi single parent n fend for ur lil one uwedwa..who knows .. an awesome Tidimalo wil cum along n love u wit ur 1 kid , marry u n u live happily eva after without “10 kids stress”.

  10. LMAO… Dead a burried by the “longitude and latitudes of planet earth” Jackzozo you are thee best… Anywho how does one manage to have 10 kids in this day and age…seriously the guys must be rich… If I were you sisi I would walk out of that relation, 10 kids is too much. Ask yourself this, if it is you who had those kids with another man, would he stick around, I doubt so. All the best sisi, you know what is good for you, I am sure you will make the right decision the one that is best for you.

  11. Astha i have no words… Beauty with no brains neh? never know when they have the right guy.

    Q_A Jackzorro laid it out for you just the way it is. REALITY CHECK… My love dankie but no Thank you. i can deal with two but not 10 TEN TEN….. is he for Real? I wonder what his Status is? I think you should go get tested as well coz clearly he has never heard of a condom in his life… but who are we.., Ke wa gago motho o. You alone know him. you alone know the answer…. PRAY HARD GIRL. PRAY HARD.

  12. Dear Thandi,

    I got a headache just by reading your fiance’s shenanigans… shuuu girl, at 24 step mom to 10? Ya ne banna ba di dira dintho kamontle.

    Think about the village this man has left at his baby mama’s house, yet he has not made an honest woman out of her, if that isn’t enough, he goes and fathers 2 more kids with someone else. It’s quite evident that this man ne a e godisetsa wena but that’s neither here nor there? Just think about the troubles your marriage will have, maintenance to 2 households outside your own, schoool holidays kids want to visit their dad, birthday parties and presents, varisity fees etc. You’ll certainly need to be super patient and accepting of a whole lot.

    End it while you still can, you’re young and can still find someone who will not age you let alone make you a step mom to 10 kids at 24. If you add yours in the mix, you can literally have a soccer team of your own. hai ngeke. Good luck sisi

    I am Zama

  13. Thandi does ur boyfriend ever use a condom? u break up nje kancane sekanama twins yhoh hai I shuld b more concerned about my health if i were u!!

    10 kidz though dats too bloody phucken much buggage hle bayolalaphi when dey visit?

    being a step mom 2 only 1 child is a problem let alone to 8 of a same mother u will never b happy shem dey will always blame u for their mother and father not being together.

    hai dis guy must somaar sort thingz out wit bby mama number 1 hle for god sake even if its not for love but for the kids no man

    I always here guyz say dey with their partners for de sake of the kidz i always thought crap but dis 1 must go back 4 de sake of de kids i support 100%

  14. Tjo! tjo! tjo!! Asthandile mara you are a disgrace to the woman folk shuuu hai ngeke!

    Thandi cc you even ask if you should stay?? 10 kids??? 8 with the same woman he “broke” up with to be with you??? And you still ask??? Do you feel obligated to stay because he paid for your education and wants to marry you instead of her?? I just have no words for this one. How does he justify making 7 more babies with the very same baby mama he had issues with, before you even started dating? I can excuse the one woman with twins coz you guys were apart but tjo 7 kids with the woman he broke up with?? Was he trying to prove something by not using protection at least??? Did he not consider you or your feelings in all this?? If he was afraid of telling you due to the possibility of you dumping him, should he not at least have stopped sleeping with this woman at baby no2?? Sorry for the 100 questions I am sure I am not helping but this is just mind gobbling. I’d say go the opposite direction cc unless you can really handle all this drama that is about to unfold in your household. You need God’s intervention on this one. And I wish you all the best.

  15. QnA leave that man for his baby mamas,she needs him more than you,don’t do it for money you will never be happy,you are a kid yourself,u should be excited for your own baby,he will abuse you dismally,run for your life it’s for the good coarse,remember She needs Him more than you need Him…..don’t be selfish on this one,let it pass

  16. Thandi I have 1 word for you…RUN!!! if you feel guilty about the fees set up a debit order and pay him back….you will never have peace with that man, you’re young live a little, those kids are going to age you…But if you decide to carry on (which I am totally against) he must get a vasectomy.

  17. 10 step-children at the age of 24? Ok not my place to judge though. I wish to advise but I’m afraid I might be harsh so I’ll ask to keep my opinion to myself. Jerrrr!!!!

  18. dis guy owes dis baby mama a house fully paid for shem hai no 8 kidz????

    banenzalo shem bobabili dey deserve each other how do u get pregnant every year ukungazithandi noma ukungabi ne life?

  19. Thandi cc, having a child is a lot of harder work, yes filled with many happy moments, but requires a lot of emotion maturity and stability. With that said, do you think you have what it takes to deal with your own bundle of Joy as well as the other 10? keeping in mind that you are 24yrs old and most probably working fulltime.

    Can you honestly say to yourself you can forgive this guy who found it sooo easy to keep the 9 children a secret for soooo long?

    Umshado sonke siyawufisa, but akungahlanganiswa neEmotional abuse.

    uThando is pure and never or rather should never knowingly intene to hurt or harm anyone.

    Families are always quick to say forgive and work it out, ekubeni bona themselves would never stand for such.

    Cabangela wena nengane yakho…take time off and go away think undisturbed, meditate and pray and most assuredly you will find the answer.

    Wishing you all the strength you need to deal with this.

  20. Nice one Mikey…as always
    QnA Hai Thandi, your man pees babies shem, I am sure there are more that went down the toilet.. Run and never look back. You don’t have to repay him, he is your baby daddy too. You do not owe him anything. I wish that woman that bore 8 kids should stop opening her legs to him because obviously when he sees her, he only see a public toilet where he relieves himself.

  21. Aybo this Asthandile.Ngavele ngaphathwa ikhanda I mean ubenza umuzi I brothel?ooooh my….oh my.jst dnt knw wht to say.dnt knw wht ill du if I was Mxolisi lyk uletha amadoda embheden wam endlin yam she couldn’t even afford I shidi u Asthandile.awuuuu am so down for days

  22. Lol..Dettol??? Does that thing really work? I’ve often heard stories. Ladies? Bra Mike ra leboga.

    Q&A haibo! My eyes must be deceiving me. 10 kids? No girl. You and your child deserve better and a whole lot more. My boyfriend has one kid and I’m kinda terrified of the future, I’m still trying to adjust. So wena geh ka 10 kids. Baleka sisi! Thandi & Bazooka plus 11 and counting. This man is really being unfair on you, he can’t expect you to be step mommy to 10 kids. Are you comfortable with having only one kid because I don’t think it’s wise for him to have anymore kids. Give him back his lobola and keep it marching.

  23. Thanks Team…
    A to Q: BALEKA NGENYAWO ZOMBILI!!!! Run Thandi, run… 10 step children and you’re not even 30 years old. They say love is blind, BUT YOU ARE NOT BLIND, AND YOU CAN SEE AND COUNT!!! 1,2,…10!!! Hell No!!

  24. Hey Mike, Jackzorro is stealing your show with the ladies, we all want to read his comments, I am also so fond of his writing. A to Q I am known to be a strong defender of imishado but uma ungakangeni I am always in support that ladies you should run away for your dear life. Kunzima we know better and if we can save you from misery for those abangakangeni we will do so.

    Baleka sisi uJehova ube nawe, I think the guy has made you depend on his money but usangaxebuka sisi iba yinde indlela kwaleyomali ingase iphele ngendlela as responsibilities mount.

    Hope you will speak to your mind to speak to your heart eventually you will get over it. All the best.

  25. Um……ay bra mike mase udlal kanjen ngamaqiniso really its really bad…ummmh thing are really getting bad for this lady even her friends are bad mouthing her all her secret are out ….dankie bra

  26. Keitu and ladies.. ngicela usizo bantu.. wats with d dettol hle.. yenzani ?? Help me im lost.. doz it perhaps work lyk d “joko teas”..??

  27. Actually Thandi your fiancee and his baby mama deserve each other, they are made from the same cloth ngoba indoda esile kwayona ngabe kade yabalekela isinyemfu esizalela indoda bengashadile bayizinyemfu bonke musa ukuba ingxenye yoxamu bayeke babhaxulane.

  28. I love me some Jackzorro, what happened to the request for his photo? We must start a petition, if we won’t get a photo, can I please be told what he does for a living (the Psychologist in me won’t let it rest). Jackzorro, your thinking is fascinating, it’s not what you say but how you say it, such a realist. We can do with more of your kind.

    QnA for someone who’s been to varsity,eduated I mean, you should know what to do. Run as fast as you can. Clearly the man you fell for is not what he really is. If you do end up marrying him, you will regret it. He will demand that you take care of his “lot” since well he paid for your fees. He’s not worth the heartache you will suffer if you are to stay.

    All the best

  29. Q&A…mmmhhh dear sister…run! 10 kids!!! I dont imagine you ever being happy in your marriage…hhay kabi. That man needs to go back to the woman he has given 8 kids, why is he leaving her now..uthi akashonephi with so many kids? Kids grow fast and I promise you, they will see you as a bad person ohlukanise their parents…yena lo boet unayo nje imali yokondla this soccer squad and you? I think you will live a better life with just you and your child…akhokhe isondlo nje u brothas!

  30. Nice read Mike! LolLLlll Kayvee, u wanna be Jackzoro’s second wife lollll. True a man wit brains is sooooooooooooo attractive n sexy

  31. haibo,

    Has anyone stop to think why on earth did that 1st woman fall pregnent over and over? haibo, some do it with the hope the man has to eventually marry them, but if he dont ask you the first time, second time, he obviously dont love you the same way….

    Both these woman and the Mr baby-maker should take responsibility here or is it just the man that you , or we as woman willingly open our legs for to take the blame? If he looks like a dog, smell like a dog, act like a dog he’ll stay a dog so having willingly babies from a dog wont change him into a tiger.

  32. eish thandi my frnd this is too much for you @your age

    jst imagine 10 kids plus ur own… meaning u’ll have to budget–
    1. 11 birthday parties and presents, every month its a birthday celebration.
    2. and school fees and lunch boxes…
    eish ur man is giving me a head-ache as if he’s mine
    I dnt wanna go further… but think carefully thandi plzzzz

  33. Hi Mike
    But how does Khanyi know everything about Asithandile,because even friends don’t tell each other each and every little thing we do especially when you’re cheating.

  34. I think I’m falling for A Xhosa guy!!!!Jackzorro da way u put comment, leaves me blushing. @ da office they alwayz complain when reading Mikes n all yo comments. Mmmmmmhhhhhhh a Xhosa Yum Yum nje bathong

  35. Nolucci, apparently there is a belief amongst women that Dettol pulls the vagina back after sex so that the next in line will not feel that you have just been laid. I am not sure how far true though sesingezwa ngabantu abakwi medical profession.

    1. Wait a second LMAO!!! Dettol? Like the old school liquid dettol? LMAO! Woman aint loyal though. I’ve heard about coke(cola) and iceblocks being inserted down there, but Dettol?!!!!! LOL iyhooor.

      Mike this would make an interesting discussion after a post sometime in future πŸ™‚

  36. Q my dear.. thanks now im followin.. lol m not so lost anymore. Hahaha, thanks again Mike for d platform a.k.a class to increase our knowledge spectrum..

  37. In 2008 i was madly in love with a man with 5 kids from 5 different mothers. The guy is unemployed and has no education further than Grade 12. He graduated from the University of Hustling and thats how he makes money. We broke up due to distance among other things. In 2014 he briefly hooked up again to find out he had a 6th child from a 6th woman. My point is that i loved him despite his 6 kids and a part of me still does. Not that his kids didnt bother me, i thought of maintenance, school fees, varsity fees etc and how our household will be left broke every month. But that wasnt enough to put me off cos i really loved the guy.

    Yes he was irresponsible and still is but love conquers all. If you really love him i dont see how you cant make it work. Love is unconditional. Its not like you gonna live this those 10 kids everyday. If he can afford to take care of his 10 kids plus you and the one on the way then where is the problem? Just dont expect to be rich when he dies cos already there are 10 kids who are beneficiaries. People are so quick to judge which is very wrong, who is judging us for our mistakes? No one is perfect and no one is a saint not even you Thandi. If you love him i say go for it. Children are a blessing, they could have aborted all of them but they didnt. 10 kids is not a train smash there are worse things out there than having 10 kids.

  38. Hilly mara?? if 10 kids are not a train smash then what is??? I mean Thandi is 24!24! she has her whole life ahead of her, Thandi pls hook up nontanga bakho sisi.

  39. yoh sisi give dat man his ring and lobola back.If u want 2 have no peace then carry on with that marriage.Once u get married jst know his baggage will b ur baggage..Jst know dat his life revolves around them fully and once ur married ur household will b run according 2 there needs.The money he earns will 1st b given 2 them before ur own household and i bet u will end up like a single mother in a marriage.Baby momma of 8 will always b there and will make ur life a living hell.Things will become worse for u when dat man dies and if u die 1st ur child will b left in tremoil so please live dat man and raise ur unborn child alone dat will b best for both of u

  40. Yoh!!! Q& A everybody has said a mouthful here but best advice ever #WALK AWAY , dude has no respect for you or whatsoever clearly you guys are having unprotected sex since you preggies what next HIV? dont be a part of the statistics dear nothing wrong with starting a new leaf in your life , yes love is strange and beautiful at the same time but dont put yourself through endless pain remember that one sided expectations destroys the mind ….nothing more to say

  41. Your fiance is very fertile yet very stupid shem, but the babies momma is even worse shem. How do you fall pregnant 8time, for a man ongakushadile? On my count you have dated about 8years, so da baby maker knew about you but still fell preggies multiple times, she hates you. So whatever u decide on ryt now, just bare in mind ukuthi u r hated by her, myb alethe her 8’s to live wth ya’ll senishadile, n she wud come visit ahambe esemithi unumber 9.
    n remember sthandwa sami, this guy never made any mistake, he did it coz he wanted to, no mistake is repeated kangaka dali, clearly when ever he needs comfort he goes to dis woman banikezane ingane. Can u imagine how warm it is when evisit abantwana? I mean the 8 around n dad, wow. This guy takes care of his kids ryt, n m sure as hell he loves spending time wth them.
    Back at u now, where do u c yourself in this equation? U can never deny him taking care of his own n spending time wth. Who is happy here? U or the elders nakhona ngoba money/lobola ws involved? You r very young, zibheke la ozifaka khona ngekhanda. Let rather decide ngalempilo ongase uyiphile.
    all the best cc.

  42. mxolisi what do you expect? giving a women everything its not enough they want sex then everything.

    thandi baby girl the guy waited for you until you turned 18 took you to varsity, and proposed to you…how many here are wishing for this..the guy has a life policy clearly it shows he’s responsible how many here that have put their 2cents the baby daddies are nowhere to seen at least this one does’nt run away from his team.

    the guy does clearly love you and you better be step mom of 20 and be happy than be a mother of 2 and be unhappy for the rest off your life…being happy comes first and the guy does make you happy. and i doubt that you find someone who will make you happy as this guy….

    Inconclution constractive criticisim is welcomed but some people just exposes the anger and uhappieness in the pain of others.

  43. Lol how many tyms dd u smel da dettol in ur bathroom dat was afta every session yho mxo married 2 emahosh tjo a disgrace 2 woman kind ngeke astha akavale imlenze useyivule kakhulu

  44. So the guy has 10 kids with different women. Atleast its not 10 different women. yes I agree that children are blessings kodwa hayi he should be taught about the different contraceptives we have in our country. The one with 8 kids naye she should have demanded that he marrries her after the first if not the second kid. 8 kids and no ring?? iyoh!

    hayi i wont tell you what to do kodwa I have a feeling that you are going to stick around. goodluck with the baby mama drama.

    i hope for your sake the man is well off okanye you will starve! 11 kids??? i’m complaining about the petrol increase and people are busy popping out kids like tic tacs!

  45. Haibo! Kanti during lobola negotiations the uncles never mentioned anything about mchana being the father of 10? Haike these uncles aren’t loyal bathong!!!

  46. How do you do Bra Mike, this is my first post since I started reading your books which is since you started posting them. Anywho buddah, awesome work, keep doing what you doing (writting more) and I shall keep reading more.

    I think Asthandile is addicted to sex that one as well attention disorder (if there is such a disorder) and buddah is not giving enough. Its about time he became a man and take the bull by the horn

  47. Mike,you good brother. Jackzorro,hi! How you doing?
    QnA : 10 kids? Are you ready for this? Are you ready for the drama. You really can’t expect that woman to let you walk away with that guy just like that. I’m no drama queen but 8 kids will bring out “Asthandile” in me

  48. Moer 10 kidz….yaa its rough out there…So clearly the guy doesn’t understand the concept of Condom….As for the Girl pls Do what makes U happy…*Shockd*….@mike this blog is awesome and the comment from your readers takes it to the extreme shem

  49. Talk about a boom thrown at Mxolisi at his worst moment. Mike I smell something, its a blog on being a house wife. Shame maan i feel sorry for him, Asthandile has always been a whore yho.

    A-Q 10 kids? Damn at 24! Le ge bare love is blind, walk away baby girl.

  50. How many kids???? Joh!!! Aowa tlhe!!! Ousi, put on ur running shoes and run as far as ur feet can carry u. Eo ke 1 hell of a disaster. Joh! Azange!!! Motho wago wa tsenwa. Santse go nale motho o etsang bana ba ba kana??? 1 child is very expensive. 10?? Gah! U’ll b ok on ur own. U don’t owe him a thing for putting u through school. He shed hav thought o tlo ikutlwa jang when u find out. I still say, Gah!!!! Tshwanetse a itshwabele. Ousi le ene wa go pepa ga ntsi so wa tsenwa, does she value herself? Joh! Mashwe hela!!!

  51. Thanx Mike
    Q&A..Thandi first of al i think u shud put urslf in baby mama shoes n imagine hw she must b feelin afta given birth to 8 kids fr de man who den jst decided to go n lobola sum1 else..wat wud u hv done if u were her nw,n clearly de guy ddnt wait fr u coz he ws buzy makin babies behind ur bck…my advise is that as foolish as de baby mama might hv acted she ws nt alone bt ur man ws by her side nt advising her to go to de clinic or use a protection so in dat she deserve hm mor dan u bcoz of de foolishness dey both got demslvs in sooo jst let go

  52. He had 10 kids while u were his gf and he will have 10 MORE if you continue with this relationship. 10 is a very big number dear.

  53. A to Q (2nd time). So Thandi is 24 and fiance / boyfriend is 34 and already has 10 children. At 34 the guy already has 10 kids with one on the way. Asibuyele to this babymamma… Is she right upstairs? Which woman in their sane mind gives birth so many times out of wedlock? Even in marriage, 8 kids is TOO MUCH in today’s economy. Hhayi ngeke I have to agree with the others: fiance and babymamma deserve each other, indeed bayizinyemfu bobabili…

  54. Hilly and Volovolo nidlalelani ngengane, love is not enough ukuthi ingamelana nalama dramas azokwenzeka kulomshado, this child izothwala unnecessarily.

  55. Kayvee we are all waiting in line for JackZorro… Or if not can he give my so called bf tutorials hle…

    Bathong mara asthandile yena ha rapellwa.. And its just to have guys like Mxo fucked…a man that will worship the ground u walk on hay ….

    QnA .. Girl mara bana bai ten though..? Huuu ache death by u won’t remember the names mara regardless of what this man did for you I just feel your man is a serial sadist and doesn’t give a fuxk about anybody

  56. Yho Thixo Asthandile……hay asthandile nyhani eso sitya sakho lamadoda…angena ephuma nje….lol…hay unalento kuthiwa yimpene uAsthandile ngekhe…

    QnA..Thandi sisi inzima into okuyo but you the only one who has an answer to that….I was once in a situation like that, where I knew only one child when I dated the guy, by the time we were engaged and had our own son…5 more showed up….I made a decision to leave him, even though I was pressured to leave him but I took my time but I knew I wanted out, even though its not easy to leave when u financially unstable….but its a decision u have to make as a woman and for ur child…

  57. Wow Lalla Lee, speaking like a matured and very sweet woman…..a woman of virtue.

    To you potential possible mom of 8, run away cc as fast as you can. Dealing with step kids is not a child’s play, let alone the bitter baby mama of 8 (idiot, what was she thinking. Ok, its none of my beeswax coz kids are a blessing from the Almighty. Kodwa ke isibhanxa sisibhanxa qha). The step kids will always be on their mothers side. You are not ready for that drama and performance of a bitter baby mama and 8 step kids versus you. This chap might loving and generous but at your age this is too much for you. When these kids get pregnant you need to be there as their mother, give them emotional support and what have you. Are you ready to be a granny at your age coz one way or the other you will be a granny. You’ve got to be there, smiling and loving at their price giving ceremonies, at their cricket matches, imbeleko, circumsition, etc. Have you ever thot about STIs and HIV because to me it seems like each time you guys are going through any kind of a predicament this chap will always go fuck his baby mama of 8 to make 9 or 10 if they make twins. Yhaa neh, that’s our South African brothers, so narrow minded and irresponsible!

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