Isn’t it obvious and human nature that we seek for temporary fixes for everything. In my head all I could see was a man who had destroyed my family. He had made a liar and a cheat out of my wife. He had walked into my home and destroyed not just a marriage but a dream. I could not sleep well anymore and every time I suspected my wife was up to something. No one can live like that! Being in a relationship where you are constantly made to doubt yourself is incredibly difficult. People might say just get up and divorce her but those are people who have never been married. Divorcing someone is admitting you have failed before God. This is not like just dating yet how many people do you know who are just dating but are in terrible relationships. In marriage for better or worse is a burden that you don’t simply walk away from. I had my flaws but I had never brought my drama home. It’s not an excuse but it’s fact. How many times had this man come to my home? There are married woman who have no qualms about sleeping with a man in the same bed as their husband. As I had been blind to all that was going on I was certain this has happened in my home. When someone then says to me I must be the bigger man I honestly don’t know what they mean when they say just walk away without getting your pound of flesh! Revenge is not always weakness, it’s setting things straight. If they are consequences I will deal with them as they come!
My wife was a light sleeper so I poured her juice. The doctor had given her sleeping tablets so I took them with. Right now she was still sucking up to me so I would not have a problem with her. It was her medication so I was not doing anything illegal. When I got to the bedroom she turned around and said,
“Oh you are back!”
Of which I smiled and said yes. She did not seem fazed or concerned at all about this.
“Are those my sleeping tablets? Eish, I don’t feel like taking them. I promise you I am fine I won’t do anything stupid today!”
I smiled then gave a serious look and put on my serious voice and said,
“Please Asthandile let’s not argue. This is for both our sakes. You need the rest and not to overthink. Overthinking corrupts the mind, often destroys happiness as it creates problems that never existed in the first place!”
I honestly don’t know why I said that but it left her with a blank face as I had thoroughly confused her peasant brain. She took the pills and drank them. I had juice and a glass of water so she also drank the juice saying she was thirsty. I made sure she had swallowed and she even got annoyed saying she knows what’s good for her health. So says the woman who had just refused.
“I have something to tell you so please don’t get mad…”
She said about ten minutes later. I could see she was getting drowsy already. She was not sure whether to tell me though because she seemed hesitant and also with trying to stay awake it was kind of hard. I told her I would not get mad because she was opening up to me.
“In the name of honesty, he called me and asked if we could still be together. I didn’t tell him no over the phone because he does not seem to get it. I know it’s not your place but I want to go make it clear to him that we are through and I want you to be there personally to see it. MXolisi I fucked up, you can never forgive what I did but I promise that if you do not divorce me I will make sure that every single day I breathe in this world would be sorely to make you happy. What I did can never be forgiven I know but God willing you will find it in your heart to…”
She didn’t finish as she fell asleep right there in my arms. What she said changed nothing for me though as my heart was now cold towards her. I gave another ten minutes then I pushed her off me. I wanted to see if she would wake up so I was not too gentle either. She didn’t wake up, probably dreaming about her boss. Now this was going according to plan.
When I got downstairs I could not find the girls. It was already after 1030pm. Could they have snuck out? I went outside by the pool and they were not there. They were going to be in so much trouble I was thinking when I smelled that sweet smell of marijuana coming from the garage side. These kids were smoking weed in my garage! The garage door links to the kitchen however someone lost the key and we still hadn’t gotten around to getting a locksmith to open it from outside.
I snuck up to them and they didn’t even hear me. They were talking in whispers and giggling like the teenagers they were. They were even sitting in the dark so as not to arouse attention. I opened the door and immediately switched it on. What I saw was enough to drive a preacher wild! The look on their face was priceless. No other word for it. They were also drinking and there was a young Coloured boy with them. As soon as he saw me he ran past me as though the wind itself was chasing him. I saw him effortlessly jump the gate it was hilarious. The girls immediately jumped up.
“Please don’t send me back to East London”
Zimasa pleaded. Ezile on the other hand was about to cry.
“I guess I spoiled the party. Can I have some weed?”
I said walking in as though I was a Sunday school teacher. I took a puff and I sat down.
“I last smoked this in university!”
I said casually which was an absolute lie. I had totally confused them.
“Goodness it’s strong”
I said faking a cough. Amateurs!
“Are we not in trouble?”
“You are if your aunt finds out but from we are cool. Ezile why are you crying? Nothing is going to happen I wanna hear all about you. Zimasa pour me aa drink please but not from that guys cup please!”
She laughed nervously but I knew I had won her over.
“I thought you wanted to swim what happened to that?”
I asked stupidly. I had to lighten up the mood quickly.
“We decided getting high first would make it epic I guess!”
“Are you sure you are ok with this?”
Zimasa asked again as she handed me the cup. I told her that she needed to just relax as I took a swig out of the cup.
“Come sit on my lap,”
I said to Ezile. She was reluctant until Zimasa teased her and said,
“My uncle is not going to bite you silly! See I told you that you are too uptight, you need to loosen up!”
That’s seemed to spark her to life!
“Come on Zimasa! I am 18 already.”
She was a bit high and typsy. She sat on my lap and I could feel her young ass squish into my laps!
I was getting laid tonight!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
Thank you for reading my letter.
I am 22 and I am one of those girls who went wild in high school. I went to parties, slept with men (married ones included), drank and even tried drugs. I slept with my mothers colleague and kissed my stepfather. I grew up in a good well to do family and they had intervention after intervention but I never listened. When I got into university in Jhb the lifestyle continued until one day I was raped by three men. I never told anyone about this. I didn’t know them but they were at a party I attended. I turned my life around after that. I stopped partying and all that.
Last week I got a job in Rivonia. Turns out one of the men who raped me is my boss’s son. He walked into the office and when he saw me he did not even recognize me. That’s how little I was to him and his friends. That feeling of disgust and self-loathing is back and I don’t know what to do. I want to keep my secret at the same time I want him punished.
What should I do?