It was not because I was being a snob. I had grown up in a household where my mother laughed at these things. As a nurse, especially when she was at Baragwanath she used to come tell us how black families would bring a sangoma to pray for their sick relative. When they got better they would credit the sangoma and not the doctors and nurses who brought the person back to health. It used annoy her so much but she got over it. That’s how I knew my mother. She hated these things. Now she was saying that she must bring one of these people into our home to throw snuff and African beer into our house. Why? Because my sister snuffed cocaine and it twisted her brain! Did those ancestors she was calling to even know what cocaine was Mxim! I was so annoyed! Be realistic! Your child has a problem! It’s in the head!
My sister and I did not share a father. Please don’t get me wrong I loved her nonetheless. Is it not true that it’s the mother that matters because she will raise you with the express instruction that never call each other “step” or “half” sister. There are no halves in African culture! She is your sister and that’s all we know. The difference came from the fact that her father was actually married to my mother at some point hence why she had her father’s surname. She was Judith Mayepa when I was Faith Magongwa a.k.a sisters. I doubt very much there are still many families that were hundred percent intact in this day and age. Her father was not a doosh either. From what I hear from her relatives, the ones we still in contact with he was quite a stand up guy. He died when she was two so she hardly knew him. My father on the other hand was a rolling stone. He had kids everyone and did not give a fuck about anyone else but himself and his alcohol. Why then I often asked myself was that the guy who was the good guy had died leaving this bastard of a man to father me. I was ashamed of him. To know that you are one kid in an army whom he probably did not even remember by name is quite painful. My mother made it worse by the fact that we never ever spoke about him. I barely knew him meaning I did not know his relatives. This is why for me she had neither an excuse nor a reason why she was so twisted.
My mother said last time she checked this was still her house and I was to do as she said. She told me just because I was pregnant did not mean I could challenge her for I was still just a child myself. That was humbling. She reminded me that I still only had a matric certificate so I should not come into her house and start dictating things. That one hit home. I went back into my shell. This was the Faith she was used too. Quiet, timid, dutiful daughter and eager to please. Story of my life I tell you. It was a sour end to the evening as she went to her room and shut her door and I did the same.
In the morning she said she was not going to work. She asked me how far I was with the damages thing because the uncles were asking as a date had to be set. I desperately wanted to to tell her the truth that we were not together anymore but I could not find the words. I eventually lied and said he was not back yet from overseas where he had gone for work. A slight smile crept on her face. Black parents are always flattered when they hear the word “overseas”. I was putting myself in a bad position though and needed to come up with something.
It was before 9am when a taxi pulled up outside our house. My mother and I both went to the window to check. Out stepped my sister to the shock of our lives. She was supposed to be out today yes but we were supposed to go pick her up. My mother ran up to her though and gave her a big hug which seemed to annoy her very much. Forgotten was the fact that this girl had just tried to kill herself. I stayed inside.
When Judy came through the entrance she came and she hugged me.
“You seem angry at me little sister what’s wrong?”
She asked me.
“Judith how could you do this? How could you try kill yourself? How do you think it feels knowing your only sister and my child’s aunt does not want to live?”
I said to her my tears coming out. I did not like my sister but that does not mean I hated her.
“Leave her alone Faith!”
My mother said a little irritated that I was questioning her favorite daughter!
“No mum I want to know what makes it right for this! Do you know you have pushed mom to now bring sangomas here thinking maybe we have evil spirits in our house! Why Judith why? You have a mother and sister who adore you and a niece on her way who will love you to death?”
I asked her. My mother was red with anger now. Again I had questioned her. Judith looked totally unconcerned by our concern stood up, pulled out a cigarette and responded,
“I did it because I felt like it!”
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Morning brother how are you? Thank you for giving me the platform.
My girlfriend and her friends went on holiday in December and I believe something happened there that involved a man. I do not normally go through her phone but the weekend after she came back she was showing me some picture on her phone when she had to stand up. I ended up scrolling through her pictures and it was not even in a sneaky way. She had several pictures from that holiday were they were with guys (she says those guys they met them there in Moz). In 3 or 4 pictures two of the guys are posing with her touching her ass! I am so angry right now even as I write this. She said it was just a picture and a pose and because she was too drunk to remember she says it’s harmless. How is it harmless to have another man touch you like that and worse a stranger just because you are on holiday? I am a loyal faithful guy I do not cheat. I often give her my phone to keep and go through because I never want her to suspect me of anything then she goes on to do this. Everytime her friends come to visit since then, someone will say “Mozambique” and they all giggle as though they have a secret not to be mentioned. It’s torturing me. We have been dating 4years and in November I bought the ring. I am meant to propose on her birthday which on the 4th of February. Now there is this.
Please advise me on what to do. I asked her once and she said her girls had a pact that “what happened in Moz stayed in Moz!” I was so angry coz I fucken paid for that Moz trip and she tells me that! I dont know what to do.