I have always had a thing where I judge my boyfriends by the first date. The guys who put too much effort for me are the ones that I tend to stay away from because they usually get possessive and aggressive in their so called love for you. I prefer guys who even on the first date act as though it’s casual and almost a matter of fact. To me those are the guys who will give you a gift just because it’s Sunday because they approach the relationship as an everyday thing not an occasion. I don’t do professional relationships like most girls do. I believe that my man should be my friend. It’s as simple as that. This way we have fun together and can talk tease and laugh together. Professional relationships for me are the type that you see your man at the weekend, you speak on the phone briefly because you are saving airtime and because of this you hardly know him. Why would anyone really want to start a relationship with someone who is far? in university you get to be with a guy all the time and you know almost everything about them. Lol look at myself jumping to conclusions the guy had not even said why I had to be there. What if it was because he was just trying to get Meladi and Aurelia to come. Meladi was from Polokwane, she was not as stylish as Aurelia but she was a pretty stunning girl. It’s one of those things were clothes make a person but with Meladi she was very simple in Howw she dressed, trackpants mostly and tight tops yet she still turned heads. Aurelia’s fashion sense was more on the loud side because she had the money of course and she kept on telling us how her car was coming soon. I might live in the North of Johannesburg but I am fairly certain I was not getting a car anytime soon. My mother had a small car which on her nurses salary was a bit heavy on her if you consider the bond for the house. She was a midwife and had just finished her course to become a surgical nurse. Her plan was she would work private now and get more money. There are so many private hospitals and clinics in Jhb and they pay more. That was her plan and I supported her. She was a hardworker even though so strict.
At Wimpy Mudenda was so chilled. He spoke to all four of us with such ease it was disarming. If you consider our different personalities he did very well. Zama was her usual shock and awe type. Some things she said we’re so inappropriate but you had to laugh because she was crazy like that. She insisted that I must sit in a position were I look straight at him since it was his idea we came here. It was awkward at first but it was all in good fun. Felt good to be young. At some point Aurelia said she had to go because she had a tutorial and Zama said she would leave with her. She had something to do or someone to see. That left Meladi and I. Aurelia left r50 on the table for her meal but Zama had not eaten siting that she had had breakfast. I thought Mudenda would jump to the occasion and say it’s fine but he did not. I asked him when she was gone why he had not and he said,
“I am a student. My parents work hard for my pocket money and the last thing I can afford is to take girls out at a whim. I would love to but I can’t afford it!”
It was that humility that made him so dreamy in my eyes. He was not afraid to lower and humble himself even in front of all of us. You get girls who say that they cannot date such a guy because he will not afford her bills yet she has no job herself, comes from a poor family and her biggest dream is getting an expensive weave. How cheap is that? Zama was youur typical boarding school graduate. She went to Pietermaritzbug Girls so she still did that early morning breakfast. She kept on saying 5years of boarding school are hard to get over. I wonder why she even made us go for the Engineering lunch.
When we were done, Meladi and I wanted to go back to campus but Mudenda said he wanted to go to his place. He stayed at the Fields which is right in front of the university. It’s a booze first there full of beautiful girls and somehow I was intimidated by that thought. Here was the man I was fast developing a crush on, surrounded by all these girls and I had to compete? How?
“Can I see you again without the chaperones?”
He said casually. This guy was at such ease around me it was so cool.
“Ouch, so now we are chaperones!”
Meladi said laughing. She did not mean it in a negative way as our mood was quite playful. She said she was going to go into GalaxyBoy a shop that’s next to the fields so we could have a chance to talk. This was the first time I would be with this new guy all alone. I lost all my confidence from the conversations we had on the table. One would think this would be simpler now that we knew him but it was not.
“I did not realize you were this shy.”
He said laughing at me. When you are with your friends you don’t get to be shy that’s why I get to express myself. Now on my own it was a bit different. I could not even talk ah!
“Ok tel you what, give me your phone so I can put in my number…”
He said a bit confused but smiling. I took out my phone and handed it over to him. As soon as he had it in his hands my heart sank! My cover picture on the phone was of me and Tidimalo, my boyfriend! Stupid move made by a nervous girl! I wanted to slap myself on the head.
He put his number without saying anything, dialed it and took out his phone. He handed my phone back and said,
“Say bye to Meladi!”
He sounded a bit disappointed. Even the way he walked away I could see his shoulders were sagging a bit! What a stupid move! I immediately removed that cover picture! What was I thinking!
When I got to Meladi I told her what had happened. She laughed and said that having your man’s picture on your phone is like putting that you are in a relationship on facebook, nobody cares! Eish, that’s me, I had that whole “in a relationship” thing on my profile. Taking it off I am certain would lead people to ask questions especially Tidimalo. Now what?
“Did you notice that of the four girls on the table, he only asked one girl for her number?”
Meladi said with a big grin on her face! Beautiful girls like her, no matter where there are from have a way of making it seem like they are doing you a favour when a guy picks you over them. They talk to you the way white people talk to black people, as though you are a child! Obviously he asked me because he had said from the beginning that we were at breakfast because of me so why would he have asked them!
She spoilt my mood. I changed my facebook status to single and in less than five minutes, I got a call!
It was Tidimalo (my boyfriend)
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Hi Mike and fellow readers.
I am a 22 year old female and 8 months pregnant. I don’t work yet and I’m a student. I currently live with my boyfriend as the situation at home has caused me to do so.
My boyfriend is 25 and he is employed. My problem is he recently found out that his ex has a baby and he says its his but @ first he was confused if he was the father or not but now he says he is. The baby is only a few months old.
When we got together they had already broken up but she was still into him. Now I’m pregnant and we were happy at first and everything was good between us. Now he’s having secret meeting with the ex family and he doesn’t tell me I had to find this out from people who go to church with him. Him and his go to the same church and that makes me very uncomfortable because I know she still loves him and maybe he does too but he says otherwise…when I confront him he says I’m suffocating him and he doesn’t want to stress me coz I’m pregnant. I’m also hearing that he’s giving his ex a lift home from church every sunday he says its because he doesn’t have a grudge against her…I really don’t mind him wanting to support his kid but all I want is for him to communicate with me and tell me his plans coz his secretive behavior it turning me into a person I’m not. It makes me feel so insecure about our relationship. I feel as if he doesn’t love me no more nd he’s just with me till I give birth nd also his female friends have increased he talks to them till late @ night he’s deleting stuff from his fone and hardly spends time with me even on weekends. I spend most of my time crying but he doesn’t seem to care at all. What do I do? Coz talking to him does not seem to help me at all.
Please keep my name anonymous