That was the longest plane ride I have ever taken. I was so worried about so many things all around my wife! I often hear people say that they trust their partners completely. These are the people that end up committing crime to exert their revenge because when they are genuine about trusting their partner, when things go south, they fall apart completely. I am not saying I do not trust my wife but I am not going to be corky and be pompous in the belief that I could trust her completely. To be honest I do not even trust myself completely so why would I trust another person to that extent. Most men are possessive and the irony is most women believe that it is when we are possessive of them that we show how much we love them. With my wife I had always given her leeway to do things, not that she ever did. When I first started dating her she had many male friends. Most beautiful females do. It is like they are hoarders as most of these friends are quite unnecessary and only add to the stress in your life.
I turned to look at Lindiwe. She had not said anything at all about what my wife had said. I had obviously apologized and all she did was look at me as though I was the guilty party. This woman was kind of scary. She actually had a man like persona as usually it is males that ignore such matters. This was going to be awkward. She seemed not bothered at all by all that was happening. They had set us next to each other as obviously we checked in together and considering how long we were going to be together I had to talk to this ice queen otherwise my skull would explode. As soon as we got to Johannesburg our driver was there to pick us up. At the hotel when we checked in there seemed to be some mistake with our booking. The hotel was fully booked, there was some sort of environmental conference taking place. I was kind of surprised because in this country no matter what it is, award ceremony, animal convention, politicians even as long it is international it will be taken to Durban. It is as though Durban is the only city that exists in South Africa that has a convention centre! In any case there was a problem. We had been given a three bedroom penthouse suite for the duration of our stay as in we were going to stay in the same apartment room. I thought Lindiwe would freak out but she said that this was for the better because it meant we can burn the midnight oil together! I on the other hand was not impressed at all. I asked them if there was anything that could be done and was told not for four days which was the duration of our stay! I really had cause to be uncomfortable.
When we got to the suite I did the gentlemanly thing and asked her to pick her room first. The suite even had a downstairs and upstairs. It reminded me very much of the Royal Palm Hotel in Gateway Durban where my wife and I had once stayed. It was a beautiful place but no matter how beautiful a place is, if you are there with the wrong person you might as well be in a shack at Joe Slovo informal settlement! For all my shenanigans I loved my wife. I went to my room as well and called my wife. She did not pick up the phone at first and I won’t lie, I had turned into an insecure person. I honestly wonder if when men start playing games and the woman suspects do they become this insecure. I left her three missed calls. Honestly I was pulling my hair out at this stage. Weak I tell you.
I did not even get a chance to settle down when Lindiwe came to my room and said we needed to discuss strategy for tomorrow. I told her that we had done that already back in Cape Town and she said no, we needed to do more! Really? I doubt I was ever going to focus! Something I noticed though, when we came Lindiwe was in high heels. It made her quite intimidating as they gave her the height factor and that confident posture. Now she was in flat shoes and well, she was flat. The power shift I must say was amazing and it was a very natural response. Maybe we will get along after all.
As soon as we set down my phone rang. It was my wife. I told Lindiwe it was my wife and asked her to excuse me. She rolled her eyes but whatever. I didn’t shout when I picked up as I was with company but with the way I felt if I were alone I would have. My wife apologized for missing my calls. She asked me how was my flight. I was so annoyed. She had not bothered to check whether I had arrived ok but I did not bring that up. She asked me where Lindiwe was and I told her that in her room downstairs I suppose giving the impression that we were different floors apart. She said she was relieved to hear that.
When I asked her where she had been she said Khanyi and her boss had taken her out when she came back upset after seeing me. They had gone to have early evening cocktails but now she was home. She then said,
“My boss is so sweet because I was so tipsy, we parked my car at the office and he drove me home. He dropped me off and tomorrow for work he will pick me up. He actually lives in Newlands and that’s like ten minutes away!”
…And then you call me paranoid!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
My name is Anastacia Monare. Three years ago I was raped on the way home from school. At that stage I lived with my aunt. She is a very religious woman and. When I got pregnant because of the rape she refused for me to abort. She said that God had a purpose for this ‘blessing’ and that even in the devils work there will always be a silver lining. I lived through the shame of my rape and bore my son. As a mother you are told to love your child because the child did nothing wrong an so on but what happens if this was an unwanted child. My life was ruined from that moment. I see that man in my head every day. I know people with money say go for therapy but what about some of us who live a hand to mouth existence and barely make ends meet. My son is 3 now and I am 19. I obviously don’t have a job yet. I try be affectionate to my son so as to shield him from the badness of the world but he is the open wound in my life. I am always told that I will survive this but if you have never been raped then I strongly doubt you will ever understand what rape does to a woman. Mike that very same aunt who told me it was Gods work moved my son and I into the backroom after I got pregnant. She barely looks at my son and whenever we in the main house she does not want him touching her things. I have so much hatred in me right now. I was a virgin and a studious girl and now all I have is self pity and nightmares. I don’t know why I wrote this letter but this is my story.