So there I was standing in my lounge with my sister’s husband throwing petrol at me, I still had the phone in my ear, to say I was fuming would be an understatement there was no way I could push pass him and run out the door to call security and I couldn’t just leave my sister there at the mercy of this man, but I was most certainly not about to be turned into a bacon, this was a survival game and one thing I have learnt of late is how to detach myself from circumstances around me, but this was a completely different scenario, all along it’s been my husband getting me in crazy situations, now my sister’s husband. What is wrong with the 2 of us, why couldn’t we have married 2 normal guys, why did I have to have a thug of a husband and my sister a psycho, I stood there and decided to try and negotiate with this fool, I said “Lwazi please don’t burn me, rather take a gun and shoot me, I don’t want to die a painful death” I had forgotten that the phone was still on my ear, Tshepang screamed out so loud that I got a fright “Lwazi is trying to kill you?” I screamed back and said “call your brother, call your brother”, Lwazi grabbed the phone and threw it on the couch. He moved back and took out a lighter from his pocket, this man really meant business, I stood there waiting to be turned into braai meat, when out of nowhere Ausi Maria came from behind Lwazi with a frying pan, she swung that frying pan so hard, Tiger Woods had nothing on that swing, she hit Lwazi on the head so hard, I felt the wind from that swing, Lwazi fell down on his face, I was speechless I had even forgotten that she was in the house, she got to the floor and took the lighter from him then walked to the bedroom and came back with a towel and two of Mthobisi’s ties, she handed me the towel, I was still in shock, I asked her what she was doing, she said she was making sure that we he got up he didn’t try to hurt me again. She told me to hold his hands while she tied him up, Lwazi was out cold, I got to the ground and held his hands, Ausi Maria tied them up then tied his legs, this looked soo funny, I couldn’t help but burst out laughing, I asked Ausi Maria what we were doing? Did she even have a plan? Were we gonna tie him up then lock him up in a cupboard? I couldn’t help but laugh at the idea of Lwazi locked up in a cupboard.
As we were finishing to tie Lwazi up my sister came and asked what we were doing, before she could even finish her sentence she saw her husband on the floor and started freaking out, she screamed at me and asked what have I done? She got to her knees and tried waking him up then looked at me and said “You killed him Lesedi”, wait, what? Dead? Was Lwazi dead? In all this I had not even checked his pulse, oh my Lord, did we kill a person. Ausi Maria and I both looked at each other in total shock with both our mouths wide open, my sister was now crying hysterically I couldn’t think straight. I decided to check his pulse I couldn’t feel anything, in fact I didn’t even know how to check for a pulse, I have seen in movies people putting their hands on the neck and wrists to check for pulse so I did the same and I there was nothing, now I really wished that I had done the free CPR classes at work, I stood up and screamed “shit, he’s dead” now not only my sister was crying but so was Ausi Maria, you would have sworn we were at a funeral, I had to be level-headed. What would Mthobisi do in this situation I asked myself. I told these 2 to keep quiet and that we needed to get rid of Lwazi’s body, at hearing that Naledi jumped at me like a lion attacking a sheep, she jumped at me and started punching me and asked how could I be so heartless, I kill her husband and now I want to cover it up by getting rid of his body, Ausi Maria had to pull her off me. Okay, wrong choice of words, I honestly didn’t know what to do, we had a dead person lying on my lounge and the last thing I wanted was to go to jail for this useless man, I was not sorry that he was dead, oh no he deserved it. My phone rang it was my husband he asked if I was okay, he said Tshepang had called him and told him that Lwazi was trying to kill me, and told me he was a bit far but had called security to come to our house. Security? I was panicking, and told him everything was under control he must just come home urgently and should call security back and tell them everything is fine then I dropped the phone. I didn’t want security finding a dead body in my house, I didn’t want to tell Mthobisi over the phone that we had killed Lwazi you can never trust cell phones and I had read somewhere that cell phone calls are recorded by the government so I was not going to take chances even though the article was about American calls but if they can do it there who says they won’t do it here, there was a knock at the door “Complex security, please open up” oh shit, shit, shit what do I do now. While I was still thinking what to do my sister rushed to the door, opened it, in walked 2 security guards, Naledi shouted “my sister killed my husband arrest her” ah, ah, ah, I have no sister, this is why she and I were never close she could never stand by me, she always and I mean always choose her husband over me, even when the bastard was dead, Ausi Maria went back to walling and screaming, the poor security guards didn’t know who to attend to, they walked in and saw Lwazi on the floor tied up, I told them he was trying to burn me to death, I was still soaking wet from the petrol he had poured at me, Ausi Maria showed them the lighter that he was going to use to burn me, one of the guards said they will have to call the cops and an ambulance, they asked us all to sit down and calm down, none of us could sit, they untied Lwazi, one of them put his hand next to his nose and said to my sister “this man is alive, he’s still breathing”, I screamed “what?” my sister was so happy she was jumping up and down with excitement and even gave the security guard a hug and thanked him, this sis the same woman who was ready to have me arrested by security who didn’t even have guns, they were probably going to tie me up with my husband’s tie, no one was more relieve than Ausi Maria, I’m sure in her head she was already imagining herself in an orange uniform.
A few minutes later the Police and ambulance arrived, Ausi Maria and I gave our statements of what had happened how my sister’s husband had tried to burn me and how Ausi Maria was my Shero, yes not hero but Shero I know there is no such word but it suits her, she saved my life, I could not thank her enough. Paramedics said they would be taking Lwazi to Fourways Hospital coz it was the closest and he probably just had a concussion in the head, it served the bastard right I thought, now he would now how it feels like to lie in hospital and to be put by a woman there will just hurt even more. Mthobisi arrived while the cops were leaving, he saw me all soaked and smelling of petrol and hugged me and told me how glad he was that I was alive, I smiled at him and told him “I’m a diehard baby” we both laughed my sister looked at Mthobisi and said “can you believe that Lesedi was already planning on disposing my husband’s body”, I quickly said Naledi misunderstood but Mthobisi was already giving me the behave yourself look, Ausi Maria shame was feeling so bad she explained to my husband everything that had happened, Mthobisi thanked her for saving my life, he said he didn’t know what would have happened to me if she was not around and told her she could take the rest of the day of coz she was obviously shaken by the whole experience, she left. My sister said she will be going back to her house when Andiswa arrives with the kids, I asked if she was going back to Lwazi she said he needs her, “unbloody believable, after he almost cremated both of us, you still want to go back to this man, what else must happen before you realise this man is insane? Do you want to die Naledi, because that is exactly what’s gonna happen, he is going to kill you, please Sis, I don’t want to bury you, I’m not ready to lose you, I’m begging you please don’t go back to him” tears were running down my face as I was saying this. It was like I was talking to a brick wall, I was not getting through to her, I swear Lwazi must have gone to a very strong sangoma for my sister, her love for him was beyond blind.
A few hours later Andiswa and Cleo arrived with the kids, the kids were soo happy to see their mom, my sister was ecstatic. She thanked Andiswa and Cleo for taking care of her kids, her friends would never do such, all they would have done was gossip about her behind her back, she told them she didn’t know how to thank them enough, Cleo with her loose mouth said “you could thank us by hiring a hit man to take care of you know who” she didn’t say his name coz the kids were around, I quickly changed the subject because I could see my sister getting annoyed by Cleo’s comment. Naledi packed her things and asked Mthobisi to get the kids clothes from Andiswa’ s car, good thing Lwazi’ s car was an automatic coz she could only use one arm, she took Lwazi’s car and left with her kids, I honestly did not get why she was going back to him. I kissed my hubby goodbye as I left with my friends to go to She Rocks house, we passed by the bottle store this was going to be a long day.
We arrived at She Rocks house, now this girl stayed in a Golf Estate, before you even get there she must send you a code, this code changes every 24 hours, at the gate security will scan your car license disk and your driver’s licence, security in this place is beyond tight, you can’t enter without the code, the residents enter with their fingerprints, so we did the whole process of cars and licences being scanned then entering the codes, it takes you 5 minutes just to get in the gate, then you must still drive inside the estate for another 5 minutes to get to the house. She Rocks was unusually happy and I say unusually because for the past 13 years on her parents death anniversary she was always I mean always depressed, she would not even take a bath on this day, today she had already taken a bath, the house was clean and she had marinated meat in a dish and snacks and drinks put out, Andiswa asked if we were having a braai she said yes, and she told us that this year she was going to celebrate life, and this braai was to thank us for always being there for her and sticking with her through thick and thin, she told us how blessed she was to have us in her life and we were more than friends we were her family, we were all soo touched Cleo said before we start crying lets drink. We sat and chatted about how our week, they told me about their times with my sister’s kids, I told them about Cape Town, Jessica and the fun we had and left out the Mfundo part, I didn’t want my friends to know coz I personally didn’t know myself what I was doing with Mfundo or where that was going, then I told them about Lwazi almost burning me to death and how my sister still went back to him, Cleo said that my sister was probably not just physically abused by Lwazi but maybe also mentally and that you can never understand how deep abuse goes she said my sister needs our support and we should not judge her too harshly for going back to her husband, nobody knows what she’s going through. I told them that I blame my father for everything that is going on in our lives, we have daddy issues, if my father did not leave us then we would not fear failing in marriage, my sister will not leave her husband because she fears being abandoned, fears being alone, fears failing her kids and fears that her kids might blame her in the long run for an absent father, damn fear can cripple a person. I looked at Cleo and Cleo and said “you studied psychology, how do we get rid of these daddy issues that we have”, Cleo looked away and said “I dropped out of Varsity before we reached that chapter” we all burst out laughing and it was back to our nonsensical talk. We started the braai; Andiswa was our braai master we kept the drinks flowing. As we were joking around listening to music waiting for the meat to be ready my phone rang it was my sister I didn’t know if I should answer or just ignore her I was still annoyed at her for choosing her husband over her life, yes over her life because that man was definitely going to kill her, I decided to answer in case she was in some sort of trouble again, I asked her if she got home safe she said yes but was actually calling to apologize she now understands where I was coming from and shouldn’t have fought with me, and I was right, wait did my sister say I was “right?” that’s one word that I have never heard from that woman’s mouth especially when it comes to me I asked her to say it again to say I was “right” she laughed and told me to stop pushing my luck, she went on to tell me that when she got home her stupid husband had crashed the house broken TV and a couple of other appliances in the house, she now realizes that her man is out of control and was not going to be staying at their home instead she is going to pack hers and her kids clothes and move to our mothers house, ahhh thank the Lord, my phone was beeping in my ear whilst I was still talking to my sister I checked to see who was calling I didn’t know the number so I ignored the call and continued talking to my sister, I asked her what will she say happened to her arm when our mother asks, I needed to know so we on the same page in case my mom called me to confirm the story, she said we should stick to the accident story, I agreed. We said our goodbyes and hung up. Two minutes later my phone rang again still the same number I didn’t know, it was Nomzamo, Ausi Maria’s niece she said “the police are here to arrest my aunt, she said I should call you to let you know” Shit, if the police were arresting Ausi Maria did that mean Lwazi was dead? Ausi Maria will be charged with murder.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto