So much was going through my mind but there was no way I was going to be extorted by a deads woman’s parents. Hell no! I had better things to worry about like my soon to be ex wife! People often say that loving someone is a strength, it’s like seeing the face of God but that is so not true because often it’s a weakness. How often do you get told after breaking up with someone that you are better off without that person and note, from the very same people that told you that. That’s the bullshit reality of life. Yes we need companionship and someone to love and be with it but at times being alone is better. That’s the fear is it not? The fear of being alone coupled with that of finding someone new to replace her. I think that’s the difference between us men and women. Women don’t know when to let go but men with our selfishness we pack up and leave. I had played a part in this which I must acknowledge but this woman deserved nothing from me after I was done with her. Why was I still playing nice though? I could not bring myself to deal with her without emotion.
I took the day off and no one really questioned it because of the pending funeral. I wanted to relax and breathe. Khanyi called about two hours after she left and said she had to run to Jhb last minute as one of their planned concerts was falling apart. She will be back tomorrow. She called me when she landed as well with her hotel phone because her meeting was going to be a late one. I did not want to stay in the house all day so I decided to go through my phone and see whom I could have dinner with. It was not easy. When you are married you have few friends that are genuinely yours and not shared by you and your wife. I found someone.
Yolanda and I found ourselves having a late lunch at the V&AWaterfront. With Khanyi gone at least I could breathe a little and go out. She was the only one I knew who was not attached to my wife nor my friends. She was not entirely sure though that this was a good idea but she came nonetheless.
“I was surprised when you called me because you did not seem too happy with me yesterday when I took down the facts of your case!”
She said as soon as she was seated. She was right I was unhappy with her but that was not the end of the world.
“O come on really? That’s not even an issue!”
I said deflecting.
“I hope you won’t be like other men that find a new girlfriend when they go through a divorce!”
She said calmly. What was she talking about now?
“Why do you say that?”
Was she trying to warn me not to hit on her which I was not to be honest.
“No I am just saying that it’s pretty disgusting that on the one hand you have a woman crying at home fighting to get you back and on the other you are busy selling a new girl dreams. Finish what you started before you pursue a new thing. It’s only fair for all involved!”
You see the problem with divorce that is worth highlighting is that it can take ages. That’s just the reality of the legal system and also the fact that with Asthandile for example who was dragging this process it could be forever. Her advice therefore though not without foundation at time would be self punishment. My wife is the one who had led us to this and for a long time to come I will be punished by society for this. If you tell a woman when you meet her for the first time that you are going through a divorce she will probably walk away because no one in their right minds wants someone with that much baggage. If you lie about it or don’t mention it, when it eventually comes up it becomes that you lied to her and the foundation of your relationship is based on a lie. That’s probably worse than the first one but either way you lose.
“I am not pursuing someone at the moment. I am just tired. I want to be happy and to laugh again. You know, to be human! The last few months have been all about anger and revenge and I cannot do that anymore. I need peace in my life!”
I told her. She smiled and said that I was a wiser man than I looked and we both laughed. She put me at ease. I had no reason why to pretend with her. I missed that in a person.
“Is there something that’s going on between Khanyi and you?”
She asked me.
“Of course not. She is a friend and at times I am not even sure about that friendship. She is temperamental so I tend to keep my distance!”
I said confidently. That was not a lie though.
“I am glad to hear that because I would not want to get on her bad side. I won’t even tell my sister we went out otherwise it could be drama!”
I could see what she was doing. She was asking me not to tell Khanyi we went out. She was not exactly being subtle. I had a good time and just before we left I got a message on my phone.
“I know you said I am cheap but I did not leave the house for you to take Yolanda out! Come on Mxolisi! You are going through a divorce and already you are out! She is too young for you! Stay away from her!”
My first instinct was to look behind me. How the hell did she know I was here? I had not told anyone and I am certain Yolanda had not either! I kept a straight face as I walked her to her car. We were not parked to far apart so after she left I was in mine in a minute or two. My phone was connected to the car phone so when it rang I answered through the car as I was driving now. It was a private number.
“Mxolisi how could you?”
It was Asthandile! What did she want?
“I can’t believe you would go stay with Asthandile at a time like this? Are you fucking her too like you did Lindiwe? Are you? She is my friend Mxolisi how can you be so cruel?”
She asked me. Honestly though, I really did not care! I told her that I did not have to answer to her anymore and hung up. It was a 20 minute drive to her place. When I got there I was whistling because I had had such a good day. No time for negative people in my life. I walked out the car with a bounce in my step. As soon as I walked in the house, out of nowhere stepped out a crying Asthandile with a baseball bat!
“Say what you said on the phone again!”
Before I could even answer she swung the bat so hard…
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Good day Mike
I must say I love your books, all of them.
I am a young women who s born again Christian, I am independed. Now, last year in October I met a guy, very handsome. I must admit that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him, we started off very well talking at least 3hours a day- as we are in a long distance relationship. But throughout the weeks I have fallen out of love with him. I think he’s not what m looking for, like we not cut from the same cloth. I thought I could handle the fact that he’s not born again but I think I need a man who has authority and he doesn’t have. Another thing is that he lacks ambition, he seems content with his job and he earns way less than I do. Which horrifies me because that makes him to be insecure. I don’t want disrespect him yet mina I don’t think we on the same level/ (guys don’t get me wrong, m not in a relationship for money but I believe that a man of the house is the provider. And it’s one thing if he was pushing himself to achieve more or just dream of it ke). Am I a horrible person for that, could I be losing my husband whom God has sent for me?
Thank you all as you respond to advice