There is one asset that a couple that are divorcing often forget to acknowledge and this is how you divide your friends between the two of you. As with all stories there are twwo sides and usually no matter how neutral your friends want to be, a side is taken. Bulelwa and Khanyi where not my friends, they were my wife’s friends and if truth be told I did not want them as my friends either. However, with the way the dice was rolling she was going to lose them too. Now that Bulelwa had thrown her out where was she going to go. Don’t get me wrong, I was totally unsympathetic, in fact I was happy that she was getting what was coming to her. I am no fool, women like Asthandile are so beautiful that getting another man hooked will not take her long at all. Thus why for me her suffering now was satisfaction enough. Bulelwa has sounded really angry when she hung up so I crossed my fingers she would follow through with it. It’s funny how far we had come since that day they came swimming and where we were now! Life I tell you.
After that phone call I called my father again and this time he did not seem to defend her nor did he bring up his so called prophet. He was shocked obviously at what I had just witnessed. I intended to burn every bridge so that I would not at any point want to take her back. Once beaten twice shy. It was already evening at this stage. I decided to go double check the gate to make sure it was locked. I did not want her in my house. When I got back I looked for Asthandile’s phone assuming that in that scuffle she had left it! No luck there though! Eish! It’s fine though. The divorce was good enough for me, no need to torture myself even more with unnecessary evidence. I had to call Khanyi though. To be honest I did not want to talk to anyone that day but i had been responsible somehow in her house burning down so I had to.
Zimasa came to me and said that Asthandile’s father had called her and asked her to do what ever it takes to make sure that I do not break up with their daughter. She said they told her not come home if she failed. I could not believe. How could they do this to a seventeen year old? We do not want to acknowledge something as black people, when you live with a relative whose parents are deceased, you tend to abuse them! Zimasa’s story was not as dire but it was similar. It did not take a genious to see that she was not Asthandile’s biological sister by the way they treated her. Now she had to do whatever it takes. How deep is that? I told her that we will talk later I have calls to make. She stood there crying as I went upstairs to call Khanyi!
“I don’t know what to do!”
She said as soon as she picked up, Khanyi that is. She had failed to get a flight back so she will have to arrive tomorrow. I was not sure what I would explain to her about exactly what had happened as face to face it was so different. She had lost everything!
“Where are you sleeping tonight?”
I lied and said I was sleeping in a hotel. How could I possibly say I was back home with all that had happened? It will be like slapping her in the face.
“When I get back I will have to call Bulelwa so that I can sleep at her place. She just tried to call me now actually but I missed the call and before I could call her you called!”
She said. O crap, I had just lied and said I am in a hotel and now most definitely if she called Bulelwa she would know that was not true. Honestly at times men tell unnecessary lies!
“I spoke to her today as well. I threw Asthandile out of my house and she ran to her place. Bulelwa called me asking if there was a way of Asthandile and I fixing things again and getting back together!”
I told her. I could always say yes, I threw her out but I could not sleep in the same house with her.
“Why did you throw her out?”
She asked a bit confused,
“I thought you said you did not want that house anymore so what were you doing there!”
That was easy,
“I had to get clothes. When I walked in I found her in bed with some small Colored boy!”
“That must be Gabriel…”
She said on her side almost instintively!
“Wait, you know him?”
I said shocked to the core! What the hell was happening here.
“Never met him but Mxolisi stop being stupid! You are a lawyer for crying out loud act like it! All those late hours you kept at the office whom do you think was entertaining your beautiful Asthandile? Why do you think she was often too lazy to get fucked by you? It is because she was already satisfied! In that very same bed you would share that night!”
She said in what came out as more of a snap! I felt the air sucked out of my room as now obviously I tried to remember how often she refused sex. It was too often to count! Sometimes however she would relent after I begged her or showered her with presents!
“Yes I know what you are thinking right now…”
“Where there times you slept with her after someone else had fucked her? Right, that’s what you are thinking?”
She asked me, I did not answer but it was exactly the thought on my mind!
“Of course! All the time in fact. think of everytime you smelled dettol in your bathroom. That was your wife after a session!”
I was stunned. I could not remember Dettoll but I could remember the amount of time she rejected me!
“The point is, get the fuck over her already! It’s getting old already. You a man for crying out loud! Act like it!”
She hung up!
How did she get to be the angry one though?
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
You are an amazing writer. Thank you for giving us the platform to share our problems.
I am a 24 year old lady, thing is I have a problem excepting my fiance’s baggage. I met my fiance when I was 16 and he was 26 and he had a child at that time we were friends however he always wanted us to date he had issues with his baby mama and I just wasn’t ready so he waited for me when I turned 18 we started dating I was on my way to varsity but had financial problems and he insisted on paying my fees everything was good until we broke up cause he was always so jealous of my guy friends from varsity but still continued to pay. Eventually he came to his senses and we got back together he proposed paid lobola I then found out I was pregnant and we were both happy about the pregnancy. I then told his sister who seemed very concerned about the news I asked her what the problem was but she refused to tell me. This made me suspicious so I started digging and what I found out shocked me I found my fiance’s life cover policy and he had 8 children listed as his dependents they were all born a year apart from each other. I only knew of one child so I confronted him, he first denied and lied saying it’s his brothers kids then after a long fight he eventually admitted that all those kids are his and they share the same mother (the baby mama he had issues with and broke up with) He continued to tell me he has twins with another woman who he dated while we were apart.
He says he was scared to tell me because I would leave him he begged me to forgive him I told my family and they are very traditional so they called his family and they had a meeting we both attended the elders said they understand that I am hurt by him keeping this from me but I should forgive him because he made his mistakes but he loves me. They told me we should fix our relationship so I agreed to give him another chance. He has done everything for me, always been my best friend and has always supported me however I’m so scared to have his child on top of 10 other children. So how do I move on from this? I love him and we are about to get married but how do I accept this?
I hope I find you well. I would like to chat to anyone who went through a divorce or break up after a long time of dating in which they were accused of being the wrong party. This will help in developing what goes through Asthandile. Please let’s whatsapp or email if you can.