When I got to the gate there was no one! Lindiwe had called me to come to the gate yet now she was gone. Yes I had taken ten minutes to come out but would have been very odd to just get up and leave. I had to tell Asthandile that I had a colleague at the gate she was too preoccupied with her co conspirator to care. I called her and she picked up. She said she realised that it was a mistake showing up at my house so late like this so rather let’s do this in the morning because we had much to discuss. No complaints from me there! I had no energy for her nonetheless! I was no longer sorry that my wife had cheated because I did not know who this woman in my house was. I am not a naive person and much as I was falling all over my shoes since the beginning of this mess I would like to still believe that I was still Mxolisi Sibani, graduated 7th in his Law class from the University of Cape Town. I had confidence and I was smart. I was very much aware that my wife and I had both been played by Khanyi and that did not come much as a surprise because we had allowed her to do so. It’s easy to blame other people for our failures but when it comes too Khanyi we both had a reason to take a blame. However and above all, much as Khanyi had played us both there was an even bigger issue, my wife! If I had heard correctly and I cannot believe this even now, my wife had arranged for another woman to sleep with her husband? Is that even plausible. Her excuse being boredom? No that can’t be it. It did not make sense at the moment. There simply was too much to lose. Why would she do that? There are women who will genuinely kill a man. The prisons are full of them and usually and here is the irony, it’s not women that are in abusive situations in the marriage, it’s women that have it good that simply don’t know a way out. It’s easy to see us men as the bad ones but I stand corrected when I ask, how do you as a wife organise another woman to cheat with your husband so you can cheat too? How?
When we got to the dinner table it was obvious that this dinner too had been planned. Khanyi had told my wife I had invited her, possibly to out her on our relationship. I must say, I had not seen this one coming. I am not a conniving evil genius with a plan to take over the world, I will need red overalls and wellingtons to do that, rather I am an educated man who still believes in the goodness of people! How could I therefore have seen this one coming? There had to be an end goal though. The guy, don’t care much for his name was talking about investing in the stock exchange. Have you ever seen how these clever blacks believe when they have reached the highest stage of business acumen they speak stock exchange. I don’t know why they do that because derivatives don’t mean anything to me and I swear to most of them either!
Khanyi looked up and thanked me for inviting her to dinner. She said that it was a good thing having us all here at the same time! This was one of life’s cosmic jokes and it was on me. My wife had really asked another woman to… O crap hold up, I was never meant to have found out that my wife had cheated! This was not about that. How can I be so stupid? When my wife got married we had signed a prenuptial agreement. There is no lawyer who is worth his salt who will not ask for that before he says I do. One of the conditions of this prenuptial agreement was that, if I cheated then our divorce settlement would be split entirely in half. O goodness why had I not seen this. We had conditions such as ten years of marriage meant half the settlement, 3 kids (she had bargained me down from the original five I wanted and before you judge, there is nothing more beautiful than children!). Ten years or 3kids both meant she would be older if we divorced after that meaning the only thing that could trigger an “early release” so to speak was me cheating! Wow! I had been played hard even! It now all made sense. At the beginning I said that I was a fairly good looking man but I was never that guy that women throw themselves at, nope, all the time I spent at gym had not really made me more toned or muscular. I was a geek first then manly second. Why then would a woman like Khanyi who was quite a looker then hit on me the way she had? It was too good to be true and even then I had said that. From day one Khanyi had been in my face and my wife had pushed her to be in my face. Lol I am laughing to myself now because the chips were falling into place. Realisation at times makes you look like a fool. I looked at them together at the table laughing and jovial as though they were EFF in parliament, no worry in the world whatsoever! I now actually believed that Khanyi had been raped that day and again it is something that they had not planned for which threw a spanner in the works. Remember how my wife went missing that afternoon and I had been forced to take care of her parents whom also had not been part of their plans as in bringing Zimasa to us. Zimasa had spoiled a lot because she kept on saying I should be weary of Khanyi! I put my hands in my face at this meant and sighed.
“Honey are you ok? Should I get something for your face it’s swelling a little?”
My wife asked with so much concern you could swear she was TB Joshua sympathising with South Africans! I mean it was so hard not to see her as disingenuous because she was more concerned about her image and how she could get out with how much! I am very certain if I asked her right now why she had done this to me she would say that she saw a flying saucer before the thought came to her or better, the devil made her do it!
I told her I was fine. In fact, I was giving them the satisfaction they wanted by being moody and broody. I decided to act as though I was the happiest man on earth. It was my turn. I was not sure how to play it but I intended to turn the tables.
“Did I tell you that we are opening an overseas office in London and I am in line as one of the associates to man it? They offered me the job yesterday and I have to accept by end of next week. Not sure what to do?”
I lied. It was not London but Jhb but unless they were lawyers they would know.
“Wow, baby really? Oh my God London. Did you hear that Khanyi?”
My wife asked the table. Dwee! I had said that loudly enough that even the frogs outside had heard that.
“Isn’t London cold though? We from Mdantsane were it’s warm surely I would freeze!”
She said changing her facial expression.
“It’s 45 minutes away from Paris, Asthandile come on keep up! I would freeze my ass off for that any day!”
Boom! Khanyi had just dummified my wife and I could see a bit of colour leave her cheeks! That was not the hilarious part though. Ever seen how South African women from all walks of life think shopping in Paris will be the most ideal thing in life because somewhere they heard that it was the shopping capital of the world. Newsflash ladies, it is but only if you are white and skinny. The rest shop in shops like Mr Price so uhmmm….research people! Khanyi with her curves would certainly be shopping in supersize but that’s none of my business! Paris my ass! Stick to pep!
“What do you mean you have to think about it? Definitely we are going?”
I thought of asking her what about her boss but that was too low a blow even for me. It would seem like I deliberately made the lie to embarrass her so I had to wait for an optune time to use it! This was not it.
This woman wanted to divorce me. Maybe I should do myself a favor and have her taken care off! Light bulb moment, I mean I knew enough people to do the job and do it in such a way that it would look like an accident.
Did I have the guts though? Phew I sighed. She had made a fool of me so I will have the last laugh!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
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