Of all the people in the world whom I did not want to hear this, my mother had to be it. Firstly I had disappointed her in getting pregnant without a husband but I do feel it was unfair. A single mom should know of the likelihood that her child too could be a single mother. They do such good jobs raising us but have unrealistic expectations where they failed. Yes her excuse would be that she did not want us to make the same mistakes she did but the reality is these men are dogs and almost always they leave you to fend for yourself. That is the reality! It’s not something however you can tell a black mother in an argument that you failed just like her. That would be tantamount to suicide which is why I would never dare bring it up even though I was thinking it. No one is immune, old or young a man can betray you.
She looked at me as I hung up the phone and already I was crying. Was she going too hit me? I don’t know why that thought came to mind but hit me for what? Oh yes, because I hadd lied to her and my sister when they came. I had obviously embarrassed her in front of my uncles whom were sitting there expecting lobola. I am sure when they hear what had happened they would be saying like mother like daughter. She sat down and casually said,
“Would you like to tell me what happened?”
She said sitting down on the dressing table stool. I was at a loss for words. It was not easy opening up to someone who you knew deep down was saying I told you so. She might have been my mother but talking to her was not easy and growing up had been just like that. My mother was more of a reserved person and because as a nurse she had seen so much at work she did not have much empathy anymore. Maybe it’s the job I don’t know but growing up our mom was both a mother and father of which she played the father role more.
I opened my mouth to speak and at first my words got stuck in my mouth. I wanted these tears to end, this pain, I wanted Mudenda to come back and say this was all one big joke.
‘He left me mom. We were fine one moment and the next he was gone. We dated for three years and just like that he did not even look back! I thought we have everything covered. He comes from a good family, with money and now has a good job to match. He said he would marry me but that didn’t happen! Getting pregnant was a mistake but aborting was not an option. That was what he told me when he said we were in this together!”
I told her. I had considered abortion that’s true. He had sat me down and told me that abortion should only be for those with no prospects nor a choice. He had told me that we had a choice and that choice was to keep our baby alive because he would be working soon and I will also be graduating.
“Firstly, you can fall in love with someone rich just as easily as you can fall in love with someone born poor.”
She had heard me wrong. I think she thought I had fallen for him because he has money which is far from it.
“No mom I did not mean it…”
She cut me off!
“Listen my child, you will not be the first woman to be betrayed by a man nor will you be the last. That is the reality which as a parent we all try to make you aware of. Most of you don’t listen. You think when you grow breasts you are women and can understand a man. We have all been there and we know what it is out there. I am sorry it happened to you my child I really am. If you have a daughter please please make sure you tell her this, you will fall in love so many times before you find the right love so don’t think every man you think you love can give you a baby!”
She stood up to leave but already I was in tears. I had failed myself. I was meant more to be so much than just being a mother yet he I was. I was far from ready.
Tidimalo was at my do. He was now becoming too much of a constant. My mother knew him vaguely from my past and she let him in.
“What are you doing here?”
I asked him angrily. With all that was going on this was not what I wanted nor needed. My mother must really think the worst of me.
“Relax Faith, I came to see how you are holding up.”
“After the way we parted that day I was always going to come!”
This guy was just an idiot!
“Who told you I was home in any case?”
I asked him.
“Your sister of course!”
He said casually. My mother entered the room and they started talking like old friends. It was so weird seeing my mother trying to be nice to him. He held his own, cracking jokes and the works. He stayed for about two hours in which time he helped my mother fix the iron, a broken latch as well as fix two leaking taps. When he left my mother came to me and said,
“You left this guy,”
Pointing outside in the direction he had driven,
Pointing at my stomach! She laughed and shook her head.
Disclaimer: PLEASE NOTE AS OF WEDNESDAY THIS STORY WILL JUMP THREE MONTHS INTO THE FUTURE AS OUR STORY IS ABOUT A BABYMAMA. UP TILL NOW SHE WAS GIVING YOU A BACK GROUND OF HOW THEY DATED AND HOW THEY THEN BROKE UP. THANK YOU
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
Hi Mike hope this finds you well…I’m a lady in my early thirties. Now here is my problem, I was dating a guy for over a year and then things didn’t work out. We broke up and I was pregnant but didn’t know I was, then I hooked up with a guy friend we did the dance.4months later I found out in expecting and I’m thinking its the friend that impregnated me. Now as my kid grows older he looks so much like my ex, truth be told he is his kid. I need to tell my folks that I made a mistake and dont know how. My ex acknowledges that the kid is his,and he’s just waiting for me to break the news to my parents.I’d appreciate the advice on how to break the news at home.