Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Five

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

I am not a violent man. In fact I find violence as the lowest form of humanity and should be the last resort. Some see it as weak I guess but for me fighting is the last thing I want. What for? We are so much better if we make love and not war! Dalu had crossed a line. Fine he never got into the kind of trouble that he would need my back up on but I am certain I would never throw him under the bus the way he had done me. If I needed help making excuses I would have asked him for it not as opposed to him not knowing what’s good for me. I hated this. One woman had turned my life upside down. He knocked again and I told him to go away. He listened. Left alone to my thoughts I now had to worry about Lindiwe’s family. I was going to tell them straight up that I did not have money to pay damages because the truth is we never had sex. Ok that argument sounds like an excuse and won’t work. I was going to tell them that the baby was not mine how on earth did they come to that conclusion? That sounded better. Had she told them that I was her baby daddy? In the morning I went for breakfast where I found my boss and Dalu there. I could not possibly sit alone so I had to go and join them. It was so awkward. My boss immediately told me how Dalu had been stupid enough to assume he could take a walk in Jhb at night because someone tried to mug him. He had been punched in his efforts but nothing was stolen. He had not run to snitch on me then because if he had I am certain I would have been fired. With that said breakfast was just sombre. We all did not know what to say to each other I actually looked forward to going to the funeral. Eventually we got done and left.

When we got there my boss introduced us as from work. Someone went to call her brother because we had been expected as we had a part to play in the program. When they came to us, me especially because my boss had walked a short distance with Dalu to great some colleague that had flown on their own colleague from Cape Town. Even the union had sent a representative. The brothers were big. Forgive me I must correct myself, they were huge! How on earth were these two gorillas born out of a woman? I looked at the mother, a tiny woman to be honest and honestly God is great! They looked like Nigerian bouncers and what’s worse is that one introduced himself as Judas which just killed it. Did this tiny woman name her child Judas? It’s a good thing he was big then because with a name like that he would get beat up every day in a white school! I managed not to laugh as I steadied myself after this bad decision I had made agreeing to come here. I have expected the other brother to be called Iscariot when he introduced himself as Lance. Yeah I know, from Judas to Lance! Speechless!

“I am surprised you came. Most people in your situation would not have come!”

The one called Judas said. Now that simply was not going to help the situation. He was being nice to me.

“Can we discuss in private because you sent me a message I was not quite sure what you meant?”

I said as confident as possible even though I was dying inside. He seemed confused but he agreed and the brothers and I went outside with them. Now I really had no one to defend me if these man mountains were to man handle me.

“You said I must pay damages but I would like to understand for what?”

Again they did not expect that.

“I understand my sister was pregnant and you were the father?”

I put on my biggest shock face and told him that I was clueless what he was talking about.

“Are you calling us liars?”

He asked me. I told him no but what proof did they have that I was the father. They took a phone out and showed me messages. It was Lindiwe’s phone. I was so shocked it was the last thing I expected.
The last message she sent read,

“I can’t believe you allowed your wife to humiliate me like that. I never wanted to come but I thought you invited me to be close to your baby but it…”

The message had remained a draft because it was not sent. I know this because I never received it. Was it coming to me? Or had she died in the car accident because she was smsing someone about me? The pang that went through my chest at that point! She had died because of me. Why did I have to suffer like this? Now I will never forgive myself.

“What do you have to say now?”

He asked looking at me,

“I don’t know what to say? We were supposed to discuss it that day but that’s just it, we never slept together!”

I said to him. I did not know what else to say.

“We don’t want your money. We just want you to name the child so that the ancestors will accept him. We were not asking for money. You can give us r100 just as a symbolic gesture. No one expects you to marry a corpse!”

He said possibly annoyed at the way I had responded. I had misread their intent but that’s why I said black families all have different laws and traditions. I accepted what he said and he said he would arrange it. That went well. Now I could breathe. It was decided that for us our boss should speak as he represented the company. He did not seem too perturbed by the idea because lawyers love to speak!

The funeral, well it was a funeral. We buried her and they were a few minor gliches here and there but nothing spectacular. I meant the uncles as promised and what started of as r100 ended up as r1500. All in all I had paid for my sins. My phone had been off and when I switched it on I had an sms from Asthandile.

I was flying back that afternoon so I already had everything in the rented car. As soon as we left there I headed to the airport. When I got home all I wanted to do was rest. That’s all. I wanted to lie down and think of life. I was exhausted.

I opened the door to the house and I got the shock of my life. It was empty! My house was empty. The only thing left in the entire house was a tissue, tooth brush and soap.


I picked up my phone and I remembered the sms she had sent which I had never opened. This time I did!

“I heard your woman is being buried to day. I came to pick up my things!”

*****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
Happy Monday


Mike Maphoto

Dear Mike

My story is very long, so please just be patient when reading.

I was dating a guy from township X and we broke up 5 months later. While I was still in a relationship with this guy, there was another guy from township Y persuading me but backed off after I told him I was dating this guy. Township X and Y are 15km apart so people from these townships know each other and are also friends. This guy from township X is not friends with the guy from Y but they have mutual friends. After we broke up, I gave the guy from Y a chance. After a few weeks we went and slept at his friend’s (also from Y) flat at another town as we had things to do at that town. We found his friend’s flat mate there (also from Y). I didn’t know him and we were not introduced. After a week, I got a Facebook message from the flat mate. Apparently he saw me at X and asked around about me until he got my surname and searched for me on FB. I’m not from any of the 2 townships but visit X a lot it’s like my 2nd home. He didn’t know I was dating this guy from Y until he saw me at their flat. Ok. We started chatting with this guy after I gave him my number cause I was tired of chatting on FB. I told him I was dating his homeboy and he was like ok. The guy was very persistent and that’s when a thought came to my mind that probably when my bf goes to that town (he goes there very often) he brings his one night stands to their flat cos I once asked him why whenever he goes there he goes and drops his friend at his girlfriend’s place? They are friends, they can share a bed or one of them can sleep on a couch. This flat mate is a real gentleman compared to my bf. Him on the other hand behaves like we’ve been dating for 5 years. I tried to bring the spark in the relationship but failed dismally. I decided to give the flat mate a chance after a month of dating my bf cos he is everything I want in a man. Now the problem is, i can’t go to the flat cos I don’t want my bf’s friend to find out about us. What surprised me was when he told me the flat mate won’t say a thing. They are all from the same village but bf 1 and bf 2(the one from the flat) are not friends but are friends with the guy that stays with bf2. I decided to dumb them both as I was developing strong feelings for bf2 but the problem was, I was not free with him and was not ready for my bf1’s friend to see me with him and again, what other people including their friends were gonna say about me. Bf1 because I was really not happy with him even when the relationship was still new. Bf2 never gave up. He told me I mustn’t think about what people were gonna say as long as at the end of the day I’m happy. That he feels very strongly about us and I should stop calling myself a whore cos I’m not. He didn’t have a gf when we met and bf1 was having ups and downs with the baby mama. I don’t have kids and bf2 also. Bf1 gave up the very same day I dumbed him. He just told me it’s fine if that’s what I wanted. After a week, I got back with bf2 who even drove 250km to come and beg me to stay with him whereas the other one is just 70km from where I stay.
I’m still happy with bf2 but still can’t visit him at his flat because of his friend. I don’t want people to know about us yet, especially the flat mate. He’s certain he’s not gonna say or do anything and thinks we should just come out cos whether people find out about us now or later, they are still gonna talk and that he’ll be holding my hand every step of the way.
What do you guys think of me and what is it you think I should do about the flat mate thing as he can’t keep on paying for b&bs whereas he has a place. He’s been patient and hasn’t complained yet.

Ps: insults are also welcome


71 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Five

  1. Dalu sold the guy out, he’s the one that told asthandile that they’ll be attending the funeral. Thanks mike. On you sisi just be tell your X that you a dating his friend and also your bf must also be open with the guys, so that when they see you then, they won’t be suprised as you will have told them prior. Good luck

  2. A2Q: they are passing you around. They friends and you are soon building a reputation. Soon the same ones saying don’t call yourself a whore will be calling you a whore to their other friends. In time no guy will want anything serious with you because in a short space of time you ran around with half their friends. Don’t be fooled. Us ladies need to start thinking like men. They all want the cookie and will say anything to make you fall helplessly. It builds their confidence. Slow down with the guy you with. It sounds like you rebounding bad from your township X ex. But then again just my advice and perspective of the situation.. Wish you well..

  3. Hi Nadia,
    You should have though of all of this *before* you started dating bf2. You’ve made your bed, now lie in it. Your bf is right, people will talk, whether you do good or bad. Their utterances won’t change the price of bread though. What matters is your answer to: do you love this man? Does he make you happy? Is it really important what other people think of you? They are not brothers nor friends, so I don’t think you’re a hoe.

  4. Ps: insults also welcome?? Hehehehe *evil smile*

    Thanks Mikeesto and happy Monday fam.

    Nadia, damn girl, you’ve been around the block neh, a couple of blocks in fact, couple of blokes too. I don’t know whether you lack self confidence, self love or self something but nje you are just out there. To say you are outgoing would be an understatement.

    Just a point worth noting, had you used names, even aliases, your story would’ve had substance, it would captured the inner emotion of identifying, human to another. But all that bf1 township Z BS just made me sleepy. Anyway, when those guys are done passing you around like a cigarette, you will end up like a cig butt, on the ground with dirt. Find yourself child, you are lost in a treacherous narrow path of sfebeism.


  5. ayi Mike u are letting Asithandile get away with so much bullshit angisathandi

    QnA: I Dont know if its because am having a blue monday or what but i just cudnt follow ur letter ders too many boyfriends and townships and flats god my head is spinning let me get back to work

  6. Q&A something to think about, the’re women that we used to call ” ITIYE” BHAYISIKILI” IMBAWULA” IMVULA”INKOMISHI”.

  7. I second that @Cindo, can’t quite take a pick at it. From bf1 to b2, then townshipX and Y. You remind me of my friend, her name is Nadia too.

    Let me just also get back to work. Good luck!

  8. Nice on Mike
    Girls need to wake up. if there is a possibility guys know each other, they probably do.
    Was at gym once, listening to 3 guys plot banging some girl. exactly your scenario, 2 had banged and now they plotting for the next dude. They said her name and where she stayed, so you know what everyone in that changing room though of that person.
    You all walking proud with your “Scarlet Letter”.
    Its now a women world, eita hola

  9. My goodness Asthandile and my step mother must be identical twins. The things she is doing, you’d swear Mike had given her the story line or the guy who wrote Muvhango. Thanx Mike, I think my father and I might need help on how deal with this crazy woman.

  10. A2Q: haayi solve 4 x, ur story is more confusing than an algebra sum. These guys probably know about each other n their passing u around like maSundawana. Soon u gonna end up sleeping with the whole team n u’ll become their laughing stock. Talk about private parts being public. Just dump every1 n go start afresh far away from those flatmates x n y2

  11. From paying 150 to 1500 now how did that happen? anyway its none of my business.

    Dalu ain’t loyal, did he have to tell Asthandile about the burial? Is he sleeping with her, phela Asthandile ke phaga ya kgale I wouldn’t be surprised.

    A-Q I agree with Roro here, you are being passed around like cigarette, how do you even enter a relationship not long after you got out of one. Jackz is right you need to find yourself. Slow down there is no hurry in S.A only in Harare!

    Next time use names and not X and Y as if we solving for x in a maths class.

    Thanks Team Mike

    Oh Mike when is the return of Nelisa happening. I miss that little girl.

  12. There she goes again…….I doubt anything she took is in her name Mxo, so have arrested for theft, a day or two in jail izohluza lomqondo wakhe obolile (unless you married in community of property).

    Happy Burfday PrincessMN!!

    @Nadia…..No insults are never ever welcome! Nobody is perfect my honey. Anyways, they are lying when they say they won’t tell anyone. They will tell because they have an “honours” degree in playing women and bragging about it. A group of guys who are friends will hit the same women and all be like “I won’t tell if you won’t”. They do tell and you become the joke with a label! The only thing that will sort you out is if you come out in the open to the boyfriend about the friend, what can they do once its out, only talk and they say talk cheap!

  13. Thanks Team.
    A to Q: I thought I was reading a maths problem or something, solve x, distances and all… Anyway, I will say this in isiZulu: ‘Ubufebe nanoma obaluhlobo luni abamukelekile!’

  14. Tjoooh Asthandile doesn’t waste time nhe

    QnA wow Nadia am sure if its as the way u put it on print, yah jy is deur makaar mi skaat. Let me say this is a bottle of an expensive Vodka scennarior. Its on the table and its ciculating and its written u hv her and this bottle is urs. Hw can one be cool abt u banging an Ow frm his hood and still try to fit in? Well I’ll take a guess en say its complicated. Read inbetween the lines gal, am sure u’ll see its all not worth it

  15. Thanks Mike for the daily dose.

    QnA: The fact that you used X and Y, Bf1, Bf5 and etc… Made your story very boring. I doubt that you would even understand what you wrote there. Just find your poor child before you are labelled as a whore, you can’t do that to yourself.

  16. To ladies that have used or are using Beemwa balls: How long do they have to stay inside you for? An hour, or two? Please advise.

  17. Q&A: You not only on a marathon but you also on a marathon to Finish X+Y, Dont worry Z(ARV) will be waiting for you at the end of the tunnel

  18. Mxolisi should’ve known better and change the lock, isn’t he the one that made that “black people don’t change locks” statement.

    Nadia girl, your story is as long as Mike’s Chapter and the flip side of it is that its very confusing, Township X and Y, its like we are in a Maths class trying to solve X, I didn’t like Maths that much, so I will let this one pass.

  19. Thanks Mike. It is true that all is fair in Love and War, especially in divorce. I see you are bringing the element of how emotionally draining is divorce. Also pls highlight that only lawyers win in a contested divorce. The half that Mxo left in that joint account has been cleaned out as well by Astha, she may have plans to claim the other half and make him pay for her legal fees. She is cruel indeed.

    Your story would not be a big deal if you are from small towns near the two towns are situated. I would consider that to be a norm to having dated friends in those townships /villages as there is just few people there and is normally a township of less than five thousand people. People there rotate each other like most people in most hoods had dated each other or each other’s childhood friend/neighbour.
    My naughty head tried to think of townships +-15km apart which are small and there are flats & B&B nearby, I came up with a few, but could not relate it to the 250km driver which made me stop thinking a lot.
    Now as others have said, you are a Village Bike, Puff `n Pass or any of those words described.
    My suggestion is GET OUT of it, none of those guys will want to keep you. Get yourself someone from out of those areas. If you are from JHB, try East Rand or PTA or Vaal if they are from PE, try someone from EL. Also know that people from out of GP tend to know each other very well especially when they get to working areas, eg most guys from Vend or PLK or MFK or NDM happen to connect at areas of work especially if they are from out of town. So get out of it.

  20. Asthandile is the devils child I swear… QnA Aowa Nadia bathong! Y vele? Sisi listen..leave all this drama behind you find another man in another town.that’s the only way to redeem yourself lala-integrity intact..otherwise ai sisi “uzokhala uthi bewdakiwe” bayadlalana abafana la ngaphandle STRONG!

  21. Heee banna Nadia you seem to be an active social worker endaweni and doing a good job in your field of ukunakekkela umphakathi, they are all going to get your services ngoba engathi ulula. Hayi kabi

  22. Lol, I had to read this letter twice just to understand who is who in the zoo. Sorry sis but you are a plain whore and you need to sit down close your legs and decide what is it that you want in life. You also need to have standards in your life. How the hell do you go to someone’s flat to get fucked by your man and end up dating the flat owner? That’s very low sister.

  23. Au kodwa Asthandile….QnA….Weee ungixolele Nadia gal ay angizwa tuuuuu maybe ngihlulwe ilabo XnY no 1n2 no frnd of frnd. Ay lol bt pls don’t take any offence

  24. Nadia I suggest you tell bf2 to find hi own place wer u can visit him and weather the guy from x nd the guy from y find out about u too it doesn’t matter and I believe that bf2 really loves you y on earth will he drive those miles just to b wth u, n u alredy slept slept with him, so this is not only puff and pass caus he would have left u by now…. tell him to stop waisting money wth those bnb and rent a place you will b fine

  25. Tanks Mike but I think its time Mxo gets even with Astha…. Do women really get away with all these stuff?

    Q&A Nadia sisi u sound like a top Dog B***h yooooo m trying to understand where your No genes are cos I didn’t hear you say anything about turning any guy down…… Guys always pursue and they never give up but it is all up to you to say NO. You sound like a township Puff n Pass and only you can stop That nobody else

  26. Q&A, truth hurts my dear but you’ve been played! Noone will ever take you seriously. Me and my friends we used to do that, exchange gfs. in your absence, they are talking about you

  27. Lol Nadia sweet heart just buy a vibrator n stay in ur own flat ok. Or u’ll find urself in black Z with a bottle full of ARVs. Tjjjjeeeeeeer bofebe!!!

  28. Thanks Mikesto for the read, I wont be suprised Dalu slept with Asthandile why is he defending,protecting her like that. Really he really got a piece of the cake.

  29. Thanks for a great read Mike.

    Q&A- Girl they are just passing you around, I can assure that they talk about you when you not around. Cut your loses before bakujikela nd call you names

  30. Nadia Nadia Nadia..mmmmm ay what is this sleepin around with guy what while datin what what and cheating on what what n sleepin wt hm…cant you just take time to know them and determine the value of the relaptionship before you open the cookie jar lyk really?thrs too much sleepin around and flats n bnb’s u sound like iskebereshe sendawo….##yawn##let me bath my baby##

  31. Abuti Mike…I normally don’t comment but today ke lone! Thanx for the read as always. I like the fact that Lindi’s family only wanted to do the right thing & not milk the guy of his money! Q&A so wish we had a like button Mike,some comments thoguh neh…lol,but this letter was confusing shame!

  32. Q&A β€œwhat do you guys think of me?β€œ
    I think u confusing with your x,y,bf1 and bf2 eish. Anyways I believe you know what’s right for you.
    What should you do?
    Enforce it,life will have ups and downs.

    Great Read as always Mike thanks

  33. Kanye said it best when she leave your ass she go leave with half…

    Q and A
    That is some complex maths equation you have going on the.

  34. Good gal Asthandile. Smart move. Mxo started all this rubbish by sleeping with Khanyi-Viper but now can’t face the music.

    Uyi bhola ye rugby. Kupaselwana ngawe.

  35. Jackzorro reminds me of some guy in Gabs he calls himself Mgababa Jozi…he just always has an opinion. He calls in on almost every radio station …I love them though…anyway

    Ahh Nadia o ka lapisa

  36. But Dalu gana stop sign sometimes. Yerrr Mxo should get her arrested for theft, or has she forgotten the terms of their prenuptial agreement already??

    QnA: If you are happy with bf2 then stop making excuses and be exclusive with him. How long are you going to hide your relationship? Yes they will talk, you’ll be called names but so what? If this man is willing to be with you with your track record and he makes you happy then you should be with him regardless of what people will say.

  37. Q&A Nadia please please please your math is confusing but please it’s never too late to do what is right by you remember one thing God loves you. My dear I feel your pain I have a friend that does the same thing but I can’t help her because this she’s done with men the following week she has a new kills me to see how beautiful she is but she doesn’t value herself. You know what you want but you not patient. Pray to God for intervention or else you will be buried before time. Talking of 250km,that’s just a bluff guys can do anything for a pussy and it’s sad and disturbing because it’s done in the name of love. Leave them all stay alone go, register at unisa in April and study and that is a big destruction you can ever get. Please I am begging you I will pray for you.

  38. Thanx Mike… Makhosazane I second u, I ddnt inderstand a thing. But Nadia wateva is going, u can’t hide foreva dear, js cum clean

  39. Loool Sfebesim …Mara gal the guys r playing dey can see u r availing urself as cheap good ..remember cheap goods attract every1 so build ur self confidence & have self love b4 its 2 late!!!

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