Is it not always the case that usually when you are with someone you feel like you will never find someone more beautiful, more charming or more loving. Falling in love with a person often means you feel like if you lose them you will never be able to replace them. That’s the fear we have in all of us. Yolanda had just reminded me that, well that it’s not entirely true. I was interested in her. She did not look nearly as good as my wife and the last Zulu woman I knew, Khanyi did not really serve as a good example for the rest of her tribe. I would be damned if I went there. What she had shown me though was that everyone is replaceable no matter how good you think they are. I am a realist I guess. This thing of living on fantasies is for fools and in this I am so much the fool. Khanyi warned me to stay away from Yolanda because she was just a child I should not be seeing her as a potential. I laughed at her saying with Asthandile I had my hands full. She seemed annoyed at that statement but tried hard not to show it.
“I want to take you to this place I know for lunch. I sometimes go there with my friends just for a chilled outing.”
She said changing the subject. I told that I am open to knew places. It was on Long Street, this African restaurant that played music when you were eating. I had been here before once but it had been at night. I pretended however that I had never been here to give her the moment. She asked if she could order for me after I pretended to be confused by the menu. She joked that since she was paying it was only right. Then she surprised me,
“Mxolisi I am happy that you arre staying at my house and you can stay as long as you want but not like this. You need to go home and sort things with your wife. You are too respectable a man to be sleeping on a couch!”
She said looking me straight in the eye as though to show me that she was serious. I had not expected that. Khanyi had turned from being seductress praying mantis to friend giving marital advise. What game was she on now? I nodded in agreement and told her that it was my intention.
“So what are you going to do about your marriage?”
She asked me candidly and truthfully I told her,
“I don’t know!”
I won’t lie lunch was a blurr because I was thinking of what I was going to do next. It’s not easy. I had to go home and face my demon. An elephants tusks are never to heavy for it right. I asked Khanyi to please drop me at home but promised her I will be back. She was very reluctant and all the way home she begged me to reconsider saying that Asthandile was not normal and only an idiot who touch that woman with a pole. Maybe she was right but I had to go make it clear that I would never run away from my home like this. Khanyi asked me if I would rather be dropped off at the corner because she did not want Asthandile to know where I had slept. I agreed because she was actually right. This would only pour fuel to the fire. She dropped me up the road and I walked down the road slowly.
When I got into the house Asthandile was sitting in her morning gown eating yoghurt and biscuits. She loved crushing Marie biscuits into yhogurt and then eating them together. It had never caught on. It was surprising to think that this was the same woman who could be so vicious and so cruel. I stood in the doorway and looked at her for a while. This was my wife, my better or worse and through thick and thin. I remembered those vows so well when I walked in. The door was not locked so I open the door which made her turn and immediately she ran up to me and hugged me crying,
“Mxolisi where have you been, I have been so worried!”
I said nothing but I don’t think it would have mattered because she was still talking,
“I know we have our fights but disappearing like that my husband. I called your phone until I turned blue. Why did you not get back to me? What did I do to deserve this?”
She was right. I had been harsh. I opened my mouth to respond then she put her finger on my lips,
“It’s ok. I don’t care where you were! You were mourning about your friend. I understand. I am sorry. I am just glad that you are home!”
This is when I got my chance to sit down and I asked her to sit down.
“Asthandile, tomorrow I am going to see my lawyer and I am going to ask them to serve you papers,”
I said in a calm and very steady voice.
“Papers? Papers for what?”
She asked me confused.
“We can’t hurting each other like this. These are divorce papers!”
I said without changing my sombre tone. I took off my ring one last time and for some reason now that I was doing it in front of her it felt heavy. It’s like it did not want to get off but I got the job done. I stood up leaving her there but before I got to the stairs I heard her stand too and in what was more like a hiss than a tone she said with bated teeth,
“Over my dead body Mxolisi!”
“I won’t sign them and I will never divorce you!”
She said defiantly!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I am a 14 year old girl and very much enjoy your books.
My problem is at home. My parents divorced last year around August. From what I understand my mother was violent and always picked fights with my father. She once hit him with a broom and it broke. I witnessed her several times kick and slap my father on different occasions but he always backed off. My father is bigger than my mother but he always resisted hitting her or something. One day I think he had had enough he fought back and beat her up properly. She had him arrested but even when we told the police what was really happening at home they said a man should not hit a woman. I was told I was too young to testify such but it’s the truth my mother was the abusive one. I live with my mother now because of school but since October she has brought home four different men to sleep with her. One of them is married to a police woman in our neighbourhood and I want to go and tell her what her husband is doing with my mother. I am so scared of my mother but I also hate her for what she has done and is doing. My father is still fighting for my custody but the fact that he hit my mother that once means his case is slim at best.
I am already seeing a social worker in private through my school but I still feel like I can do more.
Thank you Sir