What are the chances of a husband and wife sitting at the breakfast table and one says “I want a divorce” and the other says “Okay, let’s do it!” those chances are slim to none. First comes the tears then the anger then the denial that this is actually happening then to that person who the divorce has been asked of, that overwhelming feeling of failure. Yes it comes across as you failed on that one very simple and basic thing that is called to love another person and make them love you back. They do say to love another person is to see the face of God and if that’s true then your face clearly is that of the devil since he did not even see it. Note I said he because when a man asks for divorce especially in African culture it really is a slap on the face. It’s a statement like no other and getting back up from that insult is often easier said than done. With divorce usually, one person will initiate and the other will resist, simple mathematics I suppose hence I was not the least bit surprised that Asthandile would fight back. Her cash cow was gone but this was not even about money. She was not the girl I thought I met in high school, loved so much that one day I married her. No, she was evil, manipulative and downright dangerous. I had reached a point were I was scared to sleep in my home because she could burn in my home.
“Mxolisi stop let’s talk about this please! Ndiyaxolisa, mna nomyeni wam wam sizokwenza yonke into osicelayo uba masiyenze”
I cannot remember the last time my wife called me her husband but in short she had just asked me not leave her. I stopped at the stairs for a brief moment and I walked up the stairs. She sat there crying on the stairs. I expected her to go through a few phases but I did not care. I walked upstairs, took a small bag and started packing. I needed clothes more than anything. I hate shopping. I packed as much as I could then I looked at my bed one last time. Her side, the one that had been slept in was still undone. My side was neatly done. As no one had slept in it. I was about to walk out of the bedroom when Zimasa walked in and said,
“We missed you yesterday. Sisi Thandi cried all night and Ezile and I had to watch over her. Is everything alright?”
She asked me then she came from behind me and saw the bag.
“Where are you going?”
She asked me. I did not have words for her. She was just a child and she would never understand.
“It’s not my place but please do not do this. Please I am begging you. She is not a bad person she just needs your attention!”
She begged me on behalf of Asthandile. Maybe she was right maybe she was wrong but the fact remained, I was done. I walked past year without shame or sorrow then I stopped,
“I will send you my forwarding details,”
And went out. She was crying too. Divorce hurts so many people but I was not looking back. When I got to the bottom of the stairs I remember I had one question to ask Asthandile,
“How did you know about Lindiwe and me?”
She did not look up and I actually thought she would ignore but she whispered,
“You forget when you were in Pretoria my sister came too see you! I have always known about your other women Mxolisi, I am not a fool. I don’t get how you get to walk out of our marriage for me committing the same crime I did I really don’t. We can work this through!”
Well said but it was done. I walked out of the house, into my car and I drove out. I was not going to Khanyi’s house, I had decided on a longer trip.
I was on my way home to Mdantsane! I wanted time away from everything but I also wanted to make sure that where ever Lindiwe was to be buried I was going to be there. It’s so weird that much as I never fell in love with her or anything funny like that I could not help but wonder what could have been. For one we were having a baby together something which I cherish very much. I don’t believe in fatherless kids and much as Lindiwe had said I could choose not to play a part in her life that was never ever going to happen.
I had two missions for Mdantsane, one, I was going to see my parents and tell them I was leaving Asthandile then secondly, the tricky one, I was going to tell her obnoxious parents that I was bringing back their daughter where I found her. This time they can find her the rich husband they had always wanted for her.
I had driven for about two hours when I realized that this woman never loved me. We did not have many happy moments actually in this marriage. Yes before all this we hardly fought but I can’t truly say without conviction that we were happy. Content yes but happy I strongly doubted. The thought just made me feel stupid really. My phone was connected to to the car so when Dalu phoned it stopped the music that was playing. I answered and he said,
“How are you holding up?”
I told him I was fine as can be expected but was driving to Mdantsane. I explained to him that things were just not good I needed to breathe. I also told him that I had told Asthandile that I was going to divorce her. He listened attentively as though he understood where I was coming from which is why he caught me by surprise when he said,
“You have to turn back immediately because it is going to look suspicious?”
What the hell was he talking about now? I was confused as I think I have always been!
“What is going to look suspicious?”
Dalu kept quite for a moment.
“We pulled strings with the police and Andre was allowed to do a quick look over of the car. Someone cut Lindiwe’s brakes. When police figure this out they will look at her last movements!”
No this was a joke come on now. It can’t be…
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
I am a 21 year old female and for the past 3 years I was in a relationship with my high school sweetheart. that relationship was so wonderful during our first 18 months but after that when he went to university, he changed and would break up with me over very small and insignificant issues like me asking him why he keeps on breaking up with him or him being angry at me for not replying his text within 10 minutes of receiving it. He broke up with me more times than i can remember and each time i would go on my knees begging him to stay with me. I eventually went to the same university with him but things were never the same again and i suspect that during the time he kept breaking up with me, he was cheating. i have no proof though. now last month i noticed that i do not have feelings for him anymore because of what had happened and i broke u with him. since then he keeps on begging me to stay and going on his knees asking me to get back together with him. i don’t think i love him anymore but it saddens me to see him reduced to this state. does this person really love me or he just wants me to take him back? would this relationship ever work? Please help me…
Hurt and Confused