There is nothing more annoying. About being caught in a lie that has been exacerbated by the truth. I said before, the best kind of lie is one with a bit of truth in it. In this case however the lie was I had said we had two different rooms which to a certain extent was true. She was not sharing a room with me per se more of a door. With that said because my wife had been scared of her own shadow I had had to lie to her. There are people who say that lies are bad and can destroy marriage but I think again that it depends on what kind of lies you harbour and how they came out!
I could explain to her what we had achieved today and how one of Lindiwe’s friends worked at the hotel. That would explain the champagne. I could tell her that it was complimentary and well deserved and because we had achieved this together we had to share it. However, often when your story has too many “ands” or “buts” you are deemed guilty. That’s the lawyer in me speaking so automatically I knew not to say that. Your profession teaches you how to run your household. If you are a lawyer like me you are both attacking and defensive because you do this for a living. If you are a teacher usually your children are studious and well disciplined. Normally it follows that trend but please don’t ask me how preachers kids are often corrupt because that one needs Jesus! I told her that we were celebrating the case and the reason why she had my key was that she had come up with the files from her room and I was on the phone. I told her when she had called I had been with her so I had handed the key to her. She was not buying it but I know better, that was my story and I was sticking to it! She told me that I was acting shady but I honestly did not know what else to say. Most marriages have so many lies all meant to keep the peace. I know men especially are good at this because even amongst my colleagues we discuss this.
She said that she was going to sleep at Khanyis tonight because she could not be alone. This was too much drama for her. I tried to explain but she would not listen. I figured I should let her cool off and tomorrow we will pick up the discussion again. I really needed to get my own room. This was more drama than I expected. Soon it would also start to affect my work as well and I didnot want that. Having a wife that constantly needs reassurance is disastrous I tell you. A wife or girlfriend who is insecure makes it so easy for a man to cheat. What women don’t understand is that it is their insecurities that create loopholes in the relationships. Irony is my wife had always been fine until she made new friends. The first time Khanyi came with Bulelwa she had not had a problem but now all of a sudden she was on my case. It was incredibly frustrating. I was not however going to use this for my advantage. I needed to fix things. Right now though I had to work. I was going to book a flight for Sunday to fly home early morning and fly back that evening. This side they have the Gautrain after all so transport won’t be an issue.
Lindiwe asked me why my wife was so insecure because I seemed like a loyal and faithful guy. She said I had ‘that boring looking about me”! I don’t know if this was sarcasm or straight talk. No one wants to be called boring. I told her I was not boring just respectful. She asked me if my wife had given us permission for me to drink. I don’t think women can ever understand what our ego means to us. Keeping face for men is almost as important as a women knowing she is capable of producing a child. If you want to hurt a man don’t bother hitting or boiling him with water, go for his ego. I don’t know what causes it but we never want to be embarrassed. I took the bottle, opened it and took a swig of her champagne straight out of the bottle. She snapped and said that was not hygienic but in moments she too was drinking out of the same bottle with me. I am not a fan of sharing drinks especially with other men because that swapping of saliva for me might as well be kissing. With a female however, a beautiful smart one at that it is kind of different, there is genuinely something sexy about it.
There was a big difference between Khanyi and Lindiwe. Khanyi used shock and owe as a tactic whereas Lindiwe pulled you in with her intellect. If you are an intelligent man like I think I am an equally intelligent woman does not scare you but is intriguing. She did not seem to mind the fact that what she was doing was incredibly attractive. Maybe it is the champagne talking I don’t know but that was my reality. She said she needed to get comfortable and went and put on the pjs from the previous night.
I swear I think this woman was trying to get laid. With all this tension in me from the fighting, the alcohol in us plus the excitement of what we had from our achievement, why not!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Hi Mike and DOAZG readers
I would like to ask everyone for help.I’ll try to stick to more important details.
I was married to a foreign national in 2005 after dating for almost 3 years. i was 21 obviously young and naive,more inlove with the idea of love. afterwards he showed his true colours. I ran off to live abroad might i add he didnt finance it i paid for everything. every time i talked off divorce he blackmailed me to submission about somethings i did in the past threatening to tell my family and more. I have recently come clean to my parents about everything .i’ve tried divorcing him in the last 5 years but it didn’t happen cos my sister who was suppose to be helping me ate my money,i cant tell you how may lawyers have ran off with my money too. My parents are elderly and cant do much. people are considered friends havent been willing to help which hurt cos i’ve moved mountains for some of them.I cant get much information on home affairs website and SA embassy is not helpful about anything. To come home and do it is impossible cos for start tickets are so expensive and i would need to stay at Mzansi for full 2 months and knowing the system that might not even be enough time adding that no employer would give me that much time off and immigration officers in my current country will not allow me back in after such a long period out of state cos i’m not a permanent resident yet. This long dead marriage is hanging over my neck and i cant sort out my own papers as a result. I’ve tried reasoning with my ex hubby but he wont divorce me although he already has another woman and children so pls dont tell me to talk to him, or my friends or family again,thats what i’ve been doing for 7 years and nothing.I thought that as a foreigner himself he would understand my situation.Guys pls help me find legit lawyers and all information on how i can get this divorce.I really have nobody to help me.