Memoirs – Chapter Sixty Three

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

I could make the situation bigger than it already was by bursting into there a second time. No wisdom in that though. I had no desire to lose my wife. Confessing now was a bad idea because truth be told it would only give her the justification she needed. I would lose the high ground that was so crucial in this. I walked to the lounge and slumped into the couch. Marriage at times is like a game of chess, every move counts. I had a plan but it was hasty at best. No matter what though it did not include me losing my wife. I was going to fight for her to make things work out. Zimasa came downstairs and said she needed to watch tv because it kept her sane. She could tell I was distressed.
“Don’t worry I am not going to tell what I heard you and that woman talking about!”
For a moment there. I was confused then I remembered she had heard Khanyi profess her love for me. This was complicated. I told her that it had nothing to do with that but I would be fun. She looked at me then said,
“Bhuti can I please say something out of order but please don’t be angry at me!”
She asked. I had heard it all today so why the hell not. I gave her the go ahead.
“That Khanyi woman is a bad bish!”
What the hell is a ‘bish’? I was confused! Very confused. I asked what she meant because oh well, I had to indulge her. She then said,
“The only reason why you are having problems in your life is because you are friends with her. She is influencing your wife and manipulating you at the same time! That’s my take on it but oh well…its none of my business!”
She said as she proceeded to flip the channels! Teenagers! What’s worse about this situation is that she was probably right! Why didn’t I see it coming?

It was not twenty minutes before Asthandile came into the room. She came and hugged and kissed me on the cheek before asking how I was doing since my last stomach episode! That too felt like a very long time ago! I told her I was fine now so she did not have to worry about that. Its amazing how much self restraint I had in me at that moment every instinct in my body was saying snap her neck! Violence! Why do we men always resort to violence! I was angry enough to break her. I was even sweating at this moment at which she asked if I was catching something. Yeah of course I was… I was catching a murder charge after I killed her! Stupid woman! Play me in my own house, under my roof and under my nose! That’s how I felt at that moment. She told me that she was so happy I had agreed to give Khanyi board in our home and for that I was the most amazing husband ever. She was even kissing me and touching me and said tonight she did not care how tired we both were I was getting a reward for this! A reward…she meant sex! Zimasa cleared her throat of which I reminded Asthandile that we had a child in our midst. She laughed and joked that,
“There is nothing I am sure Zimasa has not seen and here what she is witnessing, well this is the right way!”
She said! I don’t know why she even thought it was funny because truth be told it was not funny! I don’t know why big sisters often make such suggestive jokes but its common.

Its weird and sad at the same time to say this but I do not recall the last time I had seen my wife this happy. She was genuinely so happy. I know that look. When someone falls in love for the first time with someone they have this radiance about them. They glow as though they were pregnant. My wife was no different. Her excitement was palpable. I had not managed to bring this out of her in a long time. Its so shameful to say this, another man was the reason why my woman was this happy. Its easy to say I was all to blame in all this but I don’t think so. My wife always came first. I do not think I have ever done anything to make my wife doubt my love for her she was well taken care of and this is both financially and physically. As far as I am concerned what you don’t know can’t hurt you because it cannot be used against you at any point. To my wife I was or should have looked like the perfect husband. I had been working for years now since marriage and had only slipped up now. My wife the first chance she got to cheat she did not even last two weeks! Either I was not as good a husband as I thought I was or I had misjudged the person I had married which is true of so many couples out there! Its like people who hate and say rich people are proud! How do you know if you are poor yourself? How do you know what a rich person should act like if you have never been rich one day of your life! Get rich first and let’s see how you will react to that. Same is true with marriage, you can’t say you are perfect or your person is loyal to death unless you have been tested.

When I finally managed to take her upstairs because she was getting really frisky in front of Zimasa who to my dismay did nothing to stand up and give us privacy. When we got to the room my wife got on top of me. She had never been that much active in bed. She asked me to give five minutes. She ran into the bathroom and came out five minutes later. Let me describe how she came out,

She was wearing a short flairy dress and the kind of shortness you don’t find even in a club! This came out of a sex shop and if you are Cape Townian you know how many those shops are. Ask the members of parliament there and they will point it out to you. I had often tried to take her to Adult World just to spice things up and she refused saying she was too much of a lady to get into such filthy shops! The zip was in the front, and she had it open to her belly button leaving out a cleavage to die for. Wait, I am not done yet, She was wearing black and red lingerie with a lace lining or at least that what I could make out from the open zip on the bra! Wow! This was not my wife. I know I had tried to bring out this sexy side of her before but now that it was here, it scared me. She was not wearing stockings like the ones we are used to, more like the knee length socks that school girls wear. It’s hard to explain because these are white people things but ah, stop it I like it!

I could not however get this thought out of my mind, was she overcompensating for where she had been earlier? Ah! What if she also got laid earlier on! This is not my wife! She was up to something!

I had so much going on in my head. She did a sexy little dance which I am sure was seduction but with all these things in my head…

She disgusted me!

****The End****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

I was only 10 years wen it started,my parents were building our house at the time n there was not enough room at home for me n my siblings to stay in that house and i was sent to live with my brother n one night he came on to me n raped me n since then it happened every night,like they say if u were raped once its like its written on yo forehead that u r available for their satisfaction,that same year my uncle n cousin did the same,that turned my life upside down, since then i blocked it out,but wenever a man hurts me,doesnt matter how,those hurtful moments just arises n id lose control of my emotions and feel like dying. Im bitter and i hate men.


23 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter Sixty Three

  1. Thanks Mike….
    To Anonymous, I am sorry to hear about your sad story my advise is to seek professional help because you will live with this emotional baggage forever…..

  2. The one thing I think memoirs is short of is the dramatic ending to every chapter which leaves us wanting more and wondering what’s next (Zulu girl goes to jhb hit that right on the nail!). Missteps is on that level too for me. Confessions I cannot relate to.

  3. Thnx ta Mike…
    I can only imagine how Mxolisi is feeling but he deserves it too. It doesnt matter how long he was faithful until he started being unfaithful bcos cheating is cheating an dats dat.

  4. iyoh!! To anonymous please do seek professional help and pray to God to heal u emotionally. Note that not all men are like the pigs that abused u. All will be well

  5. Mmmmmh Asthandile is been workin 4 two weeks and already cheating?akanasimilo nangu mfazi,even I be disgusted if I was mthobisi damn maybe she was wearing tht same ish nomakwaphen wakhe

  6. Asthandile is definitely cheating!! Ke tseba ka nna,when im cheating,I make sure my man has nothing to complain about,I give him lots of sex,cook for him and be extra sweet towards him!! Lol
    Anonymous: my heart is tearing out for you. You need to get professional help,you can’t live like this my darling!! God bless

  7. I don’t think asthandille is cheating… She did not want 2 tell her husband dat she is going 2 buy da thingz dat she is wearing,,its a suprise 4 her husband… Vele if u r a cheater,, dats da 1st think ongayicabanga Nawe given all wat has hapened

  8. Dear Anonymous
    I’m very sorry for what has happened to you. Abuse is rife in our society, worse when you get abused by someone you trusted like a family member! Your brother and your uncle are not worthy to be called your relatives! They’re cruel and heartless. Not all men are like that. Please go seek professional help, perhaps open up to your parents about what happened. Surround yourself with those you love and trust. Find comfort in the smallest of things like going to movies with friends, get a good book, spend some time alone if you wish, or go visit your local church. Pray for strength. God loves you.

  9. @ Anonymous I ca comprehend, however the rape only happened once with me and lenna ke hloile banna. I just dont last in relationships no matter how much I try I think I am becoming attached to women. But I am praying about it and my mom has suggested counselling ad I am having my first session next week and will see how it goes.

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