With a man, you make one small mistake and he will judge you by that for the rest of your life, if you cheat and your man finds out he will never ever look at you the same way again. And we women are expected to forgive when they cheat or get their side chicks pregnant, you must welcome that baby with warm open arms, as if you were there enjoying the benefits of making the baby, and if you don’t accept the child you are judged as the cruel, heartless person, whoever said being a wife was easy doesn’t know what they talking about. You have to get into this family that might not like you and will try to make your life a living hell, if you are lucky your mother in-law might pretend to like you in your face and talk smack about you behind your back but if you are unlucky like me, she won’t even pretend to like you and will talk smack in your face. And you might get those annoying sister in laws who don’t know how to mind their own business and are the biggest gossips in the family and whenever you and your husband fight they are the first ones to call you to find out what the story is not so they can help but so they can spread the bad news with the biggest smiles on their faces to everyone and then their words that will shatter your heart that they will say behind your back but make sure you are close enough to hear it, “I knew she wasn’t the right woman for my brother, he should have rather married his ex, she was wife material.”
Those are just to cons of marriage, one thing I learnt in therapy was in every situation there is pros and cons and you need to list the 2 and if the cons outweigh the pros then you need to re-think the situation you are in. The pros of marriage are you could be married to a wonderful man, who loves and adores you, a man who worships the ground you walk on, a man who will buy you thee most beautiful house and take care of you like a queen, a man who will protect you and always makes sure that you are safe, a man who puts you above everything and everyone else, a man who holds you in his arms when you sleeping and each time he turns tell you that he loves you, a man who makes your heart melts and gives your butterflies in the stomach each time you see him and that is what I had, Mthobisi was all those things and more. My pros beat the cons. Marriage can be what you make it out to be, you can choose to be happy or miserable in it, yes it’s not easy but neither is life and just because it’s not easy it doesn’t mean people will stop getting married, life is not easy but yet we still continue bringing lives on this earth, so just like everything else you work on it and I decided that I was going to save my marriage, I was going to work so hard on it, I was even going to take stripping classes when I got back to Joburg and put up a dancing pole in our bedroom, no more messing around, I was going to focus solely on my man.
I looked at Mthobisi and said “we are on holiday, I’m not going to fight you, this is our time to relax, call me whatever you want to call me all I know is I’m your wife and mother of our child.” I then walked out. He ran after me, and found me on the corridor, he apologised and said “I’m sorry Baby, I’m just going through a lot of pressure I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I promise I will put work away and we will go and have fun, okay.” He looked at me and saw I had tears in my eyes, he wiped them away and said “I didn’t mean to hurt you Honey, I’m so soo very sorry, please don’t cry.” I wasn’t crying for what he said I was crying for my own sins, I had so much shit going on and I just needed to be a loyal and faithful. The girls came out of one of the rooms and saw me crying they asked if I was okay I told them I was fine and they should go by themselves I suddenly didn’t feel like going to the beach and my husband and I needed to catch up, I went to the room got the car keys and told them they could use the car. They left; Mthobisi and I went back inside our room. I asked him how he got to Durban he said he flew down in the morning and when he landed he wanted to call me to pick him up from the airport but wanted to surprise me so he hired a car and drove himself to the hotel and only for him to be surprised. I apologized for not being there when he arrived and he said he understands he knows how much I like taking walks so it’s not something out of the ordinary, thank goodness I had decided to say walk. He suggested we go to the beach and not get cupped up in the hotel room the whole day, I agreed and told him I had walked up a sweat when I took the walk so I needed to shower, I went showered then wore dark pink linen shorts, a bikini and a transparent orange t-shirt and blue slippers, my husband also changed and wore blue Lacoste shorts a maroon Bugatti t-shirt and we put on our shades and hit the beach in his hired Polo Vivo. We got to the beach and went to the water, my husband knows how scared I am of drowning so he would put me on his back and walk in the water deeper and deeper and as soon as he knows that we in deep would tell me “okay Honey, I’m dropping you here, you need to swim back.” I would just laugh and tell him I will call Daily Sun and tell them he tried to feed me to sharks, we were both having such an amazing time just playing around and having fun, after swimming we decided to go to the restaurant I thought the girls would be there but they were not, so we ordered drinks and I called them they said they were in some suburb called Red Hill with the guys we were with the night before, there was some pool party and we should come through, oh hell no, I told them they should have fun my husband and I were still bonding.
They told me I was missing out and for the first time I don’t know in how long I actually didn’t care about missing out, I was happy being with my husband and didn’t care what anyone else was doing at that moment, all that mattered was the man sitting in front of me and going to a pool party would mean sharing him with everyone around because you can’t go to a pool party and just talk to one person the whole time. After a few drinks my husband suggested that we go to Moses Mabhida stadium, when we got there we went on the Sky-Car that takes you up on top of the stadium and you can see half of Durban when you are on top of the stadium, it’s the most beautiful thing ever, I was glad he didn’t suggest bungee jumping because there was no way in hell I was doing that, he has suggested it before and I have told him how much I value life and how I don’t want to insult God by dying while doing that because I would die mid-air no questions asked and that would be sending a message to God that I did not value my life that is literally throwing your life away. From Moses Mabhida we decided to go to the Pavilion for a bit of shopping, we shopped around bought clothes, then went and had dinner and after dinner we were both too tired so we decided to go back to our hotel, by the time we got to the hotel it was around 9, we decided we were not going to tell the girls we were back we would just go to our room and spend some much needed quality time. As we were kissing and about to get down and dirty, my phone rang, I told him to ignore it, we continued kissing and every 5 minutes the phone would ring, Mthobisi told me that the phone was irritating him and I should answer it, I answered “Hello” She Rocks answered “Hey Lee, we just wanted to update you that we still at the party and having lots of fun but most importantly we all still safe.” Couldn’t she have just sent a message to tell me that instead of calling 50 times, I was horny and wanted to get some I couldn’t have been bothered by their whereabouts, it took everything in me not to slam the phone on her ear but I politely said, “I thought you guys were back in your rooms” she laughed and said it was too early for them to leave the party and started telling me about what had happened earlier about some gay guy who had had too much to drink and threw up on some girl in front of
everyone, the girl was so embarrassed and ran to the bathroom but the gay guy acted like nothing happened and continued chatting to his friends after throwing up, she said they had burst out laughing and now the gay guy had threatened to beat them up. The first part of the story had me yawning but them getting beat up by gay guy had me in stitches I was on the floor laughing, I told her “you girls are going to shit bricks, gays will beat you up nice and proper and then say “sorry chomma, ukuthi nawe uyaphapha” and then suggest you be friends” she was laughing soo hard I had to hang up while she was still laughing because once she starts she never stops. By this time my husband had gone to the bathroom he came back and said “shall we continue where we left off and maybe switch off your phone I know your friends will be calling none-stop now that they drunk.” I agreed and switch off my phone and we continued with our love making, it was soo beautiful, pure and holy at some stage I thought I hear Angels sing “Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah.” When you hear Angels sing during love making you have got to know that was the best love making ever. After a couple of rounds we both fell asleep. Something woke me up, it was a vibrating phone, I knew it couldn’t be mine because my phone was off, I woke Mthobisi up and told him his phone was ringing, he didn’t want to wake up and said “they will leave a message” I tried going back to sleep but the phone kept vibrating on the table and was really irritating me, I stood up and went to his side of the bed picked up the phone without even checking who is calling and said “we sleeping” the voice on the other side was She Rocks “Lee, your phone is off.” I answered in my most irritated tone “I know, that’s coz I’m sleeping, are you chicks back?” she giggled and said “sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt the you know what. Any who we on the way back, it’s soo hot Cleo tried turning on the aircon but ended up turning on the heater” I could hear the others laughing in the background.
There is nothing more annoying that talking to a drunk person when you sober. I asked where they were she said in some location they had to drop of some chick who had no transport to go home and went on about Cleo and Andiswa’s phone’s being off because their batteries had died which was why she was the one always calling, I really didn’t care but try telling a drunk person that. I was beyond annoyed I heard Andiswa scream “what the fuck is this guy doing? Then I heard a sound that sounded like a window being broken, I shouted “what’s going on?” all I could hear was “let go of my phone you freak.” Then I heard a man’s voice, “les’febe asifuni nge phone, asithatheni imoto” translated “this bitch doesn’t want with the phone let’s take the car.” I screamed “ruuuuuunnnnnn” but the phone went tuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!! I immediately called back and it went straight to voicemail, I called again and still voicemail, shit. I stood there in silence frozen.