Memoirs – Chapter Fifty One

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

Its a sad moment which people often debate when a woman falsely accuses a man of rape. Its a sad moment because with what the women of South Africa especially go through with this most evil of crimes it’s the last thing we need. However, as a man and as a man who fights against its so sad that should you be accused of it, there is no shaking off the stigma attached to it. For a woman to therefore falsely accuse you of it means that its the end of the world for you. I am a lawyer after all meaning that accusation alone would shake my career to its core and even if I won the case I would lose my respect and reputation. In my head the legal process was already working and here is what made a perfect candidate for being convicted. One, they would indeed find that I had access to her home as I had picked her up and dropped her at home. Even my wife would testify against me on that. Two, Khanyi and I had a history and all they would do was look at our message history. Did Oscar Pistorious not get caught out just on whatsapp messages alone? Who knew. Three, and far more important was my DNA which they would find inside her, outside her and on the couch. They would be no denying that I had indeed had sex with her. I must say only the most cruel person who reads my life story would say I deserved to go to jail for rape because I had told her that it was our last fuck\shag\sex because no innocent person deserves to go to jail. Try walking into a South African prison to see why even for your most hated enemy could you wish them that!

She shouted yet again. Everyone turned to look at me as that finger was pointing at me. A lot of things went through my mind at that moment. You know in movies when police come to arrest a fat criminal (I would say overweight but it doesn’t have quite the same impact so forgive the crude use please). So imagine in movies when they cops come to arrest the fat criminal and he tries to run away, on foot! Yes that was me! One very strong thought was telling me to turn and run! Where I am not sure but run was the message. Now I know why criminals make such bad decisions but where would I run to in such a place. I would probably get lost in the hospital. Wait? Had I just used the word ‘criminal’ in connection with myself? Was I admitting to my guilt? Even I was now confused on whether or not I was the guilty party.

“Its all your fault”
She screamed be it rather weakly perhaps because of the pain. Oh my Dear Lord no please don’t I begged inside myself. I instinctively said it was not my fault. Its the natural thing to do when one is accused of a crime especially in front of people. Now was not the time to try and be cool and suave.
“Yes its all your fault, I can’t believe I trusted you!”
She said. My wife and the police had now moved towards me. One of the police man had his hand resting on his gun. You notice such things and to be honest South African Police are often accused of overreacting to a situation so at times so the last thing you want is to be on the receiving end. One of the officers I think impatient to hear what she was talking about asked her if I was the man who had hurt her. My wife hearing this also chirped in and said,
“Mxolisi what the hell is going on? What is Khanyi talking about?”
I think the moment of truth had arrived! There was no escaping this. I needed a lawyer myself now and I had few good ones in mind question is would they come to my aid as even us lawyers look down on rapist let alone one committed by an officer of the court like us.

“It was all your fault! It was all your fault! You left the door open and that horrible man walked in and almost killed me! Why couldn’t you just close the door and wait for me to lock behind you?”

She said almost pleading. Had I heard her correctly? I walked out of that room and went to find the nearest bathroom. I won’t call it instinct but my legs carried me there. When I got there I screamed out loud in anguish, joy, pain, relief all the same time. I had indeed just dodged a bullet but Khanyi was right, I really had played a role! I was so much to hurry back to my wife I had failed to say goodbye properly as I should have considering what had just happened.

A part of me was still worried that Khanyi might change her mind and point her finger towards me. I walked back to her room. She was still with the cops and my wife was sitting with her. She was not even looking at me as person, Asthandile that is, meaning she agreed with Khanyi that I too was to blame. Wow! What a day? I could not help it but I found myself sitting at the door of her room but inside.

This story was not making sense. It really felt as though Khanyi was making it up. How and when could someone have entered? She was just seeking attention and now she had played me so well there was no way I could tell my wife to stay away from her. How though had she caused those bruises on herself? I could not answer to that at this moment! She was evil indeed. I was going to destroy her though once the dust settled. Mark my words!

As I was sitting there one of the officers got a phone call. This was surreal. He came back and said that he had a bit of good news not that it would help. He said that they had caught the person who had done it. I don’t understand. I thought she had…wait a minute…had she…

Lord forgive but it was true, Khanyi had indeed been raped and she had not lied!

I was so ashamed for not only accusing her of lying but like the whole world assuming that she had lied!

I always say when it comes to rape,

We MUST always protect our women!

Womens month is next month even!

Shame on us!

****The End****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

You really are a remarkable writer so on behalf of everyone who reads the blog, thank you.

I am 40 and been married for 13 years. During that time my husband has cheated several times but in spite of all this we have always gone back together. We both work so its not about financial dependency. Last year I started cheating with a colleague at work. He too is married but at the time was going through a divorce which got finalized three months ago. Ironically my husband over that year has become an exemplary husband. He stopped cheating or rather I stopped finding out, he does not drink anymore and I kid you not two weeks ago got born again. I don’t know if to say I have egg on my face or to say too little to late. I am so happy when I am with my “colleague” but at the same time my husband has become the man I wished he could have been all those years. Should I still be contemplating divorcing him because again will my colleague marry me? That will be naรฏve.

Please advise

54 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter Fifty One

  1. Thanks Mike…..shame Khanyi no woman deserves to be raped and I hope Mxolisi has learned his lesson now.

  2. Shame on u Mxolisi 4 a lawyer u r very stupid 4 shagging a woman lyk dat den live her wth her pants down. She shud hv sad it ws u.

  3. I love u r Blog but honestly speaking this chapter was focused on one thing and it even ended while ba le ko hospital, all I had was that khanyi accused mxo for leaving the door and that the police arrested the rapist that’s all other than that was very much unnecessary. Anyway keep people the good work

    1. I don’t think it was unnecessary! I think we are missing the point of this chapter here! Rape is a serious issue and this is mostly the case that when a woman is violated, the rape itself is clouded with some doubts and questions and all sorts of assumptions. Mxo’s reaction is very typical in this country, first thought is “she’s lying”. Not once has he considered the possibility that she could really have been raped, instead focused on concocting all sorts of stories about how she ended up beaten. And thats the reality we are faced with in this country.

      Even checking the comments on this rape issue, some people believed she made it up to set up Mxolisi, some people agreed that it was right to frame Mxo for rape, some said o layegile coz wa hlanya, all sorts of scenarios based on their affair came through, but I didn’t see a comment where anyone believed she could have been raped for real (could have missed it). Even I myself was consumed on which angle this will take, if she’s lying to frame him, if she got someone to do this to her because I believe she is cuckoos.

      But after this chapter I actually see where it was going, to raise awareness on rape itself and stop getting ourselves involved in scenarios. Our first instinct should be to believe the victim and we need to start getting our mindsets to that first instinct. Rape should be about rape, the violation itself, and not about who deserved it and who didn’t, not about using it for personal vendettas because you were scorned!

  4. People change my sweety, your hubby saw that what he was doing was wrong and decided to be a changed man. Do not divorce him as your colleague might dissappoint you. Stick to the devil you know…thanx Mike for a nice read.

  5. I have many feelings about this, i feel bad for khanyi that she was raped, at the same time i feel it serves her right for sleeping with her “best friend’s” man. Disappointed that Mxolisi isn’t going to jail. Hai maan!!!!!!
    Mike never in my life has anyone ever made me have so many feelings at the same time. Indeed you are great shem. Thank you.

    The fact that you have been cheated on doesn’t mean you should lower your standards and do what was done to you. Your colleague won’t marry you because you have shown him that you have no morals nor will you think twice before cheating on him. I am disappointed that you are contemplating on divorcing your husband and i believe you want to do it because of the colleague.
    Just stop what you are doing and be the wife you vowed to be on your wedding day.

  6. De bastard tt rape khanyi mst rot in jail, sum men r so stupid n selfish nxa, mxolisi u really indeed dogde de bullet on tt 1

  7. I hope mxolisi has learned his lesson. Khanyi is a side dish who you don’t want to mess with. I can’t wait to find out what will happen between khanyi and mxolisi when she’s discharged from hospital. I just hope she won’t move in with them.

  8. I think Mike now is dragging the chapters with unnecessary stuff.

    I think you should divorce your husband only because you don’t love him anymore/u feel the relationship is not working for you but not because you hope your colleague is going to marry you.

  9. A2Q stay with your husband and end things between you and your colleague if he was able to cheat on his wife with you what will stop him to cheat on you? You say your husband has changed to be a kind of man you always wanted so why divorce him now, its better to be with the devil you know than the one you don’t know

  10. Bullet dodged. But that was so short. Only one scene mostly filled with. Thoughts rather than action. ๐Ÿ™

  11. Dear Anonymous,

    Your situation sounds like you have been living with and tolerating pain for a long time and perhaps bottling a few issues for the sake of marriage or peace. ‘Handling’ all that pain can do so much damage to person. Please seek professional help to deal with the pain that your husband has caused you over the years. When that part gets resolved and you still feel the same about leaving your husband, you must not leave him for someone else.

  12. A2Q

    Do not divorce your husband, your colleague is not going to marry you. Seeing as ur husband is a changed man, stop cheating nawe. Give your ‘new n improved’ man a chance, go to therapy, attend marriage seminars at church, revive your marriage. You made a vow before God and witnesses. Repent and do right by your words.

  13. Thanks Mike. Mmmmhhh nk, that’s all I can say. I am also guilty of thinking that she was making this up.
    A to Q: the question should be: ‘Do you continue with the affair or not?’ You can’t possibly think that your colleague will / could marry you? No matter how sweet or good he is to you or makes you feel, nihlanganiswe ukuganga so he wouldn’t trust you as his wife and I doubt if nawe you’d trust him as your husband. What was your reason again for having the affair? Your hubby was cheating – right? Now he has stopped and has changed for the better, so you have no reason to cheat anymore Sisi. Kwabuhlungu-ke coz you now have to end it with your lover, and you’ve fallen for him. Sorry cc, it’s going to be painful, no let me rephrase that – it will be kak, the pain that you will feel. It will feel like you have a thousand boils in your heart and each day uyathunukala!!! But-ke; go back and be a good wife to your husband, uzoba strongo.

  14. Thanx Mike for u Mxolisi u need to learn a lesson Khanyi is blackmailing u and for Khanyi l wonder how do u feel when u look at yo frend after shagging her man.A4Q the fact that yo man cheated on doesn’t give u the right to do the same shem on u u have no morals at all and don’t think yo colleague luvs he’s just using u and one day u’ll c that just pray to God for forgiveness

  15. A to Q I am glad many people have been honest with you that you are playing with fire and inviting trouble. Stop entertaining your lover it is not worth it, you stand to loose more than gain. You are enjoying being with your lover because you only share those stolen moments, once you are together officially things will change. Another thing you do not know why your lover got divorced. When a couple get divorced, both parties somehow contributed to the split and you do not know what was his part, it may be something ongeke uyimele. Please sisize stop that nonsense, if you cannot do it for yourself do it for your children and other women who still want to keep their dignity intact. When a women wants your man, we often say the only way of punishing that person to let them have the man ngoba bazombuyisa like a hot potato. Nawe ngokunjalo you will truly know this man once he is yours and by then you would have lost your family and mostly your dignity.

  16. Q & A
    Please leave your husband for the right reasons not because you think this guy you work with will marry you, I don’t want to sound like i’m judging you but honestly speaking if your husband cheated on you for years, being born again does not take away the fact that he cheated on the person he vowed to love.If you don’t love him anymore or if what he has done to you for the past years was too hurtful to get over then maybe you should leave him but not with expectations that you will get married

    All the best

  17. Thanks Mike for the great read. A to Q: Shame on you all for judging the poor women, some of you just about drowned the poor soul with holy water. Her husband was a cereal cheater and its bad enough when your husband cheats on you once, but repeatedly is an anguish that no women should have to feel. And amongst all the pain and battery on her self esteem she was weak and so she cheated with one guy. Come on now, how could she have guessed that he would have changed, heck some women cheat for the sake of it (some to get back at the cheater). But know cc you must decide, no in fact you must just stop cold turkey ( not even a “good bye shag”) because your husband has now turned into the husband you deserve and the husband you should be faithful to. End it with your lover because honestly he has served his purpose of being a distraction and a feel good habit. But now you have to get back to the business of being a good wife and stay away from that forbidden fruit. Good Luck

  18. Very disappointed….this chapter was practically 5 lines the rest were just thoughts.
    I really don’t want to lose interest so may we please get longer chapters? I hope the next chapter will not still be about Khanyi at the hospital pointing her finger at Mxo please.
    Q & A, unfortunately its only you who can make that decision. You are the one going through this and you are the one who has been cheated on repeatedly. And trust me as soon as your husband finds out that you’re cheating he will kick you out without thinking twice. My advice is that do what’s best for you, do what you want, do what will make you happy. However, don’t expect marriage from your roll on ok.

  19. Tnx Mike for a nyc read…

    A2Q pleeeeeease do not leave for husband for another man, ul regret it for the rest of your lyf believe me been there done that n im regretting every day, I thought the other guy loved me more that my man, only to find out he was not what I thought he was….guess what?? I dumped my man & 3mnths down the line HE dumped me for another woman…..rather stick with the poison u know…..GOOD LUCK

  20. Wow Bra Mike…

    Today’s post is epic to say the least… Reminds us of the bad things happening in our country each and every single day.. It such a pleasure to see someone admitting that thsese things really do exist and its sad…
    Women are not pawns or dolls to release tension on… Yes we were created after man… but all we need is genuine respect and love…

    I urge all men to grow up and open their eyes… Know the n difference between a boy and a man…
    A Proverbs 31 kind of woman is hard to find when women are being physically and emotionally abused as we turn the other cheek…

    Thanks again Mike

  21. Hi Mike, Memoirs chapters are rather too short and focus more on the sub topics rather than the main story. We would appreciate them to be as long as Miss steps cos they are long.

  22. I knew it, the bruises were enough evidence that some1 had indeed hurt her upon Mxolisi’ exit and we knew very well that Mxolisi ddnt physically hurt her. There was a hint even. Salute to the writers

  23. Thanks again Mike. This could turn very ugly. What if the rapist saw Khanyi n Mxolisi doing their thing and starts singing? Mxolisi should realy sleep with 1 eye open stru.

  24. Thank you for always writing with such intellectual skill. I truly enjoy the rollercoaster ride & constant twists & turns, they make it all interesting #Fan

  25. “YOU” he pointed at me, “I blame YOU”…Wow Mike Great chapter,the way u just kept us in suspence! And yah we didn’t see this one coming. Also an eye opener ๐Ÿ™‚

  26. ya neh……reading your blogs jst fascinate me Bhuti Mike we learning alot from you guys.
    A&Q sisi please do this for your children because am very sure things will change when you marry your new guy#i am from a divorced family and this is still affecting me because am afraid to get married……….

  27. Eish I feel sorry for Khanyi! It doesnt matter whom you are rape is rape at the end of the day and its a painful ordeal any woman can ever go through. I wish they catch the idiot whom did this to her!

    A2Q Ausi stay married and enjoy your makhwapheni until he asks you to marry him then maybe you could leave your hubby remember a leopard never changes its spots!

  28. QnA: The ball is in your court, we cant judge you because we have no freaking idea of how you feel. If there’s a chance that things can be worked out, humble yourself and forgive him. However if you are still hurting and need to re-evaluate your life, do that aswell. God is not going to punish you for anything. In fact God loves you and that is why He is allowing you to make the best decision for you.

    But everyone deserves a second chance and you also need to come to terms with your own issues. Work on your internal and move to the external. Even if it means moving out to resolve your issue. You DESERVE to be loved too, no one seems to care about what your husband put you through. But the best revenge is FORGIVENESS. Forgive him because you need to keep your sanity and the grudge is too heavy to bare.
    Make the best decision for you first. Then think of what would benefit your children and then your husband. If you have no peace in your heart you cannot have a peaceful and loving marriage.

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