Rumblings – Chapter Eighteen

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

I did not want to think about my sister and I even had it in mind not to go. Aurelia had overheard the conversation I think because she asked if my sister would be fine. I told her I really did not care so lets change the subject. I told Aurelia that what she had heard was far from the truth. She said she believed me but with girls you can never be too certain. She told me about her latest trip and mentioned something about dating some ANC politician. They date anyone those comrade but I did not say that. It was not something to proud off though because they have a reputation these people. She said if I was not pregnant she would take me out to party just to get my mind off things but it would be awkward walking into a club with this belly. She said some guy who wanted her was going to pick her up and take her to Jhb so I must pack and leave with her so that I could take a taxi home when I was in Jhb as opposed of trying to manoeuvre myself through Pretoria to Jhb. Good idea.

A break up does not mean the same to a man and a woman. When a man breaks up with you, they tend to start sleeping around to get rid of your memory I guess I don’t know. So many girls who have taken a break from their relationship, even if it was their suggestion to take a break, will tell you that during that time their partner slept with someone else. Men! Obviously to them it’s not cheating since they say you were apart. If Mudenda and I were to have a break then I am certain he would sleep around which I think would hurt me even more! Would I take him back? Hell yes, I love my man. A break up to a girl takes a flippen long time to sink in and an even longer time to get over. We love with our hearts mind and soul and men don’t get that. We break easily because we love so much and we love so much because you make us love you. I was hurting. I cried all the way home when I was in the taxi. Now I had to go deal with my sister! I had to put my problems aside to once again cater to hers. Some lady in the taxi told me that crying in public only made things worse as the way people look at you when you do just makes you break down even more. The taxi driver didn’t even make me pay imagine. He said he could not find it in himself to make a pregnant crying girl pay. Yes my pregnancy showed. I was ready to become a mother.

My sister, see now the story is about her, was just a drama queen of note. I think because I had gotten pregnant and was arranging damages, this is why she had done this. Ever since we were young the moment I started to shine she would do something spectacular. My mother like all parents always said she was smart but because she was naughty she never realized her full potential. All parents say that though don’t they forgetting that dumb is dumb. My sister was not book smart nor to be fair she was not that much streetwise. Do you know how it feels to grow up hearing that your sister ke mogwanti? Mogwanti is means bitch or whore and is especially used in high school for the village bicycle. My sister was that bicycle. People would never fully tell me all they knew but I once heard that when she was in grade ten three different guys had shagged her at the same time. Every grade in my high school had that girl but my sister was legend. I think it was because of her that I became reserved and underground all through high school because I once got into an argument with this guy at school and he shouted in front of everyone that my sister had slept with so many men I probably caught AIDS from them. I was embarrassed of her and never wanted to be seen with her. That’s why I was not feeling that much sympathy for her. We had lived through a lot because of her!

When I got home, the key was under the flower pot of the side of the house. I knew this as this was always our thing. My mother was still at the hospital with my sister. I was not keen either on going to hospital because when you are on suicide watch even the nurses frown down on you. What an idiot! The house had changed since I was last here. Ok fine, I am using the word changed liberally here, my mother had rearranged the furniture probably for the first time in 5years. More importantly though, she had changed our TV. We used to have that TV with the big ass and now in its place was a plasma. Wow. When did this happen? I could not help but ask myself that with the old TV whenever anything when wrong you would smack it nyana and it would turn on but with this flat screen nonsense where wouldd u even touch! I was tired. I decided now was the time to take a nap before she came back. The thing with being home is that you are so comfortable. I fell asleep as soon as I lay on my bed.

It was about three hours later that my mother returned. She had her own keys so she woke me up when she walked into my room. I sat up and greeted her. She looked at me for a bit before she said anything then she came and hugged me. That was very unlike my mother. I cannot remember the last time she hugged me. Even when my matric results came back, it was as though it was expected and she had worked the night shift that day meaning she was quite cranky. This was awkward to say the least.

It was then she spoke to me.

“I am so tired Faith. Why do I have to be the mother that goes through this?”

She said in resignation. I did not want to say anything because I did not want to offend her because I felt ‘this’ also included me.

“I have invited someone to come pray for us this weekend.”

That didn’t sound too bad I guess until she said,

“I have already bought the snuff and things they will need for the ceremony. This house needs to be cleansed!”

I don’t know how the words came out but before I could stop myself I just blurted out,


What had gotten into her? This was Fourways not some village in Mtubatuba!

*****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

I wish I could shake your hand! Your writing skills are amazing. Thank you.

I was introduced to my boyfriend by my younger sister. They met at her church and she insisted that this guy was the one for me. She was right. We got along so well and have been together ever since. They are not very close but two weeks ago I overhead my sister telling my mother that my boyfriend had taken her and his siter to help him pick a ring for me. I panicked. I don’t want to get married, not now anyway. I feel like it will hold me down and am not even that woman who is dying to have kids. One day yes but not now. He wants kids! He even sends me pics of kids that he thinks are cute. I love him a lot yes but I am not ready for this. I feel if I reject him I will lose him but if I accept his proposal I would have betrayed myself and what I want to achieve on my own. I am really confused. What do I say when that day comes?

Thank You

Runaway Bride

32 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter Eighteen

  1. Thanks Mike for a nice read.

    Q and A: No need to runaway. why don’t you tell him how you feel and ask that you not rush into marriage? and how do you have a relationship with someone whom you are not on the same page with? If you don’t want to get married then let the brother go instead but if you really do want him and want to marry him someday… be clear about when that someday is. It’s not fair for you to deprive him of what he wants or make him wait too long before you make up your mind.

    Marriage does not have to hold you down, with the right partner you might even have a better life and someone whom you will always share with. it all depends on the relationship you guys have now.

    from your question though I doubt you guys have been clear to each other about your expectations and what you would like to see happen and when. communicate with your man girl.

  2. Its coming soon Ntoza, watch the space 🙂

    The Mtubatuba part killed me LOL!! Thanks Mikeesto

    Runaway to be: How old are you though? And how long are ya’ll seeing each other?

    One of you is giving the other mixed signals. This church dude is moving too fast or you just don’t want to be ‘held down’ too much for such relations. Either way, ya’ll are gonna drive each other nuts if you don’t properly communicate. And quit eavesdropping my gawd.

    My advice: whether its after sex or any comfortable position with you both, lay it all on the table, tell him what your plans and goals are, what the time span prediction is and when you might be ready to settle down. Don’t give the poor man expectations you can’t fulfil tu. Oh and one last thing, you mentioned your lil sister ‘arranged’ this relationship for you…. Don’t be suprised if she snatches your man right under your nose while you busy delaying Kids, chasing Dreams and asking advice on how to reject Rings.


  3. QnA Runaway bride, in all honesty… Hoe old are you? Coz if you in your mid 20s or over…. If a man proposes it doesn’t mean he wants to get married right away, accept the marriage proposal and work your way to achieving whatever dream it is that you have. Then in the mean time the both of you can stary saving and planning for your wedding, it could even take a year or two. Other women have lost great men, especially those who are serious about marriage given that the lady is not ready to commit. No pressure though, but think it through and remember cocommunication is best. Good luck

  4. Thanks Mike, lolllll Mike u killed me ‘ Mtubatuba’. Mike u were in KZN this festive from Pietermaritzburgh all da way to Mtubatuba! Well research! Even on Misteps. I had u were here seeing beautiful ladies of KZN lollll ‘Hides’. Jack Jack Jack lolllll uskhokho wena (wish cld get myself sum Jck)

  5. Dankie Jackzorro everytime after QnA I look for your comment bcz I know your always on point and believe me you also help me too.

  6. Q n A-What do some Women Want?a lot of women out there are looking for exactly what u have n u r busy not wanting it n those that want it don’t get it n get Bastards,being married doesn’t mean the end if your dreams n goals sisi.

  7. Lool owuuuu nkosi sake savelelwa e Kzn,nakwi generations makukhona uhlanya vede kthiwe olwakaZulu nje(Zodwa),kant ko Vhenda awekhon ama farm jesova?awu awu awu

  8. Q&A Maybe it’s not an engagement ring, why do women think marriage at the mention of a ring. Maybe it’s just a promise ring, why don’t you just wait and see what this is about.

  9. QnA : Marriage has never held anyone down ,some married people simply hold themselves down. There’s a lot of succesful couples out there . Others can even testify they’re made it because of their partners.
    Sit your boyfriend down and communicate properly your life plans and expectations in your relationship.

    Sweety if you want to do your own thing leave him. It will never help to tag him along if you’re on the same page.

  10. Thanks bra Mike.
    You know many women out there are complaining about guys who don’t wana step up and get married. Here you have been blessed and you say you not ready! You better wake up ke sisi otherwise this could be you first and last proposal you will ever get! From my experience marriage cannot hold you down. Given that your bf whom you love supports you and your career. Getting married isn’t a problem really. You can tell him about you not wanting to have kids. But don’t waste time. Some girls you snatch such an opportunity without any second thoughts. And honestly if you decline him it might be the end of your relationship. Of which you will regret. Nevertheless be open with him£ am sure he wouldn’t wana propose if he thought you are not ready. All the best!

  11. Mtubatuba ne Mike….ai wa mpolaya yoh!

    Jackzorro my Brother…..I think you should have your own advice blog named….ASK I know I will have fun reading ur advices…….

    Think about it.

  12. Lol.. This run away bride has never went thru a break up.. #mo turne down fela otla bona mas«pa otlo go hlala wa jola le monna wa bhari wa 40yrs wa go dula le mamage.

  13. death by stella’s comment kwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaks .

    Why do people take for granted the things others are praying for? Life is full of surprises and changes. I am not saying this is your last proposal but take the time to think before you become a run away bride. Should you never get another proposal again, will you be able to live with that? Sometimes we turn to reject the one thing that is supposed to elevate us. Just saying

    Thanks Mikey

  14. Runaway Bride, sorry for the late reply but i just had to do this.
    listen girl if you are not ready for marriage you are simply not ready, case closed. Go to your man and tell him the truth and nothing but the truth. Tell him what you overheard and if he is thinking of popping the question then he must just hold his horses because you are simply not ready for marriage, remember honesty is one of the main requirements of any relationship so there is no need to be beating around the bush especially in matters that will determine your future.

    Dont listen to people telling you that marriage will not tie you down because baby girl that is just a lie that only single(unmarried) people believe. Take it from a married person that yes marriage will tie you down because everything will now change, there is no more i or me instead there is we or us. you will need to alter the way you think they way you do things so if you are not ready for that then you are just simply not ready. Trust me you do not want to be in a marriage when you are not ready.
    Rather tell him the truth now instead of when he actually does pop the question. Just explain to him why you feel you are not ready and what your future plans are regarding this.

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