In this modern world, when you date a girl for so long you eventually meet the parents. They don’t chase you out with a dog and shot gun when he brings you to attend family events such as funerals and weddings. At times you help with the peeling and so on because as a girlfriend you support him openly. It’s no longer about paying lobola first to meet parents but about being modern. With that said I had met his father a few times. Yes he did not say a lot to me but he knew me. When Mudenda’s sister got married I had slept over, not in Mudenda’s room of course and had helped with everything there. More importantly when I got pregnant he knew about it and had been angry at Mudenda for not marrying me first. It’s weird then that after he dumped me, not once had anyone from that family called me considerring they knew I was pregnant. Did he think I was dead? He chased after me leaving the Moses basket in the foyer. It was actually kind of hilarious in a pathetic way. I know people all tell you that babies are the most amazing things but they forget to tell you that this is only if they are wanted. Only a mother can say that. This man wanted nothing to do with his grandchild, his blood and hit first born grandson.
“I will not stand for this! What happened was between you and my son so do not get me involved in your rubbish. I was against this from day one so take your child and go!”
I stopped and turned around. This man was a leader in his community and a church leader too. I kid you not. At Kodane’s wedding his church had helped with most of the work because he was highly respected. He was those men that wore uniform and that’s saying a lot for these losers.
“Who is supposed to take care of him? My mother? So you allow your son not to be responsible because you expect the mothers of the girls he makes pregnant to take care of them?”
I stood up to him defiantly. He looked stupid for a moment but I was not done,
“There is no one who does not know me in your family. I have slept in your house. Your brothers and their kids know me and know that your son made me pregnant! So now you want to say your family is not responsible? Are you serious right now? Man of God!”
I think that irked him when I said that because he found his voice.
“He told us that the child was not his and that you were cheating on him. We have no reason to doubt our son because we know how much he loved you!”
This man was putting up a good fight pity his son had bullshitted him but that was between them. I had given them a grandchild meaning the rest was up to them. We stood there and glared at each other. There is a reason why I had not chosen to go to his mother’s work place. You see, women fight back and probably will win. Men do not know how to handle a girl. If I wanted to stop this all I could do was start crying out loud but that would be a mission for another day. Cry like a Nigerian woman in a Nigerian movie type of cry! That would get his attention!
“Go look at that child and tell me that he does not look like Mudenda. I have never ever cheated on your son. He is the one who cheated. Remember Zama, my friend I came with and you said you knew her father, he slept with her. Now your new daughter in law, Meladi, you also know her because I also came with her to Kodane’s wedding and she helped cook! My two best friends he slept with them!”
He looked dumbfounded and he unwittingly whispered out loud,
“I knew I knew her! I told his mother and she did not believe me but again that’s not my problem. Mudenda works so it’s his job not mine. Take your child home!”
He said. People were starting to stare. I had to stand my ground. It must be so annoying for a man when he is denying his child but his child looks exactly like him. You can’t run away from that and you just look stupid doing it. Mudenda looked like his father too so poor family was cursed. Nowhere to run. If he wasn’t carefull this old man I would start shouting the baby was his. Just kidding.
“My mother does not have the money. My family has no respect for me. I am not taking him home. My family needs your family to come pay damages for me. You can call the police or whatever you want to do but that child is staying here!”
I walked out and went to the car. My sister asked me where my baby was and I told her to drive. She said over her dead body because there was no way she was leaving Amo behind. I should have told her the plan before we came but I knew she would fight me. I explained to her that this was Mudenda’s office and I needed him to do the right thing. I told her to drive but not to worry. She was uneasy but she listened. Thank heavens. I had not reached the first turn even when my phone rang. It was Mudenda!
“You stupid bitch! What the fuck is wrong with you?”
That was the first thing he said. I hate being called bitch. I don’t even call my female friends my bitches. It’s totally disrespectful and crude. It disrespects women and there is totally nothing cool about. A bitch is a whore or slut from last I checked so why the hell would I condone being looked down upon like that, hell no! I hung up! He called back and I picked up.
“Why the hell are you hanging up?”
He yelled! I hung up. I waited ten seconds and he called again.
“If you hang up I am going fuck shit up!”
I hung up. He dialled again I hung it up. This happened ten times until my sister asked me to stop this game. I put my phone on silent. Ten missed calls later is when when he stopped.
I then sent him an sms,
“Is that any way to speak to the mother of your first born? Call me when you learn manners!”
I switched off my phone.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
This a bit complicated as It happened a long time ago.
I am 25years old and I was sexually abused by my cousin at the age of 10. It all started when there would be no food at home and I went to his house looking for his parents and they were not around. I would ask him for bread or something and after giving me he would lock the door and start fingering me, I was scared to protest because I didn’t know what he was doing and why he was doing it, then one day he forced penetration. It was so painful and he told that if I told anyone our family would hate me. I was scared to say anything.
Now we have grown and it still eats me up. I think about it every day and I am still scared to tell anyone coz it was a long time ago and I don’t think they will believe me. He now works as a cop and has a family, I try so hard to pretend I am fine around his girlfriend but I sometimes look at his son and feel like hurting him just to hurt his father :(. Will I ever be okay? How do I forget? Does the pain ever go away?