Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Two

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

I love children let’s just start there. I am a successful man, employed and I can take care of my family. I will never make an excuse not to take care of my children. With Lindiwe’s baby if it was mine I will take care of it regardless of whether she wants me in the child’s life or not! Now that brings me to this woman trying to first kill herself now kill my baby! Hell no! It’s not weakness that makes a man love his children regardless of who the mother is. I know when you marry one and you have kids outside she tends to hate the fact that you love those kids too. Asthandile will just have to be strong the day she findds out about Lindiwe. Maybe I should tell her? Most men don’t have the guts to tell their wives when they have fathered another child whilst in marriage. I don’t blame them though because our women tend to turn into pyscopaths once they know. Women don’t have forgiveness in their hearts unless at some point the pastor asks them to forgive. I could just see Asthandile right now if she knew how she would react. The woman was a problem now when I had no baby mama now imagine what she would be like if she knew I had one. She would probably kill the baby mama, child and myself in a heartbeat. She had no brakes this one. I had to tell her somehow though because it was a secret too big for me to keep. With her trying to hang herself and more iit was not the easiest thing to do though!


Knowing that you are negative has to be the most relieving thing you can come up with. I did not have to wait for my annual December 1st experience to check. My boss called asking why I was not in the office again. I did not hesitate to tell him that my wife had tried to commit suicide and we were at the hospital to check if she did not break anything. He was shocked, surprised, saddened all at once and said that he was sorryy to hear that and I should take some time to get her help. I was certain I had kissed that promotion goodbye but at this stage too much was going on. I was not worried that he would tell many people because unlike my dark skinned brothers, white people in my office for all their bullshit understood the importance of privacy. If I had told any other person I am fairly certain people who are not part of my inner circle would know. Personally though I felt it was time we went back too Mdantsane even if it was for a weekend. Lately my wife had a habit of making us sleep at a hotel everytime we went back home. It’s like she was ashamed of whom we were now and where we came from. This time however I was going to make sure we would sleep in Mdantsane and I actually hoped that either water or electricity will go. I wanted her to see what she had lost out on because you can be rest assured that it’s so rare for that to happen here in Rosebank. If water goes out here they announce it on the news and apologize profusely but in Mdantsane it’s so often no one gives a fuck anymore! Just be strong!


Asthandile and I decided to stop in Rondebosch so we could eat something. Last night she had not eaten and she was still saying she was not hungry. I don’t blame her though. The doctor had scared her enough to make her realize that she really had messed up. I was not going to rub it in. I told her regardless of what the results said I was going to stay with her. I could see she wanted to say thank you by how her lips curled up but she stopped. That’s like saying thank you after sex? In fact I have always meant to ask, what do you say after sex? Asthandile had problems. She was on the verge of losing her husband and home, could be HIV Positive and already suicidal. I wish I lived in America where I could have her put in a psychiatric hospital. Ok fine am kidding but that’s were she was headed. It was then Dalu called me. I had forgotten all about him.


Dalu told me that he had heard the voicemail and he had made copies because this is what he thought I would want. He said he was scared for me but we must do the right thing. We must hand this over to the police investigative unit. I told him that I did not want to because I had dealt with the matter. As long as I had the recordings u would be safe as they would be too scared to come near me. I asked him to make sure we had copies. He seemed reluctant about this and I could hear it in his voice. I explained to him what he already knew that if we reported them then the case would never die as it would now involve more police. Dalu being the lawyer that he was reminded me to trust in the law otherwise I would compromise myself. Dalu was that friend who was so righteous that at times instead of turning the other cheek and walking away he would go to war to keep himself righteous. If you have such a friend you would know how annoying it is at times.


“I have a legal duty to report this as a lawyer and as your friend I think you need an intervention. Don’t worry I will represent you even but I have to take this to the directorate. You will thank me some day! You might not see it now!”


Self righteous prick!


I stood up so fast and I ran to my car!


I had to stop him!


*****The End****




Michael Nkululeko Maphoto


Dear Mike


I have a problem. My husband does not like sex. We rarely do it and when we do its like I am forcing him. He will ejaculate within two minutes then either sleep or go watch tv. He is not cheating because I go through his phone everyday. We can’t afford going for professional help. I tried making us watch porn but he says it disgusts him. I don’t know what to do? Mike I love this man but as a married woman using your fingers reaches a point of not fun and embarrassing.


Please advise us





30 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Two

  1. Thanx bra Mike,eish I hate friends like that who always wanna be self righteous when it comes to other people’s staff but always find an excuse when it comes to them,Q n A yho my sister I can just imagine coz its rare for a man to not like sex but maybe there’s a deep underlying problem so like they always say communication is the key.

  2. Thanks Mike…Dalu needs a chill pill,he will make things worse. @ Lee how long have you been married? Was your husband like this before marriage?

  3. arggggg Dalu must just chill hey….@Lee your man finds porn disgusting and doesn’t like sex?? when was this? before or after marriage?? Your are not giving us enough to work with here #insisDolly’svoice#

  4. lol aa Mxo darling seems like ur troubles never end my brother sho! all of the best….

    Lee usually men dont enjoy sex 4 2 reasons, one they are cheating, which u already said he isn’t, and secondly when he has problems, when he cant get it up or when he comes too fast, and they have pride so he wont tell u he has problems which at times are caused by things like stress, so just try talking to him and be supportive, all of the best hey

  5. Thanks Mike.
    A to Q: Lee you need to give us more info here? Was he always like that? Did he stop liking sex when you became pregnant or what? How long have you been married for? Some info please… Oh, and another – just because you randomly check someone’s phone and don’t find any incriminating evidence doesn’t mean he is not cheating (am not saying he is though). I religiously clean my phone everyday before I get home. At times I do it whilst sitting in the car, already parked in the garage. Just to give you something to think about…

  6. Thank you Mike. Q@A: Lee my sister you are not the only one who is having an almost similar problem. I’m also in my late twenties and getting none from my dear hubby. I know most people really think that all man are into sex but in reality the are those who are just not into it and they don’t even have a problem down there. At the beginning I didn’t have a problem when we got married when I was 19 and he 34 but now I feel like my libido has risen and the guy is doom dead. I fully agree with you that using fingers can really get boring as I have ever stopped and just shifted my energy to joining things like the gym and take long walk just to ease the pressure but still the need is the. I would understand if I was not good looking and he also acknowledges that and can see the attention I get from the opposite sex but still when it comes to sex, , its a close activity. Some of my friends have suggested that I get from the side but to me cheating is a no go zone and I would rather stay like this forever with the man I love than do that to us especially to myself. So to me I will just have to accept and focus on more positive things that I’m blessed with andnmaybe one day I will wake up and things will be normal again.

  7. Dalu is tjatjarag, its not his problem to report. He should just make copies and support his friend in whatever decision he makes. Its one thing to advise your friend and its another to force them into action. He needs to sit his righteous ass down!

    Lee, maybe you both should seek therapy and he should consider going to a mens clinic, he seems to not have a desire either for sex or you, its seems like a deep problem.

    FYI, His phone being clean does not mean he is not cheating, he could have another phone which he keeps in the car or at work which you don’t know about or he knows how to cover his tracks, don’t rule out that possibility just yet!

  8. Uuuh ke sono ka Mtho shame hey, Thanks Mike. P.S you dont say thank you after sex, just tell/ describe to your partner how amazing, hot, awesome or fast that was, lol, thank you just makes it seem lame..

    QnA, Sex between intimate people is more of a mental and spiritual thing than it is physical. Try to talk to your partner so you can get the cause of his dislike in sex. Some people have come to find out later in marriages that their partners were once sexually abused as children and have never come out and faced it. If its just a matter of being bored, then Mrs Lee you need to up your 4play skills, make your man excited about coming home and doing you, send him naughty texts during the day, call him on his way home telling him just how you are getting ready to receive him, (Bantu people) invest in lingerie hleee… But yeah, talk love…

  9. Dalu shud stop acting like he’s holier than thou maan:( Mxo is doing what needs to be done A2Q sisi most men dnt admit when they hav erectile dysfunction so for him not being interested in sex it’s better than facing his prblm. Wena just be there for him and encourage him to see a physician.

  10. Yho Mike Umka iveki sana apha emdantsane umbani ngoku so oAsithandile bazafika engekho kle weekend if bahamba kle weekend shame…

  11. Tjerr that fool Dalu MST just take a chill pill n sit da F**k down mxm sies slf righteous pig…….!

    QnA sistas u didn’t give us a lot 2 work with here we cn only make assumptions abt ur sex life b4,bt I’m thinking if u married da sex was good 4 u 2 say I do n only start complaining now,if his not cheating n he has no desire 4 u he must have it elsewhere.He is either gay,cheating or he needs mens clinic his 2 young 2 lose his appetite 4 nookie…..

  12. @ Lee the best way to deal with that hubby of yours it to buy a vibrator and do yourself in his presence. Kore o berekolle vibrator eo come nice and otla bona otla thoma go ofa strong. Some men are selfish period.

  13. Thank u Mikey, @ Lee I wish we can swop partners!!!! Sometyms I even sleep @ our ensuit bathroom d way my husband likes sex!!! He knew b4 we married how I’m scared of it, at some point parents intervened and every Tom, Dick Harry got a chance to lecture me.despite all that he neva cheats, another major problem we only sleep without a condom when we plan kids, the way I hate sperms. If he forces it I wl vomit for the entire night. Don’t get me wrong I love my husband. So please don’t force him, try turn him on and leave him afterwards, he will b aroused afterwards, that’s what help us sometymes.

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