To say I was feeling vulnerable would sound like an excuse but I was at my lowest. My life had literally been turned upside down by a number of unrelated events and I wanted an escape, I wanted to forget, for the first time in my life I understood why people use drugs and if I knew how to use them I would have went and got myself a fix, but because I had never done them it was too late for me, they would probably knocked me out cold so that’s one thing I was not going to start using now. I asked Mfundo what he wanted to talk about, he came close and said this and started kissing me, his lips felt so soft and welcoming. It felt like I had been waiting for this moment all day! Firstly he took off the jacket I was wearing and roughly threw it on to the floor, he was not being gentle and I loved that but I warned him not to leave any bruises. No woman like bruises no matter how passionate your love making is. He lifted me up onto the desk, it was not even his office but Andile’s, my boss who thought that she shit chocolate and after the bitch kicked Cindy and I out of our office this felt like the perfect revenge. Women with power tend to oppress other women. This was not making love, this was straight fucking as he went down on me with his tongue making circles where it mattered most and I must admit I orgasmed twice before he even came up for breath! I loved this! This is how a man should handle me. This is how I wanted it. Not the sissy way I had become accustomed to. I felt like the forbidden fruit and I loved it. I loved the danger of the moment and the power of reclaiming my body. I loved the independence of the moment and just being able to feel young and carefree again. I pulled his head into me holding him into place just to hold him there a while longer. Finally the moment of truth came, fine it wasn’t the first time we had done but every time felt new and fantastic. He put on a condom and penetrated me with such force my sub conscience screamed hallelujah! I thoroughly enjoyed it. I clung on to him for dear life as though I owned the very breath he breathed. It was warm and steady and I could smell a bit of mint in it. Its not like waking up next to someone in the morning and they want a quickie before work. It was well thought out and I loved the effort. When we were done and I was putting on my bra my phone rang. He turned around and asked, “Is that your husband” and casually without even panicking I picked up the phone and my husband asked what was for dinner and if he should bring anything, I told him nope I was going to cook but dinner will be late so I advise him to bring a snack or two. I told him that I loved him and he quickly said I love you too before he hung. Funny enough, I truly meant that.
I quickly called a cab to come and fetch me and Mfundo said he could drop me home, I told him “no” under no circumstances was he to go anywhere near my husband things were already at a boiling point between the two of them and I didn’t want an explosion on my hands, he told me he was sorry that I had lost their account, but his bosses were putting pressure on him and we were not delivering, I told him that I was going through a lot and he knows it and the least he could have done was stand up for me, he said he would speak to the board and try and get me and Cindy back on the account, the power of a P*. I told him I needed to get going, we both walked out luckily there was no one around, he helped me to pack up then we walked outside to go stand by the boom gates to wait for the cab a few minutes later it arrived I jumped in and left. When I arrived home my husband was already there sitting in the dark, I switched on the lights and told him I will start cooking he said he had grabbed takeaways for us on his way back. I told him I was tired and needed a shower, I went and showered, I felt soo guilty and dirty. I don’t care how brave you think you are but when it comes to affairs there is always that feeling of being dirty and cheap and it never hits you when you are busy with the deed it always hits you afterwards when you are alone. I scrubbed every inch and part of my body I wanted to make sure there were no traces of what I had just done. I finished showering and found my husband in bed fast asleep, I guess the lack of sleep from the night before and the long driving today must have got him exhausted.
Next morning my husband told me he would be working from home and I could use his car to go to work, I kissed him goodbye and drove to work. I went to my cubicle and started working, the guy who sits behind me was having a fight with his wife, everyone around was quiet acting like they are working meanwhile they were all listening each time he would swear at her you would hear the sounds of shock from people but the guy was so focused on this fight that he didn’t see all that was going on around him, this is why I hate open-plan office, I decided that I was going to do everything in my powers to make sure I went back to that damn office. I decided to ignore the drama going on around me and listen to music on my headphones and work. Lunch time, Cindy invited me to go to the canteen to go have lunch with her, she said she heard Andile pissed of this morning cause someone had mixed up all her files and papers that she left on her desk the day before and she was going off at the cleaning supervisor about her people messing up her work, I wanted to laugh knowing I was responsible, Cindy was complaining about how unfair they were being for kicking us out of the office, I partly blamed myself for it, cause I was the one who was always absent from work with all the drama going on in my life. During lunch my husband called to say his mom was being discharged and he was going to go with one of his friends to pick her up, he told me she will need someone to take care of her while she recovered and he thinks it would be best if we go stay with her for a while. What? Was this man insane? Me and his mother under one roof? He begged me and told me that if we stayed with her we had better chances of her telling us the truth about our daughter, my husband and I had been avoiding talking about our daughter since he found out, he said to me in a whisper “I want to find our little girl Honey, we owe her that much, she deserves to know she has parents who will love her and do anything for her” that just brought tears to my eyes, I agreed to staying with his crazy mother he told me he had already packed my bags and when I knock off I should go to Davyton and not home.
At 5 o’clock I was packing up I knew how bad traffic to Daveyton was and I was hoping not to get caught in traffic. I arrived and my husband was already there, the last time I was at the place I had caused soo much havoc that I was ashamed to be back here again, my husband’s other car was still there, the windows had been fixed. I got in and greeted my mother in law, I made small talk with her, asked how she was feeling and how the hospital was then she demanded tea and said she was hungry, she was in a wheelchair and would be attending a lot of physiotherapy to try and be able to walk again. I went and started cooking, I swear if I had poison I would have poured it in her plate. She hates my cooking, as usually she complained about there being too much salt on food and I had actually forgotten to pour salt, stressing about her was a waste of time. Mthobisi said he was going to take care of something and would be back later so I was left with his mother, trust my husband to do that to me. I went and fixed up Mthobisi’s old room for us to sleep in, the witch had put a pictures of his daughter, the child he had with Katlego, she looked to be about 6 years old. I snapped, I grabbed the picture and went to my mother in law and asked “who is this?” I said pointing at the picture, she looked at me and smiled and said “that’s my granddaughter” I was trying very hard to hold myself together “why would you put her picture in our room?” I asked her, “it’s my house, my rules, I can put pictures wherever I want, if you have a problem with it, there’s the door she said pointing”. I was now fuming, I wanted to grab her but she was in a wheelchair so I had to tread carefully. Now this I had not planned to say, it slipped out, I said so while you busy loving other people’s daughter’s, what the hell did you do to my child? She gave me a confused face. I screamed, “I know you stole my daughter, I want her back, tell me where she is or I am calling the police right now to arrest your ass, I don’t care that you in a wheelchair there are lots of people in jail who are on wheelchairs you won’t be the first.” She looked at me with pity in her eyes and asked “are you done making a fool of yourself? You have no daughter you have a son.” I told her about the blood tests and how we saw her switching babies, the look on her face I thought she was going to have one of her seizure’s but thank goodness she didn’t. She calmly said “I under-estimated you, you are smarter than you look. Do you really want to know what happened to your daughter because the truth is not so pretty and knowing how weak you are I doubt if you will be able to handle it.” I said I would be able to handle the truth, I was ready for it. She asked if I remembered that when I was a few months close to giving birth we had gone to stay with her, I remembered that because that was the only time she was ever nice to me when she wanted to steal my child. She asked if I remembered the day I gave birth, I said I did, Mthobisi had to leave and go on some mine out of town the day before but I was only due 3 weeks later, I went into early labour, my mother in law drove me to the hospital and we had planned for a natural birth but when we were in hospital I was told there were complications and I had to do a caesarean as this was now urgent. Everything happened so fast I was having a bad reaction to some medication on the drip, I did not even get a chance to see what my baby looked liked or what sex he or she was I was unconscious for the entire day, I only got up the following day and my mother in law had told me that I had almost died and they had been worried and only then did I see my baby. I asked her again “what did you do with my daughter?” She looked at me with tears in her eyes “what I did I did to save my son from pain and I did it to save your marriage, you should be thanking me.” I slowly asked what she meant by that, how can swopping babies save our marriage, Mthobisi didn’t care what the sex of the baby was as long as he or she were healthy. She said that’s the problem, my child was not healthy, when I was having complications the baby was also having her own complications, a few hours after I had given birth she passed away. Tears just flooded my eyes, I was speechless, my husband had been standing by the door this whole time listening we just heard him ask “and you didn’t feel it was okay to give us an opportunity to bury her with dignity.”
The battle was now on Son versus Mother.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)