I stopped my car on the side of the road by Baxter theatre. There were people coming out of the theatre and I could only assume they were coming from watching a play. Poor them because I swear the entertainment and suspense factor that was the ‘play’ of my life was much greater. The way things had been happening though! A man should be excited when his wife comes and tells him that she is pregnant. It’s not like we had been trying to get pregnant but it’s not like we had not either. So why did I feel like this? Why did I feel like I had been told I have Ebola and I had a few days to leave! This was no longer bad luck I was experiencing! I change my mind, my wife is more scary than Ebola! Too unpredictable but you get my point! No, there were African people involved and throwing bones for me to fail! I know the first thing that should have come to my mind was whether the baby was mine or not but at this point I had no energy for that debate! Pregnant! Imagine that! I tried to call Khanyi because she would know what was happening with my wife. They were too close for people who had virtually just met and the more I spent time with them the more I suspect they had known each other for longer. When I started this story I said Khanyi was a new friend but when I listen to their conversation some of the things they spoke about could not possibly have happened during the time I had known them together. It was just a nagging feeling I had but was not sure. I tried Khanyi again but her phone just rang. I needed someone else I could speak to who knew them both. I knew who but I did not have her number. Bulelwa! The girl who they had come with the day we met and I had also bumped into one night at Stadium on Main! I had to get those numbers! I knew they were there on my wife’s phone problem is the name Bulelwa is too Xhosa’s what Refilwe is to Tswanas meaning my wife would have three or four on her phone! Eish!
About my wife being pregnant I could not avoid that this could also be a lie! She was only saying this so she could stay in Cape Town. She had no morning sickness and just recently she said she had gotten so drunk at a party. Surely if you are pregnant you know when something is up! Besides she had been having periods for over ten years so how could she not know she had missed one! This woman was bad! I went to clicks and bought a pregnancy test for her. Its two minutes away from where I had parked. I bought three and she had to use all three as far as I was concerned! She must drink water if she can’t pee because I wanted to see for myself. If it was positive that’s when I would then ask the next question, whether the baby was mine or not! The problem with my wife was that she was so deceitful I could not trust what she said. I was once told that when a woman tells you, her man, that she is pregnant you can’t ask whether the baby is yours or not even if you are joking! That’s bullshit nowadays because with the way women are cheating (just like men) you will be stupid not to go check the dna if a child is yours! We had a case once where a man raised a son for 11years untill one day the son got sick and the man tried to save his child by donating an organ only to be told that yes they were compatible but the boy was not his! Yes, nowadays only a fool would readily believe the child is his no matter how much you think she loves you! I was not going to be that fool!
I headed back home and I found my wife in the TV room crying. I did not console her! I am not the one who made another man slip and accidentally stick his dick inside her!
“My husband I am so sorry!”
She crying going down on her knees. I was going to walk away to the kitchen to get her water so she could pee again but she came and held onto my leg whilst still on her knees. You know how a child does it if he or she doesn’t want you to leave her behind! I could not even move. I won’t lie it broke my heart in a million ways to see the woman I loved like this but I had to be strong.
“Asthandile I have three pregnancy tests here and I want you to pee on all of them! After we establish that you are pregnant then we will talk!”
I did not shout these words out! In fact I was very calm. She said she would do it. I told her I was coming with her to the bathroom of which she nodded her head in the affirmative. I think in her head she was asking herself how really we had reached this point. She got up slowly from the floor, be it clumsily, but I could see she was starting to lose it!
In the bathroom she pee’d on all three sticks and all three came out positive. There was no anxious wait because we already knew she was pregnant.
“Tomorrow we book an appointment with the doctor to see how far along are you?”
I said. She went to her handbag and came with a doctor’s letter which said 11 weeks. I said I see it but I want to be there personally when the test is done! We all watch Generations and all thesse soapies so you know these things can be faked. She looked at me in resignation, tears dripping down her cheeks and now her nose starting to run and said sorrowfully,
“…and now I suppose you are wondering if the child is yours?”
I looked at her dead into those tearful eyes and said,
Turned around and went downstairs!
Now I had to go calculate and try remember where I was the week of conception and who else was in her life at that point!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
Last weekend I went to a family wedding and I ended up sleeping with my male cousin. By cousin I mean my mothers brothers child! I am so disgusted with myself and I just want to die. I have told no one about it even my best-friend for fear of being victimized and judge so will rather do it hear were no one knows me. I know I am going to sound naive when I ask this but are there any physical consequences that come after you sleep with a cousin. We were so drunk that night and we had to sleep at his house (all the kids), I am in matric by the way. We were the last ones up and shit happened. What’s worse I was even a virgin ah dear Lord! I keep asking myself what was I thinking and it’s too late now. We didn’t use a condom but I bought morning after. I was so embarrassed standing in that queue. I am losing my mind.
Please advise me