Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Seven

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

Not the face! Have you seen how when women fight each other they target the face. Why? It’s her passport, it’s her ticket, it’s her identity so attack there and get the first scratch in then you have one the fight. It’s very significant. Even abusive men tend to stay away from the face because they know that one day when they are sleeping she will pour a pot of boiling water on you. Even the most cruel of men really try stay away from a face because it means a lot. It’s like cutting the arm off someone who does construction. I think you get the point. I stood there and thought of a lot of things. With beautiful women (and I am certain ugly ones too) the face is their most important assert before the brain or even dignity. Beautiful people loves themselves just go to instagram. All beautiful women have over a hundred pictures on instagram and get so many followers because of that beauty. No wonder why they are so conceited. Their face is their male ticket, they get away with a lot because of that and no wonder why other women hate them. Men fight to get them, pay and take them on holidays simply because of their face. It’s not about us respecting them for their intellect because usually it is not there unless they are educated. I say all this in an attempt to understand what could be going through Asthandile’s mind at this moment. With the way this fool (her boss) had said it, the face was badly affected. She was screwed.

It’s funny or maybe sad is the word how in all that had happened, I had forgotten about her, the pregnant wife. Why are people so cruel though, men especially? I had met her husband having an affair with a university student as well as my wife and not once had I thought of warning a fellow citizen. What is this Ubuntu bullshit is this country lies to each other about? No wonder why only now people are screaming Rhodeswaswhite\Rhodesmustgo iits because we have no sense of community unless we killing foreigners. I should have told her. I was not a stranger. Her husband was sleeping with my wife for crying out loud. When you have an affair with a married person the number of people you affect are more than your selfishness can comprehend. That’s just it. When they were doing what they were doing they totally disregarded her and myself. How did she manage to sneak up on them though? He was lying? She caught them in bed? There was no other explanation and what’s worse, this time she caught them in her house clearly!

“You are lying to me! If you don’t tell me the truth I am walking away right now and this becomes yoour problem!”

He looked at me and sat down. He put his head in his hands and said,

“Eish. My wife was supposed to be in Jhb. I was not expecting her till next week.”
He started to explain. See, he needed no motivation!

“She did not tell me she was coming and by the looks of it she arrived yesterday. She caught us you know… She said some lady called her and said that she must come. I suspect Khanyi of course!”

He said with so much regret in his voice. This man was a serial cheat so why would he have regret.

“I didn’t even hear her enter. Asthandile was on top that’s why it hit her more…”

He kept quiet. Obviously I did not want all the details.

“Where is your wife now?”

I asked him. I am not sure if he thought I sounded angry or what but he shook as he told me that she had been arrested. I stood up to leave and his voice was the only thing that stopped me,

“Are you not even going to see her?”

He asked me I think surprised at the fact that I had come all this way and had not even made an attempt to see my wife.

“I don’t sleep with ugly women!”

I said and I walked out. What did this guy expect. He had just told me that she was riding his dick now he expected me to play husband. For most people cheating is now a matter of fact that’s why it means absolutely nothing to them. That’s why he expected me to be ok with it. I could beat him up right now, he had one hand after all but what was the point. I actually pitied them… nah, I lie! Voetsek!

I drove out and headed for the police station he had mentioned. I wanted to see this evil woman who had put a stop to Asthandile’s life. I was lucky that the police man in charge here was actually someone I knew so he allowed me to see her. That’s not before I paid a r100 for coke. Have you ever noticed that when these police ask for a bribe they say it’s for coke! Is it because they cannot afford coke I don’t understand and which coke is this that costs r100. When she was brought to me did not know who I was. I have never felt so sorry for someone as I did for her now. She was towards the latter stages of her pregnancy which made her look even worse. I could see she had been crying. She was not the victorius conquerer I had thought she would be having taught her lying cheating husband a lesson. Take a moment and consider how you woul feel walking into your own home and finding your husband fucking another woman in your bed, in your sheets and in your bedroom? I know how it feels because Asthandile had done it to me! When I introduced myself she cried.

“Please I don’t know what got into me! I was so angry I wanted them dead! Now I am going to jail for a long time. My baby will be born in jail!”

She cried.

“Why are you going to jail?”

I asked her which I am certain confused her to no end…
“B..b..because I poured acid on your wife!”

She said. I looked at her with the most sincere look I could master and I have never been more confident in my life as I said,

“You are not going to jail. I am your lawyer now and I will fight with everything that I have that your child will be born normal!”

I stood up and smiled at the confused lady,

“What kind of thank you would it be if I allowed my hero to go to jail?”

I said smiling and walked away whistling

“Hakuna mathatha ain’t no passing phrase, it means no worries for the rest of your days, it’s a problem free, philosophy!”

****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Thanks for the posts, love them.

I am a 29yrs old woman with a 5yrs old son. After I broke up with my baby daddy 3yrs ago my life never got better I moved from one man to another. Comparing all the men with my baby daddy & they did not meet the standard. Me & my baby daddy broke-up because of family issues no1 cheated. Moving on all the men I have been dating I have been using a condom while sleeping with them until I met this guy last November(2014) he asked me to go for HIV test before we have sex & I said NO. The first time I slept with him we didn’t use a condom & we did it five times without it stupid yes I know. One day he called me & said he has STI & said I should go check myself up which I did & what I found was more than I was barking for. They told me I was +HIV I didn’t cry but I felt a pain & I told myself right there that maybe am the one who brought this sickness to this relationship even though I don’t know where I would have got it from. When I told my boyfriend he said he blamed me because he does tests every year @ work. I just told myself that am not going 2 let him break me with the blames if I gave it to him I was sorry but what am worried about now is my son. I want to see him grow to be a man. I spend a lot of the time alone thinking about life & how will I die & all I want is to have positive thoughts that don’t involve my status cause that I can’t change. I know I was stupid & I deserve what has happened to me but can please someone help me & tell me how do a person avoid thinking to much cause apparently is one of the things a person has to avoid to leave a health life. From now on am living for my son cause baka bophelo bompaletse. NB since I found out I was sick my so called boyfriend also said he doesn’t care about our status but he still loves me but I never heard from him since. I just want to face life & work hard to support my son that’s all. I know I have done wrong & I have accepted my status.

Thank u in advance

128 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Seven

  1. Ai! Haike, a bit extreme but horite!

    Annon… The only way to change your thoughts is to constantly counter them with different ones… When a negetive one comes, intentionally think of a positive one

  2. Thanks Mikeesto, was it me or was this chapter sad and funny all in one Lmao!! Happy Friday team.

    As far as anonymous goes… Ubufebe buyabulala, look at asthandile, faceless now, look at you, HIV+. You even sound proud saying you moved from men to men, yeses!! Amanyala.

    God don’t like ungly and it was written. What you did was beyond.. Why did u not want to get tested hhe? If you were using a condom with all others, why not with this guy the very first time? You infected the poor guy, no wonder he ran off. He shouldve had you locked up. Sies maan!!


    1. haibo jackzorro if u have nothing to say for a day jst shush man no need to b rude and heartless arg Sies maan to you!!!

    2. HA!!!!!! Jackzorro… anonymous states that she has been using protection with all the other men she slept with. He might have infected her πŸ™

    3. Dude, I really think uyabora. You always want attention by being controversial in your comments. These are real people you are replying to. If you cant help them then shut up. You are the kind that seeks fame by being rude and obnoxious in your comments. Mike might like it but you bore the rest of us. Get a life!!

    4. @Jackzorro…..Ukhuluma Ibhodo elikhuntayo manje, I think your prime of life is still stuck in Disneyland. And for the lady, Your life is about your son and for your info people who are infected are living for 30 years now, thanks to advancement of medicine. so just focus on your self.

  3. Morning dose! Tx Mike!!

    A2Q find a new hobby. Join a support group. Keep busy! U probably got it from him anyway so he’s blaming it on u coz u refused to test …

  4. lol mxolisi u sly bastard*iloveu*

    Anon:please go for counselling ,start treatment as soon as u can and u will live to see ur childs children ,hiv is no longer a death sentence sweety ,stop feeling sorry for your self what is done is done just concetrate on taking care of ur self and also try to find a support group coz u not gona be able to do it alone.

  5. Boss explain incident then the Guy goes to SAPS tells the lady he will be his Lawyer..End of chapter

    Lol yah neh!!

  6. hai jackzorro must say you have just taken it abit to far with them insults. not necessary for this letter I mean she knows she messed up and if you had nothing nice or helpful to say but to tell her how much of a whore she is than maybe just maybe you should have left your comment to thanking mike
    sorry Jackzorro fans Im a fan too but just had to

  7. I definitely do not agree with you JACKZORRO, testing is a choice that you make on your own, if this guys was so sure of his status then he should have used a condom qha, yena this guy ubethembeni ay suka, this is a eat or be eaten world. Think for yourself, nobody will protect you.

  8. Yoh talk about sweet revenge….but Mike how did the wife just walk in the bedroom with a jug of acid? Or was she tipped off that they will be in the bedroom doing the deed? This has Khanyi or the daughter written all over it.

    Q&A No one deserves bad things to happen to them. However if I were you I would have thought of my son before I moved from one man to the other. I think you suspected you were Positive cos why would you refuse to go and test? You were lucky to have found a guy willing to do things properly and test, so many men don’t even want to see an entrance of a clinic, the moment you tell them about testing for HIV they run.

    Anyway try to be positive, no pun intended….HIV is no longer a death sentence if you take good care of yourself. You can live up to 40 years. Get in touch with an HIV counsellor or buy Drum Magazine you will find very positive article on HIV by Criselda. Goodluck.

  9. Joh jack keaotshaba ntate ,
    Anny:evry1 makes mistakes n I cn stil gt hiv sitting at home n my partner slpng around. So stp feeling sorry for urslf n gt prof help , ppl live wth hiv more tht 30 years so y nt u

  10. Thanx Mike and Team, nice read…

    I believe in this day and age it is every person’s RESPONSIBILITY to protect themselves, never rely on someone to protect you because people are not Truthfull. Jackzorro….

  11. anonymous
    I think the guy is the one who infected you , now he is blaming it on you. but gal wats done is done move on find God go to counselling you will be fine and forgive the guy.
    do not blame yourself. *hugs*


  12. Jackzorro I agree with you on most days but today I had to intervene. What you said was harsh and just wrong, did she sound proud? No. Is she remorseful? Yes. Does she know she was wrong? Yes.

    QnA, Look live for yourself, you can live for such a long time with these new treatments on the market. Your CD4 count and viral load might be okay. (Research sisi, know these things and stop being ignorant) No one is perfect, and most people that you know might have the virus but will not disclose it. Join support groups, get a new hobby, spend time with your son. Just live life to the fullest and be happy. One thing though, the next guy you meet, use a condom until God knows when, tell people you sleeping with about your status because as harsh as I will sound right now, HIV- people like me do not want to be caught in the crossfire.

  13. Thanx Mike n team.

    @Jackzorro – ‘locked up” for What? she did not force him NOT to protect himself with a condom, or rather he should have left her alone. He is as much responsible for his infection as she is.

    Anon, hiv is managable as long as u live healthy and take good care of urself. Focus on your life and forget about these men u will not gain anything from them. Now u are a mother, so live for ur child. Get medical help and counselling, and take it one step @ a time… We all make mistakes in life. Some get hiv from their husbands or wives while they are faithful sitting @ home and it doesn’t get easier on them too, coz hiv is hiv no matter how u got it…

  14. Don’t blame yourself for infecting that guy, he made his choice, he could have said no sex before you get tested or used a condom. It’s your right not to want to get tested. Anyway, as long as you take your treatment accordingly, look after your health, you will live a long life and will see your son grow to be an independent man.

  15. Haaaaska I totally agree with Jackzorro ,sometimes ppl need to be given it raw and uncut, nothing wakes u up faster than a sewage burst in the morning I say ..ladies we need to move away from this “oh my Gaad lets blame it on him cz obviously the guy is the D , fact she moved from man to man like a cheap cigarette smoked by farm workers waiting for their baas ,fact she slept with this guy without a condom after refusing to get tested Y DID SHE REFUSE HMMMM??fact she ddnt think about watching her son grow up when she played Russian roulette with her life she can be all depressed and negative or accept her stupidity build a bridge and get over it

  16. LOL…@ the last sentence! Lion King was my fav movie growing up. I knew it word for word from beggining to end. Thanks team

    Anon being HIV+ is no longer a death sentence as long as you live healthy. With new medication and continued research you will live long enough to see your son and your grandchildren – if that is the Will of God. Take Cindo’s advice and you’ll be fine, so stop sentencing yourself already and live! Speak to “your so called boyfriend” to find out where you’re at – relationship wise and take it from there. Life goes on – wishing you all the best.

  17. Q&A i realy think that the so called bf was the one that infected you, cause if you think about it he asked for tests n your didnt go test, then he allows you2 to have sex without protection, doesnt make sense….
    anyways dont be too hard on yourself, get into support groups and lead a healthy strong for u and ur baby.

    @ Jackzoro your 2cent comment regarding Q&A was uncalled for #yawn#

    1. Yes I agree fame has gotten into this xhosa man. I have always maintained that Jack was callous! nxa okreya ele skobisto ebile!

  18. Jackzorro i think you were too harsh on the lady, she acknowlegdes that she did wrong and wena you just rubbing it in. let’s give the woman a break. sis please join a group of people with the same status as you or go for counselling. hiv is not a death penalty, you can live for many more years to come if you take care of yourself( exercise and eat healthy). All the best…

  19. jackzorro no no no. yes she made a mistake by not testing when she had the chance. to me it sounds like the guy knew he was Positive and she fell for his trick…

    Love you were stupid not to test its not every guy who ask to get tested you should have smelt a rat.

    If you were using a condom_ then you know very well who infected you. why hasnt he said anything? Love that guy played you so well,,,,, he knew his status way before… STI? he is probably sleeping around WITHOUT a condom.. i mean, did you have any STIs? use your head. its not the END .. you made a mistake_ learn from it and live life healthy for your sons sake.

    I am in a 5year relationship. i have been with this person all my life, we have 2 kids. its been a year now since we found out his status… yes it was difficult to accept but we made it through.. you need a support system and dont about it too hard. Its life unfortunatly. for the first time i can say yes i am HIV+ but that does not mean i have to stop going for my goals and dreams. it was unfortunate that i believed if i stayed with one person i will never get it but i did… but for the sake of my kids i let go of the anger_ SUPPORT is the best thing to help you through… no one deserves this. Take it as another curve in the curve in the road… HIV+ or not you will find your soulmate. heal first , trust me GOD is alive. Forgive yourself_its not your fault. Dont blame someone either. take your time on your next relationships. dont be solitude_you might complicate your health. by the way im just 21…

      1. Honestly i didnt go for any support group fearing jugdemental. speaking to someone who is very close to you and you trust should do the trick.. yes they might feel let down but unfortunatly these are outcomes of life. HIV+ people are still being stigmatized so much its not funny. Find someone close. Me and my partner dealt with it together for months he let me be me express my anger as much as i want_ eventually i grew tired of feeling sorry for myself. i ended in hospital because of stress & thinking too much and that was my TURNING POINT _the look on my sons faces when they came to hospital was enough to get me back at my feet and promise them the world i never had.. they need me more then i need myself_and so for them i live as healthy as i can and have fun its important. My what makes you you.. the rest put it all on Gods shoulders and see how things blissfully work out. i swear my kids will never be a burden to someone else. When i leave this earth they will be able to take care of themselves and have enough money for varsity through investments and policys.

        You can go to a support group but trust me you heal better when you have a reason to live on..

        I learnt from my mistakes and decided to embrace the plans God has for me. I had my 1st born when i was 17, the 2nd 20 (when i found out my status). (same Father) regardless of what people say my kids are a blessing and im here today because of them. The reason i believe God is walking with me and has never forsaken me is because my 2nd born never got the virus and i didnt get any medication i even breast feed the 1st month until the test and stopped when i was admitted. i got discahrged, I studied IT. 2 months later i got a job. Im 21, HIV+ mother to 2 boys , have a stable job and my life is content, i can give them what they want and what they need through Him who Strengthens me. and thier Father Is there all the way.

        We all have our ways of healing. Find what makes you happy. Find what fullfills your heart. Scream if you want. shout, go boxxing, run. do what you have to do BUT DONT LOSE YOURSELF.

    1. Thanks MamaTT for being real with Anonymous. This World need people like you, who will give hope to those in the same boat. #Salute

  20. Jackzorro u r way too judgemental. If sees that she isn’t compitable with a guy should she have stayed? And I believe people write these letters to get help and constructive advice not to be called izifebe and be judged. Your response has angered me today. Think about others before u respond. These are human beings and this woman has enough problems and stress to think about and doesnt need ur insults. U r only a celebrity here so dont let that go o ur big head. tsk. nxa

  21. I have to agree with Jackzorro who in this day n age sleeps with a man without a condom.

    I guess we’ll never know if you were tricked or you infected the poor guy.

    Let this be a lesson to all those who think they are immune to hiv.

  22. Ay Jackzorro today you out of line i must say, that was really unneccessary…. who died and made you God?… Anonymous, prayer, counselling can also help…think forward now- hiv is no longer a death sentence you can still live a long happy life…

  23. Mmmh hamba Mxolisi,A2Qsis wam u gona be okey n uzophila just be strong,u knw what they say”u neva knw how strong u are until being strong is the only choice u have”,I guess u have to be strong for u and yo son.just close tht chapta of sleeping around n tht of thinking u myt have infected yo ex because it is unclear who infected who.

    I sugest u focus on getting healthy,find e hobby so tht ungeke ucabange kakhulu.try and surround yoself nabantu who cares about u the most n the rest will just happen automatictly.wena Jackzorro ci ci ci dnt wanna say non

  24. @ Isa, the ‘poor guy’ should also know that info as well. Who sleeps with a woman without protection these days too????? He can also go fly a kite, he infected himself too. This is a LESSON TO BOTH MEN AND WOMEN, HIV has no gender….

  25. Entlik this Jackzorro is d*ck finish n klaar, dude u not a celebrity only a few readers here know abt u so don’t et ur balls to be bigger than ur head.

    Anonymous sorry ausi, jst read that 21 year old response n if needs be try n get contacts caz she clearly has this thing under control. Other u gotta lift up ur voice and say Halleluyah anyway

  26. Thank you mike

    @anonymous…. who really does that mara in this age of sickness? I am so Shocked. I understand not wanting to test but exposing yourself by not using protection it’s just a total ignorance. Not knowing his and your status you should have protected yourself and be more careful.

    I think you should read more about it. Get more information that will keep you busy, know how to look after yourself, get to know how to eat healthy and maybe advice young girls around you not to make the same mistake.

  27. But if u were using a condom after your baby daddy until that one u met in 2014 doesn’t mean ba uyifumene kuye he never showed his result nguye mos .then again that’s not the issue just learn to distract your thoughts maybe go to gym go to church uzobastrong

  28. Thanks team, @Anon: May you find the strength from the one above, stay positive all the time, life goes on, let go of that anger inside you and get help. God bless sesi.

  29. Lol Jackzorro discovered a new word lately…and its Ubufebe, everything lately is bitchy to him lol. Hahaha eish…even where it’s irrelevant. I like your comments but today ai nah kuyabheda…try again next time lol.

  30. The whistling part just killed me mike. I just busted out laughing in the library and got funny looks. Thanks so much

  31. Yoh!!! I disappear for a week and my beloved Jackzorro gets crucified!!! Jackzorro love, as much as I love you, today I have to agree with a lot of people that you were actually very harsh on the lady. Anyway, it is your opinion and you are entitled to it.

    Mikey dear, you always know how to make my days. Keep up the good work. πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰

    Anonymous, I really feel your pain hun but what is done is done and unfortunately we cannot turn back the hands of time. Let me share with you a little story about myself. Five years ago I met this handsome guy, who treated me like a queen, worshipped the ground I walked on and I thought he was the best thing that ever happened to me. A month into the relationship he wanted us to start being intimate. I am not a woman who rushes to have sex. If o tletse 1-0 then you will wait, even if it takes you 4 months then you can have your 1-0 then. He did the whole let’s get tested thing and like yourself, I refused because I was within my right to do. He also spun the story about being tested at work every year. A week after this discussion, he still persisted and I told him okay, lets go get tested. I got my results they were negative. When I asked for his, he said they are negative because they were done at work. I asked for a copy of the results and up until today, I am still waiting for them. We became intimate but I maintained that no condom, no action and I made sure I bought my own. A year later I decided to end things because of some things I couldn’t tolerate from him. I got tested again after the break up and I was still negative so from then on, I do tests every 6 months. Guess what!!! The same guy has been buried today as I write this due to AIDS related deseases. So what I am trying to say to you is that, this guy already knew his status and was just testing the waters if you will agree to do the tests or not. We all know not a lot of people will actually agree to that when asked so unfortunately you fell into the 80% who refuses and you got the bitter end of the stick. He can blame you and even tell the whole world but if he did it intentionally, then clearly he is one of the people without a conscience. We all make mistakes and let me remind you lovie. HIV is not a death sentence. I have a friend who was diagnosed in 1997 and up until today, she is not using ARV’s and is still alive which sometimes makes me wonder if the doctors really didn’t make a mistake. You can live to see your son grow and even give you grand kids and a daughter-in-law. When you date, everyone says you should disclose your status. It’s your own choice and who you disclose to. But keep using protection although I would also advise that before you get intimate with anyone, disclose to them so they can make their own decision whether they are confortable with it or not. As for wena lala, put on that make up, wear those stilletos, breasts out, bum in and put a bright smile on your face and walk this earth like the beautiful soul you are.


    1. I like your story and want to add that It is not easy to tell your new partner that I am positive, so the easier route people follow is to say lets get tested together and act shocked at the results. The one who doesn’t disclose his is suspicious. It is a Rule of Thumb. Never go test individually, people fabricate their results, test together! Condom is boring but never stop using it. Of course in marriage and after testing together then you can consider stopping unless you have concerns about your partner.


  32. Anon: I really feel 4 u, this guy tricked u hoping u won’t go test. He already knew his status. I have 2kids and I’ve been living with HIV 4 d past 10years, it’s all in ur mind, first u need 2 accept then 4give urself lastly love urself. My CD4 count is still above a 1000 & I’m not on ARV’s yet, I’m beautiful & wear size 38!! It was even harder 4me because I was gang raped when I was 20 at university & I got d virus bt I am certainly living my life to d fullest one thing I knw impilo imnandi & ayinaso ispele so live it cc. Goodluck, I hope u find urself.

    1. Some find it easier to talk to strangers. For example : We can start a chat group where you ask questions get advise. do research.. we dont have to meet. the fact that tyou know the support is there it is emough. and the fact that you know you not alone should help as well.

  33. Which coke is this that costs R100? Lol. Thanks Mike. You’ve made my day as always. Mxolisi representing the pregnant wife ? Yhooo Asthandile, sorry sheim. That’s Kharma for you. Unxibi skhindi straight!


    HIV is not a death sentence my dear. You can still work, study, get promoted, and so on. With a healthy lifestyle, accepting your HIV status and good diet you will live longer. Please find somebody to talk to or a support group. Good luck.

  34. waze wangicasula uJackzorro today!! #really man?? #this wanna be sis dolly title is really getting into your head!! #there was really no need for that name calling,actually your comment nje—even quote the bible nogal!! #hambofa maan!!!!!!!

    Anoun–it is not the end of the world sisi, i dont know what advise i can give you but just keep fighting for you and your boy

  35. Jackzorro no my dear. You sleep with a lot of men not because you want to. Sometimes its frustration that leads you to do that. Its not sfebeism. And in this case it led to her being HIV+

    Please remember that anyone can get HIV whether uyafeba or not. We need to support each other and not judge her coz tomorrow it can be you or me or a close family member.

  36. Thanks Mike. When reading the first chapter again, I wonder how he is going to handle being her lawyer. The story is getting more interesting.

    It is a rule of thumb, when your partner says lets go for tests YOU SHOULD as s/he most likely know something you don’t! It is another rule of thumb to take tests always (when opportunity avail itself) though I know men are more afraid of that and just take a test via their baby mama. Even if you are using condom. If you want to do blame-storming, you can check the status of your baby and that will give you a clue.

    I am sorry that the HIV Forum on news24 has been disabled as it was very good and I learnt a lot. It is a pity that I didn’t search for any forums on the web since but I think there are other good ones where you will find many people in your situation and hear how they are coping and challenges they face. Please search for one especially the anonymous. I can tell you that you still have a great and long life awaiting you. Remember, HIV is not a death sentence.

    I normally say the following after finding out you are positive:
    1. Cry if you have to and sober up then as life is a gift.
    2. Get a CD4 count and Viral Load count. Available quarterly in a clinic or organise with your medical aid and do it (most medical aids have a facility and guidance to help).
    3. If CD4 is below 500 or whatever figure they can recommend at the clinic, then you can start taking arv. If it is higher, dont take them (though everyone believes that if you are + you must take them).
    4. Manage your diet, concentrating on the issues that Manto was being ridiculed for, ie. beetroot, garlic, fish etc. Any unhealthy things you do will damage your CD4 count, therefore your health.
    5. Dont be on a revenge sax saying you are spreading it. You are inviting different kinds (strains) of a virus. Save yourself by continuing with condom.
    6. Live positive! Enjoy life as you still have many years to go.
    7. Join a support group, you are a woman and you normally cope with such. It would be easy or nice if it is internet where you are anonymous. Most of the issues you face, they would be having faced them before and will come up with better remedies that your doctor. Including good doctors who can help manage the virus. Can someone post a good website/forum as I am meeting more people with recent infections.

    Always remember that HIV can happen to anyone, even if married. I also learnt that most of the promiscuous people dont get it but good boys/girls are the ones vulnerable as they dont know the playing rules.

    Sorry for spelling and grammar, I did not proofread this

  37. Thanx mike dat ws nice. N for tho those who think they ar living n a bubble to jugde.I have so much respect for those of us who came out to say yes I am hiv positive , n therz nothing wrong with me I look not different in anyway than u

  38. Karma is a b*tch. I luv it. Sorry Mike without sounding like a know it all will u pls get sum1 2 proofread b4 posting cos lately there’s a lot of mistakes e.g male ticket (meal ticket) n a few others. QnA. Sisi the best u can do is join a support group u’ll find ppl who can encourage u n help u ngalo mthwalo onzima…n read sista. Learn everything n anything u can about this condition I think that will arm u better 2 face it. JackzoRro that was insensitive of u n pls be a bigger man n apologise cos u were adding insult 2 injury n not helping @ all.

  39. Lol, today’s post just made my day, can’t wait to get to the part where she gets to see her face. Let this be a lesson to all them side chicks who think they can get away with it all with their pretty faces.

  40. Thank u Mike! Ausi, it’s not the end of the world. This is 1 of those challenges in ur life. Never ever give up on life. U hav a lot to live for. Ur son needs u. And he’ll need u for a long time. If u can’t find any positive to think about, make him ur positive thought. Join a gym or find a group to talk to. God luvs u. B strong.

  41. Give that man a Bells! I just enjoyed today’s chapter πŸ™‚ <3 marato ke ao Mike.
    Can someone please give Jackzorro a chill pill? @ some point you have slept with someone without a condom so stop acting like a saint, Damn you can be so harsh sometimes.

  42. Thanks Bra Mike for our daily dose.

    People I don’t know why are we attacking Jackzorro today. Lets advice our desperate lady without judging Jackzorro, he’s entitled to his opinion just like anyone on this blog. My sister I know u put yourself in this situation fully aware of other consequences, just go for counseling and joint support group u’ll find advice & friends in your situation. God bless you raise a good man.

  43. @Anonymous I discovered my mother was on ARV’s in early primary school now I’m 24. She has been living with it for a long time and she’s very healthy she rarely gets sick just the flu like the everyone else. It is not a death sentence.As long as u stay healthy

  44. Thanx Mike…really enjoyed yo chapter today….even Mxo did the right thing….hhhmmmm Asthandile is possessed shem she needs prayer….she’s a real sexaholic.

  45. jackzorro hun you are always hitting the nail on the head. its no different today trust me. all you who are offended I say er1 z entitled to their own opinion… thnk u very much

  46. Thanx Mike. A2Q im Saying this to u as Proffesional Nurse With more working Exprience. This days Hiv acording to the statistics of our Hospital its no longer even Falling under top 5 of killing diseases unlike diseases like Cancers, Hypertension, diabetes nd So on. Wht u have 2 do is 2 take care of ur Self take bloods 4 Cd4 count nd viral load nd see if u should with ur treatment based on de results of ur bloods, nd Continue 2 stay healthy nd using a condom @ all times.

  47. QnA.
    sisi, stop feeling sorry fot yourself ryt now. No one has ever been killed by aids, people die coz they don’t accept the disease and allow it to kill all their cells in the body. So worrying about how ull die is just unnecessary stress for you. Luckly for us hiv treatment we get for free, our clinics r free, counselling is free, yabona nje, konke.
    so all you need to do is to accept n conquer the disease. N stop thinking about how n where u got it. It doesnt matter now, its not gonna help you, the damage is done already, so just focus on your life and live positively n stop feeling sorry for yourself, dat wont help nor heal u sthandwa sami.

  48. This 1 is 4 Jackzorro who are u 2 judge this anonymous like its said in the bible again thee without sin cast the 1st stone.I believe no matter what we do if something was meant 4 u it will find u just like death ikulanda under the bed all people do is judge other we don’t know the pain she felt after baby left her its easier 2 judge if the situation is not yours aesuka nawe u have your flaws maybe worse than hers yeses niyangidina shame

  49. …As much as I love Jackzor hai kodwa 2day I think u where just to harsh on the Girl.

    Mike keep up the good work bhuti am added to ur diary since day 1. πŸ™‚

  50. Anon I have no further words as u have already been give a lot of good advices.
    All I can say is accept what u can not change and find the healing and strenghth from a prayer and u will be strong cc.
    I have lent a lot from todays comments, I have lent that when ur partner say let’s go test don’t ignor that (like Bejane said), that line could mean a lot of things and we could inflick our trust on that person thinking that he is clean, this should be a lesson to many out there to take responsibility of your own status.

  51. There is nothing that makes me happy when a person or people calls another to order when he/she is out of order without taking sides. I am impressed about all the people who stood up and called Jackzorro to order today. yOU WERE WAY OUT OF ORDER. I have said this before and i will say it again. Think before you give advice in this block because some advices can really break people. If you have nothing to say, please do us a favour and keep quite, you won’t be crucified by not commenting. there is nothing wrong by saying NO COMMENT.

  52. @Kayvee and Bhejane, I like your comments. Anon should read them with a open mind and heart. All the other people that shared their stories, thank you. I hope Anon gets to read them too because they are inspirational.

    @Anon stay strong. You are not alone and your son needs you.

    I’ve never liked Jackzorro so I’m not shocked by his post.

    1. Makes two of us. Ake morate this guy and I never have from the moment I started reading his comments. Yes he gives profound advises mara o sele kamo he cant even get his dick up setlaela sa le Xhosa! I cant stand judgemental people. There is no one whom has never had unprotected sex mo so askatlo itira skoon pampiier!

      1. worse beither wenze njani locc to get HIV does that not give abo jack watwat nabo coco the right to judge , who knows banga fa kusasa bamshiye epila lo cc.

  53. Mama T, are you for real, 21 already with 2 kids hhay uzidlalela ngathi wena, you sound too experienced. Otherwise A to Q hang in there cc, you not alone seluchithekile lolubisi, vuka uzithathe such is life.

    1. I am hey. For real. Ke le 94′ a Genuine Mandela baby.
      I guess im 1 of the 10% that grew up way too fast….. because of lifes challenges.

  54. @Anon HIV is no longer a death sentence! counselling, prayer and a healthy life style is all you need.

    Did you test after you broke up with your baby daddy? you probably got it from him ngoba you mentioned that he cheated.

    Let this be a lesson to everyone! A wise man learns from the mistakes of others. oh and guys stop judging her so harshly, you’re not exactly angels nani rha

    God’s speed!

  55. I fully agree with you Bontleza, anonymous was asking for advice not insults and he even has the odesity to say SIES MAAN, what good will it do to point out her mistakes cause already she had shared them with us, some people should really think before they talk.

  56. jackzorro just because people like you comments dont mean you have to be plain rude. if you dont know anything about a situation just keep quiet. you dont have to comment everyday somethings are not meant for you.

  57. anonymous the only thing you need to do is accept your status 1st then be honest with yourself about that. dont expect life to be easy you going to cry, you going to feel down,you going to feel overwelmed, you going to feel broken, you going to have tell your family about it but at the end of the day if you take your care of yourself(no sleeping around and eating healthy) believe me you can leave until you see your son get married. it is not about how other people treat you its about how you treat yourself if you thing HIV is going to knock you down guess what that is exactly what it will do but if you tell yourself that it is just a condition you leaving with like diabetes then you will survive

    just be strong and stop trying to figure out how you got it and from whom you got it from that wont help as you will still have it.

    leave life like you dont have the disease in terms of attitude and you will be fine

  58. Thanks mike for this read. As for Q&A my sister that bustard of a boyfriend is the one tha infected you not the other way round. You were using a condom with your exs and he is the only one you did not use a condom with now all of a sudden he has STI and you must go an test. The dog didn’t have the guards to tell you go and test I have infected you. If he has been testing every year and knew he was negative why take the chance of eating your punasi without a condom. I mean why didn’t he encourage you to both go and test. I’m so sorry that you have to go thru that baut HIV is nit the end of the world just live you live positvely and stop stressing yourself about negative thoughts. Bophelo ha bo ya o palla you are just one of the unfortunate ones just take care of yourself and your kid.

  59. Tnx Mama TT for the advise you just gave. HIV is not only for ppl who sleeps around, I go to work in the morning go collect the kids in the afternoon from school and we all go home and do homework and cook. I don’t work with my hubby and I don’t even know what he is doing during the day at work as much as he doesn’t know what I do during the day. My point is I ca also get infected by the patner that I trust and stay with.

  60. Mxo didn’t get his hands dirty,but karma took place very well kuAsthandile. A&Q Annoy don’t live with regrets get yo treatment & live a healthy life for u & yo child.Jackzorro I always respect yo point of view a lot but today u were out of line bhuti,this guy was not forced to have sex without condom maybe he is the one who infacted the poor girl pls Jackzorro be a bit just nje a bit sensitive sometime

  61. DOAZG Family. I have taken insults, compliments, threats and all other stuff you can associate with being human. When I started reading this blog, catching up to all the previous chapters when I disappeared,my ressurection, all of that, I have never changed.

    Some of you will know me from way back, some of ya’ll are recent, therefore you only know the ‘good times’. Whether or not you’ve followed this blog from day one, it has been quite evident that I, Jackzorro write what I like, what I feel, what I know. Careful consideration is given to every feedback I give to writers, each response is screened to ensure that it is within the standard that I live by: Telling the truth, nomatter what, without fear or favour. A degree of respect is inevitably practised to ensure political correctness.

    I may have a following for comments that I give that fellow bloggers sometimes admire, but do not be fooled by that and think it clouds my better judgement, and ofcourse my will to give honest feedback, in its most brutal form where necessary. To say ‘fame’ influences my comments shows lack of understanding for the cause.

    Let me remind you fellow bloggers, love or hate me, I do what I do and I do it best, precisely because the comments I give come from me, within, my experiences, my knowledge and my expertise. I’ve helped others, I’ve been helped by others also. If you do not agree with my comment, it doesn’t mean that it must affect you in anyway. Its not a set standard that Jackzorro’s comments must be the key to each letter, not at all actually. Sometimes I get it wrong, sometimes I get it right, the onnus is on the writer to accept whatever advice WE give, not I give alone and yours discarded. Setting expectations for Jackzorro is why ya’ll are so disappointed for Jackzorro being Jackzorro. Hell, back then I wouldve responded to every critic with a counter attack, but I’m not that anymore.

    You want to read the truth, check my comment, if you don’t then move right down the list to other bloggers who give equally constructive advise if not even better. I remain the same, if I told someone about their mischievous ways, why should I not when the other does the same but with HIV? Without fear or favour.

    I normally apologise when needed, I can’t apologise for being me, then my identity will be lost.

    Jackzorro (The Shrink)

  62. Thanks Mike for this blog is an eye opening to most of your readers. Q\A. Lala don’t despair because of ur HIV status ,HIV is no longer a monster as it was portrayed ,it has became a lifestyle .just be positive and stay healthy as possible for the sake of your son. You have my back sisi (Hugs).

  63. QnA: girl, beating yourself up about will not at all help you…we all make stupid decisions at times! Get yourself into a support grown where you can share your dreams and hopes as well as your fears with people who will understand what you are going through. Surround yourself with people who love and care about you and let your son be your biggest motivation to live a long and healthy life! Good luck babe-girl!

  64. Thank you Mike and team. Mxo ukhohliwe walala noZimasa emanzini I don’t think they used a condom, she might be the next Lindiwe ezosiza uStha kuwe namanyala wakho. Wenza ngathi akusuwe oqale lento. Sis maan man up and sort your problem like a man.
    A- HIV facts uwazwile cc its up to you ukuthi wenzani manje.
    Jackzoro akushoyo nako kuthathe because kumele wamkele iphutha lakho ukuze ukhone ukuyaphambili

  65. Hee lebo “wa mopedi” if you regard jackzorro”skobo sa mo xhosa” as being judgemental then your mirror is really decieving you. You are also very judgemental and what triggers me to comment is that you’re using ubuxhosa buka jackzorro to show how you actually feel about xhosa’s. Jonga we do understand your language and as much as you think jackzorro’s comment today was shit, eyakho yi kaka yona kqala . Did you have to mention him being xhosa? When malema is out of line do you hear us xhosa’s saying la nkwenkwe ya mopedi? Rhaa!

  66. QnA. sisi my heart always very touched by people who make one mistake and unfortunate it has such bad results reason being we all make mistake and some of us more than once but instead of thanking God for saving us we quick to judge people like u. i didnt see ubufebe mna because u did not say that you slept with all those men at the same time. if a relationship ingasebenzi there is nothing wrong in moving on. coming back to u gal HIV positive status is not a death sentence i think u have to start there. it is a status and to u it is information that at least help you to know and then leave accordingly to ensure a long life. most people will say all sort of things to u only to find that they dony even know theirs. it is always better to know yr status early because then it gives a chance to take care of yr self and leave a healther life. good luck babe gal

  67. Hey Anonymous!
    Hiv is not a death sentence, I was diagnosed with the virus 9 years ago. I am a 31 year old living a positive and healthy life with my 9 year old son. At first it’s scary as you think it’s the end of your life, but it’s just the beginning of it. Wishing you all the best!

  68. Thanks Mike! That was an unexpected twist!

    Lekgarebe, pls try to stay with the argument. What does ubuxhosa have to do with the price of bread? And how do u know Jack can’t get it up?
    Jackzorro, I love you to bits but that was not constructive at all.

    @Anon, HIV/Aids is not the death sentence it used to be. You can still live a fulfilling life and achieve many things. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, what’s done is done. Keep your head up, take care of yourself and start living again. If not for yourself, then do it for your son.

  69. I’ve once said it and most of you thought that maybe I was crazy, most of the time I don’t comment unless I feel its necessary to do so. but according to my thinking when a reader send a letter he/she is looking for constructive advise. he/she already know that she has messed up, so what is the way forward to help her move on from her problems. so if your busy reminding her how stupid she was then you aren’t helping. the are many letters that I felt the advises could have been better. but because this Jackzorro has become the Hereo of the blog that you just agree with him if even when his not making any sense mxm

  70. @Jackzorro…..Ukhuluma Ibhodo elikhuntayo manje, I think your prime of life is still stuck in Disneyland. And for the lady, Your life is about your son and for your info people who are infected are living for 30 years now, thanks to advancement of medicine. so just focus on your self.

  71. Hhaybo Mike, what is happening is it me or what, aren’t we supposed to get our daily dose of memoirs? Lashona ilanga, musa ukuyenza lento Mike usasijwayeza.

  72. Jackzorro o rata attention! Shut up and sit your sorry ass down!! Who died and made you Jesus? Sies man, you are the disgusting one! Where do you get off you punk??nxla

    Sorry Sisi. No one and I mean no one, even scum of the earth like Jack-fuckin-zorro deserves to get infected! You are young and beautiful and got so much to live for. Ska reetsa negativity, choose to live and let God.

    **waitse Jackzorro o ntenne, fuck!!

  73. As much as ashandile is to blame xolisi is jst as guilty I actually feel sorry 4 u asi nyani cz hubby is playing innocen kodwa naye hs a whore.. Thnx anyway mike

    QnA hiv is not a death sentence lolo uzoba sharp

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