Memoirs – Chapter Seventy Eight

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

When the police call you in for questioning usually they already have a case against or you are a witness. That’s how it is. How much did they know about that case then? If they knew my part in it I was dead for sure. I was very scared but I was not going to call a lawyer to represent me because that’s as good as an admission of guilt. This was moving too fast because when it comes to a sense of urgency, SAPS rarely every have it. Why was the investigation therefore moving so quickly. I told the officer that I had a few things to do but I was free to come in the afternoon. He said that was fine. If anything in the legal profession we respect each other. I was worried though. With that on my problem I worried about the second thing, my wife! Why had she insisted on having sex especially then without a condom! It was not like her. Like I said earlier on, our sex life was very regulated.

I decided to go wash my face because I needed to work. I was tired sleepy and stressed but this could not wait. I bumped into Zimasa on the stairs and she was in her summer pyjamas which I swear cover less than conventional underwear. Was it me being a pevert for surely how can this be accepted as normal. She was not wearing a gown and was carrying water making me assume she had gone to take water. When I got to our room my wife was lying down on the bed. She was done cooking but had not eaten I am certain of that. I wondered if she would shower considering what we had done in the study but I doubt that very much. I went into the bathroom and on the sink was a bottle of antibiotics that had recently been open.

“Are you sick?”
I called out to her in the room,
“No why?”
She replied!
“I see the antibiotics”
I called back. She kept quiet for a second then she said,

“O, I realised I didn’t finish the last dose I had so I decided to finish them that’s all. Don’t worry am perfectly fine!”

She said trying to sound casual but truth be told there was nothing casual about that. A lot of men especially don’t know this, when you date a woman who is on contraceptives especially the pill(like my wife), if she wants to get pregnant all she has to do is get on a course of antibiotics and it will knock that shit out. Ever wondered why you get pregnant whilst you were on the pill? Think back…did you have flu the month you inexplicably got pregnant? Yup, antibiotic! Damn, my wife was serious about this baby business! I did not want a baby though.

“Asthandile we need to talk about what you said in the study…”

I began.
“You said you want us to have a baby. Why?”

I asked her. She did not want us to before so what had changed. Was she trying to cover up for herself because it just felt as though maybe she could be pregnant with someone else’s child and wanted me to take the fall. Imagine mistrusting your wife to this extent. We really had fallen so far of the ladder!

“I think we need one. We are drifting and this will keep up strong and together!”

It’s not just Africans who think that a baby can bring them together, white people do it too and both are stupid! A child makes things worse because it actually puts extra strain on the relationship. Part of me was tempted to say that no, this is for the best, as it meant she would be grounded whilst pregnant but that again did not sit well with me!

“But you have a new job you claim to love how do you suppose that would work?”

I asked her. She ignored me and asked if we could talk about it tomorrow because she had to dish and we had to eat. She did not even give me a chance to respond and stood up and left. I picked up that bottle of antibiotics and looked at it again. Ok then, two can play that game. I put it in my pocket and went to the study where I hid it.I said she could dish I will just be two minutes. Like I said I stay a five minute drive is an exaggeration but that’s how far I stay from the shops. I went to clicks and bought morning after. I then went to dischem and bought a second morning after and apple juice my wife’s favorite. When I came back they were already at the table. She asked me where I had gone and I told her that I felt like juice. She said I should not have bothered because she already bought some. I acted all gutted and said it was because there was none on the table. She apologized and asked if I could pour us all some. No problem. I crushed the first morning after into her glass and served her first so that I would not make a mistake. My love loves apple juice the way a drunkard loves beer! By the time I had brought ours to the table she had finished hers. The second pill I will give her tomorrow! I doubt you can overdose on morning after…can you?

Eventually I ended up in the study. I felt guilty about my wife but I did think that there was no other way to handle it. A baby for what? I think I had a pregnancy shadow following me because an hour later I got an sms from the person I did not want to hear from the most,

“If I get pregnant what would you do?”

This was from Lindiwe! What the hell? Was that her plan all along? I ignored her but it disturbed me. I could not concentrate after this. I walked into our bedroom as my wife walked into the bathroom to shower.

Right there on the bed was her phone and funny enough it had that beacon light to show that a message had just come in. I could not resist. It was just a number and I opened it,

“Meet me outside. We need to discuss what happened the other night at the party. I think my wife suspects but I can’t stop I want more…”

I replied,

“See you in a minute. My husband is out for a few hours. Drive in and close the gate behind you.”

I took out my baseball bat! Listened out for the gate. I saw the car drive in, a man came out and closed the gate then went back into his car.

Stupid move!

I know my house better than anyone else. I snuck round him from a blind spot then locked the gate!

Time to discuss what happened the other night like a man!

****The End****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Thank you for your books, the entertainment, lessons and warning we get from them.

I am 29 and just got divorced. Imagine, 29. I dated my husband from university for 6 years before we tied the knot. No matter what you will never know the true colours of a man unless you marry him. After we got married I think he tried to get rid of all the girls he was cheating on me with whilst we were dating. Problem is three of the girls came and exposed him right at my house. Imagine, he was sleeping with three girls other than me at the same time. One even accused him of cheating on her with one of her friends which makes four. He apologised, families got involved and the biggest mistake, my mother mother came and told me to stay. I listened. In marriage he had left them that’s why they were fighting. I thought I knew my man because you quiz his friends as well as my own friends, you observe etc but that’s all bullshit. No one will ever tell you the full truth. We got pregnant later that year when I found out and things were good. Note I had taken us to get tested again for the upteenth time! I had a difficult pregnancy but he was by my side. I don’t know if he was cheating or what. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. As I had a C Section it took us almost six months for us to have proper sex again. That was almost two years ago. At 28, last year I found out I was HIV positive! I had only slept with one man in the last ten years, one man and before I got pregnant and during pregnancy I had been tested negative!

I divorced him! My life is ruined and I hate him with everything that I have. If I had a gun I would shoot him but for my daughter who needs a mother. His name is……. and I hope he rots!

Thank You



77 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter Seventy Eight

  1. Oh wow Mxolisi is on a mission

    Nqobile dear i feel your pain but do not hate pray ro God for he is the only 1 who will give you peace and people live longer ,happy lives with hiv and just take care of your health be more active God will see u through,as for your ex husband he will 1 day answer in judgment day for doing you wrong for he can live happy in earth but in heavan he will face his demond

  2. Hmm even in marriage people ain’t loyal, giving your wife morning afters that’s very cruel though!!!
    A2Question: I can’t imagine how you feeling so betrayed now, cry it all out when you feel like doing that, and as time goes on you’ll be able to live with the pain, pain and hurt will be there now but as time goes on you’ll get past this situation, and above all put your trust in God,throughout all he will never leave you nor forsake you, indeed his mercy and grace is given to us, build your relationship with God and read your bible to hear about all the good things he has in store for you.

  3. Tjo, ya neh, life lessons right there.
    I am sorry for what has happened to you. You certainly did not deserve to get infected.
    I believe your plight will be an eye opener not only to me, but to other men out there.
    No glove no love, exists even in marriage. Guys if we can’t keep it in our pants let us protect our women and use condoms please.

  4. Uuuuuh this book can really keep a girl clued……great stuff Ta Mike….
    Sad story,my sorry won’t change anything but harde sis that its happening to you….he was not fair at all..people are really not one person who is tired of being faithful..if he cheats I do it as well..go to hell with two wrongs don’t make it ryt,the women who says stay didn’t live in the era of HIV,I would have cheated on him at least you cry knowing that you were not perfect and you know the exact meaning of that….tired black woman

  5. Eish ya nheee (Mxolisi is the guy we”d love to hate kodwa)….mbethe athi shuuu u Boss-man Mxolisi thats disrespect ryt there…this man has no game &he deserves a proper beating maan!!!

  6. Ha! Things are happening at this house hold! Riveting stuff Mike.

    @Nqobile, you got a very raw deal. Phephisa sisi, I hope one day you make peace with this and forgive him for what he did to you. Forgiveness is hard and its not easy and nobody can impose it on you but it sure eases your burden. His day will also come.

    The naming and shaming would have helped some other innocent soul who is being targeted by this guy but you are right Mike, its not the platform.

  7. Lol m just a bit confused about mtho s situation .isnt it that clicks or any other pharmacy doesnt sell morning after’s to men?..because we(ladies) have to fill in sum form?

  8. Thanks Mikeesto, this is a wonderful dose of daily entertainment.. Dankie.

    Firstly I just want to state nje that I once had a heated argument with bloggers regarding religion, so if offended by my comment below… Plus consider it as my OWN comment.

    Nqobile, it might be very easy for you to hate, even your mom for making you stay, fear no evil sisi. Marriage is hard, especially if u are married to a busted. I mean 4girls?? And you were married?? This man is sick, he got what he deserved but you got a raw deal and I think you need to get revenge.

    Some say God will help you, I highly doubt that, how the hell is praying going to assist with the fact that you are HIV positive? I think if at all, when those girls exposed him, it was divine powers telling you to get out.. You missed that chance.

    This man needs to feel pain, he needs to be taught a life lesson that will remain with him til his sour days are done. He needs to know that what he did, though not fatal, destroyed you. I say not fatal because HIV is not a life sentence, if u live positively. But he needs to pay, whether you arrange for him to be on a wheelchair, to have his eyes popped out, penis cut off… Whatever, but he needs to learn.

    God will understand, he is suppose to be a caring God mos, so do it and then ask for forgiveness.. That’s what all these so called God fearing christians do… Hell even criminals pray before going on a mission.

    Live positively sisi, be brave for your daughter, you can live til you’re grandma with the medication available and remember that a cure is still something that is being researched, its only a matter of time.

    People do evil things everyday and then hide behind church or God.. There isn’t no amount of gospel that can heal you. Revenge is a dish best served cold… Its the sweetest joy next to getting #####. A fellow blogger was being cheated on and cheated back with the brother and best friend.. She was both endorsed and hackled by readers.

    Get your revenge sisi and pay people no mind for they will always talk..

    God Bless(Insh’Allah)

    1. lol Jackzorro i felt the same way about my ex wanted to organise a beating for him, but the guy that was supposed to do it talked me out of it, he asked me what would i do if the ex doesnt come out alive from the beating? if i will be able to live with it, and he told me to forgive and let God deal with him, honestlly im glad my hitman advised me against this as i tried to forgive this guy and its working and my soul is free, he is the one who lives with guilt everyday for what he dd to me he cant even come to the hood to visit his friends because he is scared he is gona bump into me, forgiveness goes a long way it frees a person from a lot of things,

      revenge is sometimes not a solution

  9. Haw lendoda yaze yalingwa ngonondindwa womfazi jerrr,kodwa ungangena emzini wendoda ebsuku…isaphume for coupla hours?so disrespectful

  10. Hhawu weMichael!!! This is out of this world!! Can’t I pay you to just write tomorrow as well and park Nelisa for a while? Yyyho, kuzoshuba la!!! Monday is too far!!!! This is brilliant broe!
    A to Q: Nqobile, Nqobile this is bad and I feel so heartbroken and feel so bad. Can’t even begin to express the anger and pain I feel after reading this. Yyyohhh, I could so relate and agree to what Jackzorro is saying right now, but eish nnnxxx! Sorry cc. It’s as if this shit just happened to me, mmmh nkc, am trembling ukuthuka nokudinwa!!! Stay strong cc for your child’s sake and hope for the best; after all you can live a normal long healthy positive life….

  11. Hi mike

    This is my first time commenting, Jackzorro I couldn’t agree with you more. God help those who help themselves. Nqobile no amount of sorry will change this situation. Be strong for your daughter.

    I would really love to have a word with you, please take my email address

  12. Mmmmm jackzorro….Mikey iv been da silent reader ever snc da beggining of uThandeka been keepn up wt all ur books never missed a single post but jstnever commented only a few tyms bt today i read dis letter my heart broke s i was scrolling down i came across JackZorro’s comment….thnk u so much for the enlightment nd i thnk dats da best advice anybody cud ever give obviously it is up 2 u if u wna use it…Goodluck

  13. Jackzoro noma ngabe you come from which religious angle revenge is not sweet especially ngoba these 2 have a baby to raise. It is very selfish to only consider ama feelings ka Nqobile and forget about the innocent soul, the baby.Ntosh I am glad someone is brave to speak the truth when every one else speaks revenge and I applaud you for your decision. No matter how bad this guy has been but at the end of the day his child needs him. Nqobile yes you are hurt, betrayed its not nice to think that uzongile all your life and this guy ruins it. You have never slept with any other man and yet contracted the virus, its not fair but so is life. Vuka uzithathe forgive your ex and raise your child, bear no grudges and you will be so happy. Holding grudges can only make you vindictive and uwe ozoba unhappy and you will find ukuthi yena akanankinga.

    I am sorry to differ but Jackzorro I find your advise out of line, as I said noma ngabe uqhamukaphi we suppose to promote peace between people. In any battle its a loose -loose situation, Nqobile has been through a lot already and needs a fresh, peaceful start. I myself identify myself with what she has been through but I forgave the guy before he passed on a few years ago. I am living positively with the virus God gave me a fresh start, I have 2 kids a loving husband, he is negative but I am sure I would not have achieved all that if I became vindictive.

    All is not lost, especially in this age of modern medicine, we learn from these experiences but most importantly life goes on.

  14. Lmfao Jackzorro is the shit Lmfao but taking revenge might get Nqobile into trouble (we share the same name eeeep:)) but if she wants to she can, I’m just worried about her wellbeing and her daughter ending up motherless

  15. Mike did you really have to this to us? You know its Friday and now we’ve to wait till Monday, which is more like 2015. I need a baseball bat stru.
    Nqobile, I’m so sorry for what happened to you but the sad truth is life goes on and you’ve to be strong. Hatred is not good for you,it will eat you alive. Forgive and forget I know its not as easy as I say it. Focus on yourself and the child. This isn’t the end of your life. Just take care of yourself. Wishing you and your baby girl the brightest future.

  16. Wow Jackzorro u r the best….every time i read your advice you sound so positive,i wish i can share with u some of my problems,but above all that is the best advice ever..

  17. Thank you mike 🙂 ish is about to go down. I disagree with Jack zorro your advice is totally not ayoba. Vengeance is mine says the lord. All in all karma will take care of the situation. You reap what you sow and Judgement is not ours but for the almighty. I agree with Ntosh and Q. Forgiveness is the hardest thing one can give but ke nathi we seek it at times, Forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who tresspass against us. Its not easy but it does set you free. Nqobile you will get through what you’re going through you just need to stay true to yourself and seek his kingdom.

  18. Guys why are we women suffering like this. Right now I feel like I’m not living my life. I’m fighting inside to prove to this man so that he won’t go out and that I’m the right one

    But now I have reached a point where I feel like its enough. I need my life back but I think I need help

  19. I thnk the blog says t all already if he cheats on u…y dnt u do de same mna ndithi asthaa u got him right whr..@jackzoro I’m out of words U inspire me yea I thnk u shud consider tht counsellin..n I bet u I’ll be de 1st 2 nock t ur door bigup!!!

  20. For some odd reason I love Mxolisi and behind him all the way lol,y would the bitch Asthandile cheat and fall preg,m sure she’s preg dats y she slept with poor Mxoliso so it would seem dat is his baby…mxm ungrateful lier..m so happy shez caught red handed

  21. Nqobile sthandwa sam,forgiveness is not something that you do for others,you do it to free urself…do not be bounded by something u cn never change,u need toi forgive ur ex husband for u to find a way forward,wat he did was so evil,ni words cn describe the pain he caused u bt still u need to forgive him…its like being reped,if u dnt forgive ur repist,he will continue raping u until u die,dnt let ur ex make u ur own prisiner

    Jackzorro u r wrong,faith can heal someone from waterva sickness,our pastor was raped and unfected ,but by faith she is negative today..even so Nqobile cn take ARVs and live for a very long time by Goddfs grace…so Nqobile my dear,u need to forgive hin adawise u will b miserable for the rest of ur life…

  22. i just had tears in my eyes because of jackzorro. People like you go around giving bad advice like this and we think you meant well. I ddnt want to comment but because of your advice god just made me do this. My sister m human just like you and everybody in this planet, rich or poor smart or dumb believer or non believer in god. We all go through very rough patches, be wise it is times like these when you get to see the real you. Just because some1 did you bad you dont have to change and also be a bad person thats not you. Let a criminal be a criminal thats the path they chose not you. If you need to talk i ask mike to please give you my email because there are people who will give advice u feel its good but will ruin your life. Thank you.

  23. Can’t believe I made @Xolani cry, I’m sorry bro, toughen up. Remember that people can’t handle the truth, yet it sets you free. Advice given is just that, advice. The last resolution is based purely on the decision one takes after careful consideration of all possible options. The reason why Men get away with murder,rape,cheating is also contributed by the fact that women in some cases do nothing. They forgive and pray about it, while their lives are rocked with misery and picking up broken pieces that can never be fixed.

    Miracles do happen, like a fellow reader made mention of the pastor praying and phoof, all of a sudden they were cured and negative. But come on, what are the chances really?? If the bible itself made mention of such uncurable conditions…

    Sometimes revenge is best served cold..I’m #JustSaying… Love you all guys and I read your comments as well.

    Lol and on the shrink note, KaManyosi,Sbucie,2so to name but a few, will also be required 🙂

  24. @nqobile…
    My dear sister,its not the end of the world..forgive him and let go..i no its painful going through such…but u are still alive. Seek jesus…seek the lord…for all things dwell in he..and his will shall be done. No matter what,hiv is not the end of the world trust me. I have a close person who is infected with the same disease,but let me tell you girl…u would never belief. I would like to tell more sisi wame,and be a source of comfort to you…u are alone nqobile…let go of the anger and the guilt…
    Mike ….if that sisi is willing please give her my email me her address so that i can be a holding her hand…

  25. Jstcurious, in other pharmacies they even want identification…
    Mxo must beat up this man, he has no shame. How do you close another man’s gate to go and get “more” in his house, nxa. Maar after that Lindiwe and the police must teach him some life lessons, he thinks he’s all that and a little bit on the side.

  26. Q profound words right there… Fully agree… Revenge wont do her any good. Yes she can avenge what her x hubby did but that is not going to change her hiv status. Nqobi being positive aint the end of the world… Remember God can never put you through something that you can never handle. I believe that everything that we go through in life whether good or bad there is a purpose. I dont know if you read the bible but if you dont please read the whole scripture of JOB. That man went through enormous heartache however his faith saw him through every pain he experienced and in turn GOD blessed him abundantly.. Pray sisi Pray and if you believe God will heal you. Mothing is impossible with God… Ask, pray and believe then you shall be blessed. There is a rainbow after every storm. Our upheavals makes us stronger. God is with you sisi and he doesnt love you any less because you are you are HIV positive. Surround yourself with people whom are going to build you up. For your daughters sake and for your peace of mind please do not even think about what Jack is saying about revenge. Pray and seek guidance in the Lord and one day you will be able to forgive and free yourself from this hatred. It will get better… Gotla loka samma.

  27. Sometimes it is so easy to talk when you are on the other side but truth be told, even forgiveness is the hardest thing you can do whether for yourself or not. I was 27, the man told me to go get him arrested, that’s how shallow he was. I just wanted to sleep and never wake up. I wanted to stay with him thinking I will be protecting other women and he had the audacity to still cheat. And then I wanted to print his pictures and paste in his neighbourhood but I guess I was not that brave or I remembered it was not me. When I called it quits, I never looked back and I told myself no more relationships, I wouldn’t want to cause anyone the pain I was going through. Few things saw me through…
    1. The love for my mother. That woman raised me and there was so much i wanted to do for her.That long sleep was going to kill her more than knowing my status. Nqobile girl, love your daughter enough to want to live for her only.
    2. A friend of mine once said isn’t it that the bible says what we pray for God shall provide? If someone do you bad why pray for their peace and forgiveness? That was before the change in my life. I prayed for his suffering instead, even though I will never know as I do not know where he is, I still did and said He(God) will see it through. It gave me solace to some extent.
    3. Naming and shaming: it was never my responsibility to protect other people, they can do it themselves. if I couldn’t even protect myself why carry a cross that is not mine? I was already carrying what seemed like more than I can handle. I had to deal with my emotions and getting through the pain.
    4. There is a piece by TD jakes called let it go, I read that I don’t know how many times and began to accept I can never change the past so I should just let go.
    5. My physician said “Put it in the black box and live your life.” I still live by that, it’s been 5 yrs now.

    4 months later, I was blessed with a loving man, negative as he was, he showed me there is indeed a come after a storm. We now have two beautiful kids and going strong.

    Nqobile, I am not saying it is easy or that it will be but it’s doable. Process what you are feeling,cry as much as you need. Just don’t dwell, get to a point where you say it is enough and he is not worth it.

  28. I so wish to see le verse ethi God help those who help themselves,and I can’t belive someone will ask how praying to God will help someone who’s hiv positive….

  29. Eish Mike. Mxo is very resourceful but the police are waiting for him, then we will see how he gets out of that one. Thank you for the good read as always.

    Nqobile ey one doesn’t know what to say except trust in the Lord & cast all your cares on Him. You will overcome through Him, Hebrews 11:1
    1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Your future is in His good hands. May you be blessed.

    I would like to ask a personal question. Why did it take 6 months after the C section to resume sex with your hubby! Normally six weeks is recommended & doable. Sometimes women take long even after normal delivery? All I would like to suggest to the sistaz is if everything is right/working please try & resume sex after six weeks post delivery on your doctor’s advice. Marriages take a lot of strain at such times. Please don’t misunderstand the advice, it will not change those who want to do as they please & in the process hurt their loved ones. Be blessed.

  30. Monday is to far bt I blv there will be. A twist to the story on Monday dnt tink mxolisi will beat tht guy instead there will be more lies from de nyatsi and the wife

  31. Hi my sister. I feel you 100%. Men only care about no one else but themselves. They so selfish. Keep strong for the sake of your anlngle.

  32. Thanx Mike but I so wish I can get hold of these books, waiting is my weakest point, suspense is killing me!!! This R5 thing is not helping either, I want more

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *