Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Three

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

We all have those friends we used to drink with and party with. Friends who would do notorious things in the name of fun until one day they come to you and preach abstinence, sobriety and Godly ways. Ninety nine percent of the time it’s because they have become born again and they behave like they are the first people to discover that Jesus Christ is real! Well with Dalu I can’t say exactly the same if you consider that he was Muslim and all but he was exactly like that. He could be holier than thou when he wanted but now was simply not the time to pull that on me! I had dodged a bullet and at this stage he was the only one with the recording. Even I did not have it! Asthandile had to take a taxi back as this was important. Crap, I didn’t say bye to my wife as I just ran out. I ran back. She was still sitting staring at me like I had gone crazy.

“Mxolisi… and then?”

She asked me. She was right? And then?

“You are probably going to be angry at me but I have to leave you here! It’s an emergency and it’s bad please my wife if ever there was a time you could give me a free pass please I beg you this is it!”

I explained to her. She looked me straight in the eye as though my eyes could tell her whether I was lying or not. That shit is bullshit by the way because if it were why bother having lawyers and courts.

“Ok fine you can go but you owe me!”

She said and gave me a peck on the lips. Why was I disgusted though that my wife had just kissed me? Eish. Tough. I will worry about that later.

Main Road in Cape Town has to be the narrowest road you can think off when you are in a rush. I should have taken the highway ah. I was annoyed with my thinking capacity when under pressure no wonder why Asthandile always was ahead of me! What an idiot! Eventually, and I say this with reservation I got there and guess what, he was not there! I called him but he did not pick up his phone. His PA, her name is Sinoyolo, said that he had an appointment with some police guy. I had the sinking feeling that I was more than just too late! Dalu was oldd fashioned, if he was in a meeting then his phone was either on silent or off. That was how it worked. Sinoyolo knew Dalu and I were close so she told me where exactly he was. It was quite close. Two things though with that. It being close meant that I could be there very quickly but the bad part was that it meant he could have been gone for a long time.

When I got there I found Dalu by the water thing.
“Please tell me you haven’t done it!”
I asked him immediately. He had not seen me approach him from the back. He was startled more the word.

“What are you doing here?”

He asked me but I was interested in that. What the hell was he thinking. He was ruining me.

“Did you hand over the tape?”

I asked him. He did not hesitate to answer as all self righteous people do who think they are in the right!

“Yes I did. They all listened to it and they have already been investigating that department meaning we looking at a commission of enquiry kind of scenario!”

He sounded very proud of himself. He could see the look on my face was one of doom and gloom so he continued,

“I am just doing the right thing!”
He said. He was genuinely surprised that I was doing think of stopping him. I asked him what the end result would be if he did this? I told him that it would mean that I too would be investigated and what would happen? If I paid a bribe that would mean that I was an accomplice to the crime making me criminally liable and that would ruin my law career. For the first time he blinked because I think it sank in! There are always consequences and people take that for granted.

“Ah I didn’t think of it that way!”

He said,

“You are fucken lawyer for crying out loud Daluxolo do you realize what you have just done! Do you?”

I was gutted!

“But that also means I would get in trouble if I don’t continue the case as I am in possession of criminal information so now am directly involved!”

He was right unless he was my lawyer. We were now in this together and there was no turning back.

“There is the person in charge. He is the one with pink shirt!”

Daluxolo said. It was even pink but who cares because I had a bigger problem.

He was white and this meant I could not bribe myself out.

I was fucked!

He walked to us and we were introduced by Dalu who now seemed a bit unsure of himself.

“I am Jerry. I don’t think we need alll the formalities.”

I laughed nervously as he said that.

“I didn’t realize that you will be here with us. I thought your lawyer was just searching to see what we can do?”

He said directing us to his office. My mind was so far away at this point.

“Look I spoke to my superiors and I am afraid to say that you might b
be arrested yourself as this is quite damning to all involved!”

He said. This is exactly what I had feared. Dalu immediately started to protest but our “friend” Jerry cut him off,

“It’s out of your hands. This is as serious as it gets and I am sorry to do this but officers are already on their way to take you in!”

He said calmly. Take me in?


“You can’t be serious! We brought a case to you for help!”

I protested.

“Indeed I am. You darkies think you can play with law. You have another thing coming!”


****The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Mike

Thank you for reading my letter. I am a 45year old married man and my wife asked me to read your memoirs. We were on the verge of divorce and it was largely because of me. She said I needed to be more open in life as I am more on the conservative side. We agreed that we do what I like as well as what she likes. We started going for dinners and parties. I enjoy them but I can’t cope. The music is too fast, girls especially at some of the parties too forward etc. My wife is 35. She said I was stifling her before as I hardly allowed her out but the more we go out together the more I become her bodyguard. I am jealous and always on guard when we are out. When we go out we go with her “girls” and some bring different guys all the time. It’s very hard for me but for my marriage to work I do it. She seems so much happier now but her dresses are shorter, clothes tighter and much as I find her sexier it’s hard not to be concerned. I forsee something bad happening.

Please advise me

Mr. Rich

44 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Three

  1. Mncim Dalu calling himself a lawyer but can’t think things through before making a decision,hope he’s happy now.@ Mr Rich did Memoirs help you or your marriage in any way?

  2. Your wife sounds like fun. The opposite would have been a complete boring cabbage. I think there should be a balance between the two of you would like to live. As for her “girls”, its not easy being single so some girls have to kiss a few frogs before they meet Mr. Right. And bringing boys to an outing with your girls is a way for friend to vet boys. Some men with side chicks would like their wives to be outgoing so see it as having the best of both worlds.

  3. Dalu man….yeses…i don’t like ppl who are self righteous…

    Mr Rich…lighten up or else you will explode,I think your wife loves you,she won’t suggest change of events and environment if she is not willing to love you forever,in marriage rules change,people change,she is not the same you married 10 years ago,she has grown,she still have dreams,your being a bodyguard is not gonna help,open up and love her,don’t even think of changing her,she feels good in all that she is wearing…go for counselling so that you may agree together in a calm state to change rules with your wife,anything you gonna say to her right now with all insecurities will make her rebellious…go see a psychologist they help.a lot

  4. Dalu deserves a very warm klap across the balls. Nxa who does such nje nje? Self- Righteous prick. Asathandile has just been given a new bullet to shot poor Mxolisi. Damn

  5. Daluxolo you are a fool and now I know what the mean when they say muslim people are selfish nxa man you wanted to make you name holier than you actual are Foooooooooooooooooooooooooooolyou derseve an award for being the most stupid person in2014

  6. Eish dalu maar..

    Mr Rich Honestly I am not married still in my 20s but i do know that there only solution to this problem is communicating with your wife, tell her how you feel. I know that it may be difficult to start but you will both get to the point where you understand what might be the cause of all this….maybe your wife feel bored, or you were always busy so she reckon partying should be her comfort’ on my side all i got is suspicions, but as for you Mr Rich you have the opportunity to know the truth and decide on way forward from them. GOD BLESS YOU

  7. Thanks Mike. “Yaqala inkantazo” *Velaphi Mjongeni accente*. Daluxolo – you’ve just done the opposite of your name – *Dalimpi*
    A to Q: will comment later

  8. Yho Mxolisi, I thought you were in deep sh*t but this here is over your pay grade darkie!
    When white people want to prove a point, Oh Mxo, so close yet so far… Astha now has every reason to continue cleaning you out and start a new life while you will be getting used to being someone’s wife in prison. Dalu oh what a fooooooool!!!

  9. Mr Rich, let her know how her dress sense is making you feel uncomfortable, not that you can make her stop. In a marriage, you compromise, and she has to meet you somewhere.
    2. The parties and her friends coming with new boyfriends everytime – yes that’s worrying. That’s why it is said when a person gets married she / he must be friends with ppl like them; who are also married, and gradually lose all the single ones.
    3. Marriage is tricky on its own, but it’s even trickier when there are huge age gaps. Have a 2 decades and some shintshi age gap with my husband, and I dress according to any early thirties woman; but I always make it a point that I show him what I’ve bought, try it on for him and get his comment – not that I need his stamp of approval, but involve him in the way I look.
    4. The most important thing here is communicating with your wife, loving each other unconditionally and being friends to each other – be able to discuss and view situations on a lighter note. Not everything has to be serious.
    5. Let her go out to parties, but she should also consider your feelings and tone down a bit, but you shouldn’t also be very strict – bodyguard tendencies, lol.
    Wishing you all the best, and remember – izinto ezincane lezi, don’t let them stress you.

  10. A_Q its actually cute that you guys go out together losen up. start inviting your friends along. would you rather have her go out like that with just her friends?
    concentrate on advantages and be more positive. love your wife and whats makes her happy should make you happy not grumpy. and ofcourse you are her husband, protector, whos supposed to be her bodygaurd? please be happy

  11. Daluxolo completely messed up my Friday yerrr, what an idiot, i-dom le bhari damnit!!

    Thanks Mikeesto, awesome as always.

    Mr Rich, I have a concern here. Yes people are suppose to have fun and be outgoing and all but until when? Another thing would be how often these parties are and if it is really necessary. You seem to be compromising a lot, what are you getting in return? Marriage is a 8way street( I’ll explain another day) and you shouldn’t only give without receiving. Short dresses? Maybe I’m conservative but Umfazi, at 35 should know better, knee lenght,maybe, but if shorter than that then kuzobane nkinga. People want to get married, and still want to fit into single life and what single people do, that’s nonsense.

    Your wife ought to act like one, and I mean what’s the point really, if you are uncomfortable and bodyguarding! At some point you will need to draw the line grootman, I don’t care how modern the world is, parties are were people get laid.. A married woman is fair game at a party I tell you know lie. Same as married man.

    Qoqa umuntu wakho and she needs to grow up… Gosh what is this world becoming… And everybody is actually condoning her and telling to to be easy, that’s absolute nonsense. Its high time we got back to our roots, slowly but surely. Whether use Sandton, Palaborwa or Matatiele. Unless ya’ll aren’t black ke, then its a different story.

    My 2cents

  12. Kodwa uDalimpi usenzani!!!!!! Stupid lawyer. Now Mxolisi igoing to jail after all he has done to avoid it. And Dalimpi must not even think os representing him. AGaaaaaaman. Pissed for Days.

  13. Shew BONGI… Thats so prejudice. So then by your logic we can deduce that all Christians are lying, cheating, corrupt abusers. Maybe think before you type. This is just a story and anyway one person’s conduct does not represent an entire religion

  14. I loathe Dalu.
    Mr Rich, u sound more like my husband so uptide. Loosen up or u’ll lose her. If she’s involving you, that shud be something. Jackzoro am just wondering, are you married? If you are, I feel sorry for whoever your married to.

  15. A2Q: Sir I think you got a wonderful wife right there!! If you’re wife was up to no good,she wouldn’t invite you in it!The fact that she dresses sexier is to make you attracted to her. She knows the competition is tight out there. If she was cheating,she would go out with her friends and her side guy,but she takes you instead!! Chill papa!!

  16. Mr Rich, my husband used to be uptight like that. Whenever we’d go out, he would be there to judge, watching how much cocktails I drank, monitoring my every dance move and what I said and how many guys looked at me. Until he decided to party it up with his friends without me, now he does everything in his power to get away from me to go out with his friends every weekend. The tables have turned especially now that I am pregnant, he feels that I belong in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant while he gives young girls in the club attention and he also gets attention from them. O ruta bari go phela and he becomes the clever one. He lies and becomes all sneaky. If I were your wife I would just keep the status quo as it is because once you discover what you missing out on, she will never catch you again.

  17. For the 1st time I actually agree with Jack… She is married and she should not be dressing like a woman whose fishing. Mr Rich seems to be compromising way too much and I have a feeling that at the end his silence about his feelings towards the way his wife is behaving will be the cause of their marriage breaking down.

    Abuti let your wife know how the way she dresses and her partying ways make you feel. Its not point making her happy whilst you are suffering in silence.

  18. Jack Z has a point,nd your instinct is right,something bad is coming if it not all ready happening,it’s like a guy with bad friends,time to go to d table nd renegotiate,ten to one,u are heading for a hard 1,good luck man,marriage. ……………..(shaking my head)

  19. hy Mr Rich.
    being married young as a women your are forced to give up a lot, Shes including you in her journey to find herself ,or make up for lost time as it may,she wants to go out and her in those short dresses is more for than anyone else in the club. Trust me its coming from a good place. What you need to do is join her on the dance floor and girate with your wife,then take her home and make love to her.
    enjoy this with her ,forget about the world and remember old tines before the kids and bills!!

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