Rumblings – Chapter Twenty Three

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

I know they tell you that giving birth is the most painful thing ever and most men would probably die if they went through it, they lied! They tell you how when you are going through it you curse, scream, squeeze his hand until you almost break it but then again that does not quite cover it. It feels very much like an understatement because the pain they describe to you is nothing compared to what I went through. Every woman you know who has given birth out there deserves a round of applause because to squeeze his big head out of that tiny hole is a miracle on its own. I had a fourteen hour labour of which at some point the nurses took a break. The cramps were so painful but I did not shit myself like I hear most women do. I did what every mother before me has done and got the job done. Men will never understand why women love their kids so much but if you go through labour you will know without a doubt why that child is worth protecting. At the moment you have your first baby you tell yourself that you will never ever in your life go through this again as this will be the pain talking. It’s horrendous and messy. After all the cursing screaming and shouting my baby came out, healthy and beautiful. I had a boy. A little baby boy.

I had not seen Mudenda in three months. He had not called nor come to see me at my flat. Every now and again I would bump into some of our mutual friends by Pick n Pay in Hatfield. It was so awkward usually because my big belly would make them embarrassed as though they were the ones who got me pregnant. Some would change their direction thinking I had not seen them but most would talk to me. They all made sure they did not speak about Mudenda. Aurelia came to visit every week and even when she went on her many trips I was the first call she made to SA. She was living a life I could never dream of because for one I was not born as beautiful as her hence rich men never looked at me that way and secondly she already came from a decent income family so her future was set even if she fucked up. Here is the irony of my life, I loved Aurelia, she had truly been there for me so I could call her my closest friend where Zama was still my best friend. We had fought screamed and fought some more but she came to see me every two days. Even when she was writing exams she would come see if I was ok and if I needed something. She worked so hard to making it up to me for what she had done. I had not fully forgiven her and at times I wished she would just go away and leave me alone but not Zama. There were times when my legs were swollen and I could not go to the shops, Zama would do it. She would even go take notes for me on campus. I know people believe that if you get pregnant you must drop out of school. I did not do that. My education more than ever was important. Other students would stare at me but I was not perturbed. I was doing well meaning if I passed my exams I was definitely graduating. I had also learned something about Zama and Aurelia that I don’t think I had noticed before. Zama slept with guys because she thought it was fun, many guys wanted to date her but she used them as toys and they all pined after her. Aurelia was a bit more secretive about whom these guys were so they all had code names. She however maintained that sex for the fun of it was really a waste of time and resources. There had to be a reason why you were doing and financial was just as good a reason as any. Myself on the other hand believed that sex was for those in love and surprise surprise, I was the one with a baby and no one to love me.

After I gave birth I had to study. I was writing my final exams exactly three weeks from when he was born. I did not have a C section but I was still quite sore hence I had a lot of medication. Unfortunately at times it made me sleep meaning I could not take it if I wanted to study as well take care of the baby plus study. It was simply the most painful part of this whole ordeal. He had colic right from the word go meaning this baby could cry. I know people club into the wee hours of the morning but nothing beats a crying baby. It exhausts you to the point of wanting to pull out your teeth and this everyday. I didn’t mind though, I loved my baby with everything that I had.

My exams went ok I guess but I was quite exhausted. One paper in particular got me extremely worried. I could not afford to say to myself,

“Oh well at least I tried!”

Because in my case I had to scrap it out, pass, and get a job. That’s how much under pressure I was. Single mom vibes I guess but this was the hardest thing imaginable. Most people rested after giving birth but I did not. Another scary part is that I had to leave my baby with my mother and sister. My mother had to work meaning Judith was the one that had to take care of her when she was not there. It was so scary for me because my sister being who she was just made it a nightmare. I had no choice. I had asked my mother to get me someone to help me and her response was,

“Why? You sister is here and besides this could be what I need to make her grow up!”

I had protested saying that she waas irresponsible and my mother looked me straight in the eye and snapped,

“I am not the one who taught you not to be able to shut your legs!”

That shut me up completely. I never asked for such again. It was after my second last exam that I got the call. I was walking to my flat because I was writing in two days and my mother had said she did not have money for me to come home.

“Is my baby alive?”

The number was familiar. It was Mudenda. For the first time in months but the first thought that went to my mind was,

“What had Judith done?”

*****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Hi. Please hide my id.
Dear readers, my letter is quite long so I humbly ask that you bare with me.
Bra Mike, thank you for keeping the nation reading.
I am a 23 year old lady. I have a problem with relationships or they have a problem with me, not quite sure.
I was in a committed relationship for about 2 and a half years with a 23 year old guy. I loved the guy with all of my heart and I was very devoted to our relationship. Not once did I cheat during the course of the relationship.
We had a good relationship, we did everything together, shared the same dreams, we were best friends and some people actually thought we were siblings because we were so close.
Sad to say our relationship ended because he wanted to experience life and seek greener pastures you know. It’s not even like we had fights leading to the break up. He told me straight up that he didn’t want to be with me anymore and that he would like to explore other options.
I was so broken because I was ready to settle down with this guy. I tried to fight for our relationship but his mind was made up. He soon moved on and I decided to work on myself and learn to be happy alone.
Almost a year later, I finally decided I was ready to start dating again. I met a 26 year old guy and I entirely forgot about the past and gave him a chance. Now my problem is that he drinks a lot, even on weekdays and is out every weekend. That means I never see him during the weekends because he’s always out drinking with his friends.
I constantly have to beg him to spend time with me. I’m a student and he’s unemployed and I sometimes give him money and take him out but when he has money you’d think he’d do something for me but no, he spends it on booze with his friends.
I talked to him about this depressing behaviour of his and well, he was just not getting it. I decided I was sick of him and that I’d quietly leave. So I stopped talking to him and was just cold towards him.
I’ve recently started getting cozy with a 32 year old I met late last year. It was fun and games until a few nights ago his girlfriend almost walked in on us and mind you, I had no idea about this girlfriend and I did ask him about having a girlfriend and he answered in the negative.
I get approached by a lot of guys and some wanting to be with me but now I think I just attract the wrong type of guys and no one who wants to get serious.
Is there something wrong with me or do I just need to learn to be patient and the right guy will find me? I know I’m still young but I really don’t like going from one guy to the next, it’s just not who I am.
Scared of lonely

30 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter Twenty Three

  1. @Scared your heart is still going to be broken and you might break some hearts yourself until you find the one. There’s no formula to finding the one, you might have to go through lots of frogs to find your prince. Don’t beat yourself up for failing relationships, concentrate on loving yourself more…

  2. Thanks bra Mike
    Girl you are still young I don’t think relationships are a priority to you firstly be patient and focus on your studies you will meet your perfect man. Learn to love yourself more and enjoying your own company because now you seem desperate

  3. Thanks Mike.
    A to Q: it’s called a circle of life, you love, loose some, hook up with the wrong ones and so forth until you find your perfect match. Others are lucky and this cycle is not repeated, others are more lucky that this cycle is repeated over and over again. Just don’t loose your morals or settle for less and ALWAYS BE SAFE, and no babies please!

  4. A2Q: lonely u need to start focusing on urself love urself b single b happy on your own hle theres more to life dan to b someones galfriend

  5. I love the fast forward, now things will rumble up :). Thanks Mikeesto, we are greatful.

    Scared of lonely, I agree with Samke on this one, you sound really desperate girl. From a 23+3+6.. What’s next,44? You need to chill and focus on your books yho, get yourself a mini toy and explore. You do not need a silly man to define you, and it certainly does not mean one is lonely when single.

    You need to stop trying so much, you went from a regter, to a second to booze and a makhwapheni for a man that is supposed to be acting his age(32) but isn’t. That’s a whole lot of ish to deal with plus juggling books and all. I say chill ma, get you a hobby and channel your energies into making a success out of yourself… Your Jackzorro will come your way one day, if he doesn’t, aint nothing wrong with woman to woman hey :), #JustSaying


  6. Sounds like my story, however I’m still with my baby daddy and my mum did hire a nanny. However I would not advice anyone to fall pregnant in school. It’s not easy,and when baby arrives it doesn’t get easier. But I thank God because I did so well in school last year. Thanks Mike

  7. Its just sad how in a snapish misunderstading one can become a of the horrible titles a woman can ever hold.Mudenda is what we call a BAN=Bitch-Ass-Nigga,such a coward,this is what happens in real life hey,black men ba itemile shame its so sickening sometimes.

    Q&A giiiiiirrrrl you are still young,i know you are probably thinking almost all ur friends are in serious relationships and about to settle down,be patient and love yourself enough to never eva settle for BS.chill,have fun with friends,go out and live ya life to the fullest,live that single life boo and enjoy..the right brother will come trust me!

  8. thanks mike for another great read…

    hii Brother.. Yazii you where once asked to post your pic.. Namanje.. I been patiently waiting…

    Will we get the picture or must we silently give up…?

    #waiting for your reply…

  9. Thanx Mike for the awesome read as always. I just hope Faith won’t be studip to go back to that coward bcoz he’ll just end up hurting her all over again.

    Q&A: my dear pls focus on ur education & having responsible fun you still young. I graduated when I was 23yrs,met my husband later that year after being single for 2 yrs focusing on my studies,got married to him after 2yrs. Yes I’m happily married now but I missed out on having fun wt my friends,traveling…& just enjoying my youth. So I’m not saying u should follow me or ur life will turn out de same way but my dear,focus on urself,love ‘U’ & understand ‘U’ b4 u expect some guy to do that for u! PS! U might also be attracting de wrong guys bcoz u come across as desperate & these guys take advantage of u my dear.

    Jackzorro u truly sound like a responsible guy,I’m also curious about u but I also enjoy reading your comments & advise to the Q&A letters

  10. Yoooooh Faith wa batho, this Mudenda guy treats you like 2nd had goods. Tell him oa hae ngoana is at a club popping Moet! He must leave you alone, s8lly excuse of a man. Ke sure mmae o na sa mmatle, eaba moleko eo ho thoeng ke ntatae o mo reka ka chelete. Sis man

  11. Tjo jackzorro U R so on point, its great to know there are black brothers like U out there who R “sound minded” U rock big time

  12. Shame poor Faith. Girl jus graduate,get a job,hire a nanny and start doing you! Your a woman now and let what Mudenda did to you jus be another life lesson!
    Good luck

  13. Dear scared and lonely no there’s nothing wrong with you. My advise is take your time before you can commit to a guy. Start by just going out , have fun and get to know each first. You are still young and the right will come. The 32 year old guy you dated maybe if you took your time getting to know him his cracks would have showed that I mean you have seen signs he’s a liar etc. All the best dear.

  14. Nice read Mike. I like this girl flr putting education 1st despite her situation.
    AnQ I get where you coming from, but in my opinio you’ll never be happy and content. You shuld be out there enjoying your early life, for goodness sake you are just 23. Go out have fun, be with tour friends and not seek a mr right, do what you love the most and eventually mr right will find you.
    PS: life’s not all at seriousness and not everyone ur age wants to settle down. So look at yourself and live YOUR LIFE.

  15. 23 with a 32 year old eh, kids these days are just in a hurry, rushing where? Guess we will never know.

    Mudenda should go hug an electrical transformer sies, 3 months later he asks if his child is alive mxm.

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