I wanted to die. There is no other phrase to use! I wanted to die. Surely she had made some mistake in what she had said. Not only had my wife cheated but she had been in a threesome with two other men at the same time. My knees felt weak and I collapsed into a bench in the park. No maybe it was me who had heard wrong? Should I go ask her again? What if she says it again and it confirms it? What would I do then? Who was worse though? Me who had slept with my colleague and her new best friend or her who had slept with two men at once? That does not even make sense in my head? This was my wife I was talking about! She had chosen to confess and now I wish she had not. I was disgusted by her at the mere thought of what she had done! She had to pay for it! I was not going to let her get away with it! That thin line really does exist, the one between love and hate! It’s a fact! The reason why most people, well it’s usually women to be fair, absolutely hate their exes is because they loved them once! This is usually true. I loved my wife dearly but she had done what? I was not going to spoil a baboon like this! I was going to punish her and I was not going to divorce her either! Hell no! She did not deserve it! That was too easy! I was angry. I was confused. I wanted to scream but I could not. Imagine a black man in Cape Town screaming in the middle of Adderly Street? Nope, not wise!
I had to go back to work. At least this was the one thing that seemed to have worked for me. The matter had been resolved in such a way now they were talking holidays etc. I had really wanted to take my wife as she deserved it after the stress I must have put her through but what had happened in the last two minutes had probably harmed us forever! I honestly do not get why a married man or woman would go confess after cheating. I don’t care how born again you will be on the day you do and how matter you cry because that destroys your marriage forever. You will never fully trust your partner again because the thought that someone else touched them will always haunt you. As I crossed the road to enter my office building I almost got hit by a car! That’s how much I was not concentrating. I had to take this like a man. I had cheated too but not like this! A threesome? With two men? For a married woman! Ah, I did not know what to say.
When I got into the office I resolved that come what may I was going to look happy and normal. Carrying your heart on your sleeve in the work place is pathetic. Most people are suffering in their homes but you will never know this because at work they keep it professional. When I got into the office my boss came to see me again. I hope he had not changed his mind. He came to give me the name of the travel agent I would be using and said everything was sorted all I had to do was call in and make the arrangements. I thanked him. He said he was glad that matter had been resolved because he liked working with me. What a lie! I had spoken to him directly less than ten times since I started working here but white people are good at this sucking up business. I went back into my case load and called a few of my clients just to assure them that I was still on the boat not that I had to. I was a bit of a celebrity at work though as many people kept on passing through my office as though to make sure that I was really back. Never trust anyone you work with especially in the private sector. Just a few days ago they were sure I was being fired and no one had sympathised and now they were pretending to be happy I was back! All in all work wise my day was decent.
On the way back I started plotting on how I would revenge of my wife. I had many options on how to! People don’t get this, when you are in a relationship and something like this happens, if you do not react as a man your wife will think that the reason why you did not react is because you yourself are up to something. Damned if you do and Damned if you don’t. Yes I was doing this from an evil place in me but that is the reality of relationships. Of all the situations you have, this one you react to!
I called her. At first she did not pick up but about five minutes later she called me back. It was loud where she was so she said she had had to go find a quiet spot. She was still very frightful in her voice. I asked her where she was and she said that she was at the bus station booking a bus to go home! I asked her why she was going home. She said that she had messed up so badly she had to leave so that I don’t kill her in her sleep. I don’t think she meant that as a joke. Wise woman but she was not going anywhere! I told her straight up if she got onto that bus she must never come back again. I told her that I will divorce her before the bus even reaches Mdantsane so she better think carefully about this! She was stuck! Even her voice sounded it! I told her I am going to get home and go to the gym. When I came back I want to find her cooking at home! If I come back from gym and she was not there, well, she might as well get on that bus now! I hung up.
When I got home I found Khanyi gone. Her things had been packed and the room empty. I had forgotten that Zimasa had started school today. She was still in uniform and was doing her homework. High school. She asked me what she should cook and I told her not to because her sister cousin was coming to cook. She sounded a bit surprised when I said that but I think she was too busy with her homework to care.
I got ready for gym and I left. I won’t lie I hate gym to be honest. There are these big buff guys with muscles bigger than my head that lift very heavy weights whilst looking at themselves in the mirror. Like wtf! I am part of the crew that struggles with 20kg weights so you can imagine the embarrassment. I would rather go dance with the women in the classes! Not even sure what that does for my physic but I am certain that with all the bending over women in there at least I get to be a pevert and enjoy a free show. I will worry about Asthandile later! When I got there I was not disappointed! Ass everywhere! Gym was meant for thick bodied people and this place never disappoints!
Eventually I left. When I got home I did not see my wife’s car! She had gotten on the bus? A bit of panic set in! Eh, I don’t want to lose my wife. When I entered the house, there was food on the stove but on Zimasa in the tv room!
I was about to ask where my wife was when she walked in from the guest room. She had not heard me enter and was startled. She stop and looked at me. I could see the absolute fear in her.
“What for dinner?”
I asked cheerfully that it even confused her!
“I hope you did not make broccoli I hate that shit!”
I teased her! She feigned a smile!
Stupid bitch though she could get away with cheating on me!
The things I was going to put her through!
I smiled back!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you thank you for a wonderful read!
I am 17 and I am a sugarbaby. My mother knows this and much as she has shouted at me for it I think it relieves her of some of her stresses. My father passed away in 2010 and our relatives accused my mother of killing him. They took half of our things and things were really tough for us and my aunts (father’s siblings) beat up my mother. It was bad. I have two siblings. My mother had to make means and got a job as a cleaning lady in a bank. We lost our house etc so to cut it short we were broke. I moved from my suburban school to a township one and I struggled to cope. I too was angry at my mother and for what I don’t know. I then met a very well known national politician who became my sugar. He started helping me first with pocket money, got my mother a decent job and now all three of us are back in decent schools and we are doing ok. I am not in love with my sugardaddy just grateful. I am passing too and am top 5 in my “white school” meaning I know I will pass my matric. I work hard.
My problem is my sugar does not seem to respect me. We have sex when he wants even when am on my period. He is not violent nor does he ever shout but I can’t seem to say no to him. We had sex with another girl just a month ago. She was older and so on. I want to break free but unless you have faced poverty the way we did, you would never understand why staying with him is the much better option. I have a lot of what ifs in my head right now. My sugar has never threatened to take all these things away from me but I just don’t know how to talk to him.
I know I am a bad person for having a sugar but please help me…