I think most girls don’t get it why their mothers can be like this. When your baby is born they will love her like she is their own but when it comes to you she will treat you like vermin. What hurt me more though was that my sister had had her fair share of drama which she brought back to the house but with me not once, not one time had I ever done anything naughty or scandalous. I was the daughter that came back from school on time, took off my uniform, cleaned the house and cooked, did my homework and still got amazing good grades. I never asked for compliments and I got none either. I worked hard in everything I did but now for her to treat me like this I felt more than betrayed. This doctor was right, I had stress both the black and the white way! I could not help but cry when that thought got into me. I told myself I will overcome this like all the other challenges that came from me being treated like I was adopted. All parents have a favorite, I know they tell the world that they do not but truth be told as kids we all know who mom’s favorite and if you have a present father, who his favorite is. At my house it was my sister! Yes she did so many visible things wrong but my mother would always find a way to rescue her or save her. Maybe it is because I was not a rebel that I did not get the same attention I don’t know but now that I was pregnant really she should look my way too.
I hung up and turned around to think. Mudenda was acting dodgy. He had not been himself for over a month now. I had chosen not see it at first but with how he had reacted over the last incident something was amiss here! I know there are some girls who say that when their men start to act funny they never suspect cheating as a first offence but I am not one of them because common sense says usually says they are and it’s usually right. Men do not have an idea what their infidelity does to us. They are selfish in even doing it but worse they destroy our self confidence. I was pregnant which made me feel fat and unattractive, my mother hated me and now my man, the father of my child was probably seeing someone else. I called Zama but she did not pick up. She was probably busy as usual. Zama was that girl who you hardly ever found when you called her. She would rather call you back. I don’t know how she did it. Meladi’s phone went to voicemail meaning that left Aurelia our group socialite. I needed reassurance and she clearly was my third choice. She loved herself too much and even though we were friends she was hard to justify half the time. I get it she was beautiful and independent but over the course of university she had also become proud and arrogant. Still a beggar is not a chooser! I called her.
She picked up her phone and the first thing she said,
“Am I an aunt?”
This girl knew I was six months pregnant so how could she possibly think I was she was an aunt. I think I was just too sensitive though because I am sure she was just joking. I told her know, I wish. She had just come back from Mauritius and if I recall last time she was in the Seychelles. In our first year Aurelia was that beautiful girl who taught us to reject older men as she called them disgusting peverts, rich Nigerians or foreigners of any kind as she called them opportunistic parasites and soccer players as she said she did not want to be Kelly Khumalo, forever a side dish! We used to laugh at all this but by the time we got to third year, that baby talk as I know called it had been replaced by tags like “bad bish”, “nothing for mahala”, “you can’t sit with us” “no to basics” etc. She came from a well to do family but now her clothes, shoes, bags were from some other level. I am talking Tom Ford, Burberry, Gucci (not the fake one ko market). To say therefore that she had changed her philosophy on men and money was an understatement. We had an intervention for her once and she did not talk to us for three months but somehow we salvaged us and got back together. It was never the same though.
“What’s up though? You don’t sound too fine!”
She asked me. I started crying and told her what was happening and so on. I did not tell her that I was in hospital as I focused on the changes in Mudenda. She listened carefully, which was something she had always been good at and I doubt that money can change that. After I was done it was her turn,
“Goodness I didn’t know that all this was happening I am so sorry! All along I thought Mudenda and you were doing perfect. I think you should talk to him because you guys always had a good understanding. You can also speak to Zama because they are always together. Even ten minutes ago Zama said they are meeting up for something. I am sorry though that I could not offer you much more advice because I don’t want to make worse of a situation that could be fixed!”
She said. I could hear the sympathy in her voice as she spoke. She might have changed but her soft side was still somewhere inside there. We spoke for almost two hours about everything and anything. I told her to give me tips on how to get people to follow me on instagram because that shit is hard. She laughed about it and said she will look into it. Eventually she had to go unpack so we said our goodbyes. I was tired so I fell asleep.
Around 730pm I was woken up by someone entering my room. It was not a nurse it was Mudenda. He had flowers for me, how sweet. He sat down and asked me how I was feeling? I did not reply to his question because I had one of my own which I asked immediately before he could regroup!
“Did you not think I would find out you are sleeping with Zama?”
I asked calmly. I did not raise my voice. The shock on his face said it all. When you date someone this long you know their reactions.
“Err…. ummmm…. who… who told you that?”
He stuttered through it. The shock was also in his voice too!
“I am sorry. It just happened! O God!”
God had nothing to do with this! The fool did not even bother to lie!
I sent Aurelia an sms about what he had just confessed then switched off my phone because I did not want to talk about this now. We stared at each other for two minutes and then guess who walked in,
Zama Mpanza in the flesh.
“Hey baby girl, did you think I was not going to come and see you? Why the fuck are you scaring me like that …”
She said in her bubbly voice and came straight to hug me.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
This is, without doubt the most humbling moment I’ve had in the longest of time… I am finally part of,the “Zulu Girl Masses”. I first heard about your blog/ page whilst working at Mangwanani African Spa, this must have been early 2013, yes? Now this company had about 43 women and three men at its head office in Ballito. Of the 43 women, way more than 50% were on the “Zulu Girl” tip… I love reading and all… However, and I declared, there was no way I was going to be a part of it. I love my authors to belong to me and nobody else. (Yeah, I’m selfish like that, I always claimed to read “real” books). I didn’t want to be a part of,the masses, so I’d sit in the office (open plan, mind you) and listen to the girls drone on and on about lentombazane yase Mooi River blah blah blah…
I digress and fast track in one breath (if ever such exists). Humbling moment for me because in less than two weeks, I have gone through every single (available) chapter of DOAZG, MOATBM, MOAYW and COASB… Have you ever? I’m glued to my now completely reaffirmed-without-a-doubt-smart-phone day and night.
Even more, I found a bit of myself in Thandeka (minus the great body, university, married parents, a boyfriend who wants to marry me). I was a bit of Nelisa in high school albeit without the rich sugar daddy and the perks, throw in a little bit of Nozipho because of loser Kasi boys I’ve dated! Need I go on?
I would also like to give you two thumbs and eight fingers up for the NGOs/NPOs you’ve made mention of with a number rod the posts. I’ve read quite a bit of,the positive feedback from you. I really think it,goes beyond literally genius that you have:
1) Got the country reading (being black we’ve been accused of shying away from literature of course)
2) Have gotten our able citizens to involve themselves in charity work
3) Have men and women questioning themselves, their partners, families and the roles we play in each others lives… Fully inclusive of our responsibilities/ or at times lack thereof!
4) Presented a platform upon which we are enlightened with information about social ills in an entertaining manner.
The list is endless. Thank you!
Perhaps one day you will consider putting together a multifaceted project that will capitalize more on your “followers” which will promote your page and raise funds for your chosen charities on a national scale? Perhaps I’m getting carried away, but in my mind I see the bigger picture, if I may, that will propel the involvement of South Africans (especially us Black SAcans) in the advancement of charity organizations that exist for the benefit of our very own communities.
I hope you don’t get a headache reading this rather long and scattered email.
Humbled and Literally Bewitched,
P.S: Give Thozama a big kiss for me… I’m absolutely in love with her!