Rumblings – Chapter Seven

Posted on Posted in Rumblings Of A Jilted Baby Mama!

There are very few women who will tell you that they love pregnancy. If they do then I am calling them right now to say they are liars. There are those who are brave enough to say what if God is a woman? Really? As a woman the things you go through at times you can never wish on another human. Period pains are the worst creation ever made and it is us women that carry that burden and I must say this pain I was feeling makes me miss them! Pregnancy though with a beautiful result is often a nightmare. Already I had had bouts of swollen feet, itchy nipples, morning sickness you name it. It’s like everything negative associated with pregnancy I had been cursed with. This was just the latest thing. It was very much a difficult pregnancy. I sat on the bed then on the floor because that is how painful it was. One part of me was telling me that I want this thing out of me just to alleviate the pain whilst another part was saying no, it’s too soon! At this stage I Wass crying and whilst I was not exactly screaming the moaning and groaning I was making made it sound similar. Mudenda was in panic mode!


There are some truths we try and avoid and one of this is that our men are often not “man enough”! It’s a difficult concept to grasp but most females get it. Mudenda was not sure what to do and all he kept on asking me was if I was ok and what he must do. Physically Mudenda was not strong enough to pick me up. This means simply he could not lift me up and carry me to the car. That thought kills me because I was in so much pain. We decided that he should drive me to the hospital as it was not far. He pulled me up and in that pain I walked to the car. When we got outside his neighbor, a white guy was walking out and he saw us. We had never spoken to us before. He asked what was wrong but he concluded very quickly that I was the sick one. He offered us help of which as soon as we said yes help was needed he lifted me up and asked Mudenda where his car was. Yah neh. Mudenda watched another man lift me up and carry me to his car. He said unfortunately he was in a rush somewhere otherwise he would have come with us. Fair enough. Eventually we were on our way. It’s funny how things work but as we got to the hospital the pain started subsidising. It was still painful but now I could at least sit up with no help. When we got there there were two male nurses outside and he asked them for help. One of them ran and got us a wheel chair whilst the other started attending to me by the car. I was on medical aid. I must emphasise that this is probably one of the most important things in your life because without it I would be sitting in a long queue at a government facility in all this pain.


A doctor came to see me and I was taken into a private room to be examined. It took about thirty minutes for the doctor to say,

“Ma’am I am not sure about the source of your pain but from my initial scans I don’t see anything wrong physically with you and the baby for that matter!”


He said. With the pain I had just experienced this man had got to be kidding me. It’s not a black thing to ask for a second opinion because simply speaking we cannot afford the extra costs.


“Doctor, the pain I felt was the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life and even now the spot is still tender and painful.”


He said he believed me and his diagnosis was probably stress induced. He could see the look on my face was one of confusion because for a black person especially, stress is not painful, it can cause a headache every now and again but the extant of what stress means to us. He gave me painkillers for the pain but recommended that I stay in hospital one night so that he could be thorough and monitor me. He warned me that stress can even cause the onset of a heart attack or panick attacks masked as one so I should be very careful for now onwards for the sake of the baby. He asked me why I was not happy because this was a false alarm and my baby was perfectly fine. It was easier said than done. When you are dating a black man stress is something that comes naturally and within the territory.


Mudenda eventually came in. He had not been in the examining room himself.


“Did we lose the baby?”


Was the first thing he asked. I am sorry but to me that was both insensitive and cold because why could he not have asked me “is the baby fine!” I did not say anything though because what I had just gone through but I told him not to worry he was still going to be a daddy. I tried not look at his face because I was worried that if I saw disappointment I would have another panic attack or whatever the doctor had called it. He came and he hugged me and told me how sorry he was for earlier on and that he was wrong. I told him it was ok and told him to take my phone and track that guy down so that he can know that it was a lie and whatever he had been thinking was wrong. That was the level of my confidence even though I knew it would never match the depth of his pride. He would never do it.


I was admitted. I sent my mother a message after I tried to call her but she had not picked up.


“I am in hospital. I almost lost the baby but I am fine. They say that I need to be monitored.”


She did not reply so I fell asleep at some point after Mudenda had left. When I woke up it was already evening. I had a text from my mom and this was the first time in three months. It read,


“It’s your baby! I told you not get pregnant and you did not listen! Good luck!”


I kid you not!


*****The End*****




Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)


Dear Mike

I am certain you get this all the time but you are a remarkable writer. Thank you for sharing this gift.


My problem: I am a widowed woman and am 29 with two kids from my husband. We were married for five years. When he died two other kids crawled out of the woodwork. Both give or take the same age as my kids but with different mothers. I will call the mother Lerato and Buhle. Lerato and I sat down and we discussed. We are working well together and money from his estate is being shared with her the same as my kids. Buhle however has taken me to court and so on demanding more and it seems my husbands family supports her. They accuse me of killing their son because when he died I was driving. We were hit by another car of which the other driver was even arrested for being drunk. They have cut off my two kids and myself from that family. This is giving Buhle more and more courage. She calls at night to harrass me and calls me a murderer. She went to my church and called me a witch in front of my pastors. I went to get a protection order but the woman is relentless. I am now the victim of my husbands infidelity and I am dying inside.


Please help


Palesa M.

28 thoughts on “Rumblings – Chapter Seven

  1. Eish! Akaxoli lomama.

    A2Q uxolo sisi 4 what ur going thru. It is hard. File harassment & defarmation charges against Buhle Dear, u don’t hv anything 2 lose. As 4 that family, stay away from them 4 yo own sanity, hoping yo kids benzelwe amasiko, then u won’t need them. Forgive them and move on, they will be the ones coming back 2 u.

    1. Dear Palesa

      Ask the lady for a paternity test, usually the tjatjarag ones have something to hide. Don’t worry abt the court case the court will put the best interest of all the children forward hers won’t get special treatment.
      In the meantime consider getting a restraining order against her.

  2. Thanks Mike.
    A to Q: so sorry to hear of your loss and pain and at such a young age. Don’t let Buhle get to you, I know it’s easier sad than done; but she will get what’s coming to her, umhlaba lo!! The wheel keeps turning. Just pray to God to help and protect you and the kids. As for your husband’s family – just forget about them, what they are doing is not new and is expected.

  3. @ Nkuli that’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard in my life… Its your problem,but u do need support from an elderly person… Wait till u have a kid uzobona. Ur comment is just childish!!

    1. Haikhona dear. Some girls need to be taught a lesson. You don’t just go around opening your legs without thinking of the consequences, more especially when you are still fully dependent on your parents. Fortunately for me, I’ve passed that stage in my life and my parents will gladly welcome the baby (Which I don’t plan on ever having). I fully support this mom, falling pregnant while still a student and without any means of supporting your baby is what I consider stupid, childish and selfish.

  4. Mike, I fully agree with you, as a normal man I still don’t know what being man enough means. Any lady care to help in that regard, if it includes carrying a 250kg woman to the car, I may not make it anytime soon. If it includes taking care of ones family, maybe I’m doing better. If it includes giving a wrong answer or acting wrong for a situation, trust me to go to the wrong side. If it is about balls and their use, I wont comment much but I never got a sense of them being inadequate.

    Call her, via her lawyer for a meeting. Tell her that the outcome will be that all kids get equal but the option she is following will ultimately result in that except making lawyers richer and a pie smaller. Tell her that you are willing to take the fight to the end if she is interested to fight at court while there is an option of doing it without the courts.

    Oh, by the way, I remember reading that the estate should be divided into two (your half and his, if in community of property) if there was no Will. Then his half be divided into five (you plus four kids) then that is a share of each person (assuming all those shares are valued above R125000, if not then different rules).

    Of course there are some rules about disinheriting a kid or a spouse.

  5. I don’t mean to sound “shmug” but I enjoyed my pregnancy. I loved the movement in my tummy. The morning sickness wasn’t that bad either. The only part I hated about being regnant was giving birth. I’d fall pregnant again if I didn’t hav to give birth. I feel for Lee for not enjoying her pregnancy though.

  6. As always the injection that keep us going thanks once again … “When you are dating a black man stress is something that comes naturally and within the territory”
    Lol killer

  7. Lol…shame Lee you sound like my sister. I feel for you, i enjoyed my pregnancy, no morning sickness no swelling feet, nothing, i even lost weight just gained the tummy, did not even have labour pains ok was unable to give natural birth so had to book c-sec before due date.

    @ Palesa, did you have DNA tests done for these kids??? His family is just being mean but it happens – i have first hand experience when my father passed on – no kids out of woodworks though but family politics as a result we (mom and siblings) had to relocate

  8. Thank you Mike. I guess I was one of lucky few, I enjoyed both of my pregnancies and giving birth was also not as bad as we are always told, I gave birth on a Sunday and Monday was sitting for an exam.

  9. iyo that mother is heartless but maybe again she means well o batla hore a ska hlola a entse ngwana e mong hape, but the measures she is taking a brutal

  10. I think Faith’s mom is giving her tough luv @ sum point in lyf we need dat so we cnt repeat da same mistake QnA:Palesa dis woman ukujwayela kabi she’s acting as if u re da other woman nd gt preg by her hubby,u mst fight her gal otherwise she will nt stop this nonsense,I’m sori u had to go through such a horrible experience as if losing yor hubby was nt enuf,stay strng nd gudluck

  11. Thanks Mikeesto, that soon to be grandMa is coldhearted.

    Palesa: this Buhle chick needs to know where to get off. I’m not sure how this works legally, but you shouldn’t be giving them jack. Was your husband giving them something? Surely you wouldve noticed, unless he did all your financials. God don’t like ugly, but sometimes God forgives, infact all the time. Give that woman a lesson she won’t forget, contest the childs paternity if necessary. They were side chicks that ended up with kids, the man responsible is nomore, that shit shouldn’t be none of your business. Your inlaws ke can go to hell, I don’t think your kids need those kinder people in their lives anyway.

    Remember, fight back, harder, let them fear you even when you are not around. Bangazok’phambanela apha usando loser umyeni so young even.


  12. @wife somethings are not worth fighting for such as money. Kneel down in your bedroom and pray for yourself and the kids. If you are working and have money of your own then Give buhle what she wants and move on with your wife

  13. Iyo your mother has no heart, I will comment tomorrow. I need to knock off now. It has been a long day.

  14. what a heartless mother, tough love nonsense. parents like behaving like there were not kids before hai. Faith’s mom should go hug an electrical transformer sies…………

    A-Q your inlaws are pathetic they need to get off their high horse. Accidents happen, that is part of life they need to grow up. as for the buhle woman you need to deal harshly with her sorry ass, it pisses me off to see people who never worked for money crying for something that doesn’t belong to them. they are parasites!

  15. @ Bhejane you are right, as the wife if there was no will she should get 75 % of his estate or R125 000.00, whichever is more and the children recieve an equal share of whatever is left, this is according to the common law assumption that the wife will look after all her late husband’s children. however if he died testate (with a valid will) then whatever he wanted in the will must be followed. In dealing with her I say get a protection order for yourself and the kids should she as much as call you or goes near your kids then you can have her arrested. for the insults, and suing for damages against her insults, that might be a bit harder to win but you can institute an action for pain and suffering.

    Good luck and I hope my 2 cents worth helps out

  16. Nkulie sis, syakubongela that you’ve lead a perfect life and have not made mistakes that you were warned againts prior and you’ve never been “stupid” or whatever.

  17. Thanx Mikey. Ay this mother is heartless,how can a mother say that to her own child? I would expect it from a father coz they usually take longer to forgive.Well,atleast she still let’s her use her medical aid,she’ll come around eventually

    A2q but why is it that when a man dies,the inlaws blame the spouse? This should stop. Palesa, take her to court and settle this once and for all,angazokujwayela kabi. Stay away from that family, they’ll always blame u

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