Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Fifteen

Lindiwe? There had to be some mistake! In all that commotion I had not seen her leave. I had not seen her go. She must have slipped out when Dalu and I were too busy watching the fight. Had she? This was not correct. I asked Dalu again if he was sure and he said that the police had called him because when she came she had come from Upper Alma, my street but that road I blocked by the railway line so she had called to say she was a bit lost how does she get back to lower Alma from there. He was therefore the last number she called hence they called him. He was not lying though. He was not lying. My knees could not carry me. I felt myself sinking to the floor. What the hell was this? Was this some joke. I thought back again to the last moments I saw her, my wife had just shocked her by saying she knew about the pregnancy, after that I could not remember anything else. O God no, my baby, my baby was dead. I was never going to know whether it was a boy or girl even. My luck also.

Asthandile came and asked me what’s wrong. Like she cared anyway. I hated this woman more and more by the day.
“You did this!”
I pointed a finger at her angrily.
“You did this! I hope you burn in hell!”
She was very surprised by it all and probably confused.
“What have I done this time? Did you phone Khanyi?”
She asked then put her mouth on her hands. She was still worried about the secrets Khanyi was carrying. What the hell was wrong with this woman.
“What ever she told you she is lying! I am going to sue her for defamation! I did not do it!”

She said again before I even answered. I did not care. I wanted her to tell me why my baby was dead. I stood up to go outside. I wanted some air. I needed some air.
“Did you know that Lindiwe had a 4year old son or daughter, I can’t quite recall?”

I asked her!

“Why are you asking me about her? Did she dump you? Is that it? Is that why you are telling me to burn in hell? Are u serious right now?”

She asked me coming to confront me. She loses her temper quickly this one.

“She is dead Asthandile. She is dead.”

That stopped her in her tracks and I mean this literarily. She actually stopped in mid stride and stepped back.

“What do you mean she is dead? She was just here!”

I had tears in my eyes.

“You killed my child!”

I said and this time walked outside! I did not want to be near this cursed woman. I hated her.

When I got to the gate I bumped into the girls. They had missed out on all the action. Ezile seemed to have calmed down now. She had gone back to that shy girl all in the space of two or three hours.

“Is everyone here?”

Zimasa asked me as soon as she saw me. I was hurting. I opened my mouth to speak but I choked.
“Everyone left!l
I said when I finally managed to speak. I walked past them and just started walking. I walked towards Mowbray, passed it and ended up in Observatory then lower Main where there have this arty bars and restaurants. I was hungry but I had no appetite. I sat down in one of the bars and ordered a drink. I needed something to get my mind working again and off thinking of this but it was not working. One drink became five and five became ten until the bar man serving me said that he was cutting me off because there was no way I would be able to walk home. I took out my phone and called the only person at that moment I could think off, Dalu. He did not pick up. I really did not want to go home to Asthandile. I found myself calling Khanyi. I told her where I was and to come get me. She sounded surprised that I would call her but also happy.

It took her 45min to get to me. Thank God she had her wallet because it was only then I realised that I had no wallet. She paid my bill and we got into her car. Ten minutes later I asked her to stop the car, right there on the highway and I threw up. Shameful waste of alcohol. She was patient with me, gave me some water she had to clean up and took me to her place. Note I did not ask her to take me to her house, she just did.

When we entered her place I noticed that it was not the same place wwe had come when she was raped. She had moved. Now she moved in her security high fence wall. I was too drunk though to ask but I remember thinking, should our woman really live in fear and cages everyday because us their men want to rape them? No one is safe, it is the saddest thing really… then I passed out.

I woke up about five hours later. I was on a bed and my shoes were off. I had not thrown up again but the hangover I had was on some other level. Nothing beats an afternoon hangover. I raised my head and it felt like someone was hitting it with a hammer. Serves me right.

“Are you ok?”

Someone said from behind me. I had not seen her. She was sitting on a lazy boy behind me. She had a book and a glass of wine, how ironic in front of her.

“Why did you allow me to sleep so long?”

I asked her. She said something about me needing the rest. I know why I slept so long, the previous night is when I had spent time with Ezile and Zimasa so we hardly slept. It was not just the alcohol. Thank God tomorrow was Sunday.

“I was not sure what to cook for you but you must eat something. I hope you don’t mind but I took off your shirt and washed it for you because you messed it up. My washing machine is not connected yet so washedd it by hand.”

She said calmly. Did she just say she washed my vomit? At this stage in our marriage I think Asthandile would have said go jump in the pool or used a hosepipe on me.

Then I remembered, Mxolisi focus, Khanyi is the enemy here. I must not trust her.

“I came here to ask you about something. I want the truth.”

She looked at me a bit confused but she said she will try and be honest,

“What is Asthandile hiding from me? I am tired of the lies please be merciful and tell me so we stop all the secrets!”

She looked at me straight in the eye and without hesitation said,

“No! I will never betray the confidence of a friend whether or not we have fallen out!”

Now what!

***** The End******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Friends.

Today I write a letter to myself. Last night I got the news that the little girl Nokukhanya had been found dead, raped, hung first, mutilated then thrown in the bush. She was 15 years old. Please take a moment to picture what they did to her to fully understand my anger, sadness and frustration for the pour young soul.

Every few weeks we hear horrific stories about what South African men especially are doing to our sisters, mothers, daughters, friends and neighbours. Why are we so vicious and cruel to one another? Why do we do this? I was so hurt because although I never met this young girl but the thought of grown men doing this to her really broke my heart. Are we not better than the animals we keep in the reserves? Are we not civilised enough to know that we only harm ourselves when we do these things. I am so scared for every female because living the house means you might not come back in the evening because someone somewhere decided that you will be his wife for the moment. A lot of people of comment that “at least they didn’t kill her!” when it comes to a rape victim. No my friends, they killed her the moment they held her down, beat her up and ripped off her clothes! We have become so used to rape that now we say “at least”. We all get angry in the moment of the story but once the news reporters move on to the next story we move on too.

I need your help good people. The greatest evil in this country is us because we stand and do nothing. Absolutely nothing. I don’t want to feel this helpless ever again. The help I seek is for you guys to give me and indeed all of us reading this, ideas of what we can do to fight this viciousness off. Whether we form an NGO, make an APP or what I don’t know please advise me.

What I do know is that I don’t want you to live in fear, my future daughter to live in fear and everyone else I know to suffer like this.

Thank You

Mike Maphoto

PS. I have one idea where I want to get SA Artists to sing a “we are the world” kind of song but I am not a songwriter. This will spread awareness, raise funds for programs etc. I have artists I can talk to but I don’t write music. If someone here knows someone who can is willing to help then that could be an idea. We need to stop this and fight this head on.


56 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Fifteen

  1. thank u mike ash this is sad indeed such a beautiful young lady with a promising future gone too soon.indeed humans have become these wild animals with no NGO will be a great , I think it would help a lot of pple…you know just da other day her brother posted her pic asked us to help n this lady make this stupid uncalled for comment saying ” no shez WD her bf she’s going to come back” how cruel can I be?? this is painful indeed.

  2. I shed a tear for her even though I do not know her because that could have been my child. The fear she must have felt, the pain she went through… Something is seriously wrong with the human race. What have we turned into? May her soul rest in eternal peace#RIPNokukhanya#Crymybelovedcountry

  3. yoooo, rip nokukhanya. Why are people this vicious, why does a normal person want to inflict pain on another, how does doing such give people some inner peace.. or are we at such a point that we just don’t care anymore. this is sad, we really are not guaranteed a come bek home in d evening everyday when we leave home in d mornings, not fair, really not. why are you murderers, rapists, thieves doing this, why????

  4. Thank u Mike and Thozama for good stories, much appreciated. I’m also sad about this sort of crime againts women and children. Something seriously needs to be done about it and its up to us to take a firm stand againts this inhumane behaviour. May her soul rest in peace and condolenses to the family.

  5. Goodness Mike, wasn’t she on her way to church.. This country we live in. I’m deeply saddened by these news. It was last week when I read about her story and realised how little attention was being given to missing children, its not even on tv anymore like it used to back in the day.

    Condolences to her family and friends. My her young soul RIP.

    These animals deserve the worst punishment available, who are they to decide a child’s fate, with such horrible actions. I pray they die a painful and long cold death, bastards.

  6. Hi Mike.

    Finally a true man stand up against this horrendous and barbaric act. At this point, I don’t know what to call it because it would be an insult to animals as you mentioned.

    My little sister was raped, she wasn’t killed but to this day I have never got over it.

    I am man today and married, but i am so scared for every women out there every time.
    I know the constitution has abolished the death sentence, but I dare to ask not only the people in this forum but the government isnt it time we as south africans review this and take a step back. My littler sister is a smart girl she was alive and always bubbly, she was the alive compared to what she is today.

    As a man I have spent a lot of money not only for her but for me on the shrinks. I cant imagine for those who cannot afford it. As I man I am standing up and I am declaring that I will stand up with sir and I will fight for our women wherever they are until this is fixed.

    There are a lot of awareness, we have a lot of support groups, like sonke gender justice, Brothers for life ETC. All these organisation makes awareness’s, they talk against this and they help anyone who wants help. At this point I think its time we let our government that this is it. We have had enough, I certainly have had enough. We cant do the same thing and expect different result, (this is a classic definition of insanity) we need to change things

    As I am writing this it hurts, I am crying. Mike its time the constitution be reviewed if need be.

  7. Sad indeed. RIP Nokukhanya! Lefatshe le re phelang month lona ga le safe for any1. I really hate living in fear. We really need to do sumthing. We r not safe even le ka high walls.

  8. Sick sick sick society we live in. Men are suppose to protect women and children, not harm them. RIP Nokukhanya, you did not deserve to die in such a cruel manner. God be with her family. Thank you for your intervention Mike, we really need to fight this, I am with you there.

  9. This is so sad may her young soul rest in perfect peace. I think it time dead sentence come back to SA. Like really now these rapist deserve nothing but tortured till they die. May all those heartless men out there be serve as lunch in hell

  10. Mxo is such a weak man. I love reading this story but his lack of taking control is really annoying and so unsexy. I say he deserves all that is happening to him. Great work Mike.

  11. Mike thanks for the read.

    This story is very touching,I haven’t been raped but I have close friends who have suffered this action and once it almost happened to me. From my experience I felt powerless and I can only begin to imagine what nokukhanya went through especially since she was a defenceless child.

    I believe unless we all stand together and force the government to enforce harsher punishment on perpertrators, these people will get away scorch free. A human being who takes away another human beings right to choice and life isn’t a human being and should therefore be treated as such. These bastards should be made eunichs

  12. RIP Nokukhanya and condolences to her family. A young girl just going to church. I believe South Africa doesn’t give attention to missing children, there are no broadcasts, no radio broadcasts, nothing in the papers. This young lady had been missing for a while, but nothing was done. The people who most likely saw her that day, probably don’t have social networks!

    Its becoming scary to live in this country. Part of you won’t know if you’ll make it home. Let’s put a stop to this madness

  13. RIP Nokukhanya n condolences 2 family am so deeply touch n even crying when i read this story. Indeed mr Mikey am with u on that. The basted must burn in hell mxm

  14. May her soul Rest In Peace,Mike thank you for taking this matter so serious.We woman live in fear,scared of being raped,killed,bitten by our very own brothers.its a very cruel we live in.please what you decide to do,do fill me in.I want to try and save us.

  15. I feel so sad and angry @d same time. We are not safe in our own country,th very same people who are suppose to protect us are the ones abusing us. Mxm I’m beyond pissed, my friend was raped n killed nd nothing was done. But when t comes to foreigners th police nd th community are very quick to beat/kill them 4not being a SAfrican.

  16. I have been following her story since I saw a post on facebook, i have been sharing the posts hoping to make a difference though I am in cape town. for some reason her story touched me so much that I felt connected to her. When I saw a post from her aunt yesterday that she was found I cried myself to sleep I couldn’t begin to imagine what the family is feeling. May her soul rest in peace

  17. I think NG0 will do,I’m soo sad nd angry nd if ever they find the person who did this I will be soo happy 2 cut his dick nd burn him,may her soul RIP

  18. Yızwa umthandazo wethu, uze usehlele. Deeply touched and moved. I have been raped myself and ngısaba ukuhamba ngedwa up to thıs day. My soul pours out for hıs famıly.

  19. Thanks Mike. This Mxolisi character should please grow a pair of them, start making decisions for himself and not have to call on the likes of Khanyi and Asthandile. You’re on your own broe – wake up and smell the coffee.
    To todays’ message: what is happening to our children (both boys and girls), to us females is beyond sad and cruel. Indeed the Constitution needs to be revised, and the govt must bring back the death penalty for all crimes against women and children, for murders and hijackings and start killing the ones in jail – whom we support with our taxes yet they are there coz they created such crimes against us. It’s ironic hey, ngondla izigebengu every day yet I live in fear everyday. I don’t know whether it’s in my hometown or not – but these beggars / street kids have just become as dangerous. They rob and rape women going to work early in the mornings or rob them in the evenings. Even walking to work in town is dangerous. Perhaps the govt should give out a tender to ‘take care’ of all these street kids (street men) – I would gladly do it for free, not expect any payment in return. The govt was supposed to act when ‘Baby Tsepang – 6/7 month old baby girl raped by all those men’ somewhere in the Northern Cape (I stand to be corrected there) – but the govt should have killed those men, no arresting, no bail – nothing – just pure slow death for the whole nation to see.

  20. I am saddened by these news, may her soul rest in peace. Is this the freedom that our fallen heroes fought for? We will never be free until the law is upheld in this country and anyone who dares break it is punished severely, this is very close to my heart as I have a colleague who was mugged and beaten up on her way from viewing a house she wanted to buy, men have turned into animals and our government turns a blind eye, this has to stop, Mike I am with you and will support you anyway possible.

    This is not the freedom otatuMandela fought for

  21. myb saying this out will heal me too

    i got a job in the year 2013 in another area of which i didn’t not know anyone but i manged to get accommodation through the help of my pastor. i started working and it was realy nice i was having a days wher in i was asleep in my room a guy broke in demanded cash i gave him then i was raped he then stabbed me 5 times with a knife and run away it was through the grace of God that i survived but leaving with it is hell i never even speak about it the case was reported and the guy is NT found till now

    so yeah mike NGO wil do i know how it feels to be in that situation can even be part of it even with nothing in return

    may her soul rest in peace

  22. What a tragic incident , the poor child dsnt deserve this nor any women out there, how could someone be cruel like that? Having the guts to molest a young girl like that n more ‘Kill’ her , my heart is bleeding and am now more afraid than ever for women like us I can’t even begin to describe it.they should find the bustard/s who did that and he should be punished. Rest in peace Nokukhanya

  23. I can’t believe they did to her, I am I tears Mike, indeed we need to create awareness, I Dnt knw hw many ppl r trying bt it’s too much, that’s y it’s a wonder my folks r really protective, my dad sees cases like this almost everyday. South Africa needs prayers as well I pray everyday for SA, thus cannot be life

  24. It so sad really to loose such a beautiful young soul with such cruelty . We live in a world where demons live among us cause really a real human being is not capable of doing such EVIL things , we really need prayers we need our leaders and churches to combine to pray for our country! I’m so sad and scared. May her young soul rest in peace

  25. I do not know what to say to describe my anger about all of this may she rest in peace and my prayers are with her family at this moment,a harsh penalty needs to be given to this criminals a painful slow death mxm

  26. It’s really sad Mike. And to think the poor soul was just out going to church, it’s heartbreaking. #RIPNokukhanya!

  27. Mike this is toooo painful,I can’t imagine what this poor child went through, the fear in her eyes,her pleadding wt these animals,her praying,her scream for help,hoping that someone will come safe her life but for her it was the end of her beautiful life. We are not fighting against humans here,this is lucifar we are against. Mike let’s arrange a big prayer meeting,to ask God to intervine,let’s start a petition that will go around the country to bring back death penalty & arrange a match against crime and these barbaric acts and hand over de petition to de government! This needs to stop,when will we stop with the ‘talk shows’ and take action! Will we continue to say RIP to our sisters,mothers,friends & even our brothers,husbands & fathers will not taking action. I am hurt,sad,angry,devastated but more willing to roll up me slives & say ‘kwanele,gontse,enough is enough’….may our Lord guide & protect us as we continue wt this battle against satan*crying*

  28. Thanx for the read Mike. To the story of Nokukhanya my deepest condolences to her family. Wgat jappened yo her really is such a sad thing. I fear for my 6months old daughter, where is she gonna grow up and how is she gonna enjoy her childhood if I am the father that has to worry every second abt here wherabouts. I am so angry and saddest at the same time athow much of a dangerous sspecies the human kind is becoming. I say we approach the SABC and c if maybe they cant help in anyways to raise awarenes. Maybe we could even get the local artists “Celebrities” and the underground artists to write a song abt this tragedy. Lets unite, hold hands and do posts and have awareness campaigns. Approach radio stations and every media platform we can think of i’m talking the news papers as well. Create a FB/MXIT/Whatsapp group camlaign and spread the work. I’m willing to be an ambassador.

  29. Rest in peace Khanyo your spirits lives on such a young and bubbly intelligent girl,I’m scared to even go to the shop in my own neighborhood cause these scumbags are still out there and the sad part is people are talking but nothing is gonna be done.ku worse Mike cause when she was kidnapped bebethi uye ka boyfriend nje lowo siphila eskhathini esinzima impela ngeke ngisho ngithi ngisaba Makhutha I grew up here ngisaba abantu nje as a whole

  30. Mike, what a painful sad story, may her dear soul rest in peace. I will support whatever initiative we come up with as the diary family. We must advocate for a death penalty. This is beyond any comprehension. If it means we throw in a few pennies let’s do that and stop these evil people in our society. May God comfort her family. No words really my heart is torn to pieces.

  31. mike thanx for the lovely chapter and as for the issue of the poor child who has died so young yoh just reading what you wrote made me feel distraught and helpless, it is so sad that the very same people who partake in the activity of bringing precious souls in the world also have the nerve to destroy their own off-springs…im deeply saddened by all of this cruelty, i am a young woman who would also love to have kids one day but seeing and hearing these horrible stories is so disturbing hay, no parent wants to grow through such i dont wish it on anyone and jap you are correct hay we need serious intervention because this is destroying our nation and also destroying our freedom as women because we dont feel safe at the hands of the people who are meant to protect us…may her soul rest in peace and dudu to her family…..

  32. Thats so sad, they cruel and evil monster out there, i wish a force can just cum and destroy al the murderers and rapist.

  33. The sad part is we only wait for something this bad to happen then we talk about doing something…one week down the line we act as if nothing happend ..until something happens again .. R.I.P baby girl.
    U left this world while you were on your way to praise your God
    blessed child of God

  34. Great job Mike , my heart bleeds for this little girl, no one deserves to die like that. May she rest in peace and may her family and loved ones ve comforted by The Lord. It’s heartbreaking indeed

  35. May her precious soul rest in peace. I’m so hurt as this happens every day but the perpetrators walk free.

  36. Nokhukhanya Rest in peace my Baby, My sincere condolence to the family and MUM
    The bastards killed an innocent child , they deserve to be tortured first before they are hanged , Bring them to Bechuanaland we will sort them, they don’t deserve to be called Human,
    kante what happened to our brothers, uncles, Fathers, My God they are supposed to be Protecting Us for crying out loud


  37. Noooooooo!!!! How can human beings be so CRUEL bathong,I have never felt so sad, disgusted, hopeless, empty…

  38. I want to be part of this organization that will bring change to South Africa and protect us as woman if u can please Contact me on 0799231682 I believe an NGO would be much better than a blog because people (rape victims) will even have a place to go to when they need to talk. We will be helping our selves, an app will follow after we have registered the NGO please sisters let’s move fast before rape and violance take over. Together we can stop this evil.

  39. Lo mhlaba usuhlulekile ingabe niyawubona na… hw can a human being be ths cruel, she’s only 15 for goodness sake …may ur Gud soul rest in peace

  40. Oh my my I have never been so hurt in my life. i am speechless, sad and disappointed. we women we have lost this battle may be just may be if men can rise and stand for us. this month a man shot and killed his newly wed wife because of a whatsapp msg. you ask yrself who gives men the right that they own women they can just kill them as they like.

  41. Thank you Team Mike..May her soul RIP.I’m so sad,she’s a year younger than my daughter.May the Good Lord protect our kids and women at large!

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