Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Five

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

Isn’t it obvious and human nature that we seek for temporary fixes for everything. In my head all I could see was a man who had destroyed my family. He had made a liar and a cheat out of my wife. He had walked into my home and destroyed not just a marriage but a dream. I could not sleep well anymore and every time I suspected my wife was up to something. No one can live like that! Being in a relationship where you are constantly made to doubt yourself is incredibly difficult. People might say just get up and divorce her but those are people who have never been married. Divorcing someone is admitting you have failed before God. This is not like just dating yet how many people do you know who are just dating but are in terrible relationships. In marriage for better or worse is a burden that you don’t simply walk away from. I had my flaws but I had never brought my drama home. It’s not an excuse but it’s fact. How many times had this man come to my home? There are married woman who have no qualms about sleeping with a man in the same bed as their husband. As I had been blind to all that was going on I was certain this has happened in my home. When someone then says to me I must be the bigger man I honestly don’t know what they mean when they say just walk away without getting your pound of flesh! Revenge is not always weakness, it’s setting things straight. If they are consequences I will deal with them as they come!

My wife was a light sleeper so I poured her juice. The doctor had given her sleeping tablets so I took them with. Right now she was still sucking up to me so I would not have a problem with her. It was her medication so I was not doing anything illegal. When I got to the bedroom she turned around and said,

“Oh you are back!”

Of which I smiled and said yes. She did not seem fazed or concerned at all about this.

“Are those my sleeping tablets? Eish, I don’t feel like taking them. I promise you I am fine I won’t do anything stupid today!”

I smiled then gave a serious look and put on my serious voice and said,

“Please Asthandile let’s not argue. This is for both our sakes. You need the rest and not to overthink. Overthinking corrupts the mind, often destroys happiness as it creates problems that never existed in the first place!”

I honestly don’t know why I said that but it left her with a blank face as I had thoroughly confused her peasant brain. She took the pills and drank them. I had juice and a glass of water so she also drank the juice saying she was thirsty. I made sure she had swallowed and she even got annoyed saying she knows what’s good for her health. So says the woman who had just refused.

“I have something to tell you so please don’t get mad…”

She said about ten minutes later. I could see she was getting drowsy already. She was not sure whether to tell me though because she seemed hesitant and also with trying to stay awake it was kind of hard. I told her I would not get mad because she was opening up to me.

“In the name of honesty, he called me and asked if we could still be together. I didn’t tell him no over the phone because he does not seem to get it. I know it’s not your place but I want to go make it clear to him that we are through and I want you to be there personally to see it. MXolisi I fucked up, you can never forgive what I did but I promise that if you do not divorce me I will make sure that every single day I breathe in this world would be sorely to make you happy. What I did can never be forgiven I know but God willing you will find it in your heart to…”

She didn’t finish as she fell asleep right there in my arms. What she said changed nothing for me though as my heart was now cold towards her. I gave another ten minutes then I pushed her off me. I wanted to see if she would wake up so I was not too gentle either. She didn’t wake up, probably dreaming about her boss. Now this was going according to plan.

When I got downstairs I could not find the girls. It was already after 1030pm. Could they have snuck out? I went outside by the pool and they were not there. They were going to be in so much trouble I was thinking when I smelled that sweet smell of marijuana coming from the garage side. These kids were smoking weed in my garage! The garage door links to the kitchen however someone lost the key and we still hadn’t gotten around to getting a locksmith to open it from outside.

I snuck up to them and they didn’t even hear me. They were talking in whispers and giggling like the teenagers they were. They were even sitting in the dark so as not to arouse attention. I opened the door and immediately switched it on. What I saw was enough to drive a preacher wild! The look on their face was priceless. No other word for it. They were also drinking and there was a young Coloured boy with them. As soon as he saw me he ran past me as though the wind itself was chasing him. I saw him effortlessly jump the gate it was hilarious. The girls immediately jumped up.

“Please don’t send me back to East London”

Zimasa pleaded. Ezile on the other hand was about to cry.

“I guess I spoiled the party. Can I have some weed?”

I said walking in as though I was a Sunday school teacher. I took a puff and I sat down.

“I last smoked this in university!”

I said casually which was an absolute lie. I had totally confused them.

“Goodness it’s strong”

I said faking a cough. Amateurs!

“Are we not in trouble?”

Asthandile asked!

“You are if your aunt finds out but from we are cool. Ezile why are you crying? Nothing is going to happen I wanna hear all about you. Zimasa pour me aa drink please but not from that guys cup please!”

She laughed nervously but I knew I had won her over.

“I thought you wanted to swim what happened to that?”

I asked stupidly. I had to lighten up the mood quickly.

“We decided getting high first would make it epic I guess!”

She said.
“Are you sure you are ok with this?”

Zimasa asked again as she handed me the cup. I told her that she needed to just relax as I took a swig out of the cup.

“Come sit on my lap,”

I said to Ezile. She was reluctant until Zimasa teased her and said,

“My uncle is not going to bite you silly! See I told you that you are too uptight, you need to loosen up!”

That’s seemed to spark her to life!

“Come on Zimasa! I am 18 already.”

She was a bit high and typsy. She sat on my lap and I could feel her young ass squish into my laps!

I was getting laid tonight!

*****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Mike

Thank you for reading my letter.

I am 22 and I am one of those girls who went wild in high school. I went to parties, slept with men (married ones included), drank and even tried drugs. I slept with my mothers colleague and kissed my stepfather. I grew up in a good well to do family and they had intervention after intervention but I never listened. When I got into university in Jhb the lifestyle continued until one day I was raped by three men. I never told anyone about this. I didn’t know them but they were at a party I attended. I turned my life around after that. I stopped partying and all that.

Last week I got a job in Rivonia. Turns out one of the men who raped me is my boss’s son. He walked into the office and when he saw me he did not even recognize me. That’s how little I was to him and his friends. That feeling of disgust and self-loathing is back and I don’t know what to do. I want to keep my secret at the same time I want him punished.

What should I do?


34 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Five

  1. Hi Mr. Maphoto,

    From time to time you post a letter that pulls on one’s heartstrings and one is moved to help. Replying on the comments AND sending you e-mails has not helped me personally before. I see a number of other people also repeatedly ask, no response.

    May I request that when posting pleas for help that you also post a means of contacting those who need it. Help us be the good samaritans that we’d like to be from time to time.

    That said, I would like the details of the young lady who posted a few days ago. I think it was Alone and Desperate.

  2. As always keep up the good work bra mike … Overthinking corrupts the mind, often destroys happiness as it creates problems that never existed in the first place!….um Powerful words indeed

  3. Thanks Mike. Don’t do it Mxo, don’t!!! Instead use this opportunity to get as much info from the little girl as possible.
    A to Q: befriend the boss’s son, once you’ve got him right next to you, take him out to dinner, put slow poison in his drink and after he’s finished it tell him who you are and what you’ve just done to him.

    1. Lol KaManyosi, I was thinking of something along those lines but rather more immediate as it will take time to befriend the pig. I can only imagine what Victim is going through, having to relieve that ordeal and wanting to keep it as a secrete as well.

  4. I think that Asthandile created a monster in Mxo yhoo,hayi sisi usengxakini coz now he wants to shag in your presence.QnA Sisi wam I’m trully sorry about what has happened to u,I know it would be your word against his now like u said it happened a while ago,without proper proof sisi I’m sorry but it would not hold but get counselling for yourself.lastly why do men or boys rape?I’m a male also but I don’t understand it either,Its very Disgusting.

  5. Dankie Mikeesto, best chapter this week for me 🙂

    Had a female friend, wild and reckless, who used to say that if ever she got confronted by a situation of rape, she would pull out her wallet condoms and ask the perpetrator to be gentle coz she also wants to enjoy it. When she was unfortunately raped, her world was turned upside down, all that brave talk was gone and she never recovered (bless her soul).

    Revenge is best served extra cold with mild and spicy sauces on it. You need to befriend this guy, get into his inner circle, find the other two guys as well and just get a masterplan. Trip to Magalies, poison like KaManyosi said, or get a helper, kidnap them and chop em to pieces, feed them to the kasi dogs at midnight…. Maybe I watch too much movies!!

    Revenge is best served cold, do it, thoroughly, let the be no trace of your involvement…don’t report him for the rape now coz its gonna look foul…


  6. mxo is a slow learner aiii

    Victim–i think u shud tell the bustard abt the it, the thing is right now he doesnt know and its gonna destroy u inside. and record the conversation, sit down with him, ask him if he was @thing place on this day wth him. then after that ask him if he still remember you (wth the recording on). and tell him the whole story, tell him u not gonna report him, u forgave him. maybe hearing those words he will open up… wish u all of the best my sister

  7. So Mxolisi will go ahead with this. Legal age or not, I still think its not a good idea.

    KaManyosi, I hope I never get on your bad side. Though the guy deserves what KaManyosi is saying. Here is the deal, you can confront him, end up losing your job because no parent wants to believe their child is a rapist and the entire company will hate you, unfortunate world we are living where the victim becomes the enemy. Or, you can seek therapy and because the rape happened a some time ago and assuming no charges were made, I don’t know if there will be any legal recourse applicable still. I suggest you also look for another job else where because the rape is still hauting you, seeing your rapist is going to haunt you more. Good luck dear, May God be with you.

    1. Well said Bucie, some comments here are toxic, I mean why would you advice anyone to do such and then what happens when this stupid plan goes horribly wrong and she finds herself in trouble. I just think some people need to think before they type. Learn to analyse the situation before o typa. Cause some of these comments are delusional.

  8. lol ”revenge is best served cold”, ok guys like really that is the worst advice ever for both Mxo and victim…

    To Mxo, all i can say is stay away from that little if u shuld get back at the Boss just do it directly to him, tht poor girl is but a child with her own life and future ahead of her, dont destroy tht for her she is innocent this whole matter

    A2Q sisi revenge eats on u swallows u alive it preys on u from the insite, have you watched the series ya Revenge? Cz from that u’ll know its not worth it, u wont heal, the pain u feel wont be better but it’ll become worse

  9. Victim, do not revenge, it is not worth it. As you rightfully say, the perpetrator has forgotten what they did, try and move on. You lucky you have a job, focus on your life and making the best out of it. You turned your life around and you may not be knowing that you already are a good example to someone and if you plot the revenge you may be spoiling someones life without knowing.

    Who knows, the life you were leading might have put you even in a worse situation had you not been raped, not that I say its a good thing but you said it yourself , you changed your ways after you were raped. Every situation in our life should be looked at positively and use it positively. Wena you should go out there and tell young people about the dangers of leading a wild life so that they are spared from the same experience you went through.

  10. Dear Victim, I think that you should have a conversation with this guy and record him, if he opens up then that’s good but chances are he will deny everything and run to daddy to fire you. Then speak to his father and play him the recording. Even if you don’t have his confession, still talk to his father. Even if you lose your job you know you would have saved other girls from being raped. Who knows how many girls he raped before you and how many he raped after you and how many he is still gonna rape? He needs to be reminded that what he did is immoral and illegal.

  11. That man needs to be punished you can’t go on living your life like this you need to talk to same one get help cause if you don’t it will keep coming back every time you see him cause his going to come to your office

  12. Befriend him sisi, and get him to confess on record if you want to pursue any legal action.what you need is closure and justice not revenge. And my dear , none of what happened is your fault. Nobody has the right to rape/hurt anyone no matter what lifestyle you are leading. All the best

  13. I’m really sorry about what happened to you. Get counselling and pray to God to help you forgive them, for your own sake.i was securely molested by our neighbour at the age of 3 and I never said anything to anyone. When I grew up I think I forgot about it. At the age of 26 memories came back and I used to sit and cry myself to sleep. I then told my cousin.
    Weeks after that I was called to a family meeting and I was told that my 4 year old son was raped by my cousin when he was three. It killed me inside and I told them about what happened to me. I even thought of killing myself, but the love I have for my kids didn’t let me commit suicide. I’m still in pain and trying to help my son deal with what happened.

  14. What happened to you is sad, my best advice to you is to get professional help, they will give you the best way to deal with your situation. Remember this is real life, don’t play detective or do something that will put you in a worse situation (like committing crime, be it poisoning or killing him somehow). Get help soon, this is not good for you.

  15. Mxo, don’t sleep with the little girl, the same way Astha walked in on you while Zamisa was undressed is the same way they will catch you in the act. The problem here is that you too dump,you let your dick do the thinking which is bad considering it doesn’t have any brains!

    This letter really gives a person mixed feelings, my dear revenge may be sweet but the consequence are ever eternal. I know they hurt you but hurting them back won’t give you any rest just more guilt. Finding a job is very hard, you have a job now be grateful but don’t allow this no excuse for a human being to take away the little joy you have left. Woman are strong, we raise up from any form of struggle because that is who we are. Its not easy but life goes on dear. Try and move passed this

  16. I don’t think that a person can recover from rape. U may heal physically but emotional scars are with u for life. No proffessional help can cure that.I,ve been there,done that, it never worked for me. You just learn to live with it.Some days are better than the others

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