I am not a bad guy. I am not looking to find more evidence that my wife was evil but all this stuff was literally falling on my lap. I doubt very much though that she had expected that to come out but in her desperation those words had slipped out. Now that it was out in the open she realized it and tried to act cool about it. How though? What would you do if you know your wife was so bad already and worse was out there. I froze. This person was not the woman I thought I had married. Much as I was curious to know a huge part of me said walk away from this. She would just lie anyway. It’s like we both paused at the same time because she too stopped everything she was doing. I think she thought I would hit her because she moved backwards. I was not sure what to do or say because I was not even sure what had just happened.
“Asthandile what am I going to find out that you don’t want me to know?”
I asked her when I finally got my words. She said it was nothing I can call her if I like since I was hell bent on making her look guilty. That’s what I expected. When you confront someone and they know they will lose they argue that yoou already have the answer in your head.
“Asthandile I am not going to beg you to tell me but if I find out myself I will divorce you on the spot. That much I will guarantee you!”
I think it was my tone that made her realize that I was not bluffing. She immediately jumped up and came to me and said,
“Mxolisi please, I beg you! Let this go. It’s not worth it. We have enough problems of our own to add to them would be courting disaster!”
I can assure you most people will assume that this will only make me want to know more what was going on but she had a point. This would be a disaster. It’s one thing to think you want a divorce but to actually go through it is quite another. Getting a divorce is emotionally exhausting and many don’t know this, very expensive. It was time to walk away. I needed a new apartment where I could just run away to. I will leave her in the house alone for a month or two so that she could see what she was losing. This evening I was going to just walk out of my marriage, drive out and never come back. The next time she will see me would be in court. I had already moved the rest of our finances around. In my plan in a week she would be penniless and she was going to need me. That’s what she forgot. It was not just about the love I had given her but also the financial support. Women take it for granted that just because I earn more than you does not mean I did not work for it. Yes in marriage the money is meant to benefit us both but at the end of the day, when SARS comes to tax someone, it’s me the legal and true owner of it. It’s as simple as ABC.
“I am not going to call her. I don’t want to know.”
I said calmly leaving the room. This surprised her and she came to me and said she was sorry. She just did not want to fight anymore. I just looked at her and shook my head. She had no idea what was about to come next.
“I know I have wronged you in so many ways. I am willing to overlook what happened with Lindiwe. I don’t mind. I will do whatever you want. We can go for therapy. I can go to my parents even if you want space. Please all I am asking for is that we stick together and work through it!”
She cried. She actually went on her knees and was crying,
“Remember that through thick and thin we were told in our vows. This is the thin. Please Mxolisi you know you mean everything. I will never leave the house again. You can take my phone and keep it even. I will just be your wife. I can send Zimasa back home for it to be just us. I can do that. Just don’t leave me please!”
She begged. We were standing outside the main bedroom door by the stairs leading to the lounge. I was not sure where this sudden burst of emotion had come from. My mind was made up. I told her to let go of me and I left.
When I got downstairs my phone was ringing. Asthandile had actually followed me downstairs. I don’t know what more she expected me to say to her because I was done with this conversation. I took my phone. It was Dalu. I rejected his first call, his second and only when he called the third time in a row did I pick up. When someone rejects your call twice it means they are busy. I know what he wanted. He wanted to see if I had not killed my wife and vice versa. I know he was concerned but really he must chill I will tell him when I am ready.
“Dalu I am still a bit busy right now!”
I said coldly. Dalu was the type to start talking as soon as you picked up but this time he did not. After five seconds he said,
“I take it you have not heard…”
sounding a bit sombre. What now? I had too much to deal with right now.
“Lindiwe had an accident on the way back from the braai!”
He said. My first thought was, my baby! Had she lost my baby! I asked Dallu that.
“Yes Mxolisi she lost the baby!”
He said. It felt as though someone had sucked the air out of my stomach! I really was cursed by these so called ancestors! I couldn’t even scream out.
“There is more Mxolisi…”
Dalu said almost in a whisper. I was listening,
“She is dead Mxolisi. Lindiwe is dead!”
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
thank you so much for this blog..we really do learn a lot here.
I’m a 24 year old unemployed graduate with Diploma In Food And Beverage Management. I chose this career because of the love and passion I have for it but ke unfortunately I am unable to find a job even when I do meet the requirements now the problem is the pressure I’m getting at home my mom is not supportive at all don’t get me wrong I’m not bad mouthing her but she will always tell me dat if I did teaching or social work like she told me to, I wouldn’t be sitting at home like this it hurts me so much coz I know I wouldn’t have enjoyed those courses because I did not like them and now to make matters worse iv got a younger sister who is working and now my mother actually worships her because she brings in something at home and this hurts me so much because I’m treated like an outsider.
Please help me fellow brothers and sisters with anything that you might hear I’m from Durban and really don’t mind relocating,I need a breakthrough in my life I’m always Hoping that each year will be different please help me guys.