Memoirs – Chapter Eighty Nine

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

I stopped my car on the side of the road by Baxter theatre. There were people coming out of the theatre and I could only assume they were coming from watching a play. Poor them because I swear the entertainment and suspense factor that was the ‘play’ of my life was much greater. The way things had been happening though! A man should be excited when his wife comes and tells him that she is pregnant. It’s not like we had been trying to get pregnant but it’s not like we had not either. So why did I feel like this? Why did I feel like I had been told I have Ebola and I had a few days to leave! This was no longer bad luck I was experiencing! I change my mind, my wife is more scary than Ebola! Too unpredictable but you get my point! No, there were African people involved and throwing bones for me to fail! I know the first thing that should have come to my mind was whether the baby was mine or not but at this point I had no energy for that debate! Pregnant! Imagine that! I tried to call Khanyi because she would know what was happening with my wife. They were too close for people who had virtually just met and the more I spent time with them the more I suspect they had known each other for longer. When I started this story I said Khanyi was a new friend but when I listen to their conversation some of the things they spoke about could not possibly have happened during the time I had known them together. It was just a nagging feeling I had but was not sure. I tried Khanyi again but her phone just rang. I needed someone else I could speak to who knew them both. I knew who but I did not have her number. Bulelwa! The girl who they had come with the day we met and I had also bumped into one night at Stadium on Main! I had to get those numbers! I knew they were there on my wife’s phone problem is the name Bulelwa is too Xhosa’s what Refilwe is to Tswanas meaning my wife would have three or four on her phone! Eish!

About my wife being pregnant I could not avoid that this could also be a lie! She was only saying this so she could stay in Cape Town. She had no morning sickness and just recently she said she had gotten so drunk at a party. Surely if you are pregnant you know when something is up! Besides she had been having periods for over ten years so how could she not know she had missed one! This woman was bad! I went to clicks and bought a pregnancy test for her. Its two minutes away from where I had parked. I bought three and she had to use all three as far as I was concerned! She must drink water if she can’t pee because I wanted to see for myself. If it was positive that’s when I would then ask the next question, whether the baby was mine or not! The problem with my wife was that she was so deceitful I could not trust what she said. I was once told that when a woman tells you, her man, that she is pregnant you can’t ask whether the baby is yours or not even if you are joking! That’s bullshit nowadays because with the way women are cheating (just like men) you will be stupid not to go check the dna if a child is yours! We had a case once where a man raised a son for 11years untill one day the son got sick and the man tried to save his child by donating an organ only to be told that yes they were compatible but the boy was not his! Yes, nowadays only a fool would readily believe the child is his no matter how much you think she loves you! I was not going to be that fool!

I headed back home and I found my wife in the TV room crying. I did not console her! I am not the one who made another man slip and accidentally stick his dick inside her!
“My husband I am so sorry!”
She crying going down on her knees. I was going to walk away to the kitchen to get her water so she could pee again but she came and held onto my leg whilst still on her knees. You know how a child does it if he or she doesn’t want you to leave her behind! I could not even move. I won’t lie it broke my heart in a million ways to see the woman I loved like this but I had to be strong.
“Asthandile I have three pregnancy tests here and I want you to pee on all of them! After we establish that you are pregnant then we will talk!”
I did not shout these words out! In fact I was very calm. She said she would do it. I told her I was coming with her to the bathroom of which she nodded her head in the affirmative. I think in her head she was asking herself how really we had reached this point. She got up slowly from the floor, be it clumsily, but I could see she was starting to lose it!

In the bathroom she pee’d on all three sticks and all three came out positive. There was no anxious wait because we already knew she was pregnant.

“Tomorrow we book an appointment with the doctor to see how far along are you?”

I said. She went to her handbag and came with a doctor’s letter which said 11 weeks. I said I see it but I want to be there personally when the test is done! We all watch Generations and all thesse soapies so you know these things can be faked. She looked at me in resignation, tears dripping down her cheeks and now her nose starting to run and said sorrowfully,
“…and now I suppose you are wondering if the child is yours?”
I looked at her dead into those tearful eyes and said,
“No doubt!”
Turned around and went downstairs!
Now I had to go calculate and try remember where I was the week of conception and who else was in her life at that point!

****The End****

Mikeatdiary (instagram)
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Mike

Last weekend I went to a family wedding and I ended up sleeping with my male cousin. By cousin I mean my mothers brothers child! I am so disgusted with myself and I just want to die. I have told no one about it even my best-friend for fear of being victimized and judge so will rather do it hear were no one knows me. I know I am going to sound naive when I ask this but are there any physical consequences that come after you sleep with a cousin. We were so drunk that night and we had to sleep at his house (all the kids), I am in matric by the way. We were the last ones up and shit happened. What’s worse I was even a virgin ah dear Lord! I keep asking myself what was I thinking and it’s too late now. We didn’t use a condom but I bought morning after. I was so embarrassed standing in that queue. I am losing my mind.

Please advise me

Matric Shame

51 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter Eighty Nine

  1. Tjoo!not a nice way to start a pregnancy Asthandile,sorry.Tsoo,as for you matric shame….le ge bareng.O wrong,wrong.Dikgomo di boela shakeng?Aowa Sesi not like this and you should just leave alchohol period.

  2. Tnx Mike, QnA: I understand hw u feel trust I hv one been n d sam situation. M nt sure abt physical consequences. Bt 1 tng I knw fr sure z d fact dat if u guys were close its gonna be awkward and u won’t feel free around him anymore. But jus try tokin to him nd see if guys can frget abt ds incident, nd move on wt both ur lives.

  3. Mxolisi please get f ur high horse.Its nt like u innocent urself.Ah!I mean is it realy worth it?If it was u,what would u do?bc am prety sure u would fast in prayer until u 4given.M really geting tired wif u saint Mxo.Divorce is nt even an option.Wake up and smell d coffee.Ah the communitx we live in.

  4. Thanks Mikeesto, super sad for Asthandile but the b*tch deserves it.

    Matric shame, don’t beat yourself up over spilt milk, its done and dusted. Sh*t happens when you are drunk and young wild and free.

    Keep it to yourself and let it be a lesson you will appreciate so better yourself as a person in all aspects,especially self control when toxicated.

    I shall not judge, but that cousin is your brother in my culture… Eeeuw!! Lol.

    Uzoba strong sani, get over it and focus on your books, you have final exams coming up so focus on that. You need to speak to him and tell him that this stays between you and it Never happens again.

    Uzoba strong.


  5. QnA, since it all happened when u were drunk, try avoiding alcohol not everyone can handle it once its in their system, there are still a lot of blunders u will make if u keep drinking like that. Let this be a lesson but you are not the worst person there are those who take off all their clothes in public when they are drunk, avoid alcohol my dear and everything will be fine.

  6. Q&A, HOW THE HELL DO YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT A CONDOM IN THIS DAY AND AGE “REALLY NOW, DONT THEY TEACH YOU GUYS ANYTHING IN SCHOOL?”, am so dissapointed in you shame. Sleeping with a cuz its OK, according to my culture dikgomo diboela shakeng, mara girl dont play with your life like that. GO GET TESTED!!!

  7. Mxo loves Astha, and she is aware, he must just stop acting like a saint, he made another woman pregnant himself, ba hlakane baswana moes batho ba ke dintja. He disgusts me sometimes, Asthandile is a bimbo though.

  8. Boredom is a dangerous thing, look what it did to Asthandile. I don’t think you should be giving her such a hard time Mxolisi cause you also got Lindiwe pregnant, and chances are that Asthandile’s baby could be yours………..Glass house=no stone throwing papa!

    Matric shame, what you both did was nasty but its done. Clearly Alcohol is not your friend as you don’t behave when you are drunk so stay away from it. Next step is to forgive yourself and move on and you and your cousin better keep that secret between the two of you, this is not something you want share with anyone close to you as secrets have a way of coming out.

    1. who is too say that Lindiwe’s child is his, no mention had been made of her life until they went to JHB ….maybe she did have a boyfriend

  9. Serves her right.How can she even think of defrauding her husband after doing so much for her?And the cheating was a slap on the face…she’s just too lose maan!!!

    Thanks Mike

  10. Ta Mike Awesome, but short.
    I don’t know if modern kids are twisted or wat. my days them virgins never touched alcohol, because of consequences, and the moral dilemma it gave them. Nowadays they drink to a pulp, and loose their innocence in the process.
    What happened to them virgins we had to court for a year if not more to get the cookie. You find that at school there are those girls who shag, and we all (boys) broke our virginity with, and learn how to shag.
    Not to be harsh Mike, please post stories from people with stories with a bit more substance and juicy. not the ones that a straight forward, she knows what to do, she will get the same advise from all us bloggers in assents.
    Even Jackzorro didn’t have much to say tl tl tl
    i can see another with just 20 odd comments for the day.
    Your blog is therapeutic in this hectic corporate life we are in

    1. Word!! I’m thinking, if the chapter is so exciting, the Q&A should be equal to the task. I’m being strategically muted by these rather dull letters.

  11. things are getting hotter and hotter di tla bowa ka Mxo le Asth
    Q&A- mara we have so many judges in this planet earth, when we ourselves have our own skeletons. Nana my advice to you is to pray about it and I salute you 4coming out and asking 4advice, in life you end up doing things that u never imagined to do ever. We all want to lose our virginity to a person we so love, so ngwana ko gae kneel down and ask 4 4givenes when God has forgiven u you’ll eventually feel it in your soul, your freedom will be back again and most importantly go get tested 4HIV and pregnancy. What life teaches us, is to never spent more time beating yourselves on what’s done but rather focus on what to be done. Pray and let God!!!

  12. Thanks Mike.
    A to Q: just pray that you didn’t contract HIV, and stay away from alcohol coz you can’t handle it. There’s no funny physical thing that will happen for sleeping with a cousin, it’s just that nje it’s not an ideal way to lose your virginity.

  13. …Ok, so Asthandile can’t count cause 11 weeks is almost 3 months not almost 2 month…this is getting interesting!!! Mikey…you never disappoint sani!

  14. Asthandile mara, she daid she is almost 2 months pregnant when she broke the news but now the letter says 11 weeks, which is which kanti? 2 or 3 months Mike?

  15. QnA lol im laughing bt also sad at the same time..laughing bcz its ur cousin dts jst fucked up but sad cz its ur 1st tym n u ddnt use protection i hope for ur sake u do an HIV test so u can sit knwng atlst the worst ddnt hppn to u..its gud u tuk morning aftas bt thr is more to sex than jst the pregnancy alone. Im not one to judge try not to live wt regrets u stl young focus on ur matric such thngs hpns u only human afta all…

  16. Q&A: From experience (not with a cousin tho) forget and move on, and DONT TALK TO YOUR COUSIN ABOUT THIS OVER THE PHONE OR VIA SMS, then they’ll be proof for all to see what you did. If you must talk about it do it face to face, young guys like to boast and compare notes. Lets hope you’re not pregnant and after 6 weeks plz go get tested. Good luck dear

  17. Mxo is such a beter kofi engasile mxm
    Awesome read Mikey

    A2Q- eish girl no more alcohol for you ne. Look what happened now. In black culture that’s your brother dear this cannot happen again. And please go get tested and go back after the window period u don’t know that ur brother was a virgin too. Otherwise what’s done is done and cannot be undone so beating yourself about it won’t help but depress u. Forgive yourself for the mistake and move forward. Good luck

  18. Somebody please remind Mxo that Lindiwe is also pregnant. As for Asthandile,stop being a cry baby yaz and start praying that your plan works coz I’m sure she planned this long ago.
    QnA: kid its done there’s no going back now. Forgive yourself and move on with your life. I would pretend it never happened. Good luck with Exams

  19. Is Mxolisi ever gonna leave his wife? I feel like I’ve been in the same chapter for way too long. Who cares if she’s pregnant? And I feel like this memoirs is turning into fiction, because which man would still live with their cheating wife after they found out she’s cheating? Really though! Its time we lost the Asathandile(sp) character, she’s irritating.

  20. Ey ake dumi goba astha..

    Yo wa matric oa mbhora..wa jiwa lenyalong by a cousin?? Ebile U ddnt value ur virginity, oa re fora wena kgale o jiwa, ne oka se lahle soo hai..o segole.

  21. Hey mike nyc read bt very short

    @matric shame: I also dated my cousin and we also had sex and didn’t use a condom I wasnt drunk or anything and I knew what I was doing, but I wanted it as much as he did! Its so wrong of u to blame it on the alcohol! Getting drunk doesn’t make u fogt who u are and u know and feel everythng tht happens that happens to you,only difference is that u not shy to do it. And no nothin is gona happen to you you can relax nd find a way to deal wth wat about! GOOD LUCK

  22. Mxo and Astha’s marriage is too toxic, it has too many loops in it and they just not making an effort, they really shouldn’t be together.

    Thanks Mikey

  23. Wow Asthandile is in deep trouble right there, if her baby is not Mxolisi’s bby then they are even both pregnant lol…..

    @Q&A Dear I’m trying to understand how you guys SHAGG when attending a funeral, are you are of the traditions behind funerals? U may not be preggies but have u thought about traditional consequences? Hopefully there isn’t much to worry about and maybe u need to stay away from alcohol COs this was such a bad way to lose ur Virginity….

  24. I have no doupt this is mxo s baby. He was hot as from preggising lindiwe and Asth catched the fish le yene. Khanyi be careful. My ex did that impregnanting 3 of us in a period of 10 months

  25. I share the sentiment with girl..My first time visiting grandparents at KZN,i met a female cousin who was same age(15yrs old)..She flirted tellime how i look alike with her bf,during the night woke up to take a pee & there she was outside tye toilet door waiting for me to come out.Without a word we just sneaked to her room & we fucked so hard (2 Rounds)..was ashamed in the morning & later on i came back to Jozi..Never seen her again+we didn’t use protection,am now 30 yrs.

    2ndly My step dad brought his two daughters from previous marriage..the elder sister knew the young one & i were shagging but never said a word.Felt bad again & went to stay with my aunt.

    3rdly Two years back i re united with my biological dad for the first time & was shocked to witness that i had 10 half siblings from my father(11 including me)but they were all not there that day.. Five of them are dad shared my contacts to all of them but the was one whom we cliked(don’t how) but we had a strong bond & she decided to pay me a visit.the day she arrived i was starting my night shift duties meaning my wife will come back when am doing my last shift(5ft day).

    Went to fetch her at the Taxi rank & soon we got into the we lost it,we kissed passionately & made love.we shared same bed for four days(no protection).my wife suspected that we shagged & i denied.after few weeks she went through my fone & saw aMsg Thanking of the Shagging & i still denied that the Text was meant for me.

    Am not bragging but feeling bad coz right now i distanced myself from friends & family coz only few of my Friends’s gf i didn’t Shag.

    To you my sister don’t be too much on yourself,some of us done worse than you did but still doesn’t make it right even i myself still can’t live peaceful with this disgusting memories

  26. Q&A : if you get pregnant, your child could be deformed. Since you are first cousins. Its a big possibility since your blood lines are so close. Be careful with morning afters, if your body temperature changes, you could still get pregnant. Its not 100% cure. Be careful

  27. Eish mara this family though. Do such really happen mara? I guess only a xhosa man would stay with such a deceitful woman. I know no Mopedi brother of mine would tolerate such nkebe shetse arile aborehwa as Seputla Sebogodi would say. Mxo leave that Woman abuti for her type destroy men peace by peace. Run brother run after all you have nothing to loose.

    @ lavaboy Yoh no comment abuti I am actually speechless, you made love as you put it with your biological half sister? Sis on you. Your wife is stupid for staying with you even when she knows about your infidelities. Have you no heart sleeping with someone whom you don’t know without protection? How can you be so ignorant about HIV… Nxa batho ba tshwana lewena gaba nyakege setshabeng gobane kelena le spreadang bolwetse bjoo.

    Matric whats done is done. Rapela sesi and Modimo wagago otla go o tshwarela. Lewena te tshwarele and otlo gele gonwa jwala!

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