I was soo hurt by my husband’s words “his only real child?” Why was he making this sound like it’s my fault, I wanted to strangle him, what about Neo, what the hell was he? I was so hurt my only answer to this was just floods of tears, he saw that I was crying and stopped the car on the side of the road and came and opened the passenger door, he apologised and said he didn’t mean it the way it came out, he told me how much he loves Neo and I and in his eyes Neo will always be his son. I wanted to believe him but the damage had already been done, I told him I was fine even though inside I was broken into small little pieces but he couldn’t see that and I was not about to explain it to him, even if I did he would not understand.
How do you make your husband understand the pain of knowing that another woman has his baby and you don’t? How do you make any man understand that as long as she is the baby mama and you not, she holds more power than you, it doesn’t matter that you are the wife and she’s not, it doesn’t matter that you share the same bed with the man every single night of your life and she does not, if he has once had her and tasted her and got her pregnant who is to say it won’t happen again? Marriage certificate means nothing but the baby means everything, I think maybe because marriage is just on paper and a child is something that you can touch and feel and is there forever. Ever notice how some baby mama’s as soon as she and the father of the baby break up and he moves on she will be constantly calling to say the baby is sick and notice how the baby daddy jumps and leaves you with your mouth wide open. Girls, ladies, women whatever they might call themselves but they always have a plan for their baby daddies, they never let them walk scot-free, this is why I had always told myself I would never be involved with any man who had a child unless if the woman was dead and buried and he took me to her grave to prove it, but God has a great sense of humour cause here I was married to a man with a kid outside our marriage a woman he had cheated on me with. Mthobisi was still apologising not that I cared I just wanted to go home and sleep and forget about this whole stupid day.
We got home and he said he would make us something to eat and told me to relax in the couch and watch some tv, while he was making food I fell asleep in the couch and was woken by him with food next to me, as soon as I looked at the food and the smell, I was up from the couch running to the bathroom, he ran behind me and again I started throwing up, now I was becoming worried maybe I really should think about going to see a doctor. Mthobisi was in the bathroom with me and he had that concern looked in his eyes and said this was all his mother’s fault, I had no strength, I was feeling soo tired, I washed my mouth and told him I was going to bed and we would talk in the morning, I didn’t even change into pyjamas I threw myself on top of the bed and passed out. I walk up the next morning to find myself in a nightdress, shame my poor husband had actually undressed me and dressed me I wondered how he managed to do that but knowing hubby he was very resourceful.
I took a quick shower and grabbed some plain yoghurt from the fridge and kissed my husband goodbye, he held me and wouldn’t let me go, he told me that we needed to talk about yesterday I told him I would go see a doctor during lunch time and he said he was talking about the Katlego and baby situation, my mood turned at the mention of that woman’s name but I had to act smart so I said it’s okay we can go ahead with the ceremony and do it this weekend, I could see the relieve in his face he said he would speak with his uncle to organise since him and his mom were not in good terms, I honestly didn’t care who handled what I just wanted to get the whole thing over and done with.
On the way to work I was yawning so much exhaustion had me by the balls, didn’t understand why since I had slept and had a good rest the night before. I got to work after 8 and I was told by the guy who sits behind me that Andile was looking for Cindy and I and said we should go to her office as soon as we arrived, what now I thought, Cindy was not yet there and since she had nominated herself as our spokesperson I was going to wait for her before going to Andile’s office. I ate my yoghurt while waiting and my phone rang it was She Rocks, she said she was resigning from her job and was selling the house and needed me to handle the sale of the house as she was not going to be around, I asked where she was going she said they had not yet decided but Siyabonga had asked her to disappear with him and start a new life somewhere, they would probably go somewhere in the rural areas start a new life and maybe even open a church, they were both very ambitious I thought, I wanted to ask if she knew that people in the rural areas don’t give a tithe of a R1000 like the people in Joburg, there is no church business in the rural areas, yes I called it business cause churches have become money making businesses but that’s a story for another day.
I asked if she was really sure about this and she told me it’s all she’s been thinking about, Siyabonga is the one for her and she was not going to let him go, she was going to make sure that things work between them, when a woman is in love there is nothing you can say or do to change her mind, I told her I would support her and she must let me know whatever she needs I’m there, she told me that she has cashed out all her policies and savings and should be getting enough money to get them started and live a cozy life for the next 6 months hopefully by then the house would have been sold, she had really thought things through, I really admired her for standing tall and proud for her man and I told her as much, she told me that when he had asked her she had doubts and had told him that she would think about it, so they will be meeting at lunch time is Sandton so she can break the good news to him that she will be going with him. I asked when will they be leaving cause we needed to throw her a farewell party she said she was not sure and would let me know after she had meet and discussed things with Siyabonga, she really sounded excited about this whole crazy adventure they were about to embark on, I was a bit scared for her, how do you leave behind everything you have known all your life for a man, I have seen that people are not always what they seem to be, we all have a past with secrets, some with bigger secrets than others but one thing I have learnt is everyone has that one dark secret that they would like to keep it closed and hidden and when that secret comes out, it shatters everything, do not go around trusting everyone you see and meet, you will get disappointed. I had actually forgotten that I was in an open plan office by the time I was done on that call; people were discussing my conversation like they were also part of it. Cindy had arrived I went to her desk and told her we had been summoned she said “let’s let her fry a bit, we’ll go to her in 2 hours times” this girl had death wish she wanted to be fired I swear and was dragging me in the firing line with her. I doubtfully agreed she told me to trust her she had a plan, since I didn’t have a plan I had no choice but to go along with this.
An hour later I got a call from Mfundo I had to go outside to take this he was fuming telling me how I had made a fool of him, told him I want the account back only to go behind his back and reject it, I tried explaining that Cindy was the one delaying the process he didn’t even give me that chance to explain instead he hung up on me, well that was a first and hopefully the last I was not about to have a man that I could not control, my husband was enough thank you very please. As soon as I got off the phone I went straight to Cindy’s desk and told her let’s stop playing these silly games, we walked to Andile’ s office, she was very sweet and polite as if we did walk out on her at McD’s the day before this was definitely not the bossy bitchy Andile that we were used to, damn Cindy had actually brought her to her knees, she was out right begging us to take the account even promised us an incentive, god damn Cindy agreed and said we would move back to our office the next day.
I knocked off and drove home to my husband extremely happy after knocking off. I was in such a good mood I decided to prepare dinner before he got home, took a bath and wore his favourite lingerie, a little something lacy black and blue and with sexy g-string, I put on perfume on and made sure I looked and smelled extra sexy, I loved my husband and there was nothing that I would not do in the world for him and I wanted our marriage to work. I decided that tonight was going to be about us and no one else. By 19:30 dinner was ready I had even lit the candles to make sure I set the mood right, I usually did these kind of things for my husband when I wanted something but this time I genuinely didn’t want anything this was my duty as a wife and it was time I fulfilled my duties. I sat on our dinner table waiting for hubby but the chairs were now starting to feel uncomfortable, I decided to go sit in the couch as I waited, big mistake, I fell asleep and was woken up by a ringing sound, it sounded very far I woke up, I got up looked around I didn’t even know where the noise was coming from it was just very irritating, I opened my eyes then stood up, walked to where the sound was coming from it was my phone I had left it in the kitchen, by the time I got to it the phone had stopped ringing, I had 7 missed calls all from my husband, damn I must have been real gone in my sleep to not have heard the phone ringing so many times, time was now 21:17, I was still in my lingerie, where the hell was my husband? My phone rang it was my husband again, first thing he said was “Lee where the hell have you been, I’ve been trying to get hold of you for hours now”, I calmly replied “I’ve been at home, waiting for you, where the hell are you?” he impatiently said “listen to me and listen very careful, you need to get out of the house now” I was not getting bored by this man’s nonsense now, “what’s that supposed to mean?” “Honey please trust me on this, you have to get out of the house now, please Lee this is a matter of life and death” did he say life and death, I ran to the bedroom with the phone in my ear grabbed some jeans and a t-shirt and didn’t even put them on just ran with them, I asked my husband where should I go? He told me to get the car keys and run to the car.
I couldn’t find the car keys, I was panicking, and running around throwing things all over the place moving cushions of the couch looking for the damn keys, my husband on the phone kept asking me if I have found them and me screaming “shit, no, I can’t find them anywhere” and him screaming “dammit Lee, think, think where did you put the fucken keys, we don’t have much time” I was sweating like crazy, my husband then said “okay honey, you going to have to go in the car and break the window, I will talk you through how to hot wire it” as crazy as that sounded I was prepared to do it, I said okay I will break the window as I was about to leave I saw the keys under the table I went for them I told my husband I found the keys, I could hear the sound of relieve from his voice, “now you have to run out of that house start the car and drive as fast as you can out of there” I agreed he said he will stay on the phone with me until I start the car, I opened the house door fearing the worst, with my bag, my jeans and a t-shirt in hand I was still wearing my lingerie I figured I will change once I know I’m safe. I didn’t run I sprinted to the parking lot nice thing about staying in a complex is there are never too many people around and thank goodness there was not a single soul around, I opened the car and jumped in, as I was about to start the car I felt something cold touch my neck and heard a man voice say “and where do you think you going?” then I heard the clicking of a gun sound being cocked. Ohhhhhh shit!!!