Memoirs – Chapter Fifty

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

This sounded like a scene come out of some black American movie. I thought she was trying to get back at me. I did not even hear anything else my wife said because this was too unbelievable. Asthandile I think was still asking me why I slapped but it sounded like she was so far away. At this moment my own wife’s concerns were trivial to the fact that I was indeed in trouble. Yes people say that when you are married you are one person but the truth of the matter is that even in marriage there are times when you are selfish and think about only your needs. Right now I was definitely in trouble. I could lose not only my marriage depending on what she said but also my freedom. As a lawyer we tend to think rape cases are notoriously tricky in that unless there is a battering of the woman, the girl is underage or by some miracle there are witnesses its a very difficult case. Why? Because you can never truly if its a case of two people had sex then things got sour afterwards! However, and this is fact, once a man is accused of rape, guilty or not, the stigma and the stench of that accusation will make his name dirty or not regardless of whether the courts found him guilty or innocent. It’s the last you want to be accused of first as a lawyer and worse as a man!

My wife noticed I was not paying attention and started screaming. I guess she snapped. She threatened to go to the Eastern Cape with her parents but who was she kidding, she was going nowhere! Did I just say that? I was sorry I had slapped her but even if I bought her an plane to take it back I would not be able to take it back. It’s so easy to advise someone that in this scenario they need to apologize as though they are possessed because of how wrong but reality is couples handle strife differently. I stood up and walked to my wife and tried to hold. She started to hit me crying saying I don’t care for her nor friends because she had just told me of the rape and I said nothing. See what I meant? It was now about the friends not even us! I held her inspite her in spite of her trying to thrash around like a 5year old kid about to get immunized! I told her I hit her because of fear! With what had happened to Khanyi surely she should see what my fear was about because anything could had happened to her! I told her how she had chosen not to tell me where she was so I got so scared. I told her that I knew how I had handled was wrong but with all that fear plus the real stress her parents had caused it had just happened. I looked her in the eye and told her that she knew I was not this person. I was a good man, her man…guess what? It worked! She hugged me back and actually apologized. Wow! Is this what people mean by abuse?

Now I asked my wife which hospital Khanyi was. She said they had taken her to Tygervalley. She then said what I feared she would say,
“Baby I don’t think Khanyi must go to her place tonight or ever. She must sleep here until she finds a place!”
I won’t lie I had seen this one coming. My wife had this way of seeing the world. It was almost as though she wanted to save everyone and everything. I am not being mean or anything but didn’t Khanyi have her own relatives. Why did she have to come live with us? At this stage I wanted her as far away as possible from my wife and I as opposed to moving in. Really though why would she make up such a big lie. I wonder if she would be saying this if she knew I was the rape suspect. By this I mean my wife.
Why is it so easy to naturally assume that she had lied? A woman had just said she had been raped and all of us jumped to the conclusion that she had lied. Is this how much we value our women I wondered?

Asthandile asked that we go back to the hospital because she wanted to be next to her friend. How could I say no in such a situation? I had to agree. On the way there many scenes were playing in my head of what would happen in the next hour. My wife kept on telling me how life was so bad for women and I agreed. After slapping my wife I saw why I was part of the problem. We are almost in August, Womans Month and our firm goes and talks about domestic abuse to schools even churches. I was so ashamed but then again I could also be a “rapist” in a moment. I almost hit a barrier as I passed the Goodwood offramp, the one that goes Grand West. I was going to use the one by airport though. I think this was my lousy attempt at prolonging the trip. You can’t drive forever so eventually we got there.

There were two policeman with her so we did not go in immediately. Rather we waited outside. This was the telling moment. I am certain she had not seen us though. I was scared, I was sweating.

One of the cops recognized my wife, I think from earlier and he could come in. I just thought to myself at that moment why it had to be male cops with her because in a situation like this a sympathetic ear helps. Why would they honestly send two men to handle this? I was rather disappointed. My wife walked in immediately and went to hug her friend. I guess that’s how you handle the situation.

This however meant I had to enter too. As soon as I walked in Khanyi set up almost in jerk motion! Its as though I had startled her. She was so swollen it was as though someone tried to box her face out of existence. It was such a sad sight. She seemed so scared of me.

Then she did it,

She pointed that finger and said…


Everyone turned to look at me!

****The End****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Mike

I am a 17 year old girl from the Eastern Cape and am pregnant. I was raped by my uncle and he is in jail now. The family said I should not abort and personally i would not have myself. I respect life. The problem is now at a very family event I am shunned as though I brought this on myself. I need help on what to do because I am not so isolated and scared.

Thank You


57 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter Fifty

  1. haiii this story they just live u hanging. you know how i cant wait for a day to pass so that i can read this. 🙁

  2. Tx Mike. Will Khanyi really do that to her friend nd points out her husband as her rapist? Some friend u r khanyi shame on u! Can’t wait 4 de next chapter…

  3. Am vry srry abt wht happen 2 u sne I cn really relate 2 r situation, I waz molested 2 at an early age til I waz 12 by my uncle, I nvr tld any1 in my family am 27 yrs nw n I hv a son de only prsn who knew abt my history is my nw husband, plz go n get help counselling am sure things wl get better by tym

  4. Eish women though! This Khanyi is so spiteful! Did she do this to herself in order to spite the poor man all because he refused round two?! Aagh repulsive

  5. Thanks bra mike:Q@A : Molo sisi and firstly I want to say I’m sorry about what happened to u and I know that won’t change your situation but what u need to know is that what happened to u was not your fault at all. Sometimes in life things happened in a family like your uncle raping u and we usually focus too much on the event but not the people affected and infected. Wena sisi this thing has directly affected u as the surviver (not a victim as u are stronger now to face it) but your family I believe also is affected by the event and that is why when councelling was condacted on you , your family was suppose also to be included. Remember u the survive u are their relative and also the suspect who is your uncle is a relative and that puts them in middle of the situation and in most times they don’t know how to react since the was no intervesion councilling for them as to how to handle the situation. I wish we can talk more and I can be some sort of a big sis who can help u in this situation bcoz my worries is that u may do something that can hinder your future since u have no one to share with and I know this because I’m also a rape surviver. You can send me your details on my e mail address which is enkosi and be strong sisi. Thanks mike again for opening up a door for those who are in need for help.

  6. Oh no Khanyi is a little devil I just don’t believe she hit her self against the wall and accused her friend’s hubby for it. anyway this teaches Men to tighten their belts and run far away from temptations. cant wait for Wednesday.

  7. Aowa Khanyi, sure you want to teach Mxolisi a lesson but what about your “friend”? Worse you are crying rape, I am truly disgusted. Yes Mxolisi is wrong, very wrong but two wrongs don’t make a right.

    Sne, my heart goes out to you. You didn’t deserve that you poor soul. I hope someone will offer you advice that will assist as this is out of my depth. All I can say is may God be with you.

  8. Thanks Mike as always! I hope Khanyi says ‘You left the door open for the rapist to come in’ she really cannot pull the ‘I was raped stunt’ it so discredits women.

    Sne I am so sad to hear what has happened to you, I am also humbled by your decision to carry the baby to term. I think you made the right decision because that is what you believe in & seek God to help you live with the situation.

    Where possible try to give yourself space from negative people & stay in the company of those who support you but at times you won’t be able to. Always know that ‘What does not kill you, makes you stronger’. The reaction you are getting from family is very common & sometimes people are judjemental because they blame themselves for not being able to help but they come across as wanting to blame u. It could be that it was not the first time that the uncle did something like this but some one knew & did nothing about it.

    Keep the faith Sne you will come right, do not be the victim strive to be the victor over this situation.

    God be with you!

  9. Khanyi is so disgusting she’s the one who led mxolisi on he didn’t force himself on you and now all over sudden she is putting the blame on him for something he didn’t do just because he refused to give you another round of sex and he also said he’s going home to his wife. Oh well mxolisi I guess you going to pay the price for cheating on your wife with her friend. I’m disgusted by khanyi she’s a heartless home wrecker, how could she do this to her “friend”.

  10. Thanks Mike. Hhheehhhee Mxolisi, usemanyaleni (you’re in deep ish!!!!, baba).
    A to Q: abort sisi, just imagine that they are shunning you now whilst preggies, imagine the rejection that the baby will be subjected to once they are on this earth. And I doubt if you’ll feel any love for the child as well… Products of abuse, rape or incest should be aborted – that should be put into law. Besides, aren’t you supposed to be given a morning after pill or something after the rape? Not unless it was reported late. Maybe I’m being emotional about the whole matter, but once a case has been opened and a case number issued, it should just be mandatory that the victim is examined, treated and given whatever emergency pills or treatment out there, even those drugs that prevent HIV transmission.

  11. Morning ya’ll. Eish mara Mike suspends e kana? Thanx thou & God Bless.
    Tjo! But Khanyi o tauwe bafethu, or kanjani?

    Q&A: @Sne my Sis, may U be strong on trust in the Lord my love. U have been violated & the redicule from your family is uncalled for. Put your Faith in God, He will vindicate & uplift U my dear. Give it to Him in prayer in all your being. He is the unchanging God in all situations. As for the baby, maybe give it up for adoption as other ppl cant have babies. Stay strong cc. Much love

  12. Khanyi is one sick witch!!

    Sne I’m sorry to hear about what happened to you. I don’t even know what to say. I will put u in my prayers dear

  13. QnA dear Sne can’t imagine pain u r going tru, very same ppl who suppose 2 support jugde u its sad really, best thing cc talk to social worker or som1 omthembayo, join support group….

  14. Sne I feel for you my dear what happened to is horrible. I don’t know how far you are with your pregnancy and if it’s too early please sisi abort because that child is going to open all the pain you have been through and is going to be a reminder of what happened to you. Wish you all the best sisi

  15. But Mxo didn’t hit her or anything like that. I think somebody else did this to her. I hope she’s not making it up. Women sometimes bengakumangaza.
    @Sne, cc I wish I could say something that would take the pain away but ngyaphelelwa. Nobody has to go through what u want thru. You are strong 1st for making yo uncle pay for what he took away from you. I’d say talk to your mother about this. It might happen that the family feels bad about what happen to u and they don’t know what to say to u. Whatever Decision u take I’m sure it will be a good 1. And pls do talk to Zintle she will be of great help. Good luck and stay strong. Sending hugs and kisses

  16. Sne my dear, what happened to you is unfortunate and the fact that family is now acting towards you is more painful but you are never alone.Miss lisa is offering you her shoulder to cry on and including experience, now as for aborting don’t do it lala, most people i know who aborted always wonder if they made the right decisions or how lovely they children would have been, now you might feel that you want to enjoy your life but who says life ends when you have a child? If anything give that child up for adoption, the law might promote abortion but that is an abomination to God because children are and will always be a gift from God never mind the circumstances that happened for the child to be born.

  17. Aowa this B*tch is full of crap, how can she do this mara? Sometimes women are psychotic strue! Who goes after their supposedly friend’s man and get sour when they get dumped? Mncimm

  18. Something tells me that Khanyi was actually raped , we will soon find out. Q&A speak to your pastor or get ppl who will support you spiritually, this is beyond human intelligence, may the Lord see you through. So sorry nunu

  19. Khanyi ke psycho bathong!le wena mr lawyer o tla tlogela goja be o bua ka mosadi,its hurt deep le gone.cos if ne o itsi gore o na le ena y o ja kontle?damn I hate women who cry rape ba itsi gore ha se nnete,wres children and ada woman ba rapiwa maan!

  20. Kwaaa 😀 ThanQ Mike
    But would Khanyi beat herself up cos she didn’t get what she wanted. Besides Khanyi would never do that to Mxolisi after what they both experienced. But we never know with these side chicks

  21. Iyooo!!! A part of me thinks she is just trying to scare Mxolisi. Crazy as she sounds I doubt she will!

    Eish Sne I am lost for words lala. Kore I think this world would be a better place without dikwai tsa banna (Dicks). Pray about it sisi and find strength in the Lord!

  22. ZiyaDuma manje! Ayeyeeeeeee Mxo. Mike here’s a new proposal : How about you post 4 chapters tsa Memoirs per week :p, I’m sure many people won’t mind that ** lol

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