If there is something us black folk understand how to. Do its throw a party for no reason. Even when we don’t have a budget for it we will have a gathering. For some reason a braai however is not considered an expense nor a party especially when we tell ourselves that we are having just a few friends over. Again I tried to protest and tell her what a bad idea this really was but she argued that she had not only invited the people and there was no way she was uninviting them. It was embarrassing and it was a good thing this thing of at least trying to make peace with everyone. We had been fighting so much with so many people hence why we needed this for ourselves and them. A distant part in me understood her point. I had been an angry person of late and so many bad things had happened in that time. Make love not war I told myself. This was a spectacularly bad idea for me though but if this was the day the truth came out then so be it. I was tired. Every person I know for a fact that no matter how much they loved a person or an ex, there reached a point where you were tired of the fights, lies, drama and at that point no matter how much you knew you would lose you just didn’t care anymore. This was me now. I did not care. My wife had cheated on me and tried to set me up with her friend so that I could cheat too and then she would get a divorce. This had backfired in that the friend had played double agent and I think at some point fell for me. On my side I had taken revenge to a new level, I had slept with that friend, a colleague from work whom possibly was carrying my baby, my wife’s little cousin and the daughter of the man whom my wife had cheated with. In simpler terms my wife was Palestine and I was Israel. She threw a stone at me and I hit her with a machine gun. Ok if I put it like that I feel kind of bad but those were the facts. What a marriage?
Even when I got dressed I was still murmuring angrily to myself. A braai! Really with all that was happening in my life it was the last thing I wanted. She was insistent if not playful in the way she was asking. I asked her where the girls where and she said they were still sleeping but she was waking them up as they should go with me. Goodness! Now that it was daylight I really did not want to look them in the eye. We have all had that moment were in the morning after you can’t look at the girl in the face and in my case it was two girls. I had broken ones virginity meaning she was now attached to me forever and I had fucked my wife’s cousin. Ok I lie, nowadays a girls virginity means nothing to her. White people has this thing of saying you will always remember your first and cherish that person but black girls it’s different. Nowadays these kids cannot keep their legs shut I doubt they even remember how special their first time was. Imagine having sex at 15 can you even spell the word special. I did not feel filthy, more like triumphant but somehow my small victory felt hollow. I had wanted to do this so badly and now that I had I was not too sure I should have. I asked m wife why she was inviting my colleagues over and she said it was because they were an every day party of my life. Somehow I feel Khanyi had something to do with this. My wife simply was not a calculated person. I used to say my biggest regret in marrying my wife was that she was pretty dumb. She was beautiful yes but there is nothing more depressing than coming home and find that you can’t have a conversation with your wife because she was that ignorant about the world. If I changed to watch news she would get angry and say I was being inconsiderate and if I advised her that she needed to know about the world it would be like I am asking her to commit suicide. What’s worse is that whenever we went out with my colleagues if we had a conversation where everyone was contributing she would make a comment or suggestion about the conversation so ludicrous often I wanted to sink into the ground. She couldn’t even tell you we had nine provinces and name them. Once she asked if Nelspruit was the province and witbank it’s capital. I kid you not. When I tried to correct her as politely as possible after people looked at her in shock obviously she said I had humiliated her. She was genuinely angry as though I had asked her to tweaze her pubic hair in public! Stupid woman! Read a book. My point though is this sudden devious cleverness had taken me by surprise! It’s true then that no matter how dumb a person is when it comes to cheating their geniousness sips out.
When we got into Pick n Pay the girls started asking for things that were not on the shopping list. Ezile though still a bit shy was opening up quite nicely. Even though she was uglier in the sunlight I comforted myself by saying that she had a remarkable body. I guess it was God’s way of balancing things for the poor child. You can’t be that ugly and have a body that looks like a stone too! I don’t know why my wife wanted us to have this braai. The guilt factor in me died down really quickly though about me sleeping with both these girls because regret usually is a luxury for people with time on their hands. I did not have that. It was done. So many people focus on sins of the past as though they can go in the past and fix them. That will never happen and truth be told not even in the bible did someone go to the past. The girls wanted chocolates. Like seriously what is woman’s obsession with the one thing that is guaranteed to give them the pimples they hate so much. After we picked up a few things I remembered that we needed charcoal. Truth be told charcoal is to a braai but matches is to a smoker! It’s the one thing you always forget. Most people who braai make that one mistake and forget it. Ever asked a smoker why they never have a lighter? Mmmm that’s my point. I told the girls to stay in the line but they refused saying the Pick n Pay was practically empty so we should go together. Charcoal is at the back so we pushed the truly all the way back. As soon as we turned Ezile said,
Her voice was in what I could call a mixture of shock and excitement. I think my heart skipped a beat because I had wanted him to see me with his daughter and better yet to know I fucked her but there was a problem.
When we turned the corner we did it all together as I was in front. He was facing the wine section meaning he had his back to us. However, he was not alone nor was he standing in a position that he could hide it. With their backs to us, his hand was resting on the ass of a young lady whom after she turned was wearing a baby blue sweater marked in big white letters, UCT!
He quickly tried to remove his hands of her ass but before he could explain what he was doing he saw me and recognition of my face turned to horror!
“What are you doing with this man?”
He asked in shock.
“He is my best friends brother in law. You know her and have met her several times!”
“Hello Mr. Matshaya!”
Zimasa said waving slightly but unnecessarily.
“Who is this girl? Another one dad! Your wife is home pregnant and another bitch!”
Ezile asked angrily. I was just yah, shocked is not even the word. She practically shouted it making the few people who were in Pick n Pay!
“I am not a bit…”
The girl tried to speak but before she finished her words Ezile punched her so hard she fell into the magazine shelves.
“I fucked this man dad so fuck off!”
Ezile said to her father and stomped off. It did not register at first what she meant and 5seconds later I said,
Pointed at myself and found myself saying,
It was instinct not cowardice I just froze as overzealous security came rushing to us!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I was diagnosed HIV Positive two years back after I was raped in the school bathrooms. I was a teacher at the school and we used to have night classes for the matrics. I was 24 at the time and I was unfortunate enough to be cornered by three students not even from my school and they raped me. They were arrested etc but never convicted as everything goes in the country. I packed my bags and moved from KZN to North West.
Here I have met a wonderful man who works in one of the mines in the area. We have been dating six months but he always talks about the HIV rate in the mines and how much he does not want to end up a stastic. He is not overly religious but says before we sleep together we must be blessed by his pastor and what not. I love him so much but I don’t know how to tell him about my status without him dumping me. He is the sweetest person but I know his thoughts on this. He has been talking marriage and basically says all the right words.
I feel like I am being punished for being raped and I will never find happiness.