Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Ten

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

If there is something us black folk understand how to. Do its throw a party for no reason. Even when we don’t have a budget for it we will have a gathering. For some reason a braai however is not considered an expense nor a party especially when we tell ourselves that we are having just a few friends over. Again I tried to protest and tell her what a bad idea this really was but she argued that she had not only invited the people and there was no way she was uninviting them. It was embarrassing and it was a good thing this thing of at least trying to make peace with everyone. We had been fighting so much with so many people hence why we needed this for ourselves and them. A distant part in me understood her point. I had been an angry person of late and so many bad things had happened in that time. Make love not war I told myself. This was a spectacularly bad idea for me though but if this was the day the truth came out then so be it. I was tired. Every person I know for a fact that no matter how much they loved a person or an ex, there reached a point where you were tired of the fights, lies, drama and at that point no matter how much you knew you would lose you just didn’t care anymore. This was me now. I did not care. My wife had cheated on me and tried to set me up with her friend so that I could cheat too and then she would get a divorce. This had backfired in that the friend had played double agent and I think at some point fell for me. On my side I had taken revenge to a new level, I had slept with that friend, a colleague from work whom possibly was carrying my baby, my wife’s little cousin and the daughter of the man whom my wife had cheated with. In simpler terms my wife was Palestine and I was Israel. She threw a stone at me and I hit her with a machine gun. Ok if I put it like that I feel kind of bad but those were the facts. What a marriage?

Even when I got dressed I was still murmuring angrily to myself. A braai! Really with all that was happening in my life it was the last thing I wanted. She was insistent if not playful in the way she was asking. I asked her where the girls where and she said they were still sleeping but she was waking them up as they should go with me. Goodness! Now that it was daylight I really did not want to look them in the eye. We have all had that moment were in the morning after you can’t look at the girl in the face and in my case it was two girls. I had broken ones virginity meaning she was now attached to me forever and I had fucked my wife’s cousin. Ok I lie, nowadays a girls virginity means nothing to her. White people has this thing of saying you will always remember your first and cherish that person but black girls it’s different. Nowadays these kids cannot keep their legs shut I doubt they even remember how special their first time was. Imagine having sex at 15 can you even spell the word special. I did not feel filthy, more like triumphant but somehow my small victory felt hollow. I had wanted to do this so badly and now that I had I was not too sure I should have. I asked m wife why she was inviting my colleagues over and she said it was because they were an every day party of my life. Somehow I feel Khanyi had something to do with this. My wife simply was not a calculated person. I used to say my biggest regret in marrying my wife was that she was pretty dumb. She was beautiful yes but there is nothing more depressing than coming home and find that you can’t have a conversation with your wife because she was that ignorant about the world. If I changed to watch news she would get angry and say I was being inconsiderate and if I advised her that she needed to know about the world it would be like I am asking her to commit suicide. What’s worse is that whenever we went out with my colleagues if we had a conversation where everyone was contributing she would make a comment or suggestion about the conversation so ludicrous often I wanted to sink into the ground. She couldn’t even tell you we had nine provinces and name them. Once she asked if Nelspruit was the province and witbank it’s capital. I kid you not. When I tried to correct her as politely as possible after people looked at her in shock obviously she said I had humiliated her. She was genuinely angry as though I had asked her to tweaze her pubic hair in public! Stupid woman! Read a book. My point though is this sudden devious cleverness had taken me by surprise! It’s true then that no matter how dumb a person is when it comes to cheating their geniousness sips out.

When we got into Pick n Pay the girls started asking for things that were not on the shopping list. Ezile though still a bit shy was opening up quite nicely. Even though she was uglier in the sunlight I comforted myself by saying that she had a remarkable body. I guess it was God’s way of balancing things for the poor child. You can’t be that ugly and have a body that looks like a stone too! I don’t know why my wife wanted us to have this braai. The guilt factor in me died down really quickly though about me sleeping with both these girls because regret usually is a luxury for people with time on their hands. I did not have that. It was done. So many people focus on sins of the past as though they can go in the past and fix them. That will never happen and truth be told not even in the bible did someone go to the past. The girls wanted chocolates. Like seriously what is woman’s obsession with the one thing that is guaranteed to give them the pimples they hate so much. After we picked up a few things I remembered that we needed charcoal. Truth be told charcoal is to a braai but matches is to a smoker! It’s the one thing you always forget. Most people who braai make that one mistake and forget it. Ever asked a smoker why they never have a lighter? Mmmm that’s my point. I told the girls to stay in the line but they refused saying the Pick n Pay was practically empty so we should go together. Charcoal is at the back so we pushed the truly all the way back. As soon as we turned Ezile said,


Her voice was in what I could call a mixture of shock and excitement. I think my heart skipped a beat because I had wanted him to see me with his daughter and better yet to know I fucked her but there was a problem.

When we turned the corner we did it all together as I was in front. He was facing the wine section meaning he had his back to us. However, he was not alone nor was he standing in a position that he could hide it. With their backs to us, his hand was resting on the ass of a young lady whom after she turned was wearing a baby blue sweater marked in big white letters, UCT!

He quickly tried to remove his hands of her ass but before he could explain what he was doing he saw me and recognition of my face turned to horror!

“What are you doing with this man?”

He asked in shock.

“He is my best friends brother in law. You know her and have met her several times!”

She said,

“Hello Mr. Matshaya!”

Zimasa said waving slightly but unnecessarily.

“Who is this girl? Another one dad! Your wife is home pregnant and another bitch!”

Ezile asked angrily. I was just yah, shocked is not even the word. She practically shouted it making the few people who were in Pick n Pay!

“I am not a bit…”

The girl tried to speak but before she finished her words Ezile punched her so hard she fell into the magazine shelves.

“I fucked this man dad so fuck off!”

Ezile said to her father and stomped off. It did not register at first what she meant and 5seconds later I said,


Pointed at myself and found myself saying,


It was instinct not cowardice I just froze as overzealous security came rushing to us!

*****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

I was diagnosed HIV Positive two years back after I was raped in the school bathrooms. I was a teacher at the school and we used to have night classes for the matrics. I was 24 at the time and I was unfortunate enough to be cornered by three students not even from my school and they raped me. They were arrested etc but never convicted as everything goes in the country. I packed my bags and moved from KZN to North West.

Here I have met a wonderful man who works in one of the mines in the area. We have been dating six months but he always talks about the HIV rate in the mines and how much he does not want to end up a stastic. He is not overly religious but says before we sleep together we must be blessed by his pastor and what not. I love him so much but I don’t know how to tell him about my status without him dumping me. He is the sweetest person but I know his thoughts on this. He has been talking marriage and basically says all the right words.

I feel like I am being punished for being raped and I will never find happiness.

Please Advise

Ayanda M.

40 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Ten

  1. Now that’s how you start off a brand new year, Thanks Mikeesto, what a chapter my gaaad. Killed me with that Nelspruit- Witbank dumbness lmao!! Welcome back fellow.

    Aya: I think its obvious sisi, you need to let your man know the truth, let him decide if he wants part of this or not. Its clear this guy is heavily into you, so before you make a huge mistake, tell him. If he is genuine, he will stay with you regardless of your status. I’m deeply saddened by your horrible ordeal, hope you fully recover mentally and psychologically. God loves you.


  2. Happy new year friends,thanks Mike 4 a gud start hope we gonna enjoy reading your blogs as usual,god bless u dis year.

  3. Thanks Mike, lovely read as always.
    A to Q: tell him the truth and let him make his decision. If he can’t take the truth, too bad, coz that’s the way things are.

  4. A to Q: Telling the truth is not the easiest, but always the best option. You could either build your life with him on the foundation of lies, or you could just tell him the truth and see true love prevail. If he truly loves you, he’ll stick around. After all, HIV is just a status, not a death sentence, there is still life beyond it and if that guy really loves you, he’ll know that. If you guys love each other as you say, then nothing should ever come between you, not even HIV.

    All the best

  5. Great – lineup for 2015 I see. Thanks for this episode.

    @ Ayanda – cc rather let him make the decision himself by telling him, just don’t run away again because everytime you meet someone you’d hav eto explain again. If he is such a sweet and understanding person, and sounds like he is aware of the disease..He will know the decision to make, if its meant to be – it will continue or otherwise lift your head up – be strong – it was never your fault!

  6. Thanks Mike,what a great start to a new year!!!
    Ayanda M: I feel your pain girl,trust me its never easy to tell someone you love about being positive. Because he’s talking about the future I guess you need to be brave & tell him your story (being raped). Maybe just maybe he’ll understand and not leave you. Good luck

  7. Hapi New Year evry1,,,thnxxx Mikey may 2015 b excellently spectacular 4 U,,,,Now if m not mistaken it was said de Boss(Astha’bf) can’t hav children mos hw can his wife b preg thts y Asthandile’s child is not his or did I mis sumthing??

  8. karma is definitely a bitch 😀 I can imagine his fear for his daughter’s health..he has been sleeping around left right center even with varsity students forgetting he has a daughter….nxa! Happy New years Mike and my fellow blog lovers 🙂

  9. thanks ta mike.. happy 20-fit-in to u ol fellow bloggers.. wow , Jackzorro m so happy to see.. haha how much I hd miss ol dese..gowshhh , lol

  10. Happy new year………………thnx Mike mmmm what a way to a first day @ work ku 2015 but SHIIIIIIT did she just say she Fucked that man iyoooooo shit is abt to go down.

  11. Kwaaa I die. Astha is worse. Kwaaa doesnt know the capital City of Mpimalanga… Hae I rest my case.

    @ Ayamda tell him, if he is the man God wants you to spend the rest of your life with then he will stay. Good Luck and askies for what happened to you.

  12. Ngwaga o motsha mense,tjo Ezile is so premature damn!!!!
    QA,dead by the part the priest must put u hands b4 u hv he clean from the hiv?the early u tell him the better,cos u da 1 who’s gona b left with a brocken heart after a year or so.y dnt u ask him to go test together nd take it from there??

  13. Wow mike! U r brilliant! Eziles dad is such a pig…bad role model
    Ayanda- m sorry bwt ur ordeal, i hope u can find peace. Your bf sounds lyk a gud guy, please tell him, he wil respect u forever. Its not ur fault that u wer raped, i hope he can understand dat.

  14. Happy New Year! What a loooong wait. Glad most of you guys are in the new year.
    Thanks Mike! Hope u had a good festive season.

    Ayanda I think it is best to tell you partner about your HIV status. If you need help dealing with your ordeal or how 2 break the news call this number 0807867428. They are a good organisation that can help you or facilitate you breaking revealing your status to your partner.

  15. Welcome back and Happy new year family.

    Aya the sooner you tell him the better. Tell him about rape and go test together . All the best dear

  16. “I fucked this man dad ” .u just sahd little girl without thinking straight . can’t wait for the new chapter broer …

  17. Compliments friends! Hope u had a gud 1& u all well & gud. I missed this space…

    Mike…WOW! What a chapter..thank u…u have clearly re-charged!!!

    Aya my dear…let the guy know & make his own decision…thats all i can say 2 u…u never know…but tell him…Continue taking care of tourselve & be strong. Gud luck. God Bless u my Angel! U r loved!!!

  18. Ayanda, the problem is that it will be difficult to disclose after such a long time, 6 months is long it might appear as though you have hidden the truth intentionally meanwhile it is also not easy to disclose to every man you meet. This HIV thing is tricky but even then in my case I took the risk and made it look like I just heard about it during the first weeks of our relationship as I understood it would be harder as time goes by. Fortunately he understood and still continued to persue marriage. He will also stick around, I suppose he knows you well enough not to judge you once you tell him.

  19. Lol Sessy!

    Omw Ezile is really premature! Kwaaaaaaaaaaaaks Happy New year people.

    Mike you have outdone yourself lovely!

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