Have you ever noticed that for many people when you are unlucky in love you are almost always unlucky in so many other things. I don’t know how quite to explain the bad luck that comes with being in bad relationship. Perhaps it is the fact that you are always angry, sad, crying or fighting your partner that makes you make bad life choices. Truth be told, marrying that person was a bad life choice on its on no wonder why I felt like such a failure now for marrying Asthandile. I am guilty of being a typical unoriginal black man who seeks beauty, yellowbones, big ass before brains. Yes am part of that shallow minded South African middle class black men who think light skin is beautiful before checking the substance in it! Asthandile was only doing what she was always bound to do…cheat! This yellowbones are a problem! They are constantly told how beautiful they are hence it gets to their head that they can get whomever they want and and usually “whomever” is limited to the more money the better! What of Nokwanda Ngwenya though? What was her crime? This man had ruined her.
As fate would have she too had been rushed to Groote Schuur where my wife was. They were not in the same section though. Again I asked for directions and eventually I found where they had put her. Hospitals are so depressing I tell you. My wife was here and I had not seen her and here I was off to see the wife of what should be my enemy and the very same woman who had put my own wife here in the first place. This was a bit twisted. I felt more sorry for her than I did for my own wife and that did not make sense to me no matter how justified I thought I was. With no friends and her family so far away I am certain Asthandile must have been feeling so alone right now! She deserves it I guess, I don’t know! When I got to Nokwanda’s room her husband was there. I guess they had found him after all. Initially I decided to make a U turn but because I was already here and she was my client after all I went to see her.
“What do you want? This is my wife stay away?”
He asked me when he saw me! The nerve of this man! He was actually angry and I could see he was crying the hypocrite!
“Did you stay away from my wife? Did you not make her your scuftin?”
I asked him with an I don’t give a shit attitude. I think that just provoked him even more!
“Look here man, why are you so angry? I was not the only man fucking her and you know it. We all shared her. You could not satisfy her meaning you most certainly did not own her!”
He said standing up to me. I really wanted to punch him again but we were here in the hospital there were too many witnesses! I let him run his mouth a while longer!
“You need to get off your high horse! You slept with both Khanyi and Lindiwe!”
He said which made me raise my eyebrows,
“Oh, you think I didn’t know? Of course I knew. Everytime I fucked your wife she would say so! I would make her say your name when I fucked her just for her to know how so fucken worthless you are!”
This man was on a roll,
“I know you want to punch me, or her for that matter but that will never change all the nasty things I did to her! Not one thing nor will it change the fact that you cheated too! You go around angry, chest pumped out like aa peacock when other men are handling your pride and joy!”
Too late! Before he said anything else I punched him so hard breaking two of his front teeth! It’s what he wanted! I walked in to see his wife. Even if she was pregnant she was not pretty enough to have wanted to revenge fuck so again this bastard had one over me. He was right about one thing though, I too had cheated on my wife yet I had made her crimes seem worse than mine! Oh well, she was not born with a dick and society and other women judge her worse than me.
That policeman had not been lying! It was bad. She looked as though she had been beaten up so how could he have said she had an accident. She had definitely been stabbed in the stomach but from what I think I noticed they had stabilized her. There was a glimmer of hope. I decided to leave and go see my own wife. Seeing this woman had just made me sad. I walked past the motormouth and he was bleeding through the mouth. He did not approach me again and I think it was so he could save his other teeth. Initially I had planned not too Asthandile but now here it was harder than I though when I first looked at her. She had bandages everywhere and all I could see were the eyes.
“You can’t see me like this!”
She said as soon as I walked in and she turned around. I could hear she was crying but I could not see the tears.
“Please leave Mxolisi please leave! I have nothing to live for now. It’s my fault not yours so no need to lecture me!”
She said yet I had not said anything at all. In fact she was the one who had done all the talking. Seeing her helpless like this made my heart so painful. She was still my wife after all. It was my turn to have tears flow down my face. My phone rang and my first thought was Zimasa! Eish I had forgotten about her. I picked up without checking. It was a man’s voice! It was my wife’s boss!
How did he get my number and what the fuck did he want?
“I hope you are happy! My wife just died!”
He said on the other side crying. I was tempted to say,
“You can have mine!”
But this was actually very sad!
Was this karma for what she had done to Asthandile?
Thank you for providing the platform. I sent a letter to you sometime in December but I don’t think you posted it so I have decided to send it again.
I know my letter is all over but here it is.
I am a 23 year old lady, this is my second year working. I am dating a 34 year old man and we have been together for about 8 months now. I gave my virginity to him because I was ready after we took an HIV test together. I love him so much and I know he loves me just as much if not more. If he had the money I have no doubt he would have paid lobola already. Beginning of this year we decided to share a flat, to save on rent because he slept at my place every night anyway! So we doing the whole vat n sat and I’m enjoying that most times.
So he earns less than me. He is the one who decided to show me his payslip, I never showed him mine. He also has 2 kids and he supports them. The 7 year old is at a good school which my bf pays for, and the 3 year old at creche. The 7 year old’s mother is not much of a problem but because she doesn’t work she is always asking for money for shoes, for lunchbox, for tracksuits and all that stuff, which we think she uses on herself. She has 4 kids from different fathers. Sometimes I send her the money for lunchbox but only if I want to. The 2 year old’s mother is more of a problem. My bf started talking about not feeling ok and stuff and went to see a sangoma. Apparently the sangoma told him it was the 2 year old’s mother bewitching him because if she can’t have him she would rather have him dead. So now he is spending money on this sangoma trying to get rid of whatever she put on him. I don’t really believe in all the witch stuff but I have tried to be as supportive as I can. But I do get worried that if she finds out about me she would bewitch me as well and if we ever get married how will I ever feel comfortable having the child visit when I don’t know if she’s bringing some muthi or whatever with her from her mother.
Now my bf is always broke, yes he helps with buying food, he pays half of the rent and stuff but whenever I ask that we go out I must pay because he doesn’t have money. I don’t like this, I don’t mind paying for my own entertainment but I don’t wanna pay for a grown man (yes I’m that stingy). I have a single mother that I am helping build a house but I still put aside money for fun. Another thing, I bought a flat which we will be moving into in June but my bf seemed negative about it in the first place and I ended up not telling him about the progress on it. I just don’t know how he will react to paying me rent for staying in my flat. I’m just afraid that this whole money issue will be a problem for us in the future.
Lately I’ve just been founding myself wanting to leave the relationship, I just feel like I’m too young for all this. Yes I’ve dated guys my age but they seemed immature for me and I’m not sure if all this has to do with the age difference. Should I really stay with this man?