Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Thirteen

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

What do you do in such a situation? Do you jump in to stop it or let them exhaust the anger on each other? It’s not as easy as people think it is. These two needed this moment and hopefully this will be the end of all the drama. Grown women fighting, no comment! I think we were all stunned by the sudden turn of events because Dalu and I the so called men at this party literally just looked at the scene in front of us. We did not move an inch and if I had a beer in my hand am sure at this point I would be sipping it. Fuck that little green frog with its tea! These were the two best friends or rather co conspirators of this whole mess we were all in all and here they were turning on each other. My wife is Xhosa. I know people say stereotypes are fake and what not but she lived up to it. She did not have a quick temper per say but her capacity to commit violence was worth every penny. I don’t think Khanyi, though slightly bigger than my wife was a match for her. Asthandile was throwing punches and kicks like a man, none of that flapping arms around like what most women do in a fight.

“You ruined my life!”

My wife screamed at her best friend! Khanyi started off being defensive but I think because my wife’s punches actually hurt she was now fighting back and losing. Hell, this was a but down. Dalu made a move to intervene and I cautioned him to stop with my hand. At some point Khanyi’s top was torn in the front and her boobs were now being protected by her bra only. Girls beware, men love chick fights! Yes they are brutal but when you start tearing each others clothes then that shit is sexy. I however had to stop it at this point. I moved in to pull my wife off her whilst Dalu pulled off the semi naked Khanyi. The man had a tent in front of his pants. Must be tough being Muslim and all. When last did he touch a semi naked woman I wondered. The two women were still trying to jump at each other but we stopped it.

“Enough! That’s enough!”

I screamed at them. Khanyi was breathing heavily out of anger and I think Dalu was holding on a bit too tight now.

“What do you think this changed?”

I asked them both. They looked at each other stupidly then my wife walked away into the house. I could hear doors slamming and so on. Khanyi asked me for a tshirt so she could leave. Hers was shredded in the fight. I went upstairs and got her something. She used the downstairs bathroom in the guest room to clean up then she too left. I guess the braai was really done.

Witnessing your wife fighting is not a nice thing. It’s a low moment in your marital life. I had to face this woman in the house. It’s actually shameful that with all my so called intelligence this is the woman I had brought home to my parents and said I have a makoti for you please accept her. I had sent a dowry to this woman’s home and said I am here for your daughter. She was not even worth a goat as far as I was concerned now. It was my fault I know. She was beautiful yes but I had married someone whom deep down I knew did not full love nor understand me. Most beautiful girls only understand themselves. They love themselves too much to find time to try and understand you. How do you compete with the mirror and self indulgence plus all those men that remind them everyday that they are beautiful? It’s not easy. I was not surprised I was here at all.

Dalu came to me and said,

“Mxo, you need to sit down and talk to your wife. After all is said and done you made another woman pregnant, your colleague at that hence it’s your responsibility to alway apologize!”

He said. There is this belief that if you cheat on a person, no matter what goes on to happen, you must humble yourself and take the blame for everything. This includes when they are wrong. Nah, I was not doing that. I nodded my headd though just to agree with Dalu so he could leave. I did not want company.

When he was gone I knew it was time to confront my wife and I guess her me! She had snuck up on Lindiwe and I think she thought I would not notice. When I opened the door she was sitting on the edge of the bed staring into space!

“Are you really pregnant?”

I asked her as soon as I entered.i think that was not the question she expected to hear.

“Why do you care? Too busy making other women pregnant whilst your wife is at home!”

I ignored her retort and asked the same question.

“Yes I am! Why? Now you don’t believe me! Do you want us to go to the doctor again to confirm it?”

She snapped!

“If you are pregnant why are you drinking and why are you getting into physical fights!”

I continued. I did not raise my voice! She stopped and immediately clutched her stomach.

“Wouldn’t you drink too if you found out that your husband, the man you love is fucking other woman at work! You like to act self righteous and holy when you have done worse than me! Stop it! You so evil Mxolisi!”

She said sitting down now as she had stood up.

“Why did you hit Khanyi?”

I asked her but she looked the other way.

“You do know that with what has just happened if I call her she will tell me all your deepest darkest secrets! Is there something you want to tell me before I do this?”

I asked taking out my phone. My wife immediately jumped up and flew for my phone,

“Please don’t call her! I am begging you!”

It was more instinct than reason that made her do this but after all that had happened it made me wonder,

What more could she possibly have to hide?

*****The End******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Mike

I hope this finds you well.

I am a 24 year old woman and I have a slight dilemma. I slept with my boss after the Christmas Office party on December 23. I don’t drive so he lives close enough to me to drop me off. I was drunk but that’s no excuse. He had already put in for leave and I went on leave on Monday meaning we have not seen or called each other since. I am so ashamed to say he is married and I actually know his wife well enough. Now my problem is on Monday I will be back at work. How will I face him? What do I do? I am not his PA but we work in the same wing and he has to pass my desk to get to his office.

Please Advise



31 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Thirteen

  1. Things are getting very interesting apha, seems the lawyer has the upper hand at long last. Thanks Mikeesto

    Lu, how was the boss shag? You don’t sound regretful at all about this, was it worth it? Phof let me not judge coz staff parties are the ish, and if you aint never got laid at one, you haven’t had fun.

    Look, last year was last year, 20FitIn they say, so nawe go with the flow, it aint like you tryiner get married to the guy. Let it go, delete it from your memory, you probably in a long list of staff members that he screwed, let it go.

    Besides, ya’ll aint spoken since then?! It was a one night stand, wham-bam, hit and run type of thing, don’t sweat over it. Be normal when you see him again, don’t act, be normal. I keep wondering if you have a bf or something… Wouldve made things interesting, if you know what I mean!


  2. Thnx Mikey for the daily dose really appreciate it. Tjo i really can’t believe Asthandile still has something to hide, huh what else can be worse than what she has done already. Have a great day errbody.

  3. Clearly Asthandile is hiding a whole lot from Mxolisi, do women like Asthandile really exist? like seriously. Great stuff Mike.

    Luluma, biggest mistake you can ever make is get drunk at a work christmas party and screw a colleague and worse in your case the boss. No use dwelling on it now. Chances are your boss has forgetten about it and you can only pray that he won’t tell anyone because things will be awkward for you at work, men never get labelled, women do. It was a mistake, so forgive yourself and keep it to yourself.

    Tip: Stay away from alcohol at your next christmas function.

  4. Thnx Mike, nice read, wish u cud post twice a day.

    @Lulama… Dear ur boss is probably reading this letter as we speak, anyway act like u dnt care njengok’ba naye enza ngathi akazi nto, plus u were drunk u dnt remember much.

  5. Astha is a witch straight, Mxo ain’t any better either. their marriage is a joke! But saying she is not even worth a goat, really says alot about Mxo and not Astha .that was funny though

    Lulama, NO COMMENT!

  6. Yho yho yho , Lulu my darling get over it now , it’s done you can’t change a thing about it .

    I have a boss who wants me with everything in him and he doesn’t even hide it and I think most of our colleagues has even noticed , and every time we are at the work function or party he tries his luck , but I know one thing is for sure I will never open my legs for him drunk or sober .

    I’m sorry you couldn’t control yourself when you do see him , act like nothing happened please dear , don’t act like your are ashamed of yourself that will only make things difficult for you .

  7. A2Q
    Lulama just forget about what happened between you and your boss it was a one night thing and that’s it, don’t try to develop any feelings for him or have you already developed feelings for him?
    Tell yourself nothing happened and it will feel like nothing happened even if he at some point brings it up (that’s if he remembers) be clueless, he is a married man after all or do you want to be a side dish?

  8. Thanks Mike. They should have fought some more, so they could start airing each others’ dirty secrets. What rubbish marriage, full of so many lies, deceit!!!
    A to Q: don’t worry yourself about it, yes it was wrong to sleep with your boss (but ke December boss!) hhahhha,… But on a serious note, you’re probably just another +1 on his list, don’t beat yourself up about something you can’t change now. Just lift your head high, stomach in, chest out – and soldier on. And no more drunk bonking please or sleeping with anybody else from the office.

  9. cat fight i like it, it is really getting more interesting every day. mike keep up the good job. at you sister thats something you cant reverse just put it behind you it will be all forgetten soon

  10. hahahahah!!!Lulama, o ntja san’ can someone in here give Lulama a double tot Johny Walker Blue please. listen nana go to work on Monday looking super hot and appropriate as the same time, if u have glasses wear them, make eye contact when talking to him. if he talks to u about the Christmas event just tell him you were drunk, you don’t remember anything from that night….

  11. Lulu!!! Don’t remember if asked. That’ll hit him hard if he expected u to!! But Girl pls!!!! No more bojalwa ko next xmas party

  12. Yhooo this is getting more exciting . asthandile maybe she knows the baby she’s carrying ain’t mxolosi . can’t wait to read the next chapter bra-mike

  13. Wow Mike its getting very interesting now. QnA put your guilt conscious in a gift bag and send to the address: 31 Koze Kuse 2014. To be honest my sweeteart there is absolutely nothing you can do. pretend as if nothing happened but the problem is when u have to confront yr manager or even sitting with him during the PA session, may be you might want to apply n leave soon just to avoid any drum nje. good luck ntombazana. i hv a colleague that i would regret having as many night stand with him but i wouldnt because it will just ruin everything nje so what i am saying happy u.

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