Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Eight

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

Of all the rotten luck in the world did she really have to wake up at this moment. I had given her the right dosage I think of her doctor recommended pills yet there should stood. They promised 12hour sleep but clearly they were made in China or something. She looked drowsy yes but she was fully awake. black people do not sleep walk, that’s witchcraft to us. Why did she come downstairs though? I really must sue this company that made this sleeping pill! Come on now! Was she really up? For the love of God can’t this woman do something right for once! Really now! Much as I wanted to punish her and humiliate her I also did not want her to catch me at it! She was standing there and I don’t think she had heard the whole conversation. Zimasa froze almost giving it all away. That’s the problem with getting in trouble with young people involved. They cannot think on their feet. I had to come up with something quickly.

“Asthandile come join us!”

I said laughing pretending it was all normal.

“You should come hear what these kids get up to!”

I said continuing my laugh,

“If you give me a daughter I will sue you ah ah the stories I have heard today!”

I said in an obvious lie. I did not act guilty or anything like that. I made it seem like it was a matter of fact. Asthandile wanted to lose her temper but the way we acted so casual about really put a spanner into any tantrum she might have had inside her! Lying is easy but making it plausible is where the work is.

“No Mxolisi you can’t be having such conversations with them they are too young!”

She said not exactly snapping but her voice was in distress. I think she wanted to shout but it just was not coming out.

“Ah my love come on. If the kids can’t be free to talk and ask questions amongst us who then can they talk to. It’s harmless fun and we all learn from each other. Don’t be a party pooper. Come in and swim with us!”

I said urging. I knew she would never get in. For someone who grew up in a coastal city she had this uncanny fear of cold water let alone at night. She said she was fine and was sleepy in any case. She had been forced to wake up because she had to pee. I told I will walk her back to bed then. She did not seem to mind. She smiled and said yes please. I was being extra nice something which I had not been in a long time. I dried myself walked after her. She asked me to dry again because she did not want me dripping in her house. I did so. When we got upstairs she asked me to take of my shorts because I was going to catch a cold. I told her I was going back to swim but she insisted. She stood in front of me, went on her knees and put Junior inside her mouth. Since I started writing my memoirs this was the second time my wife was giving me a blowjob! Like what the hell! I was quite nervous she would smell Ezile off me but she didn’t. Two minutes in she said,

“I just wanted to see if I still turn you on with my touch!”

Dwee woman you didn’t touch me, you sucked me like a lollipop! I was hard again and I was horny.

“No sex tonight sorry. I am too sleepy! Goodnight and please switch off the light behind you!”

She said with a grin on her face! Really? Had this just happened! Again my wife had shocked me because this was not the Asthandile I had married. She got into bed and turned around. I thought she was kidding but she was not. In two minutes she was out cold. I put on my wet pants but now they felt cold. My hard Junior started to go down. It’s not a myth ladies cold water calms that shit down faster than it goes up. When I got downstairs both girls were in the pool.

“Please remind me not to marry a lawyer because you guys lie so well ah ah ah!”

Said Zimasa!

“Like honestly how did you come uo with that lie! She even forgot what we were discussing!”

Zimasa asked me. I brushed it off and instead asked Ezile if she was ok. Most girls want cuddling after they lose their virginity but she was getting none of that unfortunately. Instead she said,

“Ah Zimasa it’s your turn I can’t have sex alone!”

Crap I had forgotten Zimasa. I felt guilty for Ezile because her level of innocence was really shocking but I had no regret whatsoever. Zimasa didn’t hesitate.

“I am going to teach you how to sleep with a guy. It’s a good thing he is mature enough to know how.”

She said so calmly. I won’t go into detail but that some of the best six I have had. I was tired when we got done and all I wanted and needed was my bed.

When I got upstairs all I wanted to do was pass ou. There was a message on my phone though which read,

“I had lunch with your good friend Lindiwe and she told me interesting stories about you and her. We need to talk!”

That was from Khanyi but more importantly what did Lindiwe say to her?

*****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Mike
I have doubting 2 send u this letter. I’m 35yrs married woman my marriage is not perfect but at least we managed 2 talk nd sacrifices nd sort out our differences. Until last year I found that my hubby is fathering a baby girl (she’s 2yrs) with another woman. We have 2 kids of our own but since then I can’t 4give him. I tried 2 divorce but bcos of finance I couldn’t afford a lawyer

My problem is I don’t love him anymore I started cheating trying 2 get back at him worst part is I sleep with those men and I enjoy doing it, I sleep with young and old I even invite men just 2 sleep with me. I even go on those naughty sites nd invites strangers just 2 have sex I have done it a lot in such a short time. Now I see is not safe I want to stop but my other problem is I don’t want to have sex with him and I’m tired of sleeping around cos now I’m also sleeping with my best friend’s hubby

Need help not judgement

44 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Eight

  1. Thank you Mickey.Dear Linda al is not fair and square in love or life.Honey you are hurting no one but yourself.Please stop everything else that you are doing b4 its too late.I am sure you do not want to loose your friend and your dignity in your community.Dear forgiveness is nt easy.Please 4ve your husband.I am sure u can learn to love him again.I mean everyone of us is nt perfect.And in ur case divorce is nt an option.Marriage is ip life, we cannot as a society continue to make this out of life.Everyone of us knows that at marriage there is nofing but work.D 4 my sis,my adyise is 4 u to learn to 4give urself.gthe men u’ve been inviting, learn to love yourself,go through the process of healing, when u are healed mentaly,spiritualy,i mean everything that makes u a human.4give ur husband and learn to to love him againg.It is nt going to be easy bt it wil be al worth it I promise you.

  2. Thank u bra Mike.I think the moral of the story is love them all but trust no one.Zamisa in all ppl getting some no sbali,iyooo…

  3. Hey Mike, nice one u really know ur story. As for Linda girl, restore urself don’t let his infedility cause u to be someone u not, its not too late u can stop just a matter of telling urself, good luck.

  4. Q&A

    you dont need advise, you need Jesus in ur life my sister. Pray about it and ask for forgiveness and give ur life to Jesus, that ur only hope.

  5. Ha ha ha Mthobisi is such a Liar for real jooio

    @QnA Linda sisi revenge doesn’t work for everyone how do u revenge by ruining urself? What u did is terrible and don’t blame ur hubby for it…. Worse I’m sure u were hurt when u found out ur hubby has a baby outside but now lemme ask how do u do something that hurt u to somebody else, Y sleep with ur friend’s hubby? Do u wanna hurt ur friend too? U can’t fix ur life by ruining other innocent ppl

  6. Thanks Mikeesto, rather short and interesting today lol

    Linda waze waphathwa ubufebe umdala sisi… I mean like WHAT THE FCUK!!!

    Couldn’t afford a lawyer my ass, if you afford internet dating then you sure as well can afford legal wise, Tshini thiza!!

    Hhe maan, young and old, you just getting screwed nje and you are enjoying it and are suppose to be someone’s wife, what a curse!!

    I won’t lie to you, even though it sounded kinky at first, it got really disgusting to think that a Mother of 2 would be doing such, nevermind what that good for nothing man did to you, you should have more self value than that gawddamnit.

    You need to change your horny ways and very fast, getting back at a man by cheating and getting screwed by society aint smart, infact, its down right STUPID. Grow up, leave that sorry ass coz you don’t love him nomore and go work for your kids…. Jesus Lighter Tu!!!


  7. Mr Lawyer u r under the dept of problems affairs left and right.

    Q&A; Linda, i’m sorry about what u r going thru and i hope u find a way out of this. When u got married u made a vow ‘for better for worse’ where did that go? Find it in ur heart to forgive urself and then u will be able to forgive ur husband because change starts with u. GOOD LUCK CC LINDA

  8. I thought as much when Zimisa moved in with them. This kimda shit happens a lot in black families when a girl cousin/sister moves in with a younger couple. They end up sleeping together. Nothing new, I hope though that Mxolisi used a condom with Zimisa cause that girl has been around!

    @ Linda get counselling ausi. I cannot even begin to comprehend what you are going through, being a woman is hard things these idiots put us through though its appalling. But all men are not dogs I believe, if reconciliation with hubby is not possible then you can make use of legal aid and get a divorce. Otla thola motho… You are still very young. please use a condom. Gwa kgwiwa ka montle.

  9. sorry sisi ave uyihlazo kubantu abashadile ushushuluza ngendunu phansi I wish akubambe umngani wakho umhlabawonke wazi ngalamanyala owenzayo being cheated on by your hubby doesn’t give you a right to destroy other peoples lives u b**ch

  10. @Linda…wen you are hurt and disappointed,you don’t plan to do all this,you hurt and confused and act on an impulse,sometimes le Modimo you don’t want to look at Him bcs he will tell you to 4give,I ha e been through that and am glad you realising that you need help,I was not married but I feel it doesn’t make a difference…you are hurt and disappointed,most of us have done that and more,wat I did,I decided to deal with my pain,went to see a psychologist,they don’t judge those ones,they just listen,found the courage to let go of that man,left with sex partner,later left him and became alone….found an amazing man after a year…and most definitely i invited God in my life and my life was never the same….you need to deal with the pain….

  11. i know how hard it is to look through the sitiation is it easy look over it and to tell you sell you have a solution. what you deal with right now is pain of betrayal by you man you are not willing to forgive him nor work through the situation until u ready you will do that that is when you will stop having sex with all this man and i understand that you were going thru a face of wanting another man to validate you but that wont take away the pain go heal first then you can make decision of wether you want to live o not dont make any until you have got all you answers abt what you want to do with your life after this pain Forgiveness is a journey and in oeder to forgive another you will have to forgive yorself first

  12. Nice one Mike

    Hell hath no fury like a women scorned.
    What was once your innocents, your Holy Grail, not his but yours.
    I have never understood, how sleeping around is suppose to help.
    Feel sorry for you.

  13. Mike Mike we want details of Zimasa haaa. Make sure in your book they are there please.
    Linda dear you sleep around because you are hurting and want to be even with your husband. You want another man’s baby. Please go to clinic they’ll help you get fertile as soon as posible. Your kids won’t be happy to be called prostitudes children. Sort your problem from its roots dear. I know this is not a correct way to go but I know you’ll never be okay until you get what you want

  14. It is amazing that Asthandile had a thought of “checking if it still work” while she was sleepy. Is either scheming a lot (has a plot for this) or is always thinking about it. A big story will come here from Mike.

    Linda, I once told my friend that divorce is not that expensive (few hundred rands) and you dont need a lawyer to have it, if you agree on divorce terms. What makes it expensive is GREED. It is a desire to take everything from your spouse forgetting that you will end up in the same position had you both stop being greedy and agreed. Of course lawyers make money on that.

    On the matter of promiscuity I will leave it for others. Go to the river/sea and bath your self. It will not do anything but will give you sense of cleanliness and being ready to start a new chapter. When you come back take a decision that you want to forgive your husband and start a new life with him forgetting your mistakes and his. Yes forgive him and start afresh. Take a decision that you will start to love sleeping with him, of course it wont be easy but try your best as you were doing with the one night stands.

    If you want a quick and painful divorce where you will loose everything, just make a confession to your husband. As a rule of thumb, man dont forgive and will punish you severely for your indiscretions while you have to forgive his.

  15. Aucy linda you are just whoring nje sisi and blaming it on youd cheatinv husband..if what he dd hurt you and humilliated u then why are you doing the same thing? Jackzoro is right ubufebe nje lobo…im trying hard not to judge but a number of different men in a short period of time ay ngeke muntu omdala..maybe one or two patners but more than that u need jesus..get on your knees and ask God for forgiveness and pray really hard for you need strength to pull through this addiction…

  16. @Linda-if I had walked a mile in ur shoes I”ll gladly say I understand u but I don’t. I also don’t have any right 2. Call u names or 2 judge u… All I can say ke gore u need 2 start with acknowledging ur mistakes 4give urself and ask 4 4gveness from all the guys u slept with after that deal with ur marriage. We all have our buggages and we all have enough strnth 2 deal with dm.

  17. Eyyyy lmfao Linda is a freak yo! You go girl lmfao you’re a MILF for daaaays. Lmfao aibo is this even possible?! You need Jesus and Joseph and all those men in the bible to heal you, you need Alla and them India niggas too, you’re out of control o!

  18. linda my sister i dont know why u saying u need help really cz like u said u want to stop so just STOP there is no help that we could possibly give i believe except telling u what u already know: LINDA STOP WHAT U DOING SISI ITS WRONG which you already know so yah i dont understand why u say u need help and what kind of help #confused

    Iyo Mxolisi is such a liar, and bad person, and what is tht stunt tht Asthandile just pulled?

  19. Thanks Mike.
    A to Q: Linda, Linda, Linda… Atleast have 1 (one) steady makhwapheni, if you really need to have sex, but PLEASE stop all this, pray and read the holy book each time you feel like going to those internet sites. Next thing, you’ll befriend a serial killer and they’ll do all nasty things to you and then kill you.; think of your kids sisi. If you are not ready to forgive your husband let him know, and find a way to work through your issues. Perhaps you guys could even agree to an open marriage, coz a 2 yr old love child means that man has another life on the side which you’re not part of and there’s nothing you could do to change that. Get your mind and self busy with positive and productive things. Enroll for some degree or whatever, empower yourself; but just get busy ungaloku ucabanga what has happened. Sorry ke ngokukuvelele; it’s every wifes’ worst nightmare.

  20. lmao india nigas too, le madlozi alles
    but no really, the truth lies within sisi, if you really want to change you will do it, and the clichè saying “can’t put out fire with fire?” Linda you’re only harming yourself and the peopleu care about, mot your husband, what if your kids find out? Cause they will that shit is selfish, i found out both my parents are cheating in the community and its not nice but i can’t do shit about it, so yenza the right thing.

    1) forgive yourself 2)try forgive him3)keep them secrets to yourself, confessing will kill it 4)divorce the motherfucker cause u don’t feel shit for him and stop ruining innocent people’s live’s, government offers free lawyers but it obviously takes forever,and don’t fight for possesions cause that’ll prolong the process

    goodluck, and go to a real church sisi seriously, psychologist don’t work, church does

  21. I’ve tried to reason with your situation and I can’t see any benefactor of your actions. You are doing so much wrong to yourself on your own that you start to make the infidelity better than your transgression.

    You are very stubborn too much that you are on self destruct which means you no longer care about you or your kids you have lost purpose and belief. You are clear you don’t love your husband, so your sexual acts what purpose are they addressing?

    If you are 35 u still fall under the old school kinda woman so I don’t understand how easy it easy for you to keep on undressing for all sorts of man, young and old.

    You are stuck in mid air, You are hurt, you are angry, your are disappointed and you are not dealing with either of those issues what you do is double what your husband did and no matter how it can be looked at what’s happening now has nothing to do with him and you your self Linda are destroying your own temple.

    I am sure your friend is giving you all the possible support and yet your destructive self says its ok to sleep with your best friend’s hubby. Seeing the pain your husband caused for you exactly why would you do the same? worse to your best friend.

    My last question to you is why destroy everything about you at a beautiful age of 35? Why destroy your kids, why destroy friendship, why help destroy your friends marriage? What can you possible say you have gain in all of your actions? It doesn’t elevate you to anything things except reduce you even lower to your husbands foolishness. You are destroying your self “God’s temple” you are destroying your friends marriage. Every woman’s nightmare is a cheating husband even you before you could find out about the other child that’s been your fear and once you found out it destroyed and now doing to your friend, how? and why?

    PS: Do love yourself you are worth every respect, breath and love possible out there & prayer changes things

  22. As always……my daily dose “black people do not sleep walk, that’s witchcraft to ” lol kodwa bra mike ungenzan lol

    Q&A sis they are many thing you can do with your life you don’t have to do thing in order to get back at him come on sis you know better than that bt ke life lena who we are to judge you but hope you will change #ngyema lapho

  23. Sisi Linda

    The ball is in your court sisi and its up to you to change your life around. You know better and you an opportunity to do better. We cant justify any of your actions (hubby included) Anything that feels dirty and makes you feel bad is not worth it. Its not our place to judge but forgive yourself and the pain that he has caused you. Its not worth it to hold on to it, its killing you mentally and emotionally. Just let go of the pain, though healing is a process.

    Make the BEST decision for yourself and your family sisi Linda.

  24. Dam this guy is thinking with his d#$k that is y he is in this mess,his penis is causing him to lack clarity in vision,his digging his own grave,spearheaded by his d@$c,dam ass

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