This woman udlala nami! Had she forgotten already what she had said earlier on. The problem with lies is that they are very hard to stick to! Why on earth would she have been that terrified of me had she said that in the first place. Her words were,
“I slept with them both, or I think one, I can’t remember…”
That’s what she said.
“You are lying”
I screamed! I quoted her words and she said,
“They are a couple and live in a bachelor pad! Did you want me to sleep on the floor as well?”
I was incredulous. Did she expect me to believe this bullshit. What was wrong with Asthandile really. She was trying to retract what she had said by lying her way out of it.
“What does you sleeping on the floor have anything to do with what you said earlier today? Why are you treating me like I am stupid?”
Huh! Ok let’s be fair, if gay guys are feminine why would he give up his bed for you? I was in a jam! What the hell was going on? My wife had neglected to say that she shared a bed with a gay couple which yes I would have been angry she slept out but I doubt that I would have reacted like this! Living in Cape Town is very different from living anywhere else in the country. Cape Town is the most liberal city in the country hence her explanation was very plausible. She did work in the entertainment sector after all.
“Why did you not say that in the first place?”
I asked her furiously? Was she making this up to divert the wrath that was going to come from me? Why had then asked if I wanted a divorce! Only a guilty person does that. I had more questions than answers! She had even been prepared to go home to her parents after this. I was being played here. Something was rotten in her story and much as I could smell it, I did not have the tools to source the location of the stench!
“I can’t believe you thought I had slept with two men! Is that how lowly you think of me? Am I a common slut to you?”
She asked angrily! The tide was turning very quickly against me but what would anyone have thought after all this? Legally I would look at the facts, we had a fight, she left the house and came back the following day, she said she slept with two men after getting really drunk and already she had a precedent of not being able to control her hormones when drunk! Any reasonable man would have come up with that conclusion! Moreover with all the mysterious things she had been up to lately then she will be totally justified!
“Mxolisi answer me! Did you think I had sex with two men!”
She screamed. Before I could even respond she was hitting me! Yes my wife was clapping me and punching me and kicking me all at the same time! It had happened so fast by the time I blocked her and held her down she had thrown in quite a few hits and yes it was fucken sore! Who says woman can’t fight?
I screamed back now obviously angry as well. I had not doubted her for the fun of it!
“Or else what?”
She dared me!
“Do you want to hit me? Hit me then? It’s what you want to do anyway! I see it in your eyes lately everytime we argue!”
She said breathing heavily. The words were barely coming out of her as she was gasping for breath. She was so angry.
“I don’t want to hit you but if you hit me again I am going to beat you up like a child who stole the last money in the house!”
“I am going to let you go now but do not hit me or else!”
I said menacingly. I didn’t see it coming. As soon as I let go of her she slept me so hard I stumbled backwards. My ears were ringing.
“Hit me! I dare you to hit me! You think I am a whore so hit me like the whore you think I am!”
She dared me. I needed to get out of here before this woman made me kill her. Satan had entered my house and he was telling me that this woman needs a beat down badly. I pushed my way out of the room ushered by claps and kicks and screaming!
Zimasa was standing outside her door! Why couldn’t she just stay in her room? I was not sleeping here tonight! I took my car keys and drove out. She needed to calm down otherwise there would more fighting. So much for me getting to revenge. I was the one who had got the beating. I just hoped my face would not swell because walking into work with a black eye was not on. I don’t believe in hitting women. I simply don’t.Sitting in the car I got to reflect. How had I failed so spectacularly at this. Had Khanyi set me up for this? I did not know what to think. Now I could not even demand to meet the two gay guys she said she had slept at because she now had the upper hand but fuck that, she said they were interns right, tomorrow I was going to show up at work.
I booked a hotel and pretended to sleep as I had so much on my mind. It was a torrid night. In the morning I took my spare suit out the boot put it on and when to work. I smiled at everyone that morning as though the world was beautiful even though it was not. I know what my wife had said that morning so no, she was not turning it on me. At 10. I dashed to her office. When I got there that receptionist looked at me with what I can only call pity in her eyes. She showed me in. Why would she do that? As soon as I walked I saw my wife, she was standing in their open plan facing the door. She strode toward me confidently but I could see she was fighting hard to stay composed. Ok maybe I had miscalculated this. She kissed me on the cheek and hissed that why was I there.
“I came to mkae peace, apologize to you for what I said and to your friends for you having to sleep out!”
She looked at me as though she was saying, like really!
“You will embarrass me! Go away!”
I said no and warned I would stand on a chair and scream out my apology so that they can hear me.
“Fine, let’s go!”
She said. And I walked behind her. When we got to some desk we found two guys sitting there,
“This is Nitchiel and Leeroy, my friends whom I slept over at!”
She said casually but I could she see she was hinting that I behave.
“Oh you didn’t say how gorgeous he was can I have him?”
The one called Leeroy said I pray playfully! No I was not flattered at all, I was disgusted! What the hell? How can he say that about a straight man to his wife? I felt so emasculated at that moment. Nitchiel (isn’t that a girls name?) then intervened and told the obviously more girly of the two to behave.
“We kept Asi safe for you at the party! She thought she could outdrink us but we’ll, we puzing champions! The tequila just devasted her surbubian ass!”
Leeroy said again! What’s wrong with this guy! He had no off switch! I could see why my wife would say she wants a gay best friend because he was like all over the place like a puppy!
“Eh, thank you for that. We were in a bad space so I think she was lucky to have you!”
I obviously did not mean that but I was not sleeping out of my house again and I had to regain my wife’s favor. I don’t know if she saw through my ruse or not but she came and kissed me and said,
“He is the best husband ever!”
I don’t know what sounded more condescending her saying that or me saying she was lucky to have them.
“No problem darling! You can both come sleep over anytime!”
Leeroy again said! Say what? What’s wrong with this guy? If it was any other day I would have reacted. Men are from Mars not Venus! He was too forward and out of order BUT and I say but, he was gay so should be tolerated because at least my wife won’t cheat. He was much better to have as a friend than Khanyi because female friends usually lead your wife to stray.
“Honey, we have work to do, we will talk at home!”
My wife said. It was her not subtle hint to get the fuck out of there. I got it. I left.The lady at reception looked at me with pity in her eyes. Her name was Azile and every time I have seen her so far I have mentioned her.
“My lunch is in two minutes, take me out for lunch and I will tell you a beautiful story!”
I smiled wearily and showed her my wedding ring.
“I know you are married silly but I am the only one here who can be your eyes and your ears and already I have a beautiful story to tell…”
Finally a break! Ok I was biting. I agreed and we walked out together. It did not look suspicious at all as some people were already walking out for lunch. She did not seem to mind who saw what and when.
“Everyone is talking about your wife in the office and what happened at the party!”
She said calmly. I had not told her about the party meaning that the rumour had already started.
“You were at the party?”
She nodded in the affirmative and took out her cigarettes! That’s another thing about Cape Town, the smoking! It’s like they have never read a health label!
“R1000 and I will tell you what I know!”
I should have known, Sies! She wanted to extort me for money!
“I don’t have that kind of money. Thank you and goodbye!”
I said standing up.
“Don’t be an idiot! You have the money and I don’t. I have the information and you don’t! It’s a win win situation! What’s your peace of mind worth?”
She asked without betting an eyelid. This world was expensive! I told her I don’t have cash on me and she knws it she took out her phone and looked at a message before saying,
I know I should have laughed but I could not. A friend of mine, true story this, was stopped by the police for speeding and when he did not have the bribe he was asked to E Wallet. This is as recent as last week and is a true story! Nothing surprised me any more about this rotten country. I did the ewallet and I saw her smile!
“Your wife was at the party two nights ago. We were surprised when she came alone because she is close to that homewrecker Khanyi!”
I did not understand because Khanyi was not part of the story so go on,
“She was drinking a lot and naturally every guy asked to dance with her so they could touch her and they did. One girl said she saw her being fingered but I don’t trust the girl so won’t put it down as fact”
You see what’s wrong with alcohol. Doesn’t matter where you are or what a lady you are during the day, if you get drunk in a public place that involves dancing you will be groped and half the time you won’t even remember how it happened! I was so disgusted but when have you ever dumped someone for being groped. I was a broken man.
“Whom did she leave with?”
I asked her and she said,
“I am not sure but I know that the boss rescued her from the situation and sat her down. He pumped her with water that’s all I know!”
I was not sure what to think.
“What about Leeroy and Nitchiel?”
She looked at me a bit surprised and asked me what about them? I had to play this carefully.
“Where were they?”
I think she was confused as to where I was going with this.
“Nitchiel lives in Paarl and never comes to parties like these because it’s too far. Leeroy was not there I am certain of because he goes where ever Nitchiel is so if he was not there then Leeroy was not either! How do you know them?”
See why I said I smelled a rat! I told her the apartment story and she scoffed at it saying,
“Those two do not have an apartment as they both stay at home with their mothers!”
She said she had to go. Lunch was over in any case and thanked for the money and wished me good luck. I gave her my card and begged her to tell me when something else is up so that I can catch my wife in the act! I had no leg to stand on as going to argue with her would be met with denial and still did not know whom she left with!
People say revenge is petty, fuck them, I was going to do exactly that! I was going to fuck everyone she loved starting with Zimasa and if her mother was not so ugly I was going to do her too! I was going to destroy her then divorce her! I was not done, I was going to encourage Khanyi to introduce me to her sister, and I know she had a younger sister who went to Cape Peninsular University of Technology. I was going to fuck her too! You see with men, when it comes to revenging on a woman, don’t beat her up, fuck those she loves most and she will never ever forget you because she can’t dump her own family meaning they will remind her of you every day! That’s revenge! I did not want her anymore but I was not going out with a whimper!
Go get groped by a donkey for all I care! I was pissed off and she won’t even see it coming seeing now that she thought she had me by the balls!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Money is evil Mike now I accept. People think dating a rich man is the ultimate but when you think about it it’s not. I was married to him for 6 years. Rich guys own everything because they can pay their way out of trouble. When my husband started cheating with younger girls I knew about it but for the fear of losing everything I tolerated it. Obviously rich guys have rich friends and us the wives get to hang out together. We all had similar stories of his “business trips” and the women involved. We became sisters in our sharing of our men. My husband was not that much of a talker and when I accused him of cheating he would say “divorce me ke” if I thought he was cheating. It’s like he did not care. He has several lawyers and so on. I work myself but walking away meant too much to lose. I often read comments to your letters that talk about dignity and having your pride but those two make you feel better but will never fill up your stomach, pay your bills (which after you are married rich need him to pay for as you can never afford). He then brought a girl home once when I was in the house. I took a golf club from his golf bag and I beat them both up. The girl ran away and when he tried to go after her I told him I would burn the house down by the time he was back and insurance does not pay for arson. He then divorced me. I thought no because he was cheating the court would be fair but he had three powerful lawyers against my one. From living in a mansion, having a quarter of a million budget a month, driving a Range, his porsche etc I am now getting 10k a month from him. That’s all I got from the divorce and we had no kids! Once I remarry that goes away too! I know the readers will say at least I walked away with my pride but who am I kidding. Even your old mutual friends stop talking to you because you are not from that life anymore. It’s the most weird experience I am lived it.