Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Three

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

My first instinct was hell no I was not going to that funeral. Was he mad? Who pays damages for a dead person carrying a child that he is not even sure how he came to being. This was extortion. I am from East London and I am often how Joburg people are chancers and this guy was definitely one of them. He was stupid if for one moment he thought I would be falling for that con. Did he just say I must pay damages? He must have lost his mind. I hung up on him. He had just insulted the memory of his sister by trying to extort me. I was not going to the funeral! Why is this world so full of criminals though? Honestly what is wrong with black families though? A funeral does not count as a funeral unless there is drama. It’s almost as though we need to drama to make it memorable. Without it I promise it is as though we cannot remember the person who died so we force issues anyway. I might as well force myself to swallow a bullet. These family funerals can get rowdy especially where money is involved and I was not about to get my ass kicked.

I remembered that Lindiwe had said that she had another child. I cant even recall whether she had said a boy or a girl. I wonder what had happened to that child’s father. Would he now come take his child? Highly doubt that though. That’s the thing with us men, we can abandon a woman regardless of whether she is successful or not, beautiful or plain, rich or poor. Was I being like those men now by refusing the unborn child?
Khanyi called and said she was on her way back. I told her I would also be the within the hour. I had never really had a wife who worked because when Asthandile went to work she used to come home so late and usually without telling me. Now here was Khanyi practically telling me her every move. Dalu called me and said we should meet up for about ten minutes because he had something to ask me. I was still in town so from his place it was not too far. I agreed and I went. His wife was not there, it was just him.

‘Thanks for coming. How are you holding up?”

He asked me,

“I am fine regardless of what Lindiwe’s brother tried to pull!”

He was a bit surprised,

“Lindiwe’s brother?”

He asked,

“Yes him!”

I then proceeded to explain everything that had happened. He listened attentively then at the end he asked me what I was going to do of which I told him I was not going. How could I go with a barrel of gun pointed at my head? Dalu advised me to go. He said I must do the honourable and not shame Lindiwe’s memory in death! This guy smoked something we all don’t! Was he mad? Hell no I was going to embarrass myself like this. I asked him why he had invited me over and he said that it was because Asthandile had called him and asked him to talk to me about our marriage. I was quite annoyed that he had picked up the call at all. I told him that my mind was set on divorce and I was not changing that anytime soon. He said as a friend of the couple had a duty to at least try but I was not hearing it. I stood up and left. He can go advise Asthandile.

When I got to Khanyi’s she was already making supper. She was wearing an apron and had taken off her work clothes to wear shorts. I can’t believe this is the same woman whom in the morning before I went to work had me checking my brakes. That’s how much I did not trust her yet looking at her cook she was so normal and appealing.

“You are later than I thought, what happened?”

I told her I stopped at a friends then was searching for a place to stay. She seemed a bit annoyed at the last bit.

“Honestly you don’t have to waste money like that. You can stay as long as you want and who knows you and Asthandile can work things out!”

She said.


I snapped back. Fuck! She had set me up. She was testing to see my feelings for Asthandile and the glow on her face after I said that betrayed it all! Should be more careful in future.

I pause, if a man is a good man and another woman is not appreciating this, should you as a single woman take your chances and go for him? It’s selfish I think to judge someone for seeing a good opportunity and ceasing the moment. Khanyi however was dreaming if I could allow her second class ass my future. No offense to housemaid but even now, next to my evil soon to be ex wife, I would rather marry the Aunty next door. Women don’t get it! If you present yourself as an over sexualized beast, no matter how hot you are, as a man I am happy just fucking you not wedding you! Stability at home is important not watching your back and checking her phone every time. I was here because I needed a place to stay for now not to be play husband, a role I had failed!

“What’s for supper?”

I asked her with a smile. She said it was a surprise and supper would be ready in an hour. I was not that hungry.

“O I bought something new today can you give me a second opinion?”

I agreed. She went upstairs. I had to go through my prenup so I sat myself down and started writing up all my assets. This would help in speeding up the case.

“Ahem ahem!”

Khanyi cleared her throat from behind me. Why didn’t she take longer? Just when I was going into the zone. I turned…

There stood Khanyi in lingerie. It was not just any lingerie, it was a fetish themed fantasy one piece nurse uniform like, with garters and heels. She was so sexy that much I don’t doubt.

“Do you like it?”

She purred at me!

My eyes watered that’s how good she looked.

She needed a response and boldy I responded,

“You look so cheap!”

Turned around and went back to my work!

****The End****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Brother Mike

I read the letter from that Frans guy who raped. A lot of people said he must be forgiven and how noble he is. Fuck that shit, these are the men that make us look like animals. My sister was raped by two guys whose docket disappeared when they were supposed to go to trial. I looked for them, I found them, I beat the shit out of them. One moved from my township and the other one started attending parties, being a cool dude! I went after him again beat him to the point of hospital and made sure everyone knew what an animal he was. My sister has never fully recovered. We have taken her for counselling and it breaks my heart to see her fall apart the way she has. She was doing her first year medicine and doing well too but now she is not even schooling. It destroyed her!

So no Mr Frans I do not forgive rapists! How do you get to get second chances? Cut off your dick then we will forgive you! You chose to be an animal and I will never not look at you as anything else!



91 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Three

  1. So early today Mike, thank you.
    Marubini- you are a good brother and I’m sorry about your sister. I can only imagine your despair, not being able to help her through this. Rapists are the scum of the earth.

  2. Thanks Mike nice chapter again. I would not have gone to the funeral as well. Mxo is going to pay for rejecting the advance of Khanyi, what if there are cameras at Khanyi recording his every move? Or Astha got a PI to follow him to Khanyi. It is becoming interesting.

    Marubini; I understand your anger. Though you have every right to be angry but you should accept that Frans has paid his due (equivalent of your multi-beating) and was not a participant but a spectator. He is equally guilty as others in my opinion.

    Now a question for you is what should he do to show his remorse and how to “pay” his guilt; yes the crime will not be erased. If it was one of your cousins who did this stupid and evil thing, what would you tell him to do now since he is out of jail? That is the basis of our statement that he must go and appologise to the family and try to teach other young men on the evil of rape.

    1. Bhejane my brother, I disagree with you and I have let you know straight. You can’t measure the equivalence of doing time to multiple beatings. You can’t justify for the sake of it that one does time and therefore their crime is null and void. There is absolutely no amount of time or beatings that can ever excuse or substitute for the impact of rape. if we weren’t in a democratic state, such acts would be punishable by death. We cannot therefore stand in a corner with the same people that ruined the lives of our own out of their own accord. Marubini’s sister didn’t choose to be raped, Frans was an active participant who laughed and took guide. So must we just accept a peace deal like our politicians who sold out? At the expense of our women and children? No ways buddy. I would much rather do time and not care to be forgiven for killing the dog who raped my sister. Ponder that for a second.

      1. Jackzorro you are 110% correct. I would kill someone who rapes my daughter and gladly go to jail for that (minus 1 savage in our society)…..

      2. @Jackzorro, I agree that jail time and rape can not be equated (nor jail time and beatings if you assume jail is another hotel). But after a certain level of punishment, what should be happening to Frans? We were not saying punishment should come to an end but what after that punishment?

        I understand that the evil done by Frans was horrible, but what should he do from now? I understand that he will have to work his whole life to obtain atonement even if he can ask to be castrated.

        Remember, Frans was not seeking forgiveness (nor do I say he should get one) on his writing but was highlighting his remorse on his participation. That is the reason we say he should appologise to the family as well (without expecting forgiveness).

        Like in my last paragraph, what would you tell Frans to do to show everybody how sorry he is and what punishment should he ask for himself?

    2. Lolz Bhejane creative thinking giving the team ideas…appluase to Mxo for rejecting her just hope he does not give in coz he can be so patheticly weak.

  3. Even in anger, we shall try and remain as adult and as respectable as possible. Not so long ago we received a letter from a 14year old, we cannot condone such grammar, regardless of the point coming across. Let’s practice restraint in our letters and our responses, or atleast censor such by * or #. Its not much of an effort guys, it just shows respect for Mike and the fellow bloggers and ourselves. I’m guilty of it too sometimes. Just attempt guys.

    Marubini bro, I can’t feel your pain, I have no clue what you go through, and what your dearest sister goes through. As a brother myself, I would probably do the same you did, proly worse, by dishing out homocides. Find strength in the faith that you have for something divine bro, be a pillar for your sister. Let your masculinity be the beacon of hope and protection. Be her hero and aid her recovery, even if it takes you years to accomplish. Your sister is broken, but she is a child of God, she is still repairable. Frans on the other hand can go jump of a cliff…get a butcher and do an amputation straight up.

    Thanks Mikeesto

  4. Ha ole side dish u will always look cheap, that’s why banna ba sa nyale bo makhwapheni. @Bhejane what happened to you taking a break from commenting? Phela don’t forget gore o re laetse

    1. @Mama-Ole
      A “while” is now over. If you can go to that message you will realise that I did an introspection of comments and realised that I was being harrassed by PLAYGROUND BULLIES. Go check message on that.

  5. What is wrong with you guys though? telling another person to go jump of a cliff and stuff.. yes I was also raped at 14 but i had forgiven that person and moved on.. and yes the memory can never be erased and all but I can never wish death upon another person. . calling yourselves Christian yet you want to crucify someone.. He had cone out and wants to pay his debts for what he has done.. want to be a better person and all but instead of helping him we are beating him up… coz if the guy who had raped me was still alive I would want him to come apologise for real.. A Marubini i really understand what your sister is going through, I have been there trust me and I have seen my siblings break down when they saw what I was going through…. but with God on our side we shall overcome anything. .. but death and jumping of a cliff is never the answer… It does not take away the pain at all your sister will still have to live with that thought..

    anyway Mike..thanks for the blog and platform. ..

  6. Being a woman in this country to me its like a curse, every time I walk on the street I have to look at my back because of the fear I have that I might be the next victim of rape. I pray God not to give me a baby girl because I fear she will be raped, I pray for my son every day not to become a rapist. Is this the life we are supposed to live maar? Yesterday I passed a stranger I was so scared because he was looking at me. I hate living with this fear

    1. Thank you Nomvula, now by us forgiving these people its like we actually condoning this horrible act.U right u Jackzorro mxm. Now as women we living in fear knowing that oh well the rapist will ask for an apology…….hell no ngiyala.

  7. Mxo is on an anti-virus against these women… I like, I like.. Thanx mike.

    Q n A forgiving someone is not condoning the act or excusing their behaviour but ensuring that their behaviour doesn’t destroy your heart… leave it all to God. He sees, n He knows trust that n just b there for your sister.

    1. I could not have said it better. You are very right. Having the feeling of hate towards somebody is like drinking poison and expecting that person to die. But then again i could only be talking so lightly because it has never happened to me or to somebody close to me. Its a tough situation i think

  8. Funny thing. I had a disagreement this morning with my boyfriend. I’ve been raped. Several times but two men. I forgive them. But not because they deserve it but I needed to do it for myself. To escape my nightmare. Even attended the funeral of one and I cried. Because he never apologised for what he did and for the mercy I showed him.

    This happened seven years ago. And still I have nightmares. You don’t get fixed by forgiving. Last night I had another nightmare. I kept crying kicking and screaming and every time I woke up my boyfriend was there. Trying to hold me and make me feel safe. But I kept running away from him and ended up sleeping in the spare room.

    Basically what I’m saying is forgiving is not forgetting. It doesn’t wipe any slate clean. Rape is a wound not everyone heals from. But holding a grudge and beating the rapists doesn’t undo anything either although I’d do the same thing if my daughter was raped.

  9. OUCH! harsh response Mxo but I am glad you didn’t fall for it. She probably has a hidden camera somewhere so she can run to her bestie with it…………

    I disagree with Jackzorro’s comment on the part of the sister being a child of God and being repairable but Frans must go jump off a cliff. Frans did not brag about what he and his friends did (unless I missed something) and he can easily be a child of God and be repaired too. God does not say I have no room for certain people, he says come as you are and be saved. I do not condone rape in any form but I would not be true to evangeli if I say God will repair rape victims and not rapists. God repairs anybody who seeks him, he forgives and he restores. If Frans seeks God, he will be forgiven and if the guys who raped Marubini’s sister also seek God, they will be forgiven. The thing is we humans find it hard to forgive, myself included and that is what we need to work on. A person who does something wrong to you might die without ever apologising for what they did so imagine carrying all that anger your whole life. Judgement day will come and everyone will be accountable for their own actions.

    1. I agree with you. People want to act like God in this life. I personally commend people who comeout and say I have done wrong, here I am as opposed to people who always think they are right. I do not see how the author of todays letter is helping the sister by constantly beating the perpetrators as opposed to helping his sister get to a better place. One thing I have learnt in this life is that what people do has got absolutely nothing to do with me but what I do in response to what people do has got everything to do with me. The difference between the letter of today and that of Frans is that he acknowledges that what he did or did not do was wrong and in todays letter we have a person who is yet to come to that understanding. I will say this to the “fuming brother” this battle is not ours but the Lords…seek ye first that kingdom and all other things shall be added unto you…including wisdom to be able to deal with the situation better. I too have been a victim of many crimes and my knowledge is that for as long as ngisaphefumula, victory is mine. I choose not to dwell in my mishaps but what I can do to get myself to a better standing. The perpetrators of crime and violence against me have themselves to deal with and God willing I will see their faces when their time to deal with their deeds comes. No amount of beating will ever make you feel better until you deal with the problem at hand and that is your sister was raped and it has affected her, she needs help to get through that ordeal and not you to keep taking her back there with every beating you give out.

  10. Nyc 1,I wonder wht dd Bhejane du tht ur even tellin’ him not to coment here,kanti whose blog in this?banye bathi he’s jackzoro wanna be realli?cha sekuya nyanyisa now,if umuntu efuna uku coment they free to du so atlist mike aint got a problem with it n since Bhejane angathukanga muntu,if yall only wants to read only jackzorroz coments jst du so n get the fuck outta here n leave this dude alone nxa

  11. Let’s not fight each other, let’s debate the issues at hand. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and everyone is free to read and comment on these blogs.

  12. I think dat Fans guy said he was a lookout, he never raped his only guilt is dat he never tried to stop them. I understand yo anger Marubini n I feel for u n yo family. May God help you to find peace n forgiveness in you.stay blessed

  13. Thanks Mike. Q@A: I’m not gonna judge about this guy wanting to revenge for his sister but what I need to make people understand as a rape surviver is that when it happened it just not affect the victim but the whole family also becomes affected by it as the are many motions and anger about what happened. Some of the members will go to a point of blaming themselves for not protecting their loved ones and that is why cancelling is needed for everyone involved. As for the rapists I’m sorry to say this but I don’t feel sorry for them as what they did is something painful and some of us pay for the after effects even when the years have passed. My aunt who was also raped has to raise a child after that ordel and the guy came back apologizing which to me was very inhuman of him. I also on the other hand finded myself getting married young as Iwanted to prove to my ffamily and world that I was okay but that person took away a part of me that will never be given back. They say that forgiveness heals but how can you heal when all the scars are still there each day you wake up?

    1. @Fan
      I am sorry about your ordeal. I will never imagine what happened to you and understand that your family was affected. I just want to know what would you want the perpetrator to do in order to show how sorry he is for the damage done to you and all other women including their families? I dont say so that you can forgive him as that is your choice and you should take your time to forgive, but I want him to show his apology to the society (apology is not a right to be forgiven).

      1. Bhejane i think you will understand this much better if you wer a victim. Right now you not getting it, nothing will ever be enough, mayb if turning back the time was possible. Either than that they can keep their apologies,gees you do not get it.

  14. If we as rape victims have to live with the nightmare for the rest of our lives then rapists should live with the guilt laying heavily on their conscious. they knew exactly what they were doing. When they starred at the fear in our eyes and heard our cries and screams begging them to stop they didn’t say “she’s enjoying it. she’s enjoying it”

    An apology doesn’t undo the damage. We are marked and it seems like other rapists can tell you a perfect target.

  15. yes i agree wth bhejane 4giveness heals, i ws also raped and its wsnt easy to move on but i chose 2 live my life the way i wnt it be be. i asked God to make me strong and i eventualy 4gave the guy. i see him his life is a mess and of coz God is punishing him so nna i dnt have to worry abt him bt my own life. and i also make mistakes and ask for forgiviness. i love myself to much, i dnt have tym to fight or hold grudges. pray for ur sister and tell her that she must ask God to make changes in her life, i told myself that im not gonna bring the past in my present life because they wont bring anythng new. im strong, it wsnt easy bt i made it!! forgive him if u wnt to move on

  16. Frans only apologised because it happened to him in jail. If it had not, he would have just carried on with his life like he was nothing. So he can take his sorry excuse of an apology and do us all a favour and hang himself. Has he said sorry to the girl? He only wrote here for sympathy and for us to make him feel better. Crocodile tears. He is not sorry that one. FRANZ here is a tip..Go hang yourself’

  17. A friend of myn once told me that forgiveness brings healing, she was raped when she was 16 yrs.the guy was never arrested.she said I decided to forgive him for my healing.

  18. A thought worth pondering on…life is not fair, was never meant to be and will never be. In todays letter we find someone who’s sister was physically raped by some idiots, this ordeal continues to happen to her every single day mentally and emotionally ( as it seems from the letter) the whole family is also being raped continously by the stigma and also seeng their daughter turn into something she is not, they also suffred rape in the hands of the justice system with the dockets going missing and now the brother continously rapes himself emotionally and psychologically as it seems the issue will never end. Truth is for as long as you allow the incident to control you, you will never enjoy life. Remember that life expectancy has recently gone down from 65 to 61.5 years. You can choose today to live the remainder of those years…(when I calculate I have less that 30 years left according to this) or you can choose to co-exist and be shaped by every situation that happens in and around your life. So writer of todays letter,if I was near I would come and take your sister out…she needs to know that there is life beyond that ordeal.

    1. I find your comments utterly useless,insensetive and down right idiotic, talk about taking her out, have you no shame dude? how can one even fathom a lighter side to rape, like are you that naïve? Your reckless comments may have gone unnoticed to many, but I was deeply offended. People like you, who are quick to say leave it to God, don’t dwell on the past, are the same punks who be tryiner murder everything breathin when catching a spouse cheating. The nerve!!! To think that you are 31 years shows the tragedy of inadequacies that goes with age lately. Wonder if you’d be cool with someone taking your sister out because of her rape ordeal that ruined her life… Leave it all to God? for F*cks sake how the hell is that suppose to make her feel better???! Life expectancy can be 30 for all I care, still aint gonna bring down none of the trauma nigger been through.

      1. Its people like you who think they know everything that make this world a hideous place to be in. If you were to isolate this matter, you would realise that it is not about you and my saying I would take her out is not for her to have coffee and smile at the sun but to try and solicit help for her. Like I said to you, I too have been a victim and I am a better person now because God fights my battles. You should try it…maybe then you would actually see that there is more to life then thinking you know it all….when you know Jack….no pun intended (hope you will get this)

  19. Well with the comment that keeps poping about wt should Frans do my suggestion is he must first seek 4giveness frm God because he didn’t only do wrong from the gal bt from the face of the lord 2. I can stand firmly and say that 2 me things happenned differently as the rapist was killed whilst still awaiting trial by the other offenders. They only said he killed himself whilst trying to escape so to me that said a lot. God works in miracles so u don’t need to lift even a finger but just your eyes to the Lord where help comes from

  20. To everyone who’s got issues with bhejane’s comments, what’s it to you that he’s got a different view from yours or jackzorro’s or anybody else on this blog, he’s free to express his opinion whether u like it or not and to banish him is utter nonsense, if mike doesnt want him then he’d tell him to eff off himself, go create your own blog to banish him there, I personally think his opinion matters regardless of whether I disagree with him or not.. u gain wisdom by opening ur mind to different views, not by banishing someone cz his opinion differs or u think that he wants to be the next jackzorro.

  21. F that shame, time doesn’t heal anything. As long as the person is still breathing the pain always comes back.

    So God does forgive i don’t

    1. Tisha I feel your anger as I was raped when I was 5, I’m well in my 30’s but remember that day as it was yesterday. Still see the bastards face when he looked at me and raped me. That is why I will kill the savage who rapes or even attempt to rape my daughter because I don’t want her to go through what I went trough all my life……

      1. And i dont expect anyone who hasn’t been thru what we have been thru to understand the pain and trauma, the cheapness, the dirtyness, the stench etc
        I dont wish it for anyone

  22. Nice read Mike
    Yoh you’ll intense today. Hope that nigga Fans reading. Nothing is cast in stone. Do what you feel is right. u might take a bullet for it, as long as you tried.
    Mr Marubini, if it make you feel better bra, beat the shit out of him. “the beatings will always heel” food for thought.
    Counselling and therapy is lacking in black communities and cultures, we are told to “siqine” swallow a concrete shake and be strong. My nigga Mari even if you kill that rapist, he will forever haunt you subconsciously (not ghost ish). You fam needs each other my man, kakhulu you sister. Don’t fail her.

  23. Ayi mayb i read wrong bt Frans dd nt rape he was on the lookout for his fwds n besides he paid for his sins n those of his fwds by being raped twice while doing his jail time n he wrote dat letter coz he is stil feeling da guilt so he dd pay for his mistakes

  24. Ngiyezwa nje nikhuluma ngokuhlolela umuntu idlwengulayo,ngiyabona anikaze nifice ingane enenyanga nje eziwu 6 idlwenguliwe indoda endala bese uzokhuluma ngokuxoxela.mina umuntu odlwengulile ngiyamubulala kulungile sengozifica ezulwini ke lezo zono zami

  25. Thanx abuti Mike,lol Mxo ke boSso

    Interesting comments indeed, people need to understand one thing and that is we are all entitled to our opinion, freedom of speech, and that we should just stop dissing Bhejane already its getting old now, let’s focus at the matter at hand and I agree with jackzorro let’s just cut it off with the cursing please.

    As I was reading the comments tears rolled down my cheeks to actually realize that a whole lot of women have been raped, this is really sad and painful especially when u have a daughter, for how long do we have to live in fear , to all women and children out there that are victims I’m really sorry for ur pain and the horror you went through stay strong and keep on praying.

  26. It’s really heartbreaking to see so many of our sisters here commenting that they’ve been victims of rape, what is happening really, has rape become a trend in this country ?

  27. Dankie TaMike.

    Ria it’s so easy for you to preach forgiveness coz that monster who raped you is now dead,we all know that deep down you ecstatic he’s dead,anyway it’s a saying we all know “FORGIVE AND DON’T HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST THE DEAD”.Well it becomes too easy coz you know the basterd got what they diserved.Marubini and his sister could easily forgive that scum if he were to die but not while he’s still alive,apologised or not!! Easy for you to sa Ria.

  28. Yho the heaviness of today’s comments, I can feel the hatred, the sadness and the stigma that just won’t go.

    I was nearly raped once by a guy from church, I can’t say I understand what you all went through but trust me when I say two wrongs don’t make a right. I don’t want to speak about God because most of you would then ask, where was God when all that happened, even though He says. I will never leave you nor forsake you!

    I am asking all of you to take a moment and think, think of all that happened in your lives, the good, bad, the horrible and think of where you are today? Would you rather be dead because of those situations or be alive to make a difference in the world? Yes its unfortunate what happens to us women but in today’s world not even a baby boy is safe. However, what are we doing to change that? Are we just going to promote killings amongst ourselves just because justice needs to be served or are we going to rise up and do something about it? If you say, if they rape my child, I will kill them then the parent of the rapist you killed ,comes and kills you. who will you child then be left with because we all for killing each other?

    Almost 5 or more ladies here said they were raped, what are you doing to ensure it doesn’t happen to anyone else again? We are so bitter people and it is this bitterness that we don’t want to deal with that will kill us all. By turning us against each other.

    I am just wondering is it okay to promote killing amongst ourselves with the “thinking” that we making things better? For who are we making them better? Our children? their children’s children? Is that really what we will be leaving behind for the next generation?

    1. Buttercup, is this accepting of everything that happens in life normal? They say if life gives you lemon, make a Tequila, what if you don’t drink? We can’t just accept things as if its fate. The reason we go to school, varsity and seek employment is because we can’t live things as they are, regardless of fate, things aren’t guaranteed in life. So are we suppose to accept these rapes as if it was fate? We all know we going to die, why not stop working so damn hard to be successful because at the end, we all shall perish? Not everything is as cut and dried as biltong.

      These are peoples lives we are talking about, peoples lives which are purposefully ruined by other mere beings. Are we suppose to accept that others have right of way on others? Hell no. At the end of it all, only Faith keeps us connected to God, none of us humans have any concrete evidence of such existence, only faith. So I would much rather answer to God why I killed the bastard that raped my daughter than let it go while God will also forgive him. God forgives, I sure as hell Don’t.

  29. Guys, I don’t think the point is coming across as expressed. @Bhejane, we have stated time and again that the only resolve would be for Frans to ‘Hang Himself’ no apology needed there. No amount of apologising will ever heal whatever action that will leave lifetime scars. The sisters that got over rape, good for you. But we can’t act like all is good because rape doesn’t only affect the victim, just like HIV.

    Fellow bloggers, you need to think outside of the box, yet again I mention that a young girl recently went missing, after another suffered the same fate and was mutilated and murdered. whether or not Frans raped or not, he was an active participant of a cruel and horrible crime. @Sbucie, I’m not at all implying that God forgives certain ones.. But are you supposed to kill me and seek God just because he forgives and he is a forgiving God?

    Bafethu most of us here are black people, if so then most of us surely come from rural backgrounds. With that said, an eye for an eye is justice, regardless of how remorseful one seems. You can’t truly know If the remorse shown is genuine.

    My heart is surely sinking right now! I hope it doesn’t cloud my judgement, but be that as it may, this ideal that I’m expressing is one that I will forever live for, by God, one that I am even prepared to die for.


  30. wena bhejane your comments never make sense. You talk shit. Wait until you are raped then you can say such rubbish… Entlik ohloka magenza ako Alex atlo go bontsha gore go feela jwang for one to do such a despicable thing ko wena, how one rips of your dignity and steals away part ya botho ba gago that I am not sure one can ever get back so until you are raped and have been through that trauma then you have no right at all to be saying nonsense eh wei ngwadileng moo!!! tsek maan

  31. I wasn’t gonna comment but I feel I shud. Lucky for me I was never raped but I lost a very dear person in my life. So forgive me for saying thing but Frans can go fuck himself. After 8 years of my cousin trying to deal with the ordeal of being raped by a neighbour who was released within a year because of good behaviour, she cudn’t take it. I saw my beautiful cousin actually go crazy and @ the end committed suicide. So Frans go to hell. I hope u suffer. Ke sorry but ga ke morena jesu. It’s easy to say “forgive, forgive”. I will never forgive them. Any1 who hurts innocent people shud just suffer. No1 deserves to b put though that. And wena abuti o shapang batho, keep beating the hell out of them. They deserve more than that

  32. Marubini seems like u also need conselling 1st n 4most. Frans didn’t rape his friends did and the guy paid dearly he served 4 14 years in prison got raped 4 me that’s more than enough n your anger won’t change your sisters situation u need 2 yourself 2 help her find closure if coz this I see its also desroying u dear god 4gives even the worst of sinners jesus did also on cross he 4gave a thief mina all I’m saying is your anger isn’t helping and going around beating ppl up is gonna get u in jail as well mend your ways

  33. Nothing annoys me than having a person trying to influence other peoples thinking or outlook in certain situations. If you want his dick cut then that’s your opinion. If you want him hung then thats your opinion. Just don’t try to change our views as to how we some of us think it should be aswel. I’ve never been raped and I don’t have a close friend or family member who has been through such an ordeal… But what I d know in my heart is that as long as you were man/woman enough to admit to your wrongs, show remorse and apologise for your sins then you are pretty on your way to becoming a better person.
    As much as Frans(yesterdays letter) was not the one of the guys who raped the young girl, he was a bystander which made him an accomplice to the crime. IN MY OPINION he has paid his dues, not only by going to jail but becoz now he has to live with it for the rest of his life.

  34. Nice chapter mike .Thank you and the team.

    Guys one thing we missing is, forgiving itself is a way of healing.the other thing is as long as we live in this new South Africa enjoying the benefit that comes with it ,we must adapt to the cons that comes with it too. Prisons are there to rehabilitate ppl who have harm society. Let us not be quick to crucify them ,and give them a chance in life to change who they was before.

  35. Thanks Mike!

    @ Bhejane, you asked what would one advise a cousin in Frans’ shoes. Now I ask, in Marubini’s shoes, how would you react to your sister being raped and falling apart before your eyes?

    I understand what Frans was saying and I know that our God is a Father of all. He forgives everyone that seeks Him, victim and perpetrator alike.
    I am not condoning Marubini’s actions, not at all. But I doubt I will remember all that if someone raped my sister or daughter. Even though I know that no amount of beating or jail term will make things better or my sister better; i will wish for – and probably do my best to inflict – maximum pain & destruction on the culprit. Sure, Frans was a lookout. But it is because he was a lookout that his friends could do as they see fit on the victim. So he is just as guilty, if not more because he enabled them to hurt a little girl.
    That being said, I do believe that when someone asks for a 2nd chance, we should at least consider the request and all factors around it – if he is rehabilitated, if he is …., if he …, etc etc.

  36. Yes yes yes to all. We must remember forgiveness is also on the table.

    Indeed being raped hurts because you don’t become the same…. I too was raped by a family member. Being breaks something irrecoverable in one. It took me +10years to start my healing process. Still today the memory of it is a lifetime scar.

    I remember how much it hurt to even accept that I had been raped… How hard it was to accept… How hard it was to carry on with life… I cry everytime I think of it.

    I took me long to TAKE CHARGE of my life again. I decided that I wasn’t going to let that person take my life from me. That is how I survived.

    Forgiveness is still something hard for me. I don’t interact with this family member. Many in the family believed I would never trust again. Of course even up to today I don’t know what it is to fully trust someone.

    The reason I write this is this: rape victims out there it is a tough road I know…and truly only God can carry you through it. But take charge again… Move on with your life just like we do after death.

    To the rapist: honestly I do not wish him death, but I think he owes his life to his victim/s. Only through giving himself to the cause can he too find it to move on, and heal his victim/s and many others who have been violated by his fellow rapists.

  37. I wasn’t going to comment but the anger and hatred in this page has compelled me to. @ Lekgarebe Le Lebotse La Mopedi: You don’t like Bhejane so much that you refuse to understand his posts. He never said Frans was right, he says he must apologise and apologising does not guarantee forgiveness. Let’s tolerate each other please! @Bhejane if my sister or i was raped and Frans just stood there, I would want an apology first so I know he is remorseful because I believe if he dies before saying anything to me about his evil deed, I would explode from anger. That’s what I’d expect from Frans.

    With that said, after his apology, I would kill him and his gang very slowly. Torture them so bad that they wish I’d kill them already. e.g. Kidnap one, buy a grinder and chop off one limb at a day without sedatives or anything. I want them to feel their bones being cut and experience the pain.

  38. I wasn’t going to comment but the anger and hatred in this page has compelled me to. @ Lekgarebe Le Lebotse La Mopedi: You don’t like Bhejane so much that you refuse to understand his posts. He never said Frans was right, he says he must apologise and apologising does not guarantee forgiveness. Let’s tolerate each other please!

    @Bhejane if my sister or i was raped and Frans just stood there, I would want an apology first so I know he is remorseful because I believe if he dies before saying anything to me about his evil deed, I would explode from anger. That’s what I’d expect from Frans.

    With that said, after his apology, I would kill him and his gang very slowly. Torture them so bad that they wish I’d kill them already. e.g. Kidnap one, buy a grinder and chop off one limb at a day without sedatives or anything. I want them to feel their bones being cut and experience the pain.

  39. I wasn’t going to comment but the anger and hatred in this page has compelled me to. @ Lekgarebe Le Lebotse La Mopedi: You don’t like Bhejane so much that you refuse to understand his posts. He never said Frans was right, he says he must apologise and apologising does not guarantee forgiveness. Let’s tolerate each other please!

    @Bhejane if my sister or i was raped and Frans just stood there, I would want an apology first so I know he is remorseful because I believe if he dies before saying anything to me about his evil deed, I would explode from anger. That’s what I’d expect from Frans.

    With that said, after his apology, I would kill him and his gang very slowly. Torture them so bad that they wish I’d kill them already. e.g. Kidnap one, buy a grinder and chop off one limb at a day without sedatives or anything. I want them to feel their bones being cut and experience the pain. or electrocute them.

  40. Dankie mikeesto…I guess ths letter was supposed 2 be a comment on frans letter tht day,,,,but guys ths gives a hint on When to forgive n not forgive.

  41. I am a rape victim my self, I was constantly raped by of 2 of my uncles. We all lived with my granny, when she was not around as she wud go to Durban from time to time, they wud rape me. They were never punished for it as I never told anyone until I was in varsity. I was very young at the time and really did not understand what was going on, i grew up feeling like I was a dirty child. I was in the rural arrears I did not even know they could go to jail for doing what they did to me.

    I was filled with anger when I was angry at my mom for working in Durban and never noticing what was happening to me, I was also angry at my grandmother for visiting Durban and leaving me with those man, and really not noticing and protecting me.

    My sister who was older than me later committed suicide and what we went through as kids might also have been a factor.

    When I started writing this comment I wanted to say lets forgive, forget, and let God take control. The truth is we never forget.. we just pretend we are ok, while we are hurting. I have never seen my uncles in years. As I am writing this Im filled with tears, I wish they could pay for what they did…

    Now family I have a question, Is there a legal way to make someone get punished for their sins for something that happened 20 years ago or shud one just take the law in their own hands?

    As for Frans I’m sorry to say this but the damage you people cause in our lives is unimaginable, so may you live with your guilt like we live with the scars everyday. There is nothing you can do to undo what you did. Live with the consequences of your actions, live with the judgement you get from people, you deserve it.

  42. Marubini you are a bitch ass nigger dude voetsek and go die in hell for what it matters, no one is perfect in life and don’t tell me you never made mistakes in life, no one is perfect atlist Frans as bad as he was he did pay for his sins thou he ddnt die or they ddnt cut his balls at prison bt for a man he is he did see his mistakes, yes he n his frnds raperd a girl and h was young too ever considers hw that guy felt after doing that. dude the guy who raped ur sister should rot in hell like you cause to me u all the same, he did went to party while ur sisters life is destroyed so what frans ddnt do that instead his leavn with guild for the rest of her life, who told ur sister to leav school she should kill herself too caus it shows that her life is messarable, not that I condone what frans did but for niggers like you to act like the are hollier than thou it makes me sick. ppl like you should b kicked out of the society caus you think you cn take law in to ur hands nx u make me sick to me u,frans and the guy who raped your sister r the same nx! Who are you to judge fuck you go study law n get justice for ppl like that guy who raped ur sister n stop saying shit like you doing sumthng bwt it, atlist frans is doing sumthng, he got arrested, got raped n lived his life in jail for what he did n not that guy who raped ur sister NX! VOETSEK WHO GAVE YOU A RIGHT TO JUDGE MRENA U ARE NOT GOD FUCK OFF

  43. and Frans ddnt rape the girl he was checking the coast so have a heart for a brother wen he need help he didn’t ask for ur 4giivness

  44. Eish yah neh! Its hard out there. Men should see how much pain they cause with rape. It hurts to see so many tears, anger nd hate. It hurts nje.

  45. @nats911 m a women and no I am not a rapist…. bible said ka matsatsi a bofelo shit gona happen devil is gona take over the world so is up to u weda u let evil to control u or let God control ur life and all u guys do is criticize damn the guy got raped too n he knows how is like n dnt tell me all of u people r saint n u never done anithng wrong in ur life u never ask 4givness for anithng or a second chance, u thnk if frans dies his gona go to hell, hell no the guy I bliev prayed and asked for 4givness n God did 4giv him we go all around judging him and gettn angry for what excactly? for sum1 who needs to turn his life around fuck u guys r haters shame n that person keeps on beatn ppl caus they raped his gona go to jail n get rapped n his sister is gona get nuts n kill herself caus she will blame herself for his brother’s misfortune so is how this life should be like, livn like we animals, wer is the love when you need it, wer is support so you say u never bcome teenagers n do shit, u never have naughty frnds n do shit j to please em, u think when ppl who do things bcaus of peerpressure goes to bed happy. hell no they dnt they thnk of this things over n over again… people hear me out if we beat 1anada only bcaus 1 person did sumthng n ddnt get justice what will this world be like for ower children… I had a cousin I liked him so much n he grew up a good kid, then on his teenage times his father died n his mother got to work two jobs just to make sure her children’s life seem normal bt that was too much for ma causing so he lived his life cutting ppls grass after school j to help around the house so that his mother doesn’t have to work abnormal hours, 1day he was cutting a grass at some rich guy’s house n cars was cumin in n out of that hiuse he got a massive house few cars n he got everything that every boy child dreams off so he realized that this guy is a criminal, his selling drugs, his robbing banks n doing all those nasty thngs that hurt people to get rich, so he envied this man he wanted to b like him, that 1day he asked to work for him. his ticket to join were two things. 1st that guy told him he must sleep with him 1st that will make things easier for him to do missions so he got rapped by this rich guy well I cnt say rape caus he agreed that’s was a way to get in, the 2nd mission was to go out there wait for a women in the wee of the night he should make sure he kills and rape her that will show that he is strong enough to join his crew so bcaus he needed money to help her mother he agreed then 1night wen he was waiting for his victim to appear, he saw a women cumin in the dark he didn’t see who is that all that was in his head was to joing that guy n be rich like him he ran fast and stab the women countless times until she was motionless take the women’s dress to cover her face then raped her that night he didn’t sleep at home he came to me instead n started to tell me what he did ad for what. he said he dnt wana live animo caus he cant live with this person he turned to be the next morning he went home on her way home he passed the crime sin where he raped n killed a women only to find out he killd his own mother… . few days latter we discovered his body on a river.. he killed himself. all m tryn to say is not all this ppl who rapes, killes n do bad things do them for fun, others a forst by circumstances to do em, frans was being a kid doing silly thngs because of frind n if that time frnas was not with em or myb if they wer not his frnds he wuldnt b in this mess in a 1st place he ddnt plan to help his frnds rape a girl n everything happens for a reason WE DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO JUDGE ONLY GOD HAS!!!

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