Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Eighteen

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

Is it not always the case that usually when you are with someone you feel like you will never find someone more beautiful, more charming or more loving. Falling in love with a person often means you feel like if you lose them you will never be able to replace them. That’s the fear we have in all of us. Yolanda had just reminded me that, well that it’s not entirely true. I was interested in her. She did not look nearly as good as my wife and the last Zulu woman I knew, Khanyi did not really serve as a good example for the rest of her tribe. I would be damned if I went there. What she had shown me though was that everyone is replaceable no matter how good you think they are. I am a realist I guess. This thing of living on fantasies is for fools and in this I am so much the fool. Khanyi warned me to stay away from Yolanda because she was just a child I should not be seeing her as a potential. I laughed at her saying with Asthandile I had my hands full. She seemed annoyed at that statement but tried hard not to show it.

“I want to take you to this place I know for lunch. I sometimes go there with my friends just for a chilled outing.”

She said changing the subject. I told that I am open to knew places. It was on Long Street, this African restaurant that played music when you were eating. I had been here before once but it had been at night. I pretended however that I had never been here to give her the moment. She asked if she could order for me after I pretended to be confused by the menu. She joked that since she was paying it was only right. Then she surprised me,

“Mxolisi I am happy that you arre staying at my house and you can stay as long as you want but not like this. You need to go home and sort things with your wife. You are too respectable a man to be sleeping on a couch!”

She said looking me straight in the eye as though to show me that she was serious. I had not expected that. Khanyi had turned from being seductress praying mantis to friend giving marital advise. What game was she on now? I nodded in agreement and told her that it was my intention.

“So what are you going to do about your marriage?”

She asked me candidly and truthfully I told her,

“I don’t know!”

I won’t lie lunch was a blurr because I was thinking of what I was going to do next. It’s not easy. I had to go home and face my demon. An elephants tusks are never to heavy for it right. I asked Khanyi to please drop me at home but promised her I will be back. She was very reluctant and all the way home she begged me to reconsider saying that Asthandile was not normal and only an idiot who touch that woman with a pole. Maybe she was right but I had to go make it clear that I would never run away from my home like this. Khanyi asked me if I would rather be dropped off at the corner because she did not want Asthandile to know where I had slept. I agreed because she was actually right. This would only pour fuel to the fire. She dropped me up the road and I walked down the road slowly.

When I got into the house Asthandile was sitting in her morning gown eating yoghurt and biscuits. She loved crushing Marie biscuits into yhogurt and then eating them together. It had never caught on. It was surprising to think that this was the same woman who could be so vicious and so cruel. I stood in the doorway and looked at her for a while. This was my wife, my better or worse and through thick and thin. I remembered those vows so well when I walked in. The door was not locked so I open the door which made her turn and immediately she ran up to me and hugged me crying,

“Mxolisi where have you been, I have been so worried!”

I said nothing but I don’t think it would have mattered because she was still talking,

“I know we have our fights but disappearing like that my husband. I called your phone until I turned blue. Why did you not get back to me? What did I do to deserve this?”

She was right. I had been harsh. I opened my mouth to respond then she put her finger on my lips,

“It’s ok. I don’t care where you were! You were mourning about your friend. I understand. I am sorry. I am just glad that you are home!”

This is when I got my chance to sit down and I asked her to sit down.

“Asthandile, tomorrow I am going to see my lawyer and I am going to ask them to serve you papers,”

I said in a calm and very steady voice.

“Papers? Papers for what?”

She asked me confused.

“We can’t hurting each other like this. These are divorce papers!”

I said without changing my sombre tone. I took off my ring one last time and for some reason now that I was doing it in front of her it felt heavy. It’s like it did not want to get off but I got the job done. I stood up leaving her there but before I got to the stairs I heard her stand too and in what was more like a hiss than a tone she said with bated teeth,

“Over my dead body Mxolisi!”

She said,

“I won’t sign them and I will never divorce you!”

She said defiantly!

****The End******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Sir

I am a 14 year old girl and very much enjoy your books.

My problem is at home. My parents divorced last year around August. From what I understand my mother was violent and always picked fights with my father. She once hit him with a broom and it broke. I witnessed her several times kick and slap my father on different occasions but he always backed off. My father is bigger than my mother but he always resisted hitting her or something. One day I think he had had enough he fought back and beat her up properly. She had him arrested but even when we told the police what was really happening at home they said a man should not hit a woman. I was told I was too young to testify such but it’s the truth my mother was the abusive one. I live with my mother now because of school but since October she has brought home four different men to sleep with her. One of them is married to a police woman in our neighbourhood and I want to go and tell her what her husband is doing with my mother. I am so scared of my mother but I also hate her for what she has done and is doing. My father is still fighting for my custody but the fact that he hit my mother that once means his case is slim at best.

I am already seeing a social worker in private through my school but I still feel like I can do more.

Thank you Sir


44 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Eighteen

  1. I’m back finally yhuu! Missed you guys a lot, life is not the same without this blog.

    Thanks Mikeesto, Asthandile has a solid nerve. Thursday cometh!!

    Minor, girl what you have experienced in your home is hell. Abusive parents are traumatising and for the broom to even break is just down right ghetto. Your mom needs intervention, a serious wake up call to shake her very core.

    You need to pack your bags and go stay with your Pops, regardless what courts and judges say, at 14 they expect ya’ll to make abortions without consent yet can’t decide on your own which parent to stay with?! The contradiction.

    You need to tell your mom what you think of her, tell her you want to stay with your dad coz she is exposing you to a nasty and bitchy lifestyle. What if one of these man makes moves on you while she sleeps, can’t be trusting of these sugarboyfriends.

    For your own safety and sanity, get out of that whore-den while you’re still pure my Lil sister.

    All the best

  2. Thanx bro Mike. Astha better not attempt to suicide herself #bitch#

    Minor I have to applaud you for speaking up and trying to save your hell bent life. For a child your age, u very brave. Now while we at it, Jackzorroz hit the nail at the head, our government is very stupid and ignorant the go around allpwing minors to abort but stl take away their right to choose who they wanna stay with. For God sake even a 5Year old can decide huz good btwn mom and sad.
    So, I suggest you tell your mom how you feel and tell her if she dares behaves like a horney teenager that you gonna up and leave. And don’t leave it there act up if she brings one of her ben-5z pack your thongs and go to your dad. And while at that, don’t forget to open up to that social worker and let them know that u going to your dad’s beacuse of wjat your mom is doing. That way your testimony to her, will then be used against your mom in court and ur dad will get full custody n ur mo. The help she needa if she neess any.

    Goodluck. And stay as strong as you are.

  3. Thanks Mike.. yoooh at the long last Mxo is taking a right decision.. Divorce this untrustworthy and selfish wife..

    Q&A I’m deeply sorry for what you are going through, mara my advice will firstly consult a elder family member that you trust.. tell that family member what you are going through. then my dear GO AND STAY with your DAD without ur mom approval.. She will not force you to come back!! “you can force a horse to go the river but you cant force it to drink water”. you are still young to witness all those sugarboyfriend. After all your dad deserve ur support. He needs you. Im so proud of him for what he went through.

  4. Nice Work Mike
    What scares me about blogs.
    Its good in that our kids are not wrapped in cottonwool and know the realities and pains people go through.
    Some of the immoral and bad advise given us, is being read by 14 yr olds.
    As they always about tweeter etc… lets be responsible when commenting to some issues.

  5. The divorce wont happen even if the story is leading us to think so. I always go back to chapter one Mike to remind myself. Let them separate at least.

    QnA, run away to your Dad’s house. This woman who calls herself your mother abused you emotionally by abusing your Dad physicaly, who says she wont abuse you physically one day when life turns its back on her? I repeat myself run away to your Dad’s house, deal with the law later.

  6. Is tym 4 divorce they only bring out the stress in each other. Thnx Mikey. Little Minor i think u should also talk 2 family about your mom’s behavior maybe your grandmother or even ask your mom if is ok 4 u 2 visit 4 a weekend n that way u will get tym 2 tell them. Gud luck little sister

  7. Hi Mike, can you please check your site, i think it has some kind of a virus… every time I come here, there’s this slimming link that redirect me to it, even though I did not click on it, and since this started on Friday, all the websites I visit start to redirect with different ads

    1. Hi Lerato,

      Please go to internet settings and prevent pop-ups (or activate pop-up blocker), That should help your problem.


  8. Thank you Mike for yet another great read! Jackzarro it is great to see a comment from you. been missing your comments!

    Minor: Eish I dont even know where to start. MOthers are supposed to be the protectors of their families and not the destroyers. She has not only destroyed her marriage to your dad, but also your sense of security and belonging.

    Your dad seems like a very sensible guy and I would also like to second and third those who have said run and go stay with your dad. the law cannot force you to live with your mother in those conditions of MEN hounding your home. You are very young to witness such and you are SERIOUSLY not safe because RAPE is a REAL and SERIOUS issue in SA!!!

    Please do not worry about the fact that school might be a bit far from your dad’s place. Your dad is grown, he will definitely make a plan. Besides everything else, school just recently started so he may even change you to another school that is close by to where he stays!!! But please for you own safety, just RUN like Usain Bolt and do not look back!!!

    Stay strong baby… all shall be well!!!

  9. Thanx Mikey. Haai u Asthandile yena is trouble better divorce her sorry ass, enough is enough. She must know that she has gone too far the fun is over now, tjo m so tired of her shame.

  10. over Astha’s dead body. yes she’s right she will kill him and inherit evrything if hubby ale maroko like he is, slow thinker for a lawyer, wake up Mtho. i feel for you.

    wena Jackzorro u are summoned for leaving the house w/out notification, do u know how we were all worried bout u, dont do that again loverboy.mxwa.

  11. Minor

    Please pack ur bags and go to ur daddies place, its not safe there….tell ur dad what’s been happenting…if ur mom asks what happened tell her u dnt like her lifestyle..

  12. Dear fellow readers. Due to the sexual nature now and then of the story. SHOULDNT IT BE RESTRICTED TO PLUS 18 YEAR OLDS? WHY THEN UPLOAD A LETTER FROM A 14 YEAR OLD?

  13. Labantwana bayayıbuka lento e TV wıth theır parents nogal! You cant expect bhut’Mıke to do mıracles habe! Its not hıs job, nına khuzanı ızıngane zenu. A great read and Jackzorro… I see you 🙂

  14. I agree 100% with Brian.

    Mike, you have not handled well the issue of Mxolisi mourning Lindiwe. Your stories look real, but Mxolisi cannot just ignore Lindiwe’s death, please address this aspect.

  15. There is more explicit situations than these if u people complain about this minor where did she get a foun to read n even go to internet . You ppl u don’t think u jump to concluding what’s wrong with u.*Brian dear* o tla thola le go jola le jola nabo.but guys if u fail to control situation ya nowadays how do u think our bro Mike will do.

  16. You are making a big mistake by divorcing her. Let her suffer boet…. bring a nyantsi in your bedroom and tell her to sleep in the guest room. She should reap what she’s sown. But, I smell an ace coming out of your wife’s triple long sleeve.

  17. Ama 14yr old’s siphambana nawo emaclinic for contraceptives, angekeke zingafundi uma sezikwazi ukwenza, so nje imani kancane, uMike akaze athengele ngane ifone n angeke silokhu sibuzwa iminyaka everytime we try to log on the blog, kahleni bo nina.

    @Minor, you are too brave lil girl, and i love you for that. At your age its not easy to spot a wrong especially from a parent, a mother at that. So as your elders have advised you, yes, open up to your social worker and go stay with your father, you are a South African and you have rights more than your parents.
    Good luck dear child.

  18. Dear brian
    If a 12 year old is allowed to have an abortion..clearly a 14 year old is more experienced nd mos def allowed to read dis blog..bottom line all of us r here to learn sweeti.

    1. LOL!! Siyanda though…. That pic is in some office somewhere headed for the blog , straight up:) but ngzothula ke if awuthandi *winks*

  19. Lol @ Rele first of all!!

    QnA Given today’s world, in my opinion ok n its only better that even 14 year olds are educated early rather then later, how was she to come seek advice on this site then? Not that it’s entirely right, let I not contradict myself but issue of sex, alchol etc really do not have an age restriction these days. The sooner children are aware, the better choices they stand to make then finding yourself in the “surprise basket” at 18.

  20. lol I cant help but laugh out loud jackrozzo is really in demand hey! personally I feel that we are face challenges in our lives and such platforms are for everyone to learn, grow and interact with one another so whoever has a problem with that should just do him or herself a favour and NOT COMMENT if he or she feels like the writer is of a tender age SIMPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  21. You guys are asking Mike to do what? I think its good that young ones will get to know more about sex, why are we trying to hide it as if its a crime.
    Is Mtho applying for a funeral? For a lawyer he really can’t fight.

    Astha has spoken. Lets see the drama unveil.

    Thanks Mikey

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