Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Forty

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

That news felt like a hammer blow! She was dead? Ah Dear Lord why though? Had this woman not suffered enough. I actually felt sorry for my enemy, my wife’s boss because losing someone is not easy. It really is not. He had shouted that it was all my fault and much as I knew it was anger speaking he could have had a point. Dead! Imagine that. The world is cruel and this was something I had least expected. Going to jail simply is the last thing you should ever wish for! I told him that I was sorry for his loss but he was not on the phone anymore. Most men are like this, when you have her, you take her for granted, when she is gone, it is the end of the world. These are not crocodile tears but actual regret but in his case it took someone to actually die before he woke up! Too little, too late!

Life has a way of being cruel. The people that should die, like Asthandile have a knack of surviving and it’s always been like that. The ones that die are the so called sweet ones whom life happened to them. Had she not gone to jail she most certainly have lived. Who was to blame though? The daughter that reported to her mother, her for taking the law into her own hands, the husband for failing to keep his dick in his pants or my wife,the mistress who wanted what did not belong to her or me, the man who had thrown out his wife eventually leading to this confrontation. I lost all the energy in my knees and I felt myself fall to the floor. I could not lift my body weight in that moment. I had met her so briefly but she had touched me so much I even wanted to represent her.

Ezile! That poor child. I called Zimasa immediately to tell her. She said she had not heard about it. She dropped the phone but not before saying she will call me back. Ten minutes later she called back and said Ezile had not handled it well at all and that she needed to go be with her friend. All was forgotten at this moment. I told her to wait there because I was going to drive her. It had to be a very emotional and painfull moment and with the father at the hospital someone had to be there for her. I found Zimasa at the BnB and she literally jumped into the car when I parked. She was crying. It’s funny that with the way I wanted to distance myself so badly from this family, I was always drawn back in.

When we got there, there was a familiar car outside. By the looks of it they driver too had just arrived as she was still in the car. This was going to be awkward after the fight we had just heard. She did not see until I was literally outside my car. This is how people get hijacked in driveways, they don’t have a sense of awareness to look at their surroundings something that will take them but a moment. I walked in with Zimasa as Khanyi got out of her car. For the first time she noticed me and she cursed out,

“Shit, really!”

She was quite annoyed that I was here. I walked into my enemies house for the first time and I must say his home was impressive. It’s a fact what people say then that money can buy you anything including married women. This man had money by the looks of it. The house was beautifully furnished and even though I was not so aware of brands and so on I could see these things were expensive. That’s the problem with rich people, they always want more! He had a beautiful home and a wife child and another on the way yet he had wanted more! Look were it got him! We found the door open and there on the floor Ezile crying. It was the saddest thing I had seen in a long time. Her father clearly had told her over the phone and now she had to deal with it alone.

“Aunty Khanyi! Help me! I want my mother back! Please Aunty Khanyi, please!”

She cried when saw Khanyi walk in. Khanyi had walked closely with her father so she was very familiar to her. She then saw Zimasa and jumped up into her friends arms. You would not believe that these two had just fought. Khanyi moved in and gave them a group hug. She sat them down on the couch and went to what I can only assume was the kitchen because moments later she brought in tea. Three cups, one for each of them and none for me! Very petty. she did not utter a word to me. It was interesting to note how very familiar Khanyi was with this house but I could not ask now as I was only causing more unnecessary tension by being here! I stood up and went outside. I needed some air. By right I shouldn’t be here! At this stage I was craving a cigarette but I don’t even smoke. Those people seem to find relief in the most stupid of vices and right now I needed that. I need a vice to fill up this pit in me. My wife was in hospital and I wished her dead! What kind of a self respecting man does that to a woman or another person for that matter? It’s no secret I wished her dead. I really hated her that much.

“This is Dr. Masipa from Groote Schuur, I am calling in connection with your wife!”

He said. Was he calling to say she was dead, please say that I beGged my inner evil self!

“Yes Dr. What can I do for you?”

“Sir we have been waiting for you. We need you here to give us consent on a few procedures which will limit her scarring and the open window literally has fallen to an a few hours since you are not arriving! We can’t do this without you!”

He said and waited to hear if I was coming or not!

The irony was not lost to me though at this moment. My wife’s beauty was now in my hands! I had the power to make her decent again or live her like this forever.

How is that for revenge Asthandile?

*****The End******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Hi Mike and Family,

I need your advise, I have a situation and I have mixed feelings about it.

I’m 29 yrs and I have an eleven year old son. I just broke up with my boyfriend four months ago( he’s not the father), our relationship lasted for three years. The last two years we’ve been trying to have a baby (he doesn’t have any children) without success. He started hanging out with his friends more and I’d see less and less of him as the months went by, when ever I was on my periods I had to be away from him just to avoid seeing him hurt coz I felt like I was failing him every time my periods started coz he made me feel like it was my fault. Then last August he asked for a “break” from the relationship, his excuse was that he felt that he was hurting me emotionally and he didn’t want to continue doing it. After trying for months to change his mind, in November I decided to give him the space that he said needed, only to find out a week later that he was actually dating a girl that he worked with so I decided to officially end the relationship. After that I became even closer to my first boyfriend who broke my virginity that I dated before I had my son( we stayed friends after the break up).During our 13 year friendship we always talked about getting back together but I was always too afraid to take the chance coz he was the ladies man. 3 to 4 yrs ago he started changing and started dating one girl at a time but those relationships didn’t work out, so I decided to take the chance on us in November. He’s always been sweet to me and he’s always loved spending quality time with me which is something I didn’t get from my previous relationship, even when we were still friends we would often stay up the whole night chatting and laughing. Now we’ve just found out that I’m pregnant with his baby and I’m really scared, we’ve only been dating for 4 months. I love him but I’m not sure whether to be happy and see this as a sign that we were meant to be together or if this is just one of those things that just happen. I’m scared that pregnancy so early in the relationship will just spoil things.

Please let me know what you guys think of the situation( Lol especially you JackZ)

Ps; sorry for the long letter guys, once I started my fingers wouldn’t stop typing lol

36 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Forty

  1. Q n A
    but you say he is /was a ladies man. I wish I could ask you a question about protection but obviosly you wont ansa so I will not ask. maybe you tested before engaging to unprotecyed sex. . My advise just enjoy the relationship dear if u meant to be together you wl be together but I dont think being pregnant for him is a sign of anything just take one dae at a time n see where it takes you

  2. Thanks Mikeesto, happy Monday fam.


    All I kept asking myself is where’s the babydaddy?! No mention of him at all, poor guy shem. Ok so your boy is 11, he has known your ex as the stepdad, and proly knows your current, considering the 13year friendship. Atleast familiarity aint a factor coz that boy is grown, and meeting new dads every 3-5 years wouldn’t be cool. So uhm! Your ex couldn’t make babies yet blamed you for natural periods?? Such fu*kery though lol.

    You sound happy, yes a little confused, but you geniunely sound happy. Its clear that feelings are there and strong for your vdot breaker. So if he is good with your son, and is happy about your pregnancy, wants to commit and spend his life with you and your babies…. I see no wrong. Yes, getting preggies so quick isn’t ideal, but heck, you been trying so long with the other fool, you mustve believed one was the only. Such trauma though all due to a man who can’t score goals.

    Anywho, I wish you joy and happiness, I hope this guy doesn’t let you get away from him this second time. I hope he makes you happy and you him. Enjoy the pregnancy 🙂

    Jah bless

  3. Jackzorro there are alot of women who get “natural periods” but still struggle to fall preg. Q&A why didnt you take the necessary precaution if you didnt want a baby so early in the relationship? Seems you wont sure about having a future with yet you went as far as having unprotected sex with your new guy whom you know used to be a player.

  4. Thanks Team. Give Asthandile her beauty back and you both go your separate ways. You’ve really messed up each others lives for eternity already…
    A to Q: you already have a child (11 yr old), and you tried giving another boyfriend a baby again – still out of wedlock or any permanent stable arrangement… Issue of priorities, principles…Didn’t continue reading the question…too early in the week, gloomy Monday morning and all…

  5. QA. kahle kahle what advice are you seeking. for which of the guy? i mean all you can do is tell the guy that you are pregnant cause clearly you wanted the pregnancy shuthi from whomever cause you slept with that guy knowingly of the consequences, even the guy has the same knowledge ofcourse, ngaphandle if he had asked you about precautions you have taken to avoid pregnancy sewsabani manje? please!

  6. A to Q
    My dear, pliz help me understand something- as i read your letter, i did not hear a mention of suggested medical tests, does this mean becoz u so much wanted a child, u decided to go dry with your ex and yo current ( whom you stated to have been a womanizer at some point)? Isn`t that being careless, sweetie? I pray and hope that you negative for the sake of your boy and the soon coming baby

  7. Thank you Mike, Mxolisi must just go and get those papers signed so that Asithandile can go on with her life.

    Jackzorro u said it all for me, if she’s happy then she must take it one day at a time.

  8. Monday Fix 🙂 thanx Mike and team

    QnA : My dear , you need to slow your role a bit hey, haibo…All these babies and nothing about marriage?? What kind of example are you setting for your kids? Yes your boy maybe familiar with your now current boyfriend , who was your friend for 13 years. And you say the guy was a player and you still dont use protection.

    Get your priorities straight my love. You need to have some stability in your life, for you and your kids. But yeah JackZorro is right, you sound happy – confused yes , but happy. And if your boyfriend is happy about the pregnancy then enjoy it and enjoy each other.

    PS : Babies are NOT a sign of anything except for fertility. Get that concept off your mind.

    All the best nana…

  9. Don’t be Asthandile Mxolisi, revenge for what. You are both emotionally damaged don’t add physical damage to that as well. Allow it and go your seperate ways. Khanyi moving in for the boss, typical.

  10. Thanx Mikey ,Asithandile does not deserve any beauty ,dont sign anything mxolisi and that khanyi hope she trips and dies ,she knew the dead wife but never told her abt the husbands infedilities now she comes making tea ,i think she always wanted that house vele mxolisi was just a pawn in khanyis mind games ,hell she played every one

    everyone going on abt the lady having babies out of wedlock get of your high horses,not everyone will get married her first born is 11 years already and shes ready to have another one marriage or not ,am sure she can afford her kids, and thats not what she wanted advise on so it was uncalled for really.

    1. well said Cindo, I have no idea why people get so judgemental over other people’s lives as if theirs are perfect, instead of giving advise on they carry on as if they are mini gods.

  11. Happy Monday Family, good start to the week. So…after waiting for ages for Mxo to divorce this evil woman I’ve accepted that it will never happen. These were Mxo’s words in the first chapter:”…I was not sorry when my wife cheated! In fact she did me a favour and gave me an excuse to live my life. I did not divorce her either. What for? Only a fool divorces in this economy! Its bloody expensive and you stand to lose more than you even thought you had to start with. Yes, I was angry, very in fact!!! She slept outside that night and went back to her family home for a month. She tried to say I was cheating too but when I asked her to prove it she did not have a shred of evidence. It gave me justifications and something to hold over her head. I was already cheating in any case, once with her first cousin even but that is not what this is about…”

  12. Thanks Mike for the daily dose, keep up the good work!

    Dear To, I see u struggling with english there, can u please re-read jacks comment again nje….by the way Jackzorros comments are always on point. im such a huge fan

  13. Q&A Kusho ukuthi kothi kufika uMr right wena uyobe usunebhasi lezingane. Cindo if we give advice we do not have to be romantic about it, it is wrong to have babies out of wedlock, this is shared by most if not all cultures. Ilokhu esakufundiswa sikhula not necessarily because we Christians but because izingane are meant to be brought up by both parents. Ukuze sithi do away with most social ills and sibe umphakathi ongcono kumele sikhulume iqiniso, discourage lento yokuthola izingane noma ikanjani, it is just a noble thing to do and is common sense.

    So my sister I do not really know what is your problem, you seem to be needing approval from men, ngathi awukwazi nje ukuziphilela and wait for your prince charming, 29 is still young and should this men not marry you you will have 2 children from different fathers,neither of them is your husband, ukube bengiwu Jackzorro bengizothi ama choice assorted, why vele?

  14. Q&A sisi kids are a blessing from God. Since you already have a baby it’s a good thing that you didn’t fall pregnant with your ex. If a man wants a baby with you he must first marry you. Don’t be deceived. It’s too early to be pregnant after dating for four months. I wish you all the best and hope the new bf has future plans with you.

  15. Eish ke sono ka Asthandile,thanx for our daily dose.
    @ Cindo I’m with you on that one. People are busy telling her about having 2 kids from 2 different fathers out of wedlock as if she was asking about that. It’s not everyone who is after marriage and if she is financially stable then I don’t see y we should judge her. Don’t think for a moment that your principles and values are just like her’s. Different strokes for different people.

  16. A2Q judgement n judgements for wht?kokqala yall du oral sex n stuff including suckin’ em D#to me its same as having sex without condom,sisi I think ur old nd stable to can take care of ya nabantwana bakho so no need to be afraid just tell the guy your pregnant with his child.dnt wait too long coz he myt think otherwise n start asking why ngamtshelanga for this long

  17. I must say Mike, I’m a bit confused. Asthandile is awake, why can’t she consent for her own procedure? Or is the husband consenting because it is his medical aid?

  18. I wonder wht will Asthandile’s parents say now,,

    Q&A cc I was once in ur position I dated a guy tht was my friend for a long time and I fell pregnant 2months in a relationship I ws scared nd confused as u r bt, he never left or change,he is now my husband and still treating me like a queen nd he is a great father to our son who is now 5years so if ur man is cool with ur pregnancy, loves ur other child and makes u happy just enjoy ur pregnancy and let God do the rest

  19. Asthandile is the cause of the wife death ,for that she deserve to be ugly
    Q&A u said he was a ladies man bt u had unprotected sex with him??? ai aretsi

  20. Guys the lady probably thought she can’t fall pregnant again, since she had been trying with the now ex boyfriend. hai you should also learn to read these letters properly mxm.

    Thanks Team Mike

  21. Q&A bathong ladies y y y… i am buffled that ladies we continue to put oursleves at risk unnecessarily so you didnt even try 90 day wait, and a few times had unprotected is way way too early if 11 year has made you forget pregnancy is very strainious on a relationship even in a marriage so now you have just opened a another skipped the crawling and walking of this relationship and have gone for a marathon.

    If i were you i would sit him down after writing the many cons of you guys bringing in a baby in this world is not time and terminate asap..if you dont blv in that be prepared to live with the fact that this relationship is already handicapped and might not survive

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