Missteps – Chapter Seventy Three

Posted on Posted in Missteps of a Young Wife

Thozama Mqikela

A pregnancy is supposed to bring joy, happiness, laughter, love and all good things, it’s meant to be enjoyed by two people that created the child that is about to be brought into this earth.  It’s meant to bring famalies closer together, it’s meant to make the marriage or relationships stronger.  Mine was anything but the above, I was starting to question myself as who this baby I was carrying belonged to, I wanted with every fibre of my being, with every cell in my body the baby that I was carrying to be my husband, no married woman wants to carry another man’s baby. It is a disgrace to you and your family when you are married and are pregnant with someone else’s child, when you married people don’t even ask who the father is they automatically assume that your husband is the father which is how it should be.  I could kick myself for being so stupid, the affair with Mfundo was the worst thing that I have ever done, biggest betrayal to my husband, I swore to myself  that is a secret I would take with me to the grave and I would make sure that I Mfundo takes it with him to his grave too, well I was gonna send him to his grave sooner than he could ever imagine. Cindy walked in and asked if everything was okay with that “I know what you doing look”, I smiled and said everything was fine.

Mfundo quickly switched from being a needy boyfriend to being a client and demanded reports and said we had been slacking and he wasn’t happy with how we were handling the account, we were ready for him we gave him everything he needed and in less than an hour he was out of our hair.  Midday I received a call from my husband wanting to know if I had eaten breakfast, dammit I had forgotten about eating with Mfundo hovering around food was the last thing on my mind but I had to be fair now, I was not doing it for me I was doing it for the life that was growing inside of me and I needed to make sure that the baby was healthy, I lied and told him Cindy had brought breakfast he asked if he could bring me lunch, as I was about to say yes I remembered that I had said to Mfundo I would meet up with him later to discuss the baby situation.  I told him I had already ordered lunch to be delivered to the office so he shouldn’t worry about bringing me lunch. When I got of the phone with my husband Cindy said “so since you now pregnant maybe you should end things with Mfundo.”   This is why I don’t like people knowing my business just because they know they start thinking that you need their advice, one thing people need to learn is if a person doesn’t say “I need your advice” you best keep your mouth shut because I am sure that person knows what they are doing even if they don’t there is a good reason why they didn’t ask for your advice maybe because they know you live in a bubble not in a real world and your advice is the worst in the world, for example I could never ask Cindy for advice even if she was the last person left on earth, she has never gone through the shit I have gone through and if I had to explain to her my situation she would crucify me and nail me on the cross and tell me how much of a loser I was, these snobbish girls are a problem, they act like they have perfect lives.  I put on my most innocent face and said Mfundo and I were over, I had made a mistake and was now focusing on my husband and family and will not have time to play around.  She looked at me and nodded encouragingly and said I had made a right decision and I didn’t need to sleep my way to the top.  Did she say sleep my way to the top?  I didn’t want to  argue because I knew it would not end well so I just nodded and said she was right.  We dicided to do a bit of work and I decided to sms Mfundo and told him we should meet in Rivonia for lunch so we could talk, he replied within seconds and said good idea, it’s like the fool was waiting for my message.   I wished I had poison in my bag so I could put it in his lunch.

Around 1 I told Cindy I was going to meet Andiswa for lunch in Rivonia, she didn’t care she was ready to go home she had been drinking water and Red Bull for her hang over but nothing seemed to help, I felt sorry for her cause I know how much of an annoyance hang over is.  I drove all the way to Rivonia, in my head I already had the conversation planned, I knew how I was going to start it and end it, I was prepared shem.  As I was pulling up to the restaurant I received an sms from Mfundo it read “Emergency at work, we will have to meet tomorrow instead.”  Bloody hell, I had prepared myself mentally for this stupid man to cancel on me on last minutes, I was so annoyed but I decided I was not going to waste the trip I was going to sit at that restaurant even if I was by myself and enjoy  a good meal.  I parked the car and went inside the restaurant I ordered a nice big juicy steak with mash potatoes and veggies, I decided I was going to sit there and just have some me time, now that I was pregnant I was going to need lots of those because we all know as soon as the baby comes there is no rest, no sleeping so I needed to enjoy myself while I still could.  My husband called and said he just saw his car in a shopping complex in Rivonia am I there?  Coincidence?  I didn’t think so.  I told him the name of the resturaunt I was in he said he will pop in, the first thing that came to my head was what if Mfundo had been with me.  Mthobisi arrived all smiles, he gave me a kiss and said it’s soo good to see me eat, I looked at him and asked why he was stalking me, he laughed and said he was in the area and saw his car.  He asked why I was alone and what happened to the lunch I had ordered at work I told him I felt like steak, he smiled and said the pregnancy craving had started.  He ordered food and the lunch that was supposed to be with my lover had turned to lunch with my husband, the craziness that is my life.  After lunch I drove back to work, did a bit of work and went home.

My husband got home late I had already cooked diner, he told me things go a bit hectic at work and he lost track of time, not that I noticed, I had soo much in my mind that it didn’t really bother me that he was late.  We had dinner and because this had been on my mind the whole day it just came out I said “if you wanted to kill a person how would be the best way to do it?” Mthobisi choked on his food, he couldn’t stop coughing I had to stand and hit him on his back and bring him some water, I swear the man almost collapsed from my question when he had finally caught his breath he asked me where the hell did that come from?  And who on earth did I want to kill.  I told him I was just wondering I didn’t want to kill anyone it’s just a conversation the ladies were having at work, he looked at me and told me not to bullshit him, he knows me and I was becoming like him lately and he didn’t like that.  I smiled and said he was being too dramatic; I could never be like him even if I tried he was too much.  I reminded him of him giving his brother and new wife a bed that was filled with guns I told him I could never do that, where on earth would I get so much guns from, he laughed and said with a bit of money you can get anything you want.  I told him since we are in so much danger maybe its time he took me to a shooting range so I could learn how to shoot.  He shook his head and said he will always protect me and with me being pregnant there is no way in hell he was taking me to a shooting range.  I protested and told him that he will not always be around to protect me and I needed my own gun especially now that I was pregnant, I need a gun, he told me I can always use my pepper spray, I shouted and said what’s pepper spray gonna do when I’m facing a gun.  My husband was now getting a bit suspicious, he told me that I had not once ever since he had known me shown an interest in guns yet here I was demanding my own gun out of nowhere, he told me I am going to tell him what is going on right now or hell is going to break loose.  How on earth do you explain to your husband that you want to kill your lover because he wants to expose your dirty little secret?  I couldn’t.  I told him that my boss Andile was just really pissing me off and sometime I just fantasized about killing her but I would never really do it.  This was a perfect opportunity for my husband to preach about workplace pressure and how bad it was for the baby, dammit I should have thought of something else this was not working in my favour.  The more I tried explaining that everyone at work talks about killing her but it’s just a joke the more he told me I was under pressure and it was not good and I needed to think about the baby and resign, shit there was no getting out of this.  But if I resigned it would mean I would not have to deal with Mfundo on daily basis and his stupid fantasies of being my baby daddy but I would be bored out of my mind.  I looked at my husband and said “You are right, I will do it, I will resign, on one condition, that you tell me all your dealings, all your schemes, all your secrets about everything and you leave nothing out, if I am going to stay at home I need to know what you do and where our money will be coming from” He choked again, this time I just sat there and let him suffer.

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