Memoirs – Chapter Seventy Four

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

I wanted to die. There is no other phrase to use! I wanted to die. Surely she had made some mistake in what she had said. Not only had my wife cheated but she had been in a threesome with two other men at the same time. My knees felt weak and I collapsed into a bench in the park. No maybe it was me who had heard wrong? Should I go ask her again? What if she says it again and it confirms it? What would I do then? Who was worse though? Me who had slept with my colleague and her new best friend or her who had slept with two men at once? That does not even make sense in my head? This was my wife I was talking about! She had chosen to confess and now I wish she had not. I was disgusted by her at the mere thought of what she had done! She had to pay for it! I was not going to let her get away with it! That thin line really does exist, the one between love and hate! It’s a fact! The reason why most people, well it’s usually women to be fair, absolutely hate their exes is because they loved them once! This is usually true. I loved my wife dearly but she had done what? I was not going to spoil a baboon like this! I was going to punish her and I was not going to divorce her either! Hell no! She did not deserve it! That was too easy! I was angry. I was confused. I wanted to scream but I could not. Imagine a black man in Cape Town screaming in the middle of Adderly Street? Nope, not wise!

I had to go back to work. At least this was the one thing that seemed to have worked for me. The matter had been resolved in such a way now they were talking holidays etc. I had really wanted to take my wife as she deserved it after the stress I must have put her through but what had happened in the last two minutes had probably harmed us forever! I honestly do not get why a married man or woman would go confess after cheating. I don’t care how born again you will be on the day you do and how matter you cry because that destroys your marriage forever. You will never fully trust your partner again because the thought that someone else touched them will always haunt you. As I crossed the road to enter my office building I almost got hit by a car! That’s how much I was not concentrating. I had to take this like a man. I had cheated too but not like this! A threesome? With two men? For a married woman! Ah, I did not know what to say.

When I got into the office I resolved that come what may I was going to look happy and normal. Carrying your heart on your sleeve in the work place is pathetic. Most people are suffering in their homes but you will never know this because at work they keep it professional. When I got into the office my boss came to see me again. I hope he had not changed his mind. He came to give me the name of the travel agent I would be using and said everything was sorted all I had to do was call in and make the arrangements. I thanked him. He said he was glad that matter had been resolved because he liked working with me. What a lie! I had spoken to him directly less than ten times since I started working here but white people are good at this sucking up business. I went back into my case load and called a few of my clients just to assure them that I was still on the boat not that I had to. I was a bit of a celebrity at work though as many people kept on passing through my office as though to make sure that I was really back. Never trust anyone you work with especially in the private sector. Just a few days ago they were sure I was being fired and no one had sympathised and now they were pretending to be happy I was back! All in all work wise my day was decent.

On the way back I started plotting on how I would revenge of my wife. I had many options on how to! People don’t get this, when you are in a relationship and something like this happens, if you do not react as a man your wife will think that the reason why you did not react is because you yourself are up to something. Damned if you do and Damned if you don’t. Yes I was doing this from an evil place in me but that is the reality of relationships. Of all the situations you have, this one you react to!

I called her. At first she did not pick up but about five minutes later she called me back. It was loud where she was so she said she had had to go find a quiet spot. She was still very frightful in her voice. I asked her where she was and she said that she was at the bus station booking a bus to go home! I asked her why she was going home. She said that she had messed up so badly she had to leave so that I don’t kill her in her sleep. I don’t think she meant that as a joke. Wise woman but she was not going anywhere! I told her straight up if she got onto that bus she must never come back again. I told her that I will divorce her before the bus even reaches Mdantsane so she better think carefully about this! She was stuck! Even her voice sounded it! I told her I am going to get home and go to the gym. When I came back I want to find her cooking at home! If I come back from gym and she was not there, well, she might as well get on that bus now! I hung up.

When I got home I found Khanyi gone. Her things had been packed and the room empty. I had forgotten that Zimasa had started school today. She was still in uniform and was doing her homework. High school. She asked me what she should cook and I told her not to because her sister cousin was coming to cook. She sounded a bit surprised when I said that but I think she was too busy with her homework to care.

I got ready for gym and I left. I won’t lie I hate gym to be honest. There are these big buff guys with muscles bigger than my head that lift very heavy weights whilst looking at themselves in the mirror. Like wtf! I am part of the crew that struggles with 20kg weights so you can imagine the embarrassment. I would rather go dance with the women in the classes! Not even sure what that does for my physic but I am certain that with all the bending over women in there at least I get to be a pevert and enjoy a free show. I will worry about Asthandile later! When I got there I was not disappointed! Ass everywhere! Gym was meant for thick bodied people and this place never disappoints!

Eventually I left. When I got home I did not see my wife’s car! She had gotten on the bus? A bit of panic set in! Eh, I don’t want to lose my wife. When I entered the house, there was food on the stove but on Zimasa in the tv room!

I was about to ask where my wife was when she walked in from the guest room. She had not heard me enter and was startled. She stop and looked at me. I could see the absolute fear in her.

“What for dinner?”

I asked cheerfully that it even confused her!

“I hope you did not make broccoli I hate that shit!”

I teased her! She feigned a smile!

Stupid bitch though she could get away with cheating on me!

The things I was going to put her through!

I smiled back!

****The End****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Thank you thank you for a wonderful read!

I am 17 and I am a sugarbaby. My mother knows this and much as she has shouted at me for it I think it relieves her of some of her stresses. My father passed away in 2010 and our relatives accused my mother of killing him. They took half of our things and things were really tough for us and my aunts (father’s siblings) beat up my mother. It was bad. I have two siblings. My mother had to make means and got a job as a cleaning lady in a bank. We lost our house etc so to cut it short we were broke. I moved from my suburban school to a township one and I struggled to cope. I too was angry at my mother and for what I don’t know. I then met a very well known national politician who became my sugar. He started helping me first with pocket money, got my mother a decent job and now all three of us are back in decent schools and we are doing ok. I am not in love with my sugardaddy just grateful. I am passing too and am top 5 in my “white school” meaning I know I will pass my matric. I work hard.

My problem is my sugar does not seem to respect me. We have sex when he wants even when am on my period. He is not violent nor does he ever shout but I can’t seem to say no to him. We had sex with another girl just a month ago. She was older and so on. I want to break free but unless you have faced poverty the way we did, you would never understand why staying with him is the much better option. I have a lot of what ifs in my head right now. My sugar has never threatened to take all these things away from me but I just don’t know how to talk to him.

I know I am a bad person for having a sugar but please help me…

Thank You


43 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter Seventy Four

  1. Mxolisi you are such a hypocrite. That car should have hit you sies. What makes you think your wife won’t find out about your shenanigans? mxm i hate hypocrites !!!!

    Annoyed for weeks

  2. Q&A life sometimes can through a lot at a person and sometimes judgment only seems like that “judgment” but the causes for a gel to be going that down low are very much as for you gel RESPECT seems like what you are seeking and with him you aren’t gonna get any!!! you stand to lose a lot but thinking about losing everything can seem like an easy way out but also walking away now may seem selfish to your siblings but babe you need to really value your life and make decisions on your life as he will end up giving you diseases incurable of which your trade would have been for nothing and hopefully you have been practicing safe sex with him and good luck your seeking for DIGNITY as I feel you now have the value for it!!!

  3. Guys are forgiven for cheating mara for them to just forgive is a mission.

    can this couple sort out their lives nje and stop cheating

  4. Thank mike for the great read. Mthobisi at least your wife is ornest with you.

    Senventeen: just follow your heart. If you’re not happy with him then leave him. Your happiness come first. At least your mother have a job

  5. Thanks Mikeesto, yoh things are getting freaky in that household.

    17. Ye sisi being poor doesn’t justify pimping yourself… And your mom getting a job out of it and saying nothing??? Wow.

    I mean just because a guy doesn’t work and stays in alex and has been living in poverty since birth, doesn’t give him the right to go robbing people and killing because he wants food from those more fortunate.

    At the same breath, I will command you for your hustle. People label Khanyi Mbau a gold digger, I differ. I say she is a platinum certified digger who graduated from Hustle university with distinction. You can easily waste your assets to some kasi broke nigger who will beat the crap out of u and give u kids he won’t support. Or you can continue the way you doing, your education will be sorted, your mom and siblings are sorted, then you can get a good paying job one day, fancy house and all that goes with it.

    I’m not saying what you doing is right nor wrong. I’m saying, faced with a challenging situation, one is likely to make inconsiderate decisions. You probably were having sex before the politician anyways. So if u can benefit from it and your family, one has to respect your hustle.

    Some will call you a prostitute and all other nasty stuff. Pay those haters no mind. Be vigilant and take proper advice that can work in your favour when you wanna cut loose your sugardaddy.

    Insh Allah


  6. Weeeee Mxolisi!! Who do u think u r judging ur wife that way after what u’ve done? U shud b ashamed of urself. I hope she finds out. Moron!!!

  7. Seventeen….last week on a confession,Nelisa’s aunt told Nelisa that as a sugarbabe,you lost your principles,respect,your worth and dignity the day you let another woman ‘s man touch you…..the day you sold your body for money,you can’t talk sex when menstruating now… should have laid ground rules b4….its too late or else you will loose it all….the world is cruel….risk it and tell him…and learn to stand alone,I know poverty but I rather downgrade than loose myself…..leran to appreciate what you have and work hard…..things will come together oneday

  8. Thanks Mike

    Seventeen, I feel for you honey. Life has forced you to things you never thought you would just so you can survive. I actually don’t have an advise. Do what is best for you and your family will be happy as long as you are happy.

  9. No girl, na. Feeling bad for creating a better life for the fam? Honestly u not putting yourself out there for a weave or moet at sway you’re getting an education and getting food on the table.

    If I was in your position id probably do the same

  10. Thanks Mike.
    A to Q: am so heartbroken… This is your life and no one else can tell you how to live it. I don’t want to lie to you and say ‘no this / yes that’, but just stay strong and atleast be safe and use a condom. Work hard at school and make a success out of your life.

  11. Mxolisi is just evil, I mean sure Asithandile was stupid to confess but he is not innocent either, sies.

    @17. A sugar daddy will never give you any respect as the only place where he has authority is when he is with you. Him supporting you gives him that entitlement and worse he is supporting your entire family. He treats you like a prostitute because technically you offering him your body in exchange for money and a good life. You ending things will have consequences now, I mean your mom will most probably lose her job and you will be back to poverty again. Its up to you, do want the good life with no self respect or do want to be in poverty but still have your dignity?

  12. thanks Mike for you are a great writter.
    17.going to a public school has never killed anyone, you just have to value yourself more than material things, like you said, your mom had a job as a bank cleaner b4 you got involved with your sugar daddy. girl time and adaptation is the most vital medicine in our its up to you to take a step to take charge in your life. sleeping with another person’s man does not justify your situation, you can still obtain good marks in the public school as long as you not gona be robed your freedom,dignity and a chance to explore and enjoy your teenage stage, and stop being a victim of that selfish old man.
    trust me i know what im talking about from experience as o didnt grow up having a fancy life but i am something today

  13. Yho Mxolisi what are ur plans mara, cheating life with Khanyi to ur wife yho yho dis is deep stuf.
    Seventeen life is not as rosy to everyone, what u did is shameful but u are trying to make a living, mokgalabe o must respect u maan.

  14. Iyoooh

    17: first things first, it is so deep that your mom is sitting back and watching this situation playing out the way it is, however it can be argued that she also knows what she stands to lose and the whole family as a whole.
    I’m sitting here wondering given that i was in your situation, what would i have done. depending on how important values are to me. i would weigh things and i suppose i would look at what i stand to lose too. then devise a strategy of how to mitigate the risk once the *nana* hits the fan. ultimately you need your mom to be on your side understanding everything before you let go. i was watching saints & sinners last night and a similar scene was played out. look leaving won’t be easy but think of the woman you want to be in the long run, do wana get married? have kids? how will you handle it if your kids were in this situation?
    Girl find yourself a good church and get to know God, He knows what you’re going through and He’s already got a plan of how to get you out of that situation. He is the only way out of this life for you.

    I wish you well. Praying for you sisi.

  15. Q2A boo i understand the struggle u have seen if i was you i will focus on my studies its the end of year have you’re matric result,, u knw Man with money can destroy u dnt act now wait until next year make sure to use protection … apply for bursaries

  16. If benginguwe Asthandiwe bengizongena kulelo bhasi ngihambe mina angeke ngilungi ukubhadalela isono impilo yami yonke. Mawungahambi konke azobe akwenza kuzobe kulungile uyozitsela ukuthi wuwe omenze akwenze hell no with me yhoooo.

  17. @ seventeen life is cruel dear. I will not judge that is not up to me. I think you must continue tolerating this man until you have a degree… something to fall back on. Once you have completed your studies then you can show him the middle finger after all most relationships are based on sex and money lately so if you are benefiting from the relationship so be it. but Please use a condom and do not fall pregnant.

  18. I would have not said it better than Jackzorro, 17 u were getting laid b4 your politician nd chances are u were not benefiting anything so what’s de problem with what u doing now…don’t feel bad sisie @least u know what u doing gives u nd your siblings a better future just make sure u proctet yourself coz that man will never leave his family 4 u,just enjoy your benefits nd be clever girl. Have that account that he knows nothing about it nd save. Goodluck

  19. *sobbing* sometimes I wish mike and thozama cud post twice / three times a day.. eish, or just sell us encyclopedias of their stories becoz d reading on prescribed times (once daily) like a toddler ain’t nice..

  20. Nice 1 mike

    17 if he respected you would you still want to leave him or if he didnt want to have sex when you are on your period? sister i am not going to judge you follow your heart.

  21. JACK ZORRO!!!
    U the man, I thnk its abt tym we ammend that hustlers bible

    @17 u knw whn ppl fail to do something, they tell u, u cnt do it.Don’t ever listen to them,even me. Soldier on with your hustle, I respect u,u the definition of a hustler against all odds

  22. Hi 17,

    Eish its sad what life has dealt u, and I understand your intentions, but at the same time sometimes the end doesn’t justify the means. U r looking at this from your angle, but have u ever thought what u would do if tomorrow your sugar decided he’s enough and lets u go and takes his support with him? Then u won’t achieve any of the things u r aiming 4 anyway right? So I would advise u to think about what it is that u would do if that were to happen, then start doing that so u can slowly start getting away from this life if its not what u want. With good grades u can get yourself a bursary that will take u further with your education without having to compromise yourself, then u can easily start getting your family to a better position and the beauty of all of that is that u won’t be relying on someone else that can just easily take it all away from u in a heartbeat. Remember girl, easy come easy go. All the best!

  23. Iyoooo…il hate to be Asthandile rite now. She’s in for a big suprise, a threesum mara. I agree wth Mxolisi dat u shud neva confess rather lie cos sumtyms da truth will kill u or in dis case inslave u.

  24. I hate u Mxolisi lyk seriously, wat differenc does it makes? U cheated too n trust me its gonna back fire on u man..! Neva do things u wldnt tolerate setibuya kuwe

  25. Stupid bitch my foot, rhaa sies Mxolisi! Two can play that game….who do u think u r, poor Asthandile shouldn’t have confessed…coz really now the bastard that is her husband will make her pay for it!!! Dog plzzzz!!! Bloody liar and hypocrite!! Sooner she will know what u’ve been up to all along…nxaaaa! Men like Mxolisi disgust me!!

  26. Q&A.. I have never been in dat kind of situation. I can easily say do this & don’t do dat, without me knowing how it feels 2 be in dat situation. All I can say is use dual protection, which is contraceptive & a condomm, plz don’t get pregnant. I know ppl who went through tertiary with sugar dads money & they have left dat life behind & have good jobs & family. All I can say everything happens 4 a reason… Good luck & may da Lord protect u..

  27. Q&A impela imali impande yesono, the fact that you are seeking opinion and help from us is indication that there is an inner voice which is crying for help and realizes that this is not right. Please listen to that voice and do soemthing before its too late. I know its easy for us to say you must get out of that life because we are not in the same situation but we know becasue we are older. Into embi ngemali is that you get used to it and become comfortable and it then becomes difficult to do right ngoba you are used to that kind of life. Its not worth it cc you still young, there is so much in store for you which you need to enjoy later without someone reminding you that they are responsible for your success. Also what if you wreck someones home in the process and become responsible for hurting the whole family, you will never forgive yourself.

    God is there for all of us and if you tell Him what you want He will guide you, He wants us to be patient and wait on Him, he has all the right answers.

  28. Mhhhh stay with ur suger honey until you can stand for yourself don’t let people tell you any way, at the end of the day its ur education and life we know nothing we just comfortable in our own homes, eat that suger bbe no matter what

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