Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Sixteen

Betrayal is a dish best served cold. When two women fight expect all the secrets to come out. It’s amazing girls can throw all their toys out of the cot when they fight each other especially where a man is involved. Loyalty when it comes to a fight between girls is like dignity in a prostitute. Nothing and no one is safe. If one girl feels like you are happier at her expense she will go to your man and spill everything that you did in Mozambique with that other dude. Men wiser than me when we they want to know what their wives or girlfriends have been up to simply pick a fight for you. Usually and honestly you hardly ever see it coming. Your friend for many years can betray you so fast you will think she is rushing to the front of line because Jesus had come back and only had one free pass into heaven for the person that got there first. This is why I was dumbfounded at her response. I clearly had not expected that. If you consider the fact that they had just had a physical fight where my wife had accused her of all that yet here she was standing up for her. What kind of nonsense is that? I would have thought she would throw her friend under the bus something which Asthandile had just done. There are some people you just can’t be loyal to.

“Did Asthandile call you before I came?”

She said no and asked me why? I smelled a rat. They clearly had spoken. She took her phone and came to show me that their last conversation was before she even got to the house that morning. Friends like these are keepers. Someone who will not betray you come what may. Problem is, they were not even friends from last I checked. I was not going to ask more.

“I am going to run you a bath, you smell!”

She said but more in a teasing voice than anything. I did not take offence because a could smell a slight odour myself. If you are non drinker honestly how do you stand to be with someone who drinks. Alcohol smells very unpleasantly. She was going all out to be sweet. Maybe she was trying to seduce me again so she could spite her ex friend. It certainly looked like it but I was not up for it.

I was not going back home though and since I had no car and no wallet I decided I was going to stay here for the rest of the day. I will sleep on the couch. The chemistry I once had or rather felt for Khanyi was gone. She did not even look that attractive anymore. That’s the problem with a side dish, it’s like, it’s like gum, loses its flavour after a few chews! She said she was going to cook for me a proper meal the way a woman should for her man. Eyebrows moment but I just ignored her.

“Is your DSTV working?”

Was my response. There was soccer to be honest I was not being rude. She did not seem to care though because she replied yes and went to the kitchen. Five minutes later I could hear her singing gospel music. Honestly this singing whilst you are cooking just makes you spit in our food. I am just being honest but try telling your mother that and she will moer you like a stray dog that has entered a black man’s house. Women don’t get it, for most men, before God created them, he created soccer! I can concentrate on it all day. If you are Xhosa like me He then created rugby and cricket. At some point He realized that whilst you are watching soccer someone has to cook and pass you a beer and this is were you come in! Yeah call it sexist but soccer and beer just go hand in hand and I can’t stand up during the game. Even to pee. I am sure you feel the same way about Isibaya if you are Zulu, Muvhango if you are Venda and if you are from Pretoria Skeem Sam, Khumbule’khaya if you are from. The Eastern Cape! Whilst on that subject how do you girls that are not Tswana but are dating a Tswana guy survive that funny Pretoria guy talk? I would get irritated in moments then hang myself. Its like they are rapping in cursive! Khanyi though it seemed was having a good time. She brought me a washing bowl for my hands, a wipe the works. She said normally we should sit on the table but seeing that I was watching soccer she will make an exception… heaven!

It’s funny how much as Khanyi was doing all the right things kitchen wise I could not see her as a wife. She was just not the type and so many women are like that. Not marriage material. Once a man takes you as a side dish chances of him ever seeing you as a wife are zero to none because already you have shown no self respect. She started telling me about her plans. She had applied for jobs in Gauteng because she wanted to move from this place. However she had been putting money aside because she wanted to start her own business and already had a few clients. She also revealed to me that she had a BCOM Economics degree and the day we had sex she had actually been celebrating that she had passed her Honors. She never got a chance to tell me that because of what happened next. I felt a bit guilty and looked down. Awkward moment indeed. Is this how it feels when the topic of rape comes up when you are sitting with a rape victim? It can’t be easy. I congratulated her. She said she wanted me to join her in the business as she respected my logic and could be an asset in giving her idea etc. The conversation though serious was full of purpose and quite intellectual. I enjoyed it immensely. I say this everyday, a woman with ambition and drive is the sexiest. It’s not about how you look but about how you think! Did not even see the soccer score funny enough. I helped her with dishes at some point.

She took me to my room and said,

“Sorry it’s a bit small but I hope it will do. If you prefer the couch you can use that too but I am certain you will be fine. There are extra blankets also. Tomorrow morning 830am we leave for church.”

She said as calm as a sleeping baby. Eh this woman was playing house with me. Now we had to go to church together, what the fuck was this? As soon as I closed the door she came back to my room and said,

“Why didn’t you tell me that Lindiwe is dead?”

She was genuinely shocked and even seemed out of breath!

“I thought your friend told you!”

She snapped,

“I told you I have spoken to her until now when she sent me this,”

She showed me an sms which read,

“That bitch is dead. Car accident! God punished her for trying to still my man. Watch your back!”

I swallow spit!

*****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

My story goes as follow: I lived with my great grand Gogo at a location and my mom stays with my half brother, we have different dad but I love him so much.

When I was young I went through a lot of moments in which my mom always had different men until my little brother dad, but she never loved his kid and wanted us to do the same. She didn’t want me to go to my dad at my young age until I was old but used to see my dad behind her bcos my grandparents didn’t like what she was doing. Yes my dad never did anything for me and I would say that’s why I don’t value him that much. My mom is the only person that’s financial stable in my family, yes she took me through my school and high school. When I got to tertiary she only paid with the police money which pays one year of school fees but for my 2nd year she started to fight with brothers dad.
That’s when she started going out late and shouting at me, beating me up when I would go out late which I was over my 18teen.
Now the story where I need help with is to help myself move on.
She found this man who was a criminal and a jailbird. He iseven HIV/aids positive. This man is those man that like woman and girls. So everytime he drank he would be touchy touchy with me and say a lot of stuff that he thinks his funny and showing off with me where I used to work for them at the sport bar. This one time he was drunk and wanted to do his touchy and a bit more. I told him that this time it was the last time I am telling him to leave me alone than he started with insult me and I talked bad. He told me how much he doesn’t give a damn about my mother, how useless she is and my mom ass and so was mine. Told him he never saw my ass and that every word he said so as he.

When I told my mother, she defended him so much that even my brother told me that every weekend she beats him up. Now my mother is not talking to me because of everything I have done to defend myself from this bad man of hers. She stays with him and his 2kids plus my little brother, and he is also crying for help cos he is unhappy. Thank God he not a girl bcos she would suffer a lot. This man he even doing his 8year old daughter cos he hold his dad penis and she even kiss him like adult. My mother does see this things but she plays ignorant with all this is happening hence if I didn’t act fast he would have wanted to sleep with me but I didn’t allow that and now I am a bad person.

My message with this letter I wrote is that not only is our nation a problem with rape it’s also our parents that fail to believe us that when a man start being touchy it men’s we looking for them to sleep with us but even when I am 26 I am scared of a man touching me and we need more woman to believe in us and listen when we talk because it end up being rape because of our parents not believing us when we talk.

The help I need is to get a job and getting myself, my brother help to move on with this because for me the only financial support I get is my Gogo pension and my bf money. I have forgiven my mother even when I tried talking to her she is ignorant with me, so any suggestion on how to let this go wud help a lot. Especially if someone assist me with getting a job so I can stand for myself.

Sad Lady

60 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Sixteen

  1. Eish Them’Lihle it is a true shame that your mother does not believe you. Truly protection does start in the household and onwards. Our mothers and fathers out the must start looking out for the children instead on their own financial wants.

  2. 1st 2 comment whoop whoop! Q&A yiii! This letter is so depressing, aowa bathong! 4 a person who went 2 varsity ur english gives me migraines. Anywho, u need to save ur lil bro 4rm ur mom and his devil of a boyfriend, but I think his kids also need saving from their dad, creeps like him belong in prison and being sum1’s bitch lol

  3. This is a touching letter am even crying when I think about that 8 year old girl. Them’Lihle my heart ache for you, can u please report that step dad to the social worker and police because what he is doing is not okay. Your brother there are chances he will grow to be like him and that little girl will grow up thinking what is going on is normal. What am trying to say is that please get those children out of that house by reporting the situation to the authorities.

    I am going to pray for you God will help you.

  4. Sad Lady, I feel for you and your story is touching and I trust you will succumb whatever obstacle is in your way. I suggest you contact social workers or report your mother’s boyfriend, the emotional and physical damage he is in inflicting on his daughter will damage her in future.

    Do not take offence to this, but, at the age of 26 your grammar should be up to scratch. I understand English is not our mother tongue, but we are living in an English world and English is spoken in the business world.

  5. This letter is all over the place, but from what I gather your mother’s new boyfriend is abusive but she cant see that because she doesnt want to accept the fact that she had failed to see his true nature. when will us women stop abiding by society standards that if you are a single mother you are a failure? I respect women who have succesfully raised their children on their own and have not stood so low to welcome a dushbag in their homes in the name of “complete family’ what is family really? Is it where a man and women abide with kids but no love?

    If a mother fails to protect her kids, who will then?
    God help us please, this is so sad

  6. Sebengasho nje abelungu that we must “get over it” shem. When I see 26 year olds write incomprehensible stuff like this, I can’t help but be bitter about this Bantu education we got… We stay losing. Not only did we get a raw deal education-wise, we remain almost unemployable. Sad for days

    1. @Employer do not blame Bantu education for her bad grammar. She is 26 not 46, she had enough time to brush up on her skills if she wanted. We are 21 years this year from 1994, let us not blame Bantu education where there is no need to be putting blame on it

  7. Q@A, Them’Lihle sorry for what for what you are going through. From your letter I gathered that your Mum is a police woman but clearly doesnt know her duties as a police officer and a mother. Please contact social workers and report both the dickhead and your Mum for being an incompetent officer of the law

  8. This is 1 sad story. I can’t imagine what you must be going throu. I think you just need to move away from your mother try find a job that is away from where you stay so that you can avoid the situation at home coz I can see its affect the way you live your life since u scared of men, hopefully some1 wil b able to assist you. Goodluck.
    #You guyz need to stop being judgemental you don’t even know y her english is poor n I tot the more you read n talk in english is the only way ul learn english even if we r dominated by english in this world many youngsters who are not good wit the language.

  9. Asandile caused the accident, she just wanted Lindi to loose the baby. Fortunately she also died. This woman is wicked!!

  10. Thank you Mike. ..interesting how side dishes are ambitious and Mtho must be careful not to give in the nice treatment.

    Q/A: what an ordeal ur brother and the girls are going through. Hit fast to social workers and open a case against this scumbag of a man. He deserve jail and nothing else but be prepared to move on without ur mom. She’ll be bitter with you.
    As for employment is concerned try restaurants and retails while you find something you studied for but that English you writing won’t get you no where. Read and improve urself my dear

  11. Mike i like the way u play with vocabulary lesson learned today I will never be a sidedish q Thembelihle first of all I would like to congratulate u for braveness despite the tough situation u have been through what I like about u the most is that u want to be independent which is great stepped for every woman goodlucky on job hunting

  12. Mxm we not from UK nd sum of us ddn have go to schools where English s a 1st language. Blacks ngokuhlala bezenza ncono nge language ekungasiyo neyabo mxm

  13. QnA No comment, coz honestly I don’t understand anything you said in your letter. You might as well have written in vernacular. Sharp

  14. Some of you really need to get a life, just because you speak better English does not make you better, smart or classy. you are actually doochbags. mncwm. *Pissed*

    You must have been one of those students who would laugh in class if another student dared to answer a question in “Broken English”. Shame you are disgusting, instead of addressing her problem, you tearing her down for her use of the English language, like really. You so stupid, if she had stuck to “vernec” some of the people would not understand. It’s a shame because you find white people who cannot speak English as well, and no one ever ridicule them. If you could not understand her message you should have just shut the fuck up, MORONS.

    @QnA, you should get the Social Workers involved so that those precious babies can be taken to a safe place. It is just so sad that some mothers would put their children’s lives at harms way, just to have a useless d*ck. Try applying for NSFAS so that you can complete your studies as jobs are hard to find these days and more especially if you do not have qualifications.

  15. Comment to ZAMAH!!!—- im sure igama lakho is ZAMA AND NOT WITH AN H!!!, NGUBANI OZENZA NGCONO NOW,!!!<<izilungiso ke kungcono wakho ngoba umbhale kakubi yena kuqala ngolwimi lakho kengoku!!!!

    ukuba awunanto entle okanye yokulingisa ngcono ungabhali nto qha!!!.

    Well done on the story Mike!!!!Entertainment at its best!!

  16. I don’t think the point of the letter was for people to comment on her grammar or lack thereof. this is a desperate young girl crying out for help. this is the reality of our homes and our children.

    lady please supple us with your details so that we can find you help in your area.

  17. Thanx Mike!!! Sad lady kindly move your brother away from this monster if he does that to his own daughter and he’s a jailbird as you mention your brother is not safe at all.

  18. QnA: Sad lady, if you keep quiet about this it will affect a lot of people, the 8 year old daughter no.1,who will eventually be infected with AIDS, at a young age, let alone the emotional baggage she will have for the rest of her short life,:

    1. Please go to the nearest Social Worker and report this story, so that the children can be safe,then it will be the social worker to take the kids to counselling and also to report the crime.
    2.As for a Job, be always on the lookout on the internet, and also hand-deliver your CV,to places that you think you would be able to do the jobs.

    3.As for the mother, if you try and do research in stories like these, they end up regretting what they did, so the only way to deal with her is to give her up to the Lord to deal with Her.

  19. If people do not know what to say then they really must just keep quiet, all these comments about the grammar in this letter are just unnecessary, this person is asking for advise on her problem and really doesn’t need your criticism on her grammar, not all of us are afforded the same opportunities, let us stop being ignorant and boastful. If her grammar is so unbearable then help her

  20. Thanx Mike!!! Sad lady kindly move your brother away from this monster if he does that to his own daughter and he’s a jailbird as you mention your brother is not safe at all. Gud ppl this girl wrote this letter b,cos she wanted help not corrections on her english grammar to all those who advised her may God bless and I hope she report this to authorities to save those innocent souls

  21. I am sorry to say this but I totally think that mos
    t of the people are out of control here. I do believe if you have non to say dont leave a comment. somebody is going through a lot right now and all you could speak about is her English. No people lets practice empathy, phela the world is really cruel out there * trully dissapointed*. A please go to Social Workers they will help you dear and please hang in there. God is with you dear

  22. All those complaining about grammar, I am assuming you all do not make mistakes and that you are perfect beyond any standards set by society. Shame on you all….if you have nothing constructive to say, it wont kill you to keep your vial venom to yourselves or maybe it would kill you and the world would minus hypocrites. Them’lihle I found this number 0800 428 428 Dept of Social workers, hope this helps. I pray that God will grant you the strength you need to see you through this.

  23. I jst wonder why this letter wasn’t adited b4 being posted here coz am sure Mike read these letters b4 us,,Sisi ngicabanga kuthi fanele uthole umsebenzi kuqala ukwazi ukuzimela ngaphambi kokuthi uze usize izingane zakini,ngoba lezinto zama social worker zingathatha isikhathi hlampe kwawena ngabe usuxoshiwe kini,kufisela inhlahla kozokhetha ukukukwenza

  24. all those complaining about the english u really need to do sum introspection, tomorrow it could be ur daughter, cousin or granddaughter and you will expect sympathy,

  25. All of you gotta shut up, you’re expecting too much from a troubled girl nx niyanyanyisa man! Uphi uJackzorro bakwethu?

  26. Reali guys talk about kicking a man when he is down already really disappointed. Did she req help with her grammar no just because wena u sharp dont look down on someone else who knows what she was feeling when she wrote her letter maybe dats de a mistakes

  27. Labantu abahlala bakhuluma nge gramma bayanyanyisa,asizanga ku english class lana,angazi why bangakhomenti or bathule pissed,nikani umtwana ama advice or nihambe nina niyofunda belungu abamnyama mxm gramma my foot

  28. Iyooo Them’lihle I do agree with Nthabiseng Nana go report that burstad of a man, those kids needs your help cause even your brother is not safe with that guy. How do you know he hasn’t touched him as you said he is a jailbird and man are sleeping with each other at jail. You need to safe those kids go report him and your mom ti the socialworkers, clearly they are not fit to be called parents.

  29. Lol did he say they rapping in cursive??? LMAO good one. Mike!
    To all those who are very good in English, please assist this lady and stop pointing out that she can’t write proper English yet she is 26 and from varsity. You will find that a lot of you who are very fluent and can write proper English are stupid when coming to other subjects.
    When I was in tertiary, coming from schools where our teachers could not even speak English well. I passed my English ka E higher grade! But believe you me, in tertiary we had students from those high class school, who spoke English so well they could make the queen jealous. The problem with them was that they were bad in other subjects. I mean mathematics, physics, chemistry etc. Even though my English is bad, I hit 90 to 100 percents in those subjects. Yes I’m a civil engineer today and all they could do was to leave engineering and became news readers and some I bump into them ko edgars le woolworths (at the tills)… yah mara still good in english
    Conclusion: this woman might be better than some of you intellectually…

  30. Hai mxolosi there’s no more union between u and ur wife . I guess its time for u all to go ur separate ways . phela nou u holding onto a broken glass which ul never get all the pieces together . playing question and answers isn’t healthy for any relationship . ur frustrations and complications with this dishonest woman will affect ur career . wheel up have to loose both at once

  31. Hahahahaa awee Mike did it rili have to b Moz thou, paid for by who??? Lol ai…

    Q&A Sadlady your story is jst too sad, plz report that dog to the authorities and babygirl Modimo ha tlholwe ke nix jst pray and everything will oneday b ok.

    And as for you all English Teachers u must have came across “language prediction” somewhere in communication skills so I dnt understand how you’ll dnt understand a thing in that letter being smart as u r. If u have nothing better to say, jst say nothing!

  32. Sadly kwi letter ya’ll noticed grammar n all, nconoke nimthathe nimubuyisele eskoleni ngoba kushuthi inkinga yakhe niyahluleka ukuyifunda.
    m sure an english person/umlungu omhlophe wud have read and understood this letter simply because they dont care about the grammar but about the matter reported. Some of the reasons engenza nginqene ukuba mnyama indlela esicabanga ngayo. Bekuyini nje ukudlulisa usizo noma ukuthula? Ai suka

  33. I wonder hu died nd made most of u english teachers!!!!timuuuuu kaipotsa kemang ale rutileng le d word“ grammer”halephaphe!!!!nywe nywe bantu education!hu fucken cares?as long as u understood nd got d message..“Its not all of us dat r privillaged”nxa

  34. Hai people just like to comment nje for the sake of commenting, this lady clearly ddnt say she has a problem with her english if yall can’t help her just keep quiet and thank mike for the story. We can’t all know english no matter if u went to school for 12yrs or not we still have minister and worse a president that doesn’t fully know english and people at high position that still struggle with the language and it doesn’t matter if they old they can still go back to school themselves, please people can we just for once keep unnecessary comments to ourselves.

  35. @ Qna…..ts too bad how 1 cud easily judge n criticise bt dear i wnt u 2 focus only on thoz who simpathise wt u,,,ppl dez always a better way 2 correct a person but not ths 1 clearly u keep on failing Mike every time why be bitter to sum1 u do nt even knw de gal is only seeking fr help not ur bitterness Plz ppl ths is a blog whr we suppose 2 be getting comfort but not 2 be judged…

  36. some of u speak as if u were born speaking English, the poor girl didn’t write this letter to be told about her grammer but rather to get assistance. Them’lihle if u can provide me with your email address i’ll send your some recent post, nothing fancy but it’s a start hopefully you’ll get yourself a job from one of the applications. And stay strong God doesn’t put you in a situation where He’ll never protect you.

  37. I’m so disappointed in sum of the ppl on ds blog….n if ur English was dt superb u wud of understood wt dt letter was all abt cz u cud of easily corrected her mistakes in ur head….n white ppl dnt hv to hate on us blck ppl cz we dnt speak the same language anymore cz our own race does it btr yoooooooh!!!

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