Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Seventeen

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One, how did Khanyi know that the “bitch” in question was Lindiwe since clearly she had been informed via sms. Two, had my wife just confessed to having something to do with the “bitches” death and finally three, had she just threatened Khanyi! This was a moment. Khanyi did not seem worried at all by this and I was now confused as to whether I was being played yet again or this was serious. Asthandile really was starting to unravel and funny enough I didn’t start this, she did. Be careful what you start because often you can’t finish it. Most men underestimate what women are capable of yet our jails are full of women who have committed henious crimes. High profile women right down to the scum that comes with the lie they share jail cells. I know this because I have seen them so why deny the fact that my once sweet wife was capable of this. In spite of everything that had happened there was one thing I had never done and for the first time ever in my marital life, I took off my ring negatively. I did not want this woman anymore and truth be told she was scary.

“I am really sorry for your loss. As you know me and her started off on a bad note but we had started talking in Ernest recently and she was actually a nice yet complicated lady.”

She said. She could see I had tears in my ears and she moved in and hugged me. This was the first time we had had physical contact since she picked me up. Don’t worry, we were not going to be like white people who when they are crying can have sex, happy they have sex, emotional for any reason sex! Black people when we mourn we are so dramatic I doubt our dicks even go up! Your wife will not give you sex for months after someone she cares for days. That one I can guarantee. She stepped and took her leave.

“Please don’t forget tomorrow it’s church and I will wake you up nice and early!”

She said when she left for her room. I had no will to stay away and in moments I was fast asleep. Dead to the world.

Morning honestly did not seem that far away because as soon as I put my head down I felt as though I was being woken up. She had actually made me breakfast.

“Shouldn’t we eat after we come back?”

I asked her naively and she laughed saying I will starve if I do that but I did not quite get her. I ate.

I could do with church. Khanyi told me that one of their sister churches would be visiting today so it would be packed and fun. Devine intervention for everything I had gone through was certainly needed. Khanyi went to one of these new age happy clappy churches. It was foreign to me. They had a band, pastors younger than me even, and even the mam mfundisi looked like she had just stepped out of a plane for overseas. I literally stared at her the whole morning and for the first time in my life I was looking at a woman I swear was more beautiful than my wife. Was this the turning point? I found myself shaking my head to try and concentrate. What’s worse they were talking about temptation? Really? She was wearing a knee length skirt and sitting just an angle facing the congregation. It showed you just enough to want to keep on looking just in case she makes a mistake. Ah mam mfundisi was turning me into a pevert. And mistake she did make, I spied a little white V from under her skirt and if I was light I am certain I would have blushed. No wonder why these new ages attract so many young people, it was like attending the church version of a party. The congregation was young but as with all born agains they looked and sounded holier than thou. The ironies of life I tell you. There were also more, way more women than men and a lot of young children. When you looked at most women’s fingers what I found missing were rings. You don’t need a statician to tell you this, most single mom’s after the betrayal turn to God and become born again. I am not that wise though I must confess because I read it in a book somewhere.

After church they had a meet and greet. Church had taken 4hours imagine. No wonder why she had made eat. This was crazy. Most churches take less than two hours but clearly here things were different. I was actually tiredm It so happened that when we stepped out of the door, way behind anyone else we found someone actually waiting for Khanyi. It was the mam mfundisi. The sweet ironies of life. They greeted and Khanyi turned and said,

“This is my sweet friend Mxolisi, he is like a brother to me and one of the best lawyers in Cape Town!”

That was her introduction of me. I was like a brother now. I was not sure whether to be offended or to ululate that she had moved on from me. I greeted the mam mfundisi who told me she was so glad I had decided to visit them. She motioned over someone and introduced me to someone else,

“This is my little sister Yolanda Cele remember that name, she is doing her articles and I think you too will have a lot in common!”

She was as beautiful as the sister but that comment from the sister made her talk,

“My sister Lusanda thinks I have something in common with everyone that mentions law and I don’t know where she gets that,”

She said extending her hand for a handshake. This girl was confident no doubt. Straightforward and to the point.

“Khanyi leave your brother here, he is in safe hands. Did you bring the plans for the party?”

She asked her. Khanyi said they were in the car and asked her to accompany her too take them. Hold up! What about me? I had a look of panic on my face.

“Don’t worry I don’t bite.”

She said after seeing my discomfort.

“So what brings you to our church? Did yours burn down?”

She asked with a serious voice and when she noticed I was surprised by that question she said,

“I am just kidding. Loosen up. We not in court Advocate!”

It’s not that I was not loosened up as she put it but rather things were happening too fast. I was used to passive women like my wife before she went crazy not a straight talker. The only other person who spoke like this died just yesterday and here I was. She was like little Lindiwe without the attitude.

“I got bored and decided to try something new. Khanyi, my friend…”

I said pointing at her as she walked to the car,

“Has been inviting me for a while now so today I decided what the hell…sorry, heck and I came!”

She laughed.

“It’s ok you can say hell. I say fuck and shit like everyone else!”

My bad! Thought these born agains don’t curse. We spoke a bit about her and a bit about me. I noticed she looked at my hands a lot as I spoke and I was not sure why. Khanyi and the mam mfundisi did not take long. Khanyi was holding what looked lie a proposal document. We did not stay much longer and we said our goodbyes. Yolanda gave me her numbers and I in turn gave her mine. I apologized for not giving her card but I told her that I normally didn’t bring them to church because this was not a business meeting place. She laughed and said everything is a business, especially church! Her sister looked annoyed at that comment and her, well, she looked like she did not give a rats ass!

Khanyi made me drive. She said I would look pathetic if I was to get into the passenger seat. Funny enough she was right. There is no way that girl was not going to turn and look. Problem is, Khanyi drove a lime Mazda 2 of all cars! Humbled! I even managed to stall once as it was a manual and I drove an automatic. When I got home I had an sms which read,

“Great driving there Schumacher! Y”

I am certain that was Yolanda referring to me stalling. I smiled.

“Nice move there player!”

Khanyi said. I think she had seen my smile.

“What move?”

I asked innocently.

“By taking off your ring you made yourself available.”

O crap that explains it. The reason why she kept looking at my hands had been to see if I was married or not.

What was my next move?

****The End*****


Thanks brother I have learnt a lot from you. I appreciate
I’m a 24 year old woman, fun, responsible, good future, grounded, I lost my virginity at 21 because I was ready to a guy I didn’t really like but he was datable lol and he was a good guy and madly in love with me so I dated him cause he was the only guy who approached me after I don’t know how many years. My problem is ANGISHELWA BAKWETHU (I don’t get approached at all) my good 12 years in high school no one has ever approached probably that’s why I was still a virgin. I am good looking ungadideki, dress smart like other galz but men just pass compliments now and again but no one really approaches. I am fun I joke now and again guy “friends” like being around me coz I’m that open girl. Why are they not approaching me, I can’t ask them those guts didn’t grow in me coz I don’t have them. I last had the dance in 2013 (jackzorro don’t laugh) lol. So the whole of 2014 not even a street kid has ever kid about liking me, by the way that boyfriend was a 2013 been with him for 3 years nakhona ngaythola ngo nkosisikelela ( won’t translate that sorry ) even when I was with him no man has ever approached me, if it’s a curse what’s its name coz I stay in Durban but the breeze and water can’t take out. I am sick of this I feel less of a woman I mean I never get to choose which guy I must date out of the 3or4 that’s approaching like other girls. Even guys would fall for a friend I’m with but still compliment me without even talking to us. (The physical approach) my sister is 26 her last bf was in 2010 and never been approached ever since, I finished school at 16 but to be honest 4 guys have approached not dated mind you, we have single mothers they are independent they are actually four sisters but none of them got any luck. I worry about this so much. We both worry. Can the history repeat itself kodwa, we really don’t know what to do. We don’t do sangomas i don’t know whether it’s a curse or khesi NGZOTHIN?. We cannot talk to people coz we would be the laughing stock so this helps.
Please say something. I wanna get married and have my own family but angyaz lendwangu engimbozile noma imnyama iyanuka ifana nesalukazi maybe abant bazbonela isalukazi esizitshelayo nje esiziqhenyayo lol (sorry can’t be translated)
Yours superfaithful

70 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Seventeen

  1. Thnx Mikey you never disappoint as always. Well wena Mthobisi you should not be asking what your next move is, please stop playing those games now. Take a break.

  2. Nice move Advocate, he really needs to move on b4 afe. Dats woman is gonna kill every1 dats gets close to her man.
    Q&A cc I understand awubahambi abantu besizulu but if kuyinto esuka ko khokho izoqhubeka until nibahambe abantu besizulu.

  3. A2Q eish sisi i wuld love to answer ur questions but i dont have answers sorry but ur letter is very funny maan hahahahahahahahahaha

    hang in there uzomthola umaqondana uyaz

  4. Trust and believe in God. Pray in Faith. God always answer prayers. Trust me when I say I don’t believe in History repeating itself but believ in God miracle. Love urself, pray and trust God ways

  5. Nice one Mike. I don’t like divorce but I think Mxolisi should go ahead and divorce. Miss Super faithful… maybe u should try iziwasho from super markets. u just bath in them and I promise u it works. U will be fighting off those boys with a stick. U stay in KZN so this shouldn’t be a problem or go to umthandazi ekubhave uzothandeka. It’s worth a try and it doesn’t cost that much.

  6. A&Q Gal yabuhlungu indaba yenu, try going out more often to places where there’s a lot of potential, clubbing might just help, just saying, go out gal, out and more out.

  7. I am in tears now, this is by far the funniest cry for help letter, lol. It madr my day and broke the ice of the sadding laters that we read…. Sorry cc but thank you. As for indwangu emnyama enukayo thou…. Lol.

    but ke such things happen sisi, some women are just hard to approach, ay ngoba emambi yini but anesithunzi esixaka amadoda, and ke atlst u r lucky u not kuleboat of being played by men ngoba usudidekile usuqoma kwasani. Khululeka nje wena iyrza eyakho ozofisa nokuyiqhumisa ngempama uybuze ibihleliphi, lol.

  8. seems when a door closes , another one opens for the advocate . I simply say khaba lenja .

    The letter has got me in stitches .
    her humour is crazy and she sounds smart so I wonder kushodani .

    ungathazeki sesi . u prince charming uyeza inkinga uza ngezinyawo alikho ihhashi

  9. Thanks bra mike Methobis is turning 2 b a player lol, A@Q miss Dbn wena owangasekhaya angithandi ngampela ngawo plz awubone umuntu osebenzisa izinto zesizulu uzothola usizo or contact me on dis no.0740273473 I’m also single maybe amagazi ethu angazwana.

  10. I wish I was best in advising people! I so wanna advise Help but words “doohhh”… I feel the pain still. I just don’t know what to say bathong! But I thank God for people like Jackzorro…. God bles you!!

  11. Thanx Mike-Mxolisi uhlokoloza uAsthandile. U haven’t even mourned 4 Lindiwe n yo baby u thinking of nxt moves. Hai go home b4 yo wife gets even more mad or u want mom 2 come call u into order. Q&A-sithanda singathandi singabantu n by so saying consult umsamo wakho- I was lyk u bt ke learnt a hard way(even lost my 4 day old son)yah yah ppl might think its a myth. Jackrozoo I shall come bck just 2 read yo adv. Lol.

  12. Thank you Mike Q@U : lol I also thought I had the same problem and I made a mistake of getting married to someone I didn’t really love as a lover but a friend and guess what? I later found out that the problem was not with the guys but the way I presented myself which makes it hard for them to approach me. I’m also beautiful and hot and my husband even confessed that the only reason he went for me was because he knew not so many man can stand me. So after learning this I changed my attitude and the way I take things (not to get a man and cheat but to see if this true), so far I had man eating out of my hand even if I give them a big No and show them my ring. Even at work I’m still the same straight forward person but had lowed my attitude and that helps a lot in some cases as they regard me as a person who is okay to be around with. So maybe you should check what kind of attitude you grow up in as I know and aware that most independent women who raised us gave us that mentality of teaching us that we don’t need a man to survive but on our own we can do it and most guys are afraid of such woman. Good luck and please don’t do something stupid to get attention but be a true lady.

  13. Mxolisi Mxolisi Mxolisi!!! When are you gonna learn that playing is just not for you mara? A2Q sisi nami I also have that “problem” yazi, I hope someone will help us in this blog

  14. hey cc ongashelwa. If u don’t do sangomas I suggest go to the pastor. the good 1 I know is dj comfort in pta at Favours Cathedrall. it sounds lyk a curse to me n I promise u u will get help if u believe. thank you.

  15. Thanks@ Mike uMxo uphambene nyani ke ngoku, I feel for u cc but siyazifanela nje, I ended up dating this guy who is 2yrs younger than me coz angishelwa vele, I’m beautiful, hv a gud job I also hv loads of male frends but abadlaleli nje ekusheleni, maybe nami ngizosizakala

  16. Aw sekukhona no Uhuru la,aw safa ama free bz(tickets).nxa boyz be busy aproachin’ iyntombi zethu bayek naba omahamba yedwa.ulungise nekhanda mama kuthiwa buhle bentombi busekhanda,2015 is your year sistaz uye nasolwandle ungabhukudi ngesishweshwe wear some bikinis kuzolunga

  17. thanx mike, u story rocks…

    A2Q cc u need to do somethng abt this, cruz. go to sangoma or apostolic church where they use water and candles. this things happen and maybe its a curse so be wise and stand on ur 2feets…

    good luck!!

  18. Ah ah ah! This is a set up Mxo. She is doing her articles they say? What are the chances that she’ll get with you just so she can have evidence of you cheating on Asa? Maybe she’ll be representing her ka divorce. WALK AWAY MXO,WALK

  19. Guys Mxolisi didn’t do anything but took off his ring as a decision for divorce. Of course the other consequences are “out of his making”. If I were him I would also play safe by avoiding playing.
    I would also not trust that girl as she is connected to the Khanyi and Astha so play far and start by clearing your plate of Astha before making the next move.

    As a man, I can tell you that Fan is on point. I will give you details later and how to practically turn things around for yourself. I have a meeting for now. Yes, I know people I help to do that. Fortunately you are still young and still have a chance to change.

  20. and i though i was the only one at the receiving end of this misfortune. maybe we should create a support group for us all who are unnoticed and rejected by the male species

  21. Thank you Mike, Where is jack kanti?

    I thought mxolisi was getting better, manje uyaphi emasontweni no Khanyi. its time to focus and deal with Asithandile and her friend, at least Lindiwe and the baby are off the way, minus one problem.

  22. No,no Mxo should just take a braek,because mosadi wa moloi-loi,otlo ba fetsa nya.
    N umiss DBN,malove this things do happend,u n ur sister should sit ur mother down ask her.we they is a will they is a way.stay strong…God is in control

  23. Hay ngeke Miss Durban angithandi yazi please call me ngikyalele muntu who will help you akasebenzisi imithi uyathandaza unenkinga dear +27780386394 I’m a woman ngyadabuka uyazi

  24. Thnxs bhuti mike,mxolisi can b a jerk sometimes u knw,bt it seems like sekakhohliwe ngo lindi n da child,hai dis man

    well girl I dnt knw if its a curse or what bt it sounds like a real problem,we are (black) africans right?so ubuloyi its something dat exists,whether u believe or not*jst saying* hope u fin all da help u need

  25. am crossing my fingers fr jackzarro’s advice especially fr this letter

    comeback shem tell these that are keeping you busy to gv you a break

  26. Oh Sisi ongashelwa I wish I could share izesheli zam nawe..but help is here,mthandazi or church.whichever you believe might help
    Good luck babe

  27. A2Q…. Girl, inzima eyakho. But I know a guy who might like your type. 073 427 5193. Tell him you got the number from me. But by all means, don’t tell him I posted it here. There’s probably nothing wrong with you. Maybe just a higher power protecting you from bad things (think about it)

  28. My sister; it takes 400 years to be free from a curse,your family needs deliverance from generational curses.then u n ur aunts lethole m’shato(marriage).Bishop Zondo from Rivers of living waters in evaton can help you with deliverance

    If what I am saying bores you or does not work, google “catch him and keep him” and buy that book; for now you can read my opinion for free and I had not read that book (as I am a man). This is going to be long, so get your popcorns. Have you seen the movie “Soul Food”? (Okay, I am revealing my age) it is a mother of all African American romance movies. Your focus should be on that lady who is a lawyer (Teri) and you will see my point.

    Lets start by saying you claim to be good looking but I want you to understand the word attractiveness as opposed to admirable. If you watch Skeemsam (don’t be that Zulu who doesn’t watch non Zulu things); there is a boy called T-bos and Kwaito. If you were to choose which one to date between the two (I think they are around your age though young) I believe you will choose Tbos Maputla even though Kwaito appears to be intelligent and everyone sees a bright future for him; I believe he has looks of being a tough man unlike Tbos who looks like is a paperweight and troubles follow him. The reason is attractiveness!

    There are women who have everything that is in a tickbox of a good girlfriend or wife but miss one big tick, which is attractiveness. This has little to do with witchcraft or bad luck but has got to do with conduct. The way they are, you don’t want to approach them as you will be told where to get off or rejected sometimes it is just courting trouble from afar (my Teri in Soul Food).
    Would you be attracted to “Velaphi” (RIP) if he was wearing a suit or jeans or shorts. The answer is you would admire how his clothes and hair suits him but he would still not be attractive to you.

    To get a picture of people that are not approachable, if you were to be stranded at a party at 10pm without a transport who would not you call in your list of friends? You don’t have much reason not to call that person from the past but you know that you will be answering thousand questions or the person will blatantly refuse. You also don’t want the person to know that you were caught in such a situation. That is a person who is not approachable. Now to test this on you, if your friend (lady or guy) were to be stranded in a party at midnight (think of other embarrassing situations) would you be of the first two people she calls or the last two people who are called? I am not talking about your availability to be called but their willingness to call you first.

    Okay, you still don’t believe me, why your male friends don’t talk sex with you? Is it because they respect you too much to discuss such issues? The answer is that you are not approachable for that subject.

    Lets say you also watch Muvhango, there is a girl Matshidiso. Forget about her scheming, but look how attractive she is (it is said she has a bright future on her behind). I can tell you that though she is attractive, man will avoid even a one night stand with her unless he knows that he will leave town afterwards. Remember when that guy still had his memory lost he was trying to avoid her because there were lots of resistance he felt towards her.

    Now I am going to talk about size. If you are fat you know it, I am not talking about just being overweight but obese (all women cry about being fat). Here is a big myth you have heard, there are some men who likes fat women! The answer is big NO. I dated a big woman before and everyone thought that is my preference especially when I said I don’t get turned-on by boney thin women (think of that Kuli Robert’s sister from old Isidingo) then whenever I am single I would be bombarded with such. The truth is that I didn’t mind a slightly big woman but that was not my first choice. My point is that if you have to get a surgery to loose weight, do it (as you have been lazy to go to the gym). The benefits are much more than the cost, trust me I know someone who has done it. Most guys will not even look at you if you are fat unless he has not many choices. I did it out of naughtiness to see the other extreme side but there were many things that made me to call it quits which I will not tell you. Oh, obese women tend to cling once you pretend to show any interest or teasing so guys try to avoid such troubles.


  30. Now that we have talked about what is wrong we will talk about how to make it right.
    On the issue of grooming, start with those grooming you hear from your friends. Men are creatures of desire; I should desire to HAVE you before I can approach you. This does not mean you should dress like a slut (whatever that mean). But start by trying to venture into that direction, I know it may be uncomfortable at first but go for it anyway. Remember the first attempt is to get nyaope boys to whistle at you, just to boost your confidence. Of course it should not be a sudden change, at a certain point you will know that you are in a right direction and start to tone down.

    Your car (assuming you now have one) has taken you off the market. I don’t say guys are afraid of you because you are driving, but you need to restore confidence by being poked (not a dailysun type) in a taxi and on the street. So when not in a hurry, suffer that pain of a taxi to bring your mojo.

    Now on the approachable side, you can start with your friends. Stop being the one to shout at their misdeeds but praise them. Yes encourage them! For example if your female friend tells you that she tried anal (yes I am extreme) what you should say is how disgustful is that or tell her of all dangers you hear about; but ask her “what was the look at his face” or “did he like it” or other questions that doesn’t judge her but encourage to be wild. You will start hearing more personal stories and the guy friends’ jokes will stop being shallow but can be sexual.

    Did I tell you that half of those guy friends would not mind dating you if given a chance or doing you if ungalahla? Some can date you as an extra (sidedish) but became friends with you because of your stubbornness. So start the teasing games with your friends and then move forward. Yes I know you joke with them, but you normally joke about weather so now joke about naughty stuff. Did you notice that those top wanted women are also being joked at on the sexual related stuff. Open that hole as well.

    Oh, can you stop being a very strict person! Let some of the things slide, also some of the people to use/abuse your trust and care. Yes in a relationship women don’t have many rights but are abused so tough ones are going to give me problem as a guy therefore I will tend to avoid them.

    Then you can start to be in those areas where it is marketable like parties, funerals, clubs. Remember your attempt now is not to get a right person but to be attractive so that the right person can consider coming to you.
    That’s it for now. You can ask further questions for more info as this was pages full.

  31. @Bhejane: had to come back and read your thesisi!!! Ihhhehhhe *clap once*. Tjjohh, you are so honest (from a guy’s perspective), and eish (from a woman’s perspestive) – ukhuluma iqiniso esingathandi ukulizwa. Hope Dbn lady will be assisted.

    1. KaManyosi,
      Is that what you have witnessed as well on the women who are not that much in the market? Which part was more true?

  32. @Bhajane: I like think women and Skinny. I’ll go for a think woman who’s among Skinny women if I’m attracted to her. So your theory is your theory at the end of the day. but its an interesting notion I must say.

    1. Obet. I accept that you like thick women. By the way, what is your definition of thick? I would be happy if you make example of a celebrity. Unfortunately most people define thick women as very obese, just like in that movie of Thick Madam (Phat Girls).

      I also wonder the following: In the little many thick women have you had in your past few relationships compared to skinny women? Had you had a skinny (size 32-36 or around there) woman before and what was the difference? I want to know why do you like thick women.

      Yes everyone has his own preference, so thick is yours!

  33. This letter was just too funny to just pass by and not reply lol. Sisi post your pic on Facebook and I will find you a man lol, and you better not have crazy standards hey.

  34. @Bhejane, Just google thick women, I’m sure the details you after will be available and vastly. if you’ve only known size 28 for the rest of your teenage/young adult life, you’ll be surely revealing your age to me. Enjoy your movies.

    1. @Obet I googled them. What I saw is what I also like. Remember I said when I told people I dont like skinny (size 28); like Hlubi Mboya; people thought I like fat. Google fat as well and you will see what I was talking about. How else would I refer the QnA without using public information like that on movies or TV? But we agree on the same taste.

  35. @Bhejane u are so sick n twisted in so many ways… it comment is uncalled for, its pple like you dat make fat pple feel like they don’t belong in society.. so if shez fat, she now needs to loose weight just because she can find love…ur stupid thesis is uhhhhm STUPID!!!!..iv got so many thin beautiful friends who are single so even if sad lady is dat uyeza umuntu dat will love her…yes I’m fat and soo beautiful I know dat for sure n I’m single not because of my weight but because I want too….like obet said enjoy your movies

  36. @enhle. I agree that comment on weight is uncalled for since she said that she is good looking.
    I did not say if you are fat you wont get a relationship nor if you are thin you are guaranteed one. But it is one of the things that reduces your demand significantly, and you know it!

    I believe they belong in a society and I have few lady friends who wear more than size 46. Only one does get into semi serious relationships but I know that is because those guys are looters who are there to enjoy fun things of her money while they cheat a lot. I also have one that did a surgery and her demand jumped quickly (yes you may say those are shallow guys). Then there are others who are single, judgmental and publicly claim to be at their own choice but I hear them wanting those relationships when chatting one-on-one.

    Loosing weight is very difficult (million dollar industry) but at her age it is still possible. I know few colleagues /clients who lost a lot of weight (more than 40kg for one person) so it is possible.

    You can also enjoy your snacks while waiting for that special person.

  37. @Bhejane, right on man your comments are spot on……
    To Superfaithful,
    Can somebody scream FRIENDZONED louder than you right now please, girl you are in trouble and from your mail i can sense you are the cause of it all.
    Those guys you call your friends are actually guys who wanted you in the biginning and ended up friendzoning you once they realiised you are not girlfriend material.
    Now there are many reasons men would deem a girl not girlfriend material, and some of those reasons are 1. your attitude(towards life and everybody) 2. the way you present yourself 3. being too possessive or clingy 4. being a “miss goody too shoes” who judges everything and everyone 5. Acting like some kind of god(expecting people to kiss the ground you walk on type attitude)….ect.

  38. Now you need to find which of these reasons you identify with, then maybe we can take it further and help you with that specific issue.
    But meanwhile you need to start by being more open minded, smile more(men dont approach women who always look like they are angry at the world) Dress up more sexy, and if you are thick or “fat” then you need to find clothes that suit you appropretly(thick women dont look sexy in a mini skirt trust me)
    Another thing you need to learn to recognise a flirt when it happens to you. Like when you notice a guy looking your way and keeps looking at you every now and then it means he is testing the waters to see if you are approachable so if you just give him one look then look away like he is not there then he wont approach.
    And lastly i have noticed some woman would complain about not being able to meet men and all but then you find that she stays indoors 24/7. You need to go out a bit more im not saying become a party animal but a braai here and there, movies now and then, and just an occasional walk to the shops and back will help…..AND SMILE often.

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