One, how did Khanyi know that the “bitch” in question was Lindiwe since clearly she had been informed via sms. Two, had my wife just confessed to having something to do with the “bitches” death and finally three, had she just threatened Khanyi! This was a moment. Khanyi did not seem worried at all by this and I was now confused as to whether I was being played yet again or this was serious. Asthandile really was starting to unravel and funny enough I didn’t start this, she did. Be careful what you start because often you can’t finish it. Most men underestimate what women are capable of yet our jails are full of women who have committed henious crimes. High profile women right down to the scum that comes with the lie they share jail cells. I know this because I have seen them so why deny the fact that my once sweet wife was capable of this. In spite of everything that had happened there was one thing I had never done and for the first time ever in my marital life, I took off my ring negatively. I did not want this woman anymore and truth be told she was scary.
“I am really sorry for your loss. As you know me and her started off on a bad note but we had started talking in Ernest recently and she was actually a nice yet complicated lady.”
She said. She could see I had tears in my ears and she moved in and hugged me. This was the first time we had had physical contact since she picked me up. Don’t worry, we were not going to be like white people who when they are crying can have sex, happy they have sex, emotional for any reason sex! Black people when we mourn we are so dramatic I doubt our dicks even go up! Your wife will not give you sex for months after someone she cares for days. That one I can guarantee. She stepped and took her leave.
“Please don’t forget tomorrow it’s church and I will wake you up nice and early!”
She said when she left for her room. I had no will to stay away and in moments I was fast asleep. Dead to the world.
Morning honestly did not seem that far away because as soon as I put my head down I felt as though I was being woken up. She had actually made me breakfast.
“Shouldn’t we eat after we come back?”
I asked her naively and she laughed saying I will starve if I do that but I did not quite get her. I ate.
I could do with church. Khanyi told me that one of their sister churches would be visiting today so it would be packed and fun. Devine intervention for everything I had gone through was certainly needed. Khanyi went to one of these new age happy clappy churches. It was foreign to me. They had a band, pastors younger than me even, and even the mam mfundisi looked like she had just stepped out of a plane for overseas. I literally stared at her the whole morning and for the first time in my life I was looking at a woman I swear was more beautiful than my wife. Was this the turning point? I found myself shaking my head to try and concentrate. What’s worse they were talking about temptation? Really? She was wearing a knee length skirt and sitting just an angle facing the congregation. It showed you just enough to want to keep on looking just in case she makes a mistake. Ah mam mfundisi was turning me into a pevert. And mistake she did make, I spied a little white V from under her skirt and if I was light I am certain I would have blushed. No wonder why these new ages attract so many young people, it was like attending the church version of a party. The congregation was young but as with all born agains they looked and sounded holier than thou. The ironies of life I tell you. There were also more, way more women than men and a lot of young children. When you looked at most women’s fingers what I found missing were rings. You don’t need a statician to tell you this, most single mom’s after the betrayal turn to God and become born again. I am not that wise though I must confess because I read it in a book somewhere.
After church they had a meet and greet. Church had taken 4hours imagine. No wonder why she had made eat. This was crazy. Most churches take less than two hours but clearly here things were different. I was actually tiredm It so happened that when we stepped out of the door, way behind anyone else we found someone actually waiting for Khanyi. It was the mam mfundisi. The sweet ironies of life. They greeted and Khanyi turned and said,
“This is my sweet friend Mxolisi, he is like a brother to me and one of the best lawyers in Cape Town!”
That was her introduction of me. I was like a brother now. I was not sure whether to be offended or to ululate that she had moved on from me. I greeted the mam mfundisi who told me she was so glad I had decided to visit them. She motioned over someone and introduced me to someone else,
“This is my little sister Yolanda Cele remember that name, she is doing her articles and I think you too will have a lot in common!”
She was as beautiful as the sister but that comment from the sister made her talk,
“My sister Lusanda thinks I have something in common with everyone that mentions law and I don’t know where she gets that,”
She said extending her hand for a handshake. This girl was confident no doubt. Straightforward and to the point.
“Khanyi leave your brother here, he is in safe hands. Did you bring the plans for the party?”
She asked her. Khanyi said they were in the car and asked her to accompany her too take them. Hold up! What about me? I had a look of panic on my face.
“Don’t worry I don’t bite.”
She said after seeing my discomfort.
“So what brings you to our church? Did yours burn down?”
She asked with a serious voice and when she noticed I was surprised by that question she said,
“I am just kidding. Loosen up. We not in court Advocate!”
It’s not that I was not loosened up as she put it but rather things were happening too fast. I was used to passive women like my wife before she went crazy not a straight talker. The only other person who spoke like this died just yesterday and here I was. She was like little Lindiwe without the attitude.
“I got bored and decided to try something new. Khanyi, my friend…”
I said pointing at her as she walked to the car,
“Has been inviting me for a while now so today I decided what the hell…sorry, heck and I came!”
“It’s ok you can say hell. I say fuck and shit like everyone else!”
My bad! Thought these born agains don’t curse. We spoke a bit about her and a bit about me. I noticed she looked at my hands a lot as I spoke and I was not sure why. Khanyi and the mam mfundisi did not take long. Khanyi was holding what looked lie a proposal document. We did not stay much longer and we said our goodbyes. Yolanda gave me her numbers and I in turn gave her mine. I apologized for not giving her card but I told her that I normally didn’t bring them to church because this was not a business meeting place. She laughed and said everything is a business, especially church! Her sister looked annoyed at that comment and her, well, she looked like she did not give a rats ass!
Khanyi made me drive. She said I would look pathetic if I was to get into the passenger seat. Funny enough she was right. There is no way that girl was not going to turn and look. Problem is, Khanyi drove a lime Mazda 2 of all cars! Humbled! I even managed to stall once as it was a manual and I drove an automatic. When I got home I had an sms which read,
“Great driving there Schumacher! Y”
I am certain that was Yolanda referring to me stalling. I smiled.
“Nice move there player!”
Khanyi said. I think she had seen my smile.
I asked innocently.
“By taking off your ring you made yourself available.”
O crap that explains it. The reason why she kept looking at my hands had been to see if I was married or not.
What was my next move?
Thanks brother I have learnt a lot from you. I appreciate
I’m a 24 year old woman, fun, responsible, good future, grounded, I lost my virginity at 21 because I was ready to a guy I didn’t really like but he was datable lol and he was a good guy and madly in love with me so I dated him cause he was the only guy who approached me after I don’t know how many years. My problem is ANGISHELWA BAKWETHU (I don’t get approached at all) my good 12 years in high school no one has ever approached probably that’s why I was still a virgin. I am good looking ungadideki, dress smart like other galz but men just pass compliments now and again but no one really approaches. I am fun I joke now and again guy “friends” like being around me coz I’m that open girl. Why are they not approaching me, I can’t ask them those guts didn’t grow in me coz I don’t have them. I last had the dance in 2013 (jackzorro don’t laugh) lol. So the whole of 2014 not even a street kid has ever kid about liking me, by the way that boyfriend was a 2013 been with him for 3 years nakhona ngaythola ngo nkosisikelela ( won’t translate that sorry ) even when I was with him no man has ever approached me, if it’s a curse what’s its name coz I stay in Durban but the breeze and water can’t take out. I am sick of this I feel less of a woman I mean I never get to choose which guy I must date out of the 3or4 that’s approaching like other girls. Even guys would fall for a friend I’m with but still compliment me without even talking to us. (The physical approach) my sister is 26 her last bf was in 2010 and never been approached ever since, I finished school at 16 but to be honest 4 guys have approached not dated mind you, we have single mothers they are independent they are actually four sisters but none of them got any luck. I worry about this so much. We both worry. Can the history repeat itself kodwa, we really don’t know what to do. We don’t do sangomas i don’t know whether it’s a curse or khesi NGZOTHIN?. We cannot talk to people coz we would be the laughing stock so this helps.
Please say something. I wanna get married and have my own family but angyaz lendwangu engimbozile noma imnyama iyanuka ifana nesalukazi maybe abant bazbonela isalukazi esizitshelayo nje esiziqhenyayo lol (sorry can’t be translated)
GUYS THIS IS THE LAST LETTER I HAVE PLEASE SEND MORE….firstname.lastname@example.org